When I first heard the name Moon Stone, I felt a strange sensation.
It was as if something had existed once but had perfectly vanished at some point.
Whenever I tried to read the memory of it, I felt a sense of alienation,
as if the memory was completely empty, like it had never existed at all—it was truly bizarre.
“…It existed, yet it doesn’t.”
The peculiarity of relics was the issue that Robert Taylor had spent over a decade researching but could never really arrive at.
What characteristics did the relics created by the Moon God and the Dead Dragon possess?
The Moon Stone described by Robert Taylor was about ‘reincarnation.’
Going back in time to live a certain moment forever,
it’s hard to understand why I’d be asking about such a horrific fate, but I indeed found that strange sensation connected to the name Moon Stone.
It felt just like what I had just muttered. It clearly existed in this world, but at some moment, it had perfectly disappeared.
[If the Moon Stone actually exists, the most curious part is whether it affects the surroundings. Can people around recall memories about reincarnation…?]
Relics can’t simply impact just one individual.
Could a force that reverses time and halts space possibly only affect a single person?
Moreover, reincarnation is about reversing the time of not just one person but everyone. If my assumptions are correct…
Arwen, holding her pen, began writing down her calculations on paper.
She had somewhat pieced together a hypothesis about reincarnation.
It surely gained substance when Robert Taylor brought up the Moon Stone.
“Resonance.”
This phenomenon occurs when a relic’s effect is unleashed for an extended period, leading to the collapse of the relic’s power.
Having seen this happen several times through other relics, if reincarnation through the Moon Stone were possible, then this effect would surely manifest in that relic as well.
Time that has stopped simply can’t remain in that state forever.
Since it is time that flows, it is in its nature to eventually move and return to its place.
Tap, tap, Arwen’s eyes narrowed as she tapped her temples.
If indeed Robert Taylor had gone through reincarnations via the Moon Stone, and if it wasn’t the first but rather the case that he had repeated this several times…
“Perhaps he could recall them.”
It may be the time for others besides Robert to gradually start recalling those memories.
Memories were akin to slowly seeping colors.
Like gradually staining a blank canvas, the memories that emerged were far from being all retrieved at once.
They would probably come back slowly.
Naturally, the person wouldn’t realize until one day they discovered they had recovered all their memories.
“…If I were to repeat reincarnation, how many times would I return?”
The formulas drawn in the air danced with magic and glowed as a white line was traced over the shimmering particle.
It wouldn’t be surprising if one were called a ‘pinnacle’ in the field of magic, yet when Arwen’s hand froze in the air,
her eyes were merely slightly opened. She couldn’t trust her own calculations, or to be precise,
she didn’t want to believe them.
“101 times.”
Could one endure a hundred deaths?
Can Rami endure a hundred deaths?
Even if he did, I doubt he’d be in a right state of mind.
It was merely speculation. Based on questioning myself about reincarnation and the Moon Stone relic, I had only set up a hypothesis, guessing at the number.
But if this is close to the truth… Arwen, who had smiled for a moment, gazed into the air.
Robert Taylor wasn’t showing any signs of wavering.
That was the problem.
It meant that a person who appeared fine on the outside had reached a state where it wouldn’t be surprising if their inner self had already crumbled.
It seemed I needed to investigate the Moon Stone a bit more.
If a little more time passed, simply Robert’s approach could bring past memories back to life.
If that happened, it wouldn’t be a big deal if some people in the Empire fell apart.
The door to the general store run by “Jay” closed, and a bluish light began to swirl in the curtained space.
A space filled with magic power; it seemed this store wouldn’t be reopening for a few months.
For the time being, it would be better to stay as the magician “Arwen.”
#
I had seen Teresa, but I didn’t think I would be the one to seek her out first.
Unless she sent some sort of signal, there was no reason for me to move, after all. I had come here at Adrian’s request.
In a sense, I was indeed acting as her escort.
Berod had silently allowed me this role, perhaps because my skills were decent.
However, if I were to vanish alone somewhere, even those who thought highly of me would find it strange.
If I were to meet Teresa, there was no way I would return unscathed.
I thought I might die or get seriously injured.
I wasn’t afraid of dying. What I thought about was what would happen after I killed Teresa.
I didn’t know how I would feel. When I tried to kill Teresa, would I feel any relief if I recalled what she had been repeating to herself?
Even if that were the case, the emotions I would harbor would likely be far from satisfaction or relief.
It would be complicated. There was no telling if my head might just burst open.
Sweating buckets and wiping my sweat with a towel, this had been my state ever since meeting Teresa.
I would swing my sword until I collapsed, and when I was about to fall, I would finally lie on the ground and stare at the sky.
This was somewhat comforting. Being unable to do anything actually helped clear the complicated mess in my head.
After lying there for a while, gazing at the sky, I suddenly lifted my head at the sound of footsteps approaching.
Even under the dark sky, the white light shone clearly, and I quickly recognized who it was.
“You were here. I heard a noise and came.”
“Isn’t it dangerous? Don’t come alone next time; bring a Paladin.”
“The Paladins must be hiding behind me all the time. I know it all.”
I had long known that Adrian had been watching me closely.
To be precise, she had been keeping an eye on me ever since she returned from seeing Teresa.
Was my dark expression that obvious?
What she saw must have been my inner self, so even if I wanted to hide it, I might not have been able to.
Maybe I couldn’t hide it after all.
As I got up from where I was lying, I lightly tapped my side of the bed.
The sweat I had dripped had already been blown away by magic power.
Normally, I would just let it flow, but it wouldn’t be polite to do so next to Adrian.
As Adrian carefully sat down following the sound I made, he eventually realized he was right next to me and flinched.
“Is it too close for you?”
“Not at all. It’s just that you seem to be having a hard time these days.”
“I didn’t think I was showing it that much.”
“The world I see is a little different from what Robert sees. Did something happen when we went out last time?”
I chuckled at that cautious question. It was a voice that seemed to blame itself.
From her perspective, I must have changed since we went out together, so she probably thought something was wrong.
It wasn’t Adrian’s fault. If we have to point fingers, it was my fault for not judging coolly.
“You don’t have to blame yourself. This is my personal issue.”
“…Is that so?”
“It’ll probably be resolved soon. So there’s no need to worry.”
If I killed Teresa with my own hands, I thought that this worry would probably be resolved.
Adrian didn’t need to be concerned.
This was the first time I had any connection with her, and for her—who had done nothing wrong to me—it was too trivial a matter to be worried about.
However, Adrian quietly stared at me.
Her slightly pursed lips looked as if they were trying to deny what I just said.
Finally, the voice that came from her now-open mouth was a little higher. It sounded sharp, almost angry in a way that wasn’t like her at all.
“Even if Robert makes judgments, I don’t think they’re all correct.”
“What—”
“You can’t always go in a good direction by carrying everything alone. Don’t you already know? Keeping everything to yourself and forging ahead doesn’t guarantee everything will be accomplished.”
Her voice was so firm that I was briefly taken aback by her unusual attitude.
My lips, which were supposed to respond, couldn’t open as I thought they would.
It felt like her words pierced straight through my heart. It seemed like she was pointing out everything I wanted to do alone.
“Sometimes, just sometimes, I think it’s okay to honestly let it out. Even if it’s something so absurd that no one else would believe it, wouldn’t there be at least one person who would?”
It was a basic sentiment. Something anyone could say, but it was Adrian who said it first.
I felt a surge of emotion for some reason. Looking at the woman who shared this obvious sentiment with me, I slowly wiped my face.
My reincarnation was such an absurd thing.
If one person is repeating the same time eternally,
who would believe that someone repeated death just to gain trust from those around them?
But now, I just wanted to put an end to this reincarnation.
I had the intent to kill the Crown Prince, and even if I died in the process, I would have no regrets.
In fact, if death approached, I would probably just laugh.
I might even smile at this finally found peace, hoping it would be my last death.
I never thought I would laugh like this.
If it were the past, I might have confessed my reincarnation to Adrian after hearing such words. But not anymore.
As I stared death in the face, I didn’t want anyone to harbor such lingering attachments.
I chuckled for a moment. The moon, always pale in the sky, drew my gaze, and I slowly opened my mouth.
“I don’t really have anything to spill. I’ll be honest with Adrian about everything, but it’s not really a big deal.”
“Really?”
“Of course. Why would I lie? I mentioned we were friends, but I can’t be sure it was a mutual feeling.”
“That’s… not the case, right?”
That’s a lie. Saying I’ll be completely honest is, as always, a lie.
It’s not good to lie to someone.
Even while smiling like this, I wasn’t truly at ease; it was just like wearing a mask.
“…Well, I think it’s nothing much now. I believe it’s just a concern I can share.”
“Then I’m relieved.”
With each word I spoke, that heaviness grew heavier.
The chains binding me would torment me until the day I died.
The closer I got to someone, the more I walked toward my own death.
The chains wrapped around me would only increase their weight. But that was the path I chose.
Even if the truth of it all is revealed and I’m met with hatred, even if the people I connect with turn their backs on me.
It meant I could endure it because I chose it.
I gazed intently at Adrian’s face for a moment.
His face, never once furrowed, always wore a gentle smile.
“I believe Robert. Robert is a good person.”
“Are you seeing my inner self?”
“Exactly. No matter how empty it may be, I’m a saint. I can sense those things.”
Upon hearing Adrian’s words, I chuckled, and Adrian, following my lead, stifled a laugh.
I wanted to correct her on the “good person” part of her statement.
I looked back at Adrian.
Thinking about how that smile might change once everyone knows what kind of person I am sent a pang to my chest.
Sometimes, I wondered if it would have been better not to meet Adrian at all.
If that smile turned to disdain, if her softly whispering voice turned cold.
At that time, I would have no confidence to endure it.
“What if… just what if…”
“Yes?”
“If I suddenly disappear one day, without a word or warning…”
The day I would face Teresa was fast approaching.
I didn’t think there was a high chance I would die there, but it was certainly a predetermined future for me.
If that day comes, all I hope for is that Adrian would continue to smile gently.
Without regrets, without lingering attachments. I wanted to be forgotten like that.
“Please don’t hate me too much.”
At those words, Adrian was puzzled, but I no longer said anything more.
I simply gazed at the sky for a long time until that moon was hidden behind the clouds again.
The flowing wind was telling me that time was approaching.
The moment the violet petals began to wilt, it would soon be time for me to pluck the violet myself.
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