Adrian wasn’t born a saint, but he had grown up in this cathedral and the Moon Tower since a very young age.
He was raised with the help of Berod and gradually grew under the care of the Paladin and priests.
Perhaps because of that, the world Adrian knew was quite limited.
The information gained from books read to him and the divine power he could glean was very scarce, making opportunities to learn about unstudied things quite rare.
Not having eyesight meant he had to rely on other senses to learn everything.
Hearing, smell, touch. Suddenly, Adrian’s body shuddered at the sensation felt in his palm.
It was a touch that felt harder than one would typically experience, almost like something was compressed.
With the rhythmic pulsation felt, a pleasant fragrance wafted to his nose.
It was too subtle to be called a perfume, yet it was so delightful that he wanted to keep experiencing it.
In a moment of trance, Adrian reached out absentmindedly, his lips twitching slightly.
He remembered that Robert had caught him when he stumbled over something with his foot.
So, could it be that this touch beneath him was Robert’s body?
Only then did a faint sense of reason trickle into his mind.
What he had thought was merely a pleasant sensation was, in fact, belonging to Robert.
Realizing it was that of a proper man sent chills down his spine.
“…Oh.”
He tried to pull his hand away, but his body wobbled, leading him to place his hand back down.
The warmth rising from below began to make his cheeks flush.
Clutching at his dizzy mind, he lost his words in that moment, merely twitching his lips repeatedly.
He had never felt such emotions while being with the Paladin.
In a way, it could be seen as a matter of perspective.
Having viewed the Paladin not as a man, but as a grateful person,
but Robert he truly saw as a man.
Could it be that just this sensation felt against his palm made him feel this embarrassed?
However, Adrian couldn’t think that deeply.
The sensation felt at his fingertips was so intense that it made him lose the composure he always maintained, if only for a moment.
His fingers fidgeted repeatedly, wrinkling Robert’s clothes.
Even though he could simply get up, Adrian’s cheeks turned red as he couldn’t remember that.
“I-I’m so sorry. I mean, please wait just a moment.”
“You can take your time getting up. It’s alright.”
Robert could somewhat guess why Adrian was reacting that way.
This situation wasn’t exactly normal, so it wasn’t unreasonable for him to be this flustered given the suddenness of it all.
His flushed face was proof of that.
Not viewing the Paladin as a man and touching a male body in such a way was likely a first for him.
Robert felt equally flustered, but he remained calm and tried to distance himself from Adrian.
Cautiously, and gently so as not to startle him, Robert reached out and held onto Adrian’s arm.
Their bodies, entwined, slowly returned to the right position.
The saint’s former room wasn’t very spacious, making the situation quite embarrassing.
As Adrian gradually regained his balance, he quickly wiped away the heat from his cheeks.
What a ridiculous scene this was.
Is that so?
In this situation, as a Saint, one should have handled things a bit more calmly.
“Thank you. I was so flustered.”
“I’m glad you didn’t scream. Otherwise, the priests might have misunderstood me.”
“I didn’t scream. And it’s true that the situation was… well, it was.”
Adrian, with a light touch on his cheek, replied.
For a moment, he took a deep breath while gently massaging his chest, and now, with a face that had lost its earlier heat, he quietly stared at Robert.
It felt like the pounding of his heart was oddly loud.
Fearing that this sound might be heard, he anxiously flicked his lips, recalling how Robert had fallen earlier.
“Are you hurt? It seemed like you fell while holding onto me.”
“I’m fine. Let’s get up now.”
Suddenly feeling warmth in his hand, he realized it was Robert’s.
He always felt this way, but it was so much larger than his own hand.
If he gripped it with one hand, his hand would completely disappear, fitting snugly within that broad palm.
Is this how all men’s hands are? It wasn’t like this in the past.
However, since meeting Robert, such thoughts seemed to sprout unbidden.
Perhaps it was since he saw Robert’s past.
What he saw in that vivid afterimage was the relationship between Robert and Miragen.
Both were his friends, yet he couldn’t shake off the uneasy feeling.
When Miragen smiled, Robert took her hand. Then, Robert whispered love into her ear while kissing her again.
It was a romantic story straight out of a fairy tale Lord Berod had read to him, yet facing it made him feel stuffy inside.
Miragen seemed incredibly happy.
Whenever she was with Robert, she smiled in a way he had never seen before, and Robert smiled just the same.
Maybe he’s just overthinking it.
Hadn’t he never really seen Robert’s face or felt it?
Yet, if Robert held onto Miragen’s memories, they must surely be his own.
In the colorless world, the man smiled at Miragen.
Sometimes promising love, sometimes shedding tears, sometimes smiling gently.
Adrian couldn’t see Robert’s expression in reality.
Since he couldn’t see it at all, he just grasped emotions by listening to his voice.
Yet, when he met him in memories, wasn’t he smiling?
Seeing that made his heart complicated, like a tangled ball of yarn.
The only thing he could genuinely face was his inner self.
However, even that felt like an empty void when viewing with the power granted by the God.
What Adrian could guess was only about that much.
“Do you have any worries?”
As he sat on the bed, Robert asked as he looked at Adrian’s ankle.
The Saint’s Divine Power couldn’t heal herself.
It was a blessing directly granted by God, usable only on others, not oneself.
Though one could say it was a power vastly different from the Paladins and Priests who could handle themselves, in the end, it was still a power that couldn’t heal his own wounds.
It seemed his ankle was slightly swollen from the fall, as a sharp pain shot through when he moved it.
But this kind of pain was familiar to Adrian.
Having fallen so often, he could easily tolerate this much.
It happened, so can’t I endure this much?
However, Robert’s gaze directed towards Adrian had a different reason.
For a brief moment, the embarrassment was there, but soon his shadowed face became a concern.
I had little to guess what thought made the atmosphere suddenly change right now.
Taking a deep breath in response to such a question, Adrian brightened up and spoke again.
“I have no worries. I just suddenly thought of something.”
“If it’s something urgent, I can take you there.”
“No, it’s not like I have to go right away. I can move now, so shall we move again?”
Being in this room complicates my thoughts.
With that feeling, as he opened his mouth, Robert grabbed Adrian’s hand again.
#
The inside of the cathedral was spacious, but the time explaining it passed very quickly.
It was like when you blink, and suddenly it becomes dawn; at one moment, Adrian let out a small laugh.
It was all just explaining the places they had wandered together every day. Yet, who would have thought time would pass this quickly?
Since Robert returned to the room, Adrian, left alone, had to head towards the Moon Tower.
However, he did not go.
The path he was taking was a place he could move around even without someone’s help.
There was a place where only the Saint could come and go.
If one isn’t chosen by God, they can’t even approach it.
As he stepped on the fine cracks on the floor, he felt the divine power beginning to drain from his body.
If he wasn’t confident, he would have to rely on the power of the relic to enter.
The power of the relic and his own power were entirely the same, as this power wrapped in secrecy was Adrian’s essence.
The divine power, obtained at the cost of losing his sight, was the key to enter this place. Thus, Adrian moved his steps towards the basement of the cathedral.
A chill seeped into his body. If Robert were here, wouldn’t he cover me with his cloak?
It was hardly a couple of acts of consideration, yet that emptiness felt strangely prominent.
When the chilly wind blew, he could see the faint light scattering in his closed eyes.
He wasn’t afraid. Hadn’t he often come here when he didn’t want to think?
With one hand against the wall, he took a step, and then Adrian felt the divine power returning to his body, prompting him to stop.
“Was it here?”
As he reached out in front of him, a large rosary hanging on the wall was brushed against.
This too was a type of relic.
It was a relic that could only be used by the Saint.
The reason he headed here today.
To put it simply, it was about a man he had recently met.
“…Robert.”
It hasn’t even been half a year since they met. They met at the imperial palace, and then on the street.
After that, it was only through a few contacts that they exchanged voices.
Perhaps the meeting at the Moon Tower was the longest one they had. From the start, he felt something a bit unusual.
He had unwittingly glimpsed into a heart emptied of emotions, facing the void where no feelings could be sensed.
He grew curious. Even when they met again, Robert’s attitude towards him remained the same.
With a gentle tone, just hearing that voice made him feel he could see him as a warmer person than anyone else.
I thought he might even be a warmer person than Kubota.
Yet, my heart remains empty. No matter how many times I looked, it was the same.
He looked like someone about to die, like someone who would disappear right in front of me, making me feel anxious.
So, I left a promise to meet next time, and didn’t he say he almost died in the North?
Adrian exhaled heavily with a small smile.
I had to be surprised when I first heard that story.
Hearing that someone I had been in contact with until a few days ago was dying made my heart race as I silently heard the Grand Duke’s voice scolding me.
-…Whether he comes himself or not, send a priest to the North. Someone who can save the dying person, right now.
The calm voice of the Grand Duke was filled with anger.
It was chilling, even more than openly losing his temper, and yet, Adrian seemed to understand that feeling faintly.
If a person, who felt anxious even being beside him, was that hurt, he too would have acted like the Grand Duke.
However, he couldn’t step forward. It was because of the name Saint.
If he suddenly disappeared from the Moon Tower, chaos could ensue, so he recalled the face of Lord Berod, who desperately tried to stop him, and slowly knelt on the floor.
The cold sensation touched his knees.
Hard and rough, he clasped his hands together and held the Rosario hanging around his neck as he looked up at the wall.
A feeling of regret arose. If he wasn’t a Saint, he could have gone to the North.
He could have healed him and watched over him without that anxious heart forever.
Such feelings created something intricate about the man named Robert.
That feeling blossomed as he reflected on Robert’s memories.
Watching Miragen smile at Robert, seeing Robert painfully die in front of his sister.
Standing alone in the empty snowy North, looking at Robert holding a masterless sword, such emotions had emerged.
Woooow-
The Rosario hanging on the wall resonated with Adrian’s divine power, white light bursting forth from his clasped hands.
The name of this newfound feeling, he didn’t know. He came here to find that out.
To dig into the fragmented memories Robert had shown, even if he could only see those snippets.
“If I see that… will I understand your heart a little?”
Emotions were rising again within Robert.
Instead of the ever-empty void, there was definitely a feeling peeking out and revealing itself.
Recalling the memories he had once neatly covered, Adrian smiled softly.
– It existed. But now, it’s probably gone… for good.
Sadness, loneliness, desolation.
Cold and dark, I try to understand a little of the inner self that only blooms with negative emotions.
What can I see from your memories?
In the basement of the cathedral, Adrian slowly surrendered his body to the emerging divine power.
It was to confront the memories held by Robert Taylor.
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