Episode 332
The Moon is Beautiful
Thump, thump.
Han Seo-Jin’s heart races.
Her face turns bright red.
Han Seo-Jin squeezes her eyes shut.
‘I can’t show such a sight to Him.’
She bites her lip.
The moon is beautiful.
At first glance, it seems like just a comment about the moon, but in Japanese, this phrase also means “I love you.”
It signifies that she loves you.
This was a line proposed by the famous Japanese novelist Natsume Soseki as the Japanese translation of “I love you.”
Of course, He must know the deeper meaning of that phrase.
Why those words came out just at this moment, even she couldn’t understand.
‘I’ve lost my mind. Han Seo-Jin… How dare a woman like me confess my feelings to Him…’
She loves Kim Deok-Sung.
This fact is an undeniable truth for Han Seo-Jin.
It’s even strange if there’s a woman who doesn’t fall for the perfect Him.
So, it is as natural as water flowing down for a mere woman like herself to love Him; it’s the law of the world.
However, loving Him and confessing those feelings to Him are two separate issues.
Being a hunter rather than a hero, she lacks the qualification to be His woman.
Unable to bear children, she also lacks the qualification to be His woman.
Therefore, she has no right to confess her feelings.
The only line she is allowed to draw is to gaze at Him from afar, supporting Him like a shadow in the darkness.
She mustn’t desire anything beyond that.
She thought so.
‘I’m so, so excited.’
Han Seo-Jin bites her lip.
She furrows her brows and scolds herself.
Today’s date is merely a mission.
It’s a special assignment where she stands in for Him for a Christmas date because it’s difficult for Him to designate a particular person for the date.
While the situation became a bit strange with the involvement of the harem plan candidates and the Undertaker crashing in, it is still a mission.
It’s proper to exclude personal feelings.
Thus, Han Seo-Jin thoroughly controlled her emotions.
She had to.
‘To fail in emotion control…’
But the control failed.
Thump, thump.
In fact, since entering the amusement park, no, ever since she received the date request right from Him…
Since receiving the date application coupon until now,
Han Seo-Jin’s heart hasn’t stopped.
Holding hands with him, riding amusement park rides together, spending time side by side, her feelings spread like wildfire.
Though she feels unworthy,
and still has a long way to go,
she still wants to stand by his side.
Unbeknownst to her, those words slipped out when Kim Deok-Sung had just spoken.
Kim Deok-Sung’s Harem Plan.
It was a plan being carried out for him, yet the intentions behind the harem plan had never been confirmed by Kim Deok-Sung himself, the very subject and beneficiary of the plan.
What if he thought poorly of the harem plan?
What if he went further and outright rejected it?
This was the biggest dilemma weighing on Han Seo-Jin recently.
Hence, confirming his thoughts on the harem plan was crucial for her; however, time never seemed to present itself.
He was always busy with other matters, including academy life.
Then, an opportunity came.
That’s why right now, as they were riding the Ferris wheel alone,
according to the strangely gentle rule that states only couples should ride the ferris wheel, the other heroines had stopped monitoring them, making it the only chance to ask about his thoughts on the harem plan.
With that thought in mind, Han Seo-Jin asked him.
[…I know, so I’ll be responsible for everything after the full-scale war with the League. I will.]
The reply was that he would take responsibility for all of them after the full-scale war with the League.
He neither thought poorly of the harem plan nor rejected it.
In fact, even before she brought up the harem plan, he had declared that he intended to take responsibility for everyone.
Since it was tantamount to him approving her plan, Han Seo-Jin should have been delighted upon hearing those words.
However, she couldn’t feel joy.
“Take responsibility for everyone.”
She realized she wasn’t included in that category.
Instinctively, Han Seo-Jin caught onto that fact.
It was an inferiority complex.
Her unworthiness manifested as a desire to intrude into his harem.
The statement “The moon is beautiful” was a confession stemming from that complicated emotional despair.
In a way, it was the first mistake Han Seo-Jin had made, despite always handling things perfectly.
And it was a fatal mistake.
‘…It’s all over.’
Han Seo-Jin closed her eyes.
Even if she claimed she was now talking about the actual moon, he wouldn’t believe her excuses.
That would only worsen the situation.
‘Now he’ll surely reject me.’
Han Seo-Jin bit her lip.
Rejection.
That was the conclusion she deemed obvious.
Compared to the dazzling girls around him, shining with talent and beauty, she felt she had nothing.
No abilities, not even a body capable of bearing children.
Her status wasn’t honorable either.
Someone like her had no qualification to stand by his side or love him openly.
It was overstepping boundaries, crossing the line by a long shot.
If he were to cast her away right now, she wouldn’t have a word to say.
But she felt terrified.
The thought of being separated from him, no longer being able to assist him, sent chills down Han Seo-Jin’s spine.
The fact that she was going to be separated from him, that she could no longer assist him, made Han Seo-Jin shiver in terror.
It was the salvation she had barely found. The one she had barely found to devote everything to.
To Han Seo-Jin, he was literally everything, the same as life itself.
Even now, having made a grave mistake, she didn’t want to be away from him.
No, she couldn’t be away.
‘How selfish is this thought?’
To wish to remain by his side even after making a serious mistake.
What a horrifyingly selfish idea.
Han Seo-Jin bit her lip as she thought so.
She clenched her eyes shut.
“…Well, thinking about it… I suppose it could be like that.”
His voice rang in her ears like a death sentence.
Now he would cast her aside.
At that thought, her vision blurred and her body trembled.
To lose everything because of a moment’s slip of the tongue.
Foolish.
Utterly foolish.
Han Seo-Jin’s gray eyes were turning real ash gray.
Just then, as she was berating herself…
“…You did say you’d take responsibility for everyone, right?”
Kim Deok-Sung’s voice reached her ears.
“Yes…”
Han Seo-Jin replied weakly.
There was no place for her among all of that.
Knowing that much, she still began to feel a shred of hope blossom in her selfish heart listening to his words, which disgusted her.
At the moment she bit her lip.
“You’re included in that too, Han Seo-Jin.”
A voice that made her doubt her hearing came through.
“Me… included?”
Han Seo-Jin’s eyes wavered.
Her gaze turned back to Kim Deok-Sung.
There he stood, a boy with black hair and black eyes, wearing the usual sharp expression that made it hard to read his thoughts.
Her idol.
Her master.
Her everything, the one who had taken her body and mind.
His gaze turned toward her.
You are included.
That phrase echoed endlessly in Han Seo-Jin’s mind.
“That’s right.”
The moment his affirmative answer returned from his lips.
Han Seo-Jin’s eyes trembled.
It couldn’t be true.
Just a mere Hunter, and he wants to take responsibility for her?
Perhaps he had lost his judgment.
If that’s the case, she needed to correct him.
She thought so and spoke up.
“I… I’ve… I’ve sullied my hands countless times while acting as a National Intelligence Service agent…”
“Doesn’t matter.”
Kim Deok-Sung interrupted her.
Han Seo-Jin shut her eyes.
No.
She still hadn’t reached her truth.
Han Seo-Jin bit her lip.
Thump, thump.
She needed to confess her most significant secret.
She had to reveal her entire self.
Then, perhaps, his blurry judgment might return to clarity.
It hurt, but there was no helping it.
Han Seo-Jin clenched her eyes tightly.
She felt the agonizing pain as if hundreds of blades were being stabbed into her heart.
Gritting her teeth, Han Seo-Jin spoke with a trembling voice.
“I… became unable to have children due to a gate exploration incident that happened during my time as a Hunter under the name Han Yu-jeong…”
“Because of the conquest accident, I became unable to have children…”
“What does that matter?”
Kim Deok-Sung cuts her off.
Han Seo-Jin’s face goes pale.
“Excuse me?”
She responds with a foolish expression.
“What does it matter? Whether your name is this or that, whether you’re infertile or not, it has nothing to do with me. We’re already in a situation where I said I would take responsibility, so adding you into the mix won’t change much.”
Kim Deok-Sung’s gaze is directed out the window.
The giant Ferris wheel has already gotten quite close to the ground.
Soon, their private time will end.
“More than anything, you…”
Kim Deok-Sung trails off.
He says, “…It changed because of me, so you are someone I have to take responsibility for.”
Someone to take responsibility for.
Hearing those words, tears stream down Han Seo-Jin’s face.
She thought it would be unacceptable.
She thought someone like her could never enter his harem.
But he, that merciful and broad-minded man, accepted even someone as lowly as herself into his harem.
He declared his firm intention to take responsibility for her too.
The fact is so moving.
The fact is so overwhelmingly joyful that tears fall from Han Seo-Jin’s eyes.
She bows her head in that moment.
“I understand, Mr. Kim Deok-Sung. Thank you for granting me even a position as a concubine or mistress. I, Han Seo-Jin, will devote myself from now on to repay even a fraction of your ocean-like grace, and I will dedicate myself to serving you even more.”
She swears her loyalty with a voice that comes from the heart.
Hearing that, Kim Deok-Sung lets out a sigh.
He says, “Sure, do as you wish.”
“Understood!”
Han Seo-Jin nods along with his words.
Tap.
Just in time, the cabin arrives at the ground, and the operation of the Ferris wheel ends.
With that, their planned Christmas date course with the heroines also comes to a close.
Thump-thump.
Her heart races.
Today has been Han Seo-Jin’s unforgettable, best Christmas of her life.
*
Despite various incidents in between, the Christmas date ended on a good note.
After wrapping up with a Christmas party featuring chicken and cake at Tokyo Death Land, I returned to the dormitory guided by Han Seo-Jin.
I lay my exhausted body on the bed.
The scene of snow falling heavily outside reflects on the campus.
Anyway, I’m glad everything ended well.
With the Christmas event over, winter vacation is soon approaching.
And a few days later will be the New Year’s holiday, right?
New Year’s holiday.
In this damn light novel world, I’ll be celebrating the end of the year.
I never thought I’d be here for so long.
At that moment, while I was lost in such pointless thoughts.
Bzzzt.
My phone rings.
A signal notifying me of a new message.
I turn on my phone and check the message.
[Kim, do you have some time around New Year’s?]
[If you do, want to come over to my house?]
The message was from Yuji.
It was an invitation to his house.
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