In the end, my father didn’t show up at the funeral.
A hollow chuckle escaped me at his resolute intention to sever ties.
Seeing that there wasn’t even a single message from him,
I truly realized that we had become worse than strangers.
‘What does all of this mean?’
At that moment, the funeral felt so futile.
It was just like that performance back then.
The ones who are supposed to come just don’t show up.
‘I want to play the piano.’
Standing there in my black outfit, I felt pathetic.
My twitching fingers felt like caterpillars.
I wanted to squash this caterpillar against the piano keys.
“Oh dear, how pitiful.”
Whether it was sincere or just empty words,
the condolences sounded unpleasant to my ears.
Starting from “You really worked hard before leaving…”
to “I never expected you to leave this way.”
They hadn’t even bothered to contact me once,
and their attempts at self-comfort were disgusting in their desperation.
‘I thought I could finally live normally.’
I briefly dreamed a sweet dream.
Imagining a happy remarried family, throwing away the broken dish,
and creating a new plate to hold peace.
‘It was all a waste.’
I regretted the time wasted on useless delusions.
So, I called in workers.
Carrying out the funeral with complete strangers.
Listening to the heartfelt condolences of those I had paid,
I watched as my mother’s makeup was done.
‘Are you happy there?’
It was a sudden question that popped into my mind, but I received no answer.
Watching the coffin burn brightly,
I realized that no one else was left around me anymore.
I didn’t even bother calling my friends.
I knew it wouldn’t do them any good to see this pathetic sight.
Now, even receiving pitying glances felt like an insult.
All I could do was rush through the funeral and stand in front of the piano.
Under the dark world, it was the only place illuminated,
the narrowest, my only sanctuary.
At that moment, I realized.
Ah, this is my coffin.
+++++
“….”
As soon as the immersion ended, sadness flooded in.
Normally, the character in the script and ‘I’ should be strictly separated.
But this time, that wasn’t possible.
I too had experienced the pain of losing family.
Of course, the process was different.
Maybe because the outcome was similar, my emotions blended seamlessly.
And because of that.
‘I won’t do it.’
I decided not to shoot [Hyde Dream 2].
It wasn’t just because the script was sad, or that I was emotionally invested—
but also because
‘You said you needed a break, and now you’re suddenly receiving a script? This is going to cause big problems later.’
It was also to make sure I kept my word.
It was also to keep my word until the end.
If the break was interrupted because I received a good script.
That would mean all the scripts I had received before were pretty bad.
No matter how much it was a sequel to a previous work.
Doing [Hydream2] now was an insult to the projects I had turned down until now.
So maybe that’s why?
[Hydream2, D]
The moment I made a promise not to do it, the rating for [Hydream2] dropped sharply.
‘So is it true that if I said I’d do it, it would have gotten a 35% rating?’
Even though it’s a story centered around Lee Jae-yi, is there really that much of a difference?
Watching the rating change drastically depending on my presence or absence made me realize just how much influence I really had.
‘At times like this, it’s best to choose projects more carefully.’
Of course, it was important to make proud works with good people.
But the more critical aspect was the success of the work itself.
“So, what do you think? Honestly, since it’s a break, I was hoping to rest well this year, but thoughts can change.”
This thought became more solid thanks to Seok-ho’s words.
‘It’s best to rest when it’s time to rest.’
There was no need to make foolish moves just because of emotions.
“Yes, then I’ll just take a break this year.”
“Alright, I’ll find a way to put it to you. And how about taking that overseas trip you won from the Golden Bell while you’re at it?”
“Overseas trip?”
“Yeah, I thought it would be nice to just use it while I’m taking a break.”
“Oh.”
Come to think of it, that was a thing too.
‘I heard it would mainly be places where I can learn about culture and history, like Japan, China, or Europe.’
If I had to choose from those, Europe seemed pretty good.
I could just upgrade to business class on the flight anyway.
Long-distance travel wasn’t a big issue.
Since I had learned English using [Sims – The Real Life], it would be a good opportunity to use it.
‘Mom is still pregnant, so she has to stay home.’
Some couldn’t go because of this, others for that reason.
When I eliminated one by one like that, no one was left.
‘Looks like I’m going to travel overseas alone.’
I didn’t think that was so bad.
Spending time leisurely could be a form of fun too.
Just when I was having those idle thoughts.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
-[It is determined that the gap between the character in the script and current talent is significant.]
-[Initiating procedures to match levels.]
-[Downloading application “Amadeus.”]
[Sims – The Real Life] flaunted its presence.
Sims – The Real Life was flaunting its presence.
The moment I saw it, I realized why the success or failure of this script hinged on me.
“Did they set the bar too high?”
Lee Jae-yi’s existing piano talent is no joke already.
But the script demanded something on a completely different level.
A story was born that could only fail if it wasn’t me.
“Even I’m not good enough with my current skills; I’ll need to borrow Sims’ power.”
A story that no one but me could pull off.
A script that only makes sense if I’m the star.
“Good thing I declined.”
Right after concluding that it’s better this year to just focus on commercials.
My phone buzzed as if it were waiting for this moment.
> Donghu, I got my debut decision.
> Could you come to my first music show?
When I got the message from Jaerin, I thought, “Perfect timing!”
[If I can go, I’d love to. I'll definitely be there.
] Really? Then I’ll make space for you.
> Thanks for saying you’ll come!
With plenty of time to spare,
It was right to take care of these things if I could.
++++++
In 2012, Kim Donghu was taking a break.
Starting with [Eclipse] hitting a final viewership rating of 43%,
Big productions flooded in as if they had been waiting.
[The Elegance of a Gentleman], [You Rolled in Rooted], [Hahoe Tal], and others.
Amidst this rush of blockbusters, there was a drama preparing a new syndrome,
It was [Reply 1997].
Nostalgic era backdrop and solid evidence.
These elements managed to maintain a presence among formidable works.
The gathering of works that made their mark in the era.
Among them, who would leave the longest memory in people’s minds?
In that debate, the overwhelming support was for [Eclipse].
Aside from ratings, Kim Donghu’s acting was still etched in people’s brains.
Especially the part where he mourns the loss of his companion became a symbol of Kim Donghu’s acting.
Because of this, people felt Kim Donghu’s absence even more acutely.
Usually, it’s normal to seize the moment when the tide is high.
But Kim Donghu hadn’t done anything significant.
Even if it was a break period,
How come there’s barely any news of survival?
With the situation flowing this way, it was the fans in the café who were anxious.
ㄴWhat is Donghu up to these days?
ㄴLooks like he’s doing commercials… but it’s almost like an extension;
ㄴBrilliant and Haetbap… but neither of these have fan meetings ㅠ.ㅠ
ㄴSince he officially declared a break, I think, “Yeah, he must be busy, so he needs rest,” but still;
I think about running;
That face and acting skills as a break? Seriously, come on;
Either give one Kim Donghu per household or let him do something!
I just wish he’d film one more project.
In that longing, Kim Donghu’s value was steadily rising.
‘What the heck? This isn’t even a contract fee for a child actor!’
Choi Seok-ho felt this in real-time.
Starting from CF commercials to drama appearance fees,
It felt like everything was on a whole different level now.
“At this rate, our Donghu will be a building owner soon… Oh wait, he already is!”
I’m renting from him while running the management agency, right?
Realizing Kim Donghu’s wealth, Choi Seok-ho scratched his cheek.
‘Donghu said he’d take it easy this year, so there shouldn’t be any big deal, right?’
There were a few ads scheduled, but those were just trivial compared to his usual schedule.
This year, it seemed like it would just pass quietly.
‘Probably just the year-end awards ceremony.’
Aside from that, there shouldn’t be any issues.
With that thought, Choi Seok-ho leisurely stretched.
++++++
The debut date was set.
The long trainee days had come to an end,
And it was finally time to spread his wings.
‘How long have I waited for this moment?’
Moreover, with something on his mind recently,
He wanted to debut quickly.
“Hey Donghu, are you still a one-man agency?”
“No, a classmate is going to model,
So I think we’ll be working together.”
“Classmate? Who’s your friend? Is it a girl?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Nothing, never mind.”
Ugh, another girl appears.
Of course, there were no romantic feelings based on the messages.
‘But I can’t let my guard down.’
Donghu could be trusted.
He was my proud (future) husband.
But I couldn’t trust the girls around Kim Donghu.
Thus, it was necessary to announce his debut song clearly.
I had to declare it loud and clear to everyone.
I wanted to confidently tell Donghu, who came to see my first debut stage,
That there’s only one bride for him.
It was true in the past, true now, and it would obviously be true in the future.
‘I’ll prove that I am your bride.’
My only love.
So that you can also be my only companion.
I will leave a strong trace of myself.
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