Chapter 83
Having adequately explained myself to Gahyeon, I got into the company’s car with Gyeoul.
Thinking about Gyeoul’s rather precarious state, I wanted to give her a good three days of rest, but since we were in the middle of an important recording for Girl 100, I had to take her back to the accommodation.
I’m such a terrible adult, I’m sorry Gyeoul.
However, I didn’t intend to ignore her worries or not offer help.
So, I asked her,
“What was the reason for coming here?”
“….”
“I’m not trying to pressure you. I know what kind of person you are, so why would I say anything about that?”
To be honest, running away from Girl 100 wasn’t something you could call “just that,” but I said it anyway.
“I’m just worried. Considering it’s not just anyone, but you came to me, I thought I might be able to help.”
“….”
“So, just say it. I can’t say I’ve dealt with everything perfectly, but I’ve managed to sort things out before, right? I’ll try to help this time too, if it’s something you’re troubled about.”
Gyeoul, who had been looking down, slightly lifted her head and glanced at me, saying,
“It seems like a ridiculous story, even to me. It’s absurd and doesn’t make any sense.”
“But if you don’t tell me, I can’t help you. I really want to assist you, Gyeoul.”
Just say it. Gyeoul.
Even if you’re involved in a crime, I need to know in order to resolve it.
Sometimes irresponsible people think that not saying anything will make the problem go away, but it won’t.
That’ll just blow up later, making it impossible to deal with.
Still, let’s hope it’s not assault, fraud, theft, murder, pregnancy, bullying, drugs, cults, drunk driving, or hate speech.
…Thinking about it, there’s a lot that went wrong.
Please, Gyeoul, I hope you handled your accidents with your usual cautiousness.
“You might think it’s a joke. If it’s nothing special, you might be disappointed. You might even get angry over how I made such a big deal out of it… I’m sorry.”
“I promise I won’t be disappointed. I won’t get angry either.”
In fact, this was music to my ears. It didn’t seem like it was as big of a problem as I feared.
“Oh, I might get a bit angry, …maybe a lot. If someone caused this situation for you out of malice, I don’t think I could stay calm.”
If anyone messes with my nerdy friend, I’ll just have to smash some legs.
Gyeoul looked at me with blank eyes and said,
“I had a dream. No, it felt more like I saw the future.”
You saw the future too?
Did you see it?
Another returnee added after Yeoreum?
…But why does it feel familiar when it shouldn’t?
No. Let’s stay calm; Gyeoul might have misunderstood.
“What future did you see?”
“…Do you really believe this?”
“I’ve always believed in you. From the moment I first saw you.”
“…”
Gyeoul lowered her head again to avoid my gaze.
“…Thank you.”
Her voice was thick with emotion.
I gently patted her back.
After a bit of time, Gyeoul regained her calm and spoke.
“It felt like the future when Teacher Taeyang didn’t come to rescue me from SS.”
…Why did you see that?
“I debuted as one of Alcest’s members in SS…and, as you know, I was bullied. Even though quite some time had passed since my official debut.”
It seemed that what Gyeoul saw was similar to what I had once glimpsed in the fragments of the future.
I didn’t doubt her words.
There are people who benefit from management systems like me, and then there are those like Cheon Aram, who can detect others’ hidden motives by scent. So why wouldn’t there be someone who can see the future?
However, I was puzzled about why Gyeoul suddenly gained the ability to see the future.
…It feels like it might be linked to me. It’s more likely that Gyeoul’s newfound ability was influenced by me rather than her suddenly acquiring it, just like Yeoreum’s case.
Ah, could it be that?
Before negotiating with Kim Seon-ye today, I used the memory of possibilities, and I recalled a message indicating it had been used on the appropriate target.
[‘Memory of Possibilities’ has been used on the appropriate target.]
If Gyeoul saw that memory and was surprised enough to run to me, it seems to fit quite well.
But what could that “appropriate target” be to show Gyeoul the future?
I needed to confirm what exactly Gyeoul had heard.
“Can you elaborate a bit?”
“Yes, I’ll tell you everything, everything.”
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That’s how Gyeoul began her long story.
“…After I heard that news, my memory got vague. I just remember walking through the snow and ending up at a funeral home, where I saw Teacher Taeyang’s portrait.”
Gyeoul’s tale was quite shocking.
I thought she saw the same scene I had in the fragments of the future, but hearing her tell it made it seem like she experienced a longer and more detailed vision.
To be exact, it felt like she didn’t just see information but shared an emotional experience.
It felt more like an emotional sharing than just a mere observation.
…Anyway, if I hadn’t brought Gyeoul back then, I’d be dead, right?
Should I call this a good thing or something chilling?
It was hard to find the right words for this weird feeling.
…Come to think of it, why did I show this to Gyeoul and make her so anxious?
If I had just kept it to myself, nothing would’ve happened, right?
Hmm, I’m getting angry.
I can’t let this go on. From now on, any quests that risk my memories will be ignored, no matter how good they sound.
I’ve been completing all the quests, and it feels like that punk Jotcha is getting too full.
It’s time to remember the initial passion that was close to a 7% completion rate.
Let’s get strict here, Jotcha.
While I was lost in thought, Gyeoul was shivering, clutching her shoulders, murmuring.
“When I saw that photo, it felt like something was collapsing inside me, and I kept screaming. I was scared. I was terrified. I hated it. I felt lonely. And I hated myself for being so helpless that I could only scream…”
“Enough.”
I clearly understood that she was in a very unstable mental state.
After all, I had suddenly seen the dead version of someone with whom I had built a close friendship.
…Still, it was hard to keep listening.
So I brought up the topic I had never discussed in front of Gyeoul.
“Gyeoul, do you like yourself?”
Gyeoul’s self-esteem was in the gutter. Like, really low.
I thought it was due to Yeji’s influence. The impact of parents and grandfather who didn’t teach her how to form personal relationships in her childhood. So Gyeoul chose to accept it, saying it couldn’t be helped.
But thinking about the days she would have to endure, that wasn’t acceptable.
That’s why I brought up that question I had ignored under the name of consideration.
Gyeoul looked at me with trembling eyes and said firmly and coldly,
“…No. I don’t like myself.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I’m foolish, oblivious, can’t approach anyone…, I’m passive! I’m also really scared! Pathetic…”
“I like you.”
“…What?”
Gyeoul gasped, looking at me in shock.
Her pale face started to warm up.
I tousled her messy hair and spoke with more determination than ever.
“I could hate you. But you’re such a kind person that instead of hating others, you choose to hate yourself. …Still, I wish you knew that you’re a wonderfully lovable person.”
I believed she had the talent to become the best idol.
“I thought I had lost.”
“And the talent of an idol is none other than the talent of being loved.”
“I need to tell you this.”
“You might feel anxious. You might have doubts. So, it could become really difficult to love yourself.”
“…I already don’t like myself. In fact, I hate the person named Han Gyeoul.”
“Then I’ll love you that much more. I’ll always be a supportive fan of yours.”
“…”
“If Gyeoul can’t love herself, then I’ll love her for both of us. So she no longer has to deny herself, steadfast and unwavering.”
“Love yourself. Gyeoul, you deserve that.”
Tears began to well up in Gyeoul’s eyes.
“…what if Teacher Taeyang disappears?”
Soon, two tears fell.
“What will I do if Teacher Taeyang disappears like in that future?”
“I’ll never disappear like that.”
“No one can guarantee that!”
“I can guarantee it.”
“How on earth can you do that?”
“Because I’ve seen the future!”
“….”
After a long silence, Gyeoul wiped her tears with her hand and asked me.
“What was the future like?”
The future I saw was one where a fool gets hit in the back of the head.
Or a tender-hearted child regretting becoming an idol.
But what I needed to say now wasn’t about such futures.
So I said.
“It was a future where you, Gyeoul, became happy.”
“….”
Gyeoul, who couldn’t bring herself to respond as she repeatedly opened her mouth in disbelief, finally spoke with a pained expression.
“Even a child wouldn’t believe such words, you know?”
“Then, believe it when that moment of happiness comes to you.”
“I’ll make sure of it.”
Gyeoul responded to me, who was looking at her earnestly.
“…then I’ll believe you for now.”
Two streams of tears flowed down her cheeks, turning her flushed face a deeper shade of red.
Through those tears, she smiled like spring and said.
“Because I’m already happy right now.”
*
I drove with the determination to drop Gyeoul off at the Girl 100 recording studio at least before the official recording started, which meant before the wake-up bell rang.
At that moment, Gyeoul, who had been sleeping in the passenger seat, seemed to wake up and spoke to me.
“Teacher Taeyang.”
“Yeah? Do you have something to say?”
The sun, which had been hidden behind the dark blue sky, peeked out and brightly illuminated me and Gyeoul.
“Thank you for being in my life.”
The cold dawn was ending, making way for morning.
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