Episode 40
Gaeul desperately swiped her hands, even clawing with her nails, but her father’s grip around her neck didn’t loosen.
He seemed completely out of his mind, intoxicated and consumed by inferiority.
After a long time without breathing, Gaeul felt a sensation like her head was floating, beyond the pain.
She instinctively sensed it—the limit was near.
In her fading consciousness, Gaeul thought,
‘…Brother Taeyang. Will he be sad?’
Thud!
In that moment, a heavy thud sounded, and her father’s grip loosened.
“…Haak. Hak.”
Gaeul, freed like a falling leaf, gasped for air.
As oxygen flowed through her lungs, it felt like her stopped blood began to flow again.
Gaeul’s blurry pupils returned to normal, and she was confronted with the tragedy before her.
Her father, Yoo Dae-cheol, lay on the ground, bleeding from his head.
The blood trickled down, splattering on the floor and staining Gaeul’s hands.
And Gahyeon, panting heavily, was holding a collapsed rice table.
Blood was dripping from the edge of that table.
It was catastrophic.
Gaeul couldn’t bear the reality and fainted.
*
The lawyer, hired by TwoBear, said to Gaeul,
“The victim’s condition is very critical, so it won’t be easy. However, I’ll try my best to argue self-defense.”
Gaeul couldn’t fully grasp those words.
It wasn’t just a temporary lapse.
Since that incident occurred, Gaeul hadn’t been able to gather her thoughts even once.
It felt like she had been swept away by time to arrive at this moment.
Still, Gaeul tried her hardest to compose herself and asked,
“…What will happen to Gahyeon?”
Gaeul hoped they could avoid Gahyeon serving time in prison.
The lawyer shook his head sadly.
“It seems unlikely. Right now, judges are likely to view things unfavorably.”
She felt scared, as if she was about to be separated from Gahyeon.
Then, a short while later, the trial began.
The judge looked down at Gahyeon and asked,
“Are you reflecting on your crime?”
“….”
In the slight silence, Gahyeon replied, resolutely,
“I do not reflect.”
The lawyer sighed deeply.
Even without the lawyer saying anything, Gaeul quickly understood.
That statement would negatively impact Gahyeon.
However, Gahyeon boldly stated, as if she didn’t care about the consequences,
“If I were in that situation again, I would act the same way.”
“…Gahyeon.”
Gaeul could understand Gahyeon who spoke like that. After all, she was that kind of kid.
That stubbornness and rigidity not suited for her age were traits that Gahyeon possessed.
Gaeul cherished that side of Gahyeon.
Still, Gaeul wished Gahyeon would bow her head just this once.
“…I’m sorry. Older Sister.”
The verdict had been delivered.
Gahyeon was going to a juvenile detention center.
She couldn’t prevent that outcome.
Her father still hadn’t regained his senses after the blow to his head.
The family Gaeul had努力ed so hard to protect had crumbled so easily and swiftly.
Gaeul walked aimlessly.
Without knowing where she was going, she just kept walking.
It wasn’t until she entered the building and got on the elevator that Gaeul realized.
This was the place where Gaeul’s Father was hospitalized.
Even though she was aware, she shuffled her feet.
She knew there would only be her unconscious father waiting for her….
She passed through the wide hallway and entered a small hallway where the private rooms were gathered.
And there, she discovered Seon Taeyang sitting slumped with a weary expression in front of a hospital room.
“…Brother Taeyang?”
“…Gaeul!”
Taeyang stood up brightly before Gaeul.
His suit and dress shirt, usually crisp, were now soaked in sweat as if he had been running around for quite some time.
His hair, always neatly styled with pomade, was now tousled, creating a messy fringe.
“Are you okay? I was worried since I couldn’t reach you.”
He must have been searching high and low for her.
Running around to end up looking like that.
To Gaeul, Seon Taeyang looked so brightly shining.
That radiance was overwhelmingly bright. Almost too good for her.
Gaeul was certain.
Taeyang was someone too precious to be tied down to someone as impoverished and messy as her.
Because of that, Gaeul unexpectedly blurted out the words that had popped into her head.
“…Team Leader Seon, I’m sorry. I don’t think I can become an idol.”
‘Is there anything more to trouble Brother Taeyang? …Oh right, the contract money. The contract money exists.’
“I’ll pay back however much it takes, no matter how long it takes.”
Gaeul decided to pay it back even if it meant working four part-time jobs a day.
Taeyang looked at her earnestly, as if that money didn’t matter at all, and said,
“Is there anything I can do to change your mind?”
His voice, his gaze, were so warm.
“I want you to become an idol.”
Tears brimmed in Gaeul’s eyes, threatening to spill over.
Yet, she forced herself to hold them back and said,
“It seems difficult. This is simply a matter of my emotions.”
That was the truth. Since that incident, Gaeul hadn’t been able to sing.
It was true. After that incident, Gaeul couldn’t sing anymore.
“I’m uncomfortable laughing and singing in front of someone like this. My hands are shaking, and my head is spinning a bit… quite severely, actually.”
As Gaeul spoke, her hands were still trembling.
Taeyang gently brushed Gaeul’s hair and said, “I see. Then there’s nothing we can do. Just let me know if you ever need me.”
With that, Seon Taeyang disappeared.
Left alone in the hospital hallway, Gaeul quietly burst into tears.
And she softly repeated what she wanted to say.
“…I hope you’re happy, Brother Taeyang.”
She never called for Seon Taeyang after that. Not once.
*
A year passed.
Gaeul’s daily life returned to how it was before meeting Seon Taeyang.
Working four part-time jobs a day, her life felt like a never-ending cycle that only allowed her to return home at midnight.
To make that life bearable, to not feel pain, Gaeul dulled her emotions.
A year allowed her that.
But her life wasn’t entirely devoid of joy.
After finishing her part-time jobs, Gaeul watched AllTube on her budget smartphone on the way home.
It was a channel created by TwoBear Entertainment, which had become her most-watched lately.
This was her only source of joy that kept her life going after losing Gahyeon and her father.
The channel featured the daily lives, music videos, and self-produced content of the girl group that Taeyang had debuted.
Gaeul felt vicarious satisfaction watching that channel.
She was both happy and relieved to see Taeyang succeeding without needing someone like her.
Gaeul cheered for Taeyang.
Sometimes, she imagined herself being part of the girl group featured in the videos.
Each time she did, Gaeul shook her head, trying to forget those thoughts.
It was a path she had already moved past. A path she could never return to.
The four members shown in the videos were all talented and charming girls. Gaeul liked them.
Except for one.
“Team Leader Seon, I told you I drink vanilla latte! Why can’t you remember what I say every time? Change it for me!”
That girl named Park Jina just didn’t agree with her.
It bothered her how Jina always snapped back at Taeyang.
Taeyang didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.
“No, didn’t you say you drink banana latte? Do you want me to play the recording I made?”
“Uh… you recorded my voice? That’s a bit creepy.”
“…It’s because you keep changing your mind every time, isn’t it?”
If it had simply been an action fueled by dislike for someone named Taeyang, it could have been understood as a lack of professionalism. But it was different.
Gaeul could see it.
Park Jina was drawing Taeyang’s attention through such reactions.
It was perceived as very low quality behavior.
“I don’t care! I’m going to drink a vanilla latte!”
With that, Park Jina snatched a cup and took a sip from it off-screen.
Although it wasn’t captured on camera, Gaeul was sure that it was the drink that Taeyang had been enjoying.
She found herself unknowingly biting her nails as she watched the video.
After a brief skit ended, Park Jina, taking on the role of the MC, began to explain the content.
Today’s content seemed to revolve around Park Jina singing a cover song.
While listing the cover songs she would sing, Jina cleared her throat and began to introduce the session.
“For this cover song, we have a special session! Let’s not give a big applause, but rather welcome him with modest applause. Our Team Leader Seon!”
Then, Seon Taeyang appeared on screen, greeting awkwardly before taking his place at the piano.
Taeyang, grasping the piano two steps back, and Park Jina, holding the stand mic, preparing to sing—this was a very familiar scene.
The moment Gaeul saw it, it felt like her breath stopped.
To the smooth piano melody played by Seon Taeyang, Park Jina began to sing.
Glancing at Taeyang, Park Jina let out her voice as if she was absolutely enjoying it.
An unbearable sense of nausea washed over Gaeul.
Even though she had skipped breakfast and lunch, leaving her stomach empty, she felt bile rise.
A few people sharing the subway approached Gaeul, asking if she was okay.
“Are you alright, student?”
“Wait a minute. This friend is sweating too much! I’ll call the staff.”
Despite the surrounding attention, Gaeul’s eyes were glued to the video on her smartphone.
Amidst the growing melody, Park Jina and Seon Taeyang wore smiles that they couldn’t hide, seemingly enjoying the moment far too much.
Ah…
Ah…
That situation,
That position,
That seat next to him was…
“…That’s mine.”
It had to be hers.
“…No, it’s mine.”
Even if she couldn’t sing, even if the mere thought of going on stage made her tremble, even if deemed unnecessary, she had to stay, whether by effort or stubbornly making a fuss.
Gaeul would regret her inability to do so for the rest of her life.
Only now, far too late, had she come to realize her true feelings.
*
[‘Memory of Possibility’ has been completed!]
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