81st Chapter
Afterward, Seon Taeyang always stayed by Gyeoul’s side.
Whether it was during the wake, the final farewell, the ritual, the burial, or the funeral procession, he was there beside her.
There were moments when colleagues from Taeyang’s workplace or members of the girl group he managed came to visit, but he firmly sent them away.
Even though Gyeoul knew he had already stolen a lot of his time, she asked one more time in the dressing room.
“Are you okay?”
“What about it?”
“…About how much time you’re giving me.”
“I told you, I have plenty of time.”
“…Liar, I know you’re busy.”
Gyeoul realized she sounded like a child throwing a tantrum.
She flinched and was startled inwardly.
She worried that her whining wouldn’t leave a negative impression on him.
So, Gyeoul tried to apologize.
But Taeyang, as if it didn’t matter at all, gently brushed her messy hair aside and said.
“No matter how busy I am, Gyeoul, I have plenty of time for you.”
“…”
He was too bright for Gyeoul.
So bright that whenever clouds overshadowed that light or it shone elsewhere, the emptiness felt immense.
But like the sun that brightly illuminated the sky, she wanted to keep seeing that warm light.
Even if she ended up going blind from staring too long.
That painfully dazzling kindness.
That steadfast reliability.
Was the reason Gyeoul fell for Taeyang.
She loved him.
*
Gyeoul’s grandfather was laid to rest in a columbarium.
She wanted a burial, but his will stated to not make a fuss about a grave.
Gyeoul followed that wish.
With her eyes closed, she paid her respects to the urn containing her grandfather’s ashes.
She had cried so much during the funeral that she thought she wouldn’t have any tears left, but they flowed out again as if there was still more to give.
“Oh gosh, your pretty eyes are all puffy, what to do?”
Taeyang said that and carefully wiped away Gyeoul’s tears.
She willingly accepted his touch.
When she finished her prayers and her tears had dried, she spoke to him.
“Teacher Taeyang.”
“Yeah?”
“What can I do to repay this kindness?”
“What, like you did something great? You don’t have to repay me.”
Gyeoul gazed into his deep brown eyes tinted with a hint of blue.
She looked into his colored eyes and said.
“No. That shouldn’t be the case. I’ve received so much and just kept receiving. This kind of relationship isn’t a normal one.”
“…”
What she wanted was an unchanging and uninterrupted relationship. And the current relationship wasn’t like that.
“The moment Teacher Taeyang finds it bothersome or troublesome, it’ll just end. I wouldn’t mind being seen that way… If that happens, there’s nothing I can do.”
She spoke desperately and earnestly.
“I want to change it before it’s too late. I really, really want to protect my relationship with Teacher Taeyang. So, please tell me anything. Anything I can do or give.”
Taeyang scratched his head, looking flustered.
And he gazed at her as if wondering, “What should I do about this?”
Gyeoul felt disheartened by Taeyang’s gaze and lowered her head.
It seemed she had made him uncomfortable again. She was very disappointed in herself.
Taeyang looked at Gyeoul more seriously than ever and said.
“What do you think a normal relationship is?”
Gyeoul glanced at him while voicing her thoughts.
“A relationship where both give and take equally.”
For Gyeoul, that was what a normal relationship looked like.
Even during her days with Yeji or when forming bonds with the members of Alcest, she had to give something to get a soft response.
In that sense, her relationship with Taeyang felt far too unnatural.
She couldn’t give him anything.
“Well, putting aside whether that thought is right or wrong, Gyeoul, in that normal relationship, what’s the timeframe for giving and taking?”
“A timeframe?”
“Yeah, if a debt-like nature is at the core of forming a relationship, there must be a deadline for when you need to return what the other person gives.”
Gyeoul was taken aback by this unexpected perspective. She had just thought about paying back quickly, and being asked for a clear criterion left her dumbfounded. So she hesitated before answering.
“I hadn’t thought about that. But it has to be paid back quickly.”
Seeing her like that, Taeyang tilted his head slightly to match her eye level and said.
“So it’s not clearly defined?”
“…Yes.”
He smiled brightly and said.
“Then let’s set our deadline to 100 years.”
“…100 years?”
“Yeah, 100 years. We won’t let it end until we grow old and die.”
It was an immense span of time.
“Gyeoul, even though I seem like an adult who can do more than you right now, and even if this relationship feels like a burden to you, it will change again.”
As she looked at Seon Taeyang, who spoke as if such a long time was nothing, her nose began to tingle.
“Someday you will surely become a wonderful adult. And I will become an old, useless uncle. Then I might have to hang on relying only on your kindness.”
Gyeoul thought it wouldn’t be like that.
To her, Taeyang would always be cool and reliable, no matter how much time passed or how much he changed.
“As we live, unexpected things can happen that could reverse this, and it could switch back again. The one thing I know for sure is that you will one day be a more wonderful person than me. You’re already a really cool, pretty, kind, and smart kid right now.”
Gyeoul carefully asked.
“Will that day really come for me?”
“Yes, it will. Definitely.”
“And what if it doesn’t?”
“Then I’ll stay by your side until it does.”
Hearing his answer, she felt like her breath was caught in her throat.
Her heart felt ready to burst.
Suppressing the flood of emotion rising to her chin, Gyeoul said.
“…When you say things like that, I end up wishing that day doesn’t come.”
Actually, she couldn’t suppress it.
The overflowing emotions made her want to hold onto him with words.
Taeyang, hearing the emotions she couldn’t hold back, calmly said.
“Are we the same? I hope that day doesn’t come either. Because then I could keep seeing this cute side of you, right?”
“….”
A sun had risen from a dark, low, damp life.
She wanted to become equal to him.
Not a weak child who only received and depended on him.
But someone who could hug him, comfort his sadness, and be his strength when he was struggling.
And when that time comes, Gyeoul would convey her true feelings, affection, longing, and all her emotions.
She would express them all in the words “I love you.”
Desperately, Gyeoul hoped that day would come someday.
“…Thank you. Please take care of me from now on.”
“Please take care of me.”
“I’ll take good care of you, Gyeoul.”
But such days never came.
-Breaking news. A major truck and a van collided on the Seoul-Yangyang Expressway, with three people seriously injured and transported to the hospital.
-In the accident on the Seoul-Yangyang Expressway, two members of the so-called celebrity vehicle, the van, which collided with the truck, were seriously injured: Dajeong and Rae, while the driver, the manager, died. The police attributed the cause to the truck driver’s drowsy driving. As netizens continue to post memorial messages…
*
That day, it also snowed.
Fluff, fluff.
The whole world was covered in white.
Fluff, fluff.
Gyeoul walked through the snowy path.
Crunch.
Walking aimlessly in this white world felt like a dream.
But this was reality.
It took away her precious little things as if it were a given.
It turned small happiness, which seemed to be waiting for love, into mere bubbles.
It was a cruel and harsh reality.
“What’s that over there?”
“Isn’t that a reporter?”
“Ugh, those ruthless guys. Excuse me. This is a private funeral. Only Taeyang’s acquaintances…”
“Stop.”
“Is that Dalrae unnie? Do you know her?”
“Yeah, I know her. So just leave her be.”
Gyeoul couldn’t pay attention to the noisy surroundings and just kept walking forward.
“…That kid must be hurting a lot too.”
She kept, kept walking.
“Isn’t that Han Gyeoul?”
“Han Gyeoul? The one from Alcest? …Oh, right, I didn’t recognize her for a moment because her appearance is such a mess.”
“Seriously. But why is she barefoot? …Wait, there’s blood on her foot?”
Gyeoul ignored all the people trying to talk to her and walked toward her destination.
And there, in a place full of pure white flowers, she found a familiar face’s photo.
There was Taeyang.
“…Ah.”
No, in fact, Taeyang was nowhere to be found.
“…Ahh.”
The gentle hand that used to carefully stroke her hair so it wouldn’t get messed up.
The gaze that matched her shorter height, looking into her eyes.
The voice that warmly comforted her.
“…Ahhh.”
Was no longer there.
“Ahhhhhh!”
Forever.
*
[The use of ‘Memory of Possibility’ has been completed!]
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