“Is your older sister unemployed?”
It was an abrupt question.
Sitting on the empty swing in the deserted playground, staring blankly at the sky, this was a rather out-of-place inquiry.
Who are they talking to? There’s no one here.
As I was pondering this, I realized that the ‘older sister’ mentioned in the voice might just be me, and I turned my head in the direction of the sound.
It was a small girl.
She was probably the one asking the question, a cute little girl fitting the tone of the voice.
She looked to be around the lower elementary school age. Judging by her petite stature, she seemed to be about 10 or 11 years old.
But I couldn’t be sure. Kids these days grow much taller and faster than they did back in my day.
Thinking she might even be a preschooler, I made eye contact with her.
“Where did your mother go?”
Her voice was kind and gentle.
The softness of her voice made even me, the one who spoke it, momentarily stiffen and tremble.
Come to think of it, I had always shown a strangely weak side around kids. I used to deliberately clear my throat and adjust my voice so it wouldn’t be deep enough to scare them.
Now, should I laugh or cry at the fact that I don’t need to do that anymore?
Before I could come to a conclusion about my mixed feelings, the little girl in front of me smiled brightly and answered.
“I don’t have a mom!”
Oh dear.
Looks like I stepped on a landmine.
*
“Uh, um… yeah. Uh…”
I’ve never been particularly skilled at communicating with people. In fact, I’d say I’m rather lacking in that department. You’d feel the conversations break up rather than flow smoothly.
Although I’ve managed to reach a point where I can communicate online through the internet, my conversation skills were still absolutely hopeless.
Having unintentionally made a blunder in such a delicate situation, I had no idea how to respond appropriately.
My tongue felt stiff. What should I say?
Looking into the child’s pure, dark eyes, I unconsciously squeezed my own shut.
Well, there’s no turning back now. I might as well dive right in and think-.
“Um, but it’s okay. Even if you don’t have a mom, you still have a grandmother and an uncle. Si Hyun just needs her grandma and uncle!”
But the girl was more mature than I had anticipated. She seemed to instinctively pick up on my embarrassment and quickly responded that it was okay.
Just looking at it, that was the case.
It made me think that the heart that considers others is admirable, but at the same time, I felt uncomfortable with how mature the child seemed.
I could only offer an awkward smile while watching the child. Still, the child kept smiling brightly at me.
“…Is your name Si Hyun?”
“Yes, Han Si Hyun. That’s my name.”
What a pretty smiling child. If her parents weren’t around, you’d expect some dark shadow over her face, yet I couldn’t find even a hint of it.
I couldn’t be that composed. I remembered a time when I was so busy crying for years I seemed to have forgotten how to smile.
As I reminisced about my contrasting past, Si Hyun puffed up her cheeks, looking dissatisfied.
“Why, what’s wrong?”
“What about you, older sister?”
“Hmm?”
As if she didn’t understand my confusion, Si Hyun let out her words with puffed cheeks.
“Your name, older sister. I told you my name first, so you have to tell me yours!”
“Oh, right. Sorry. I forgot for a moment.”
Even at her young age, she already understood the rules of self-introduction. I thought she was quite mature for her age, but she was clever too.
“My name is Mun Ah. My surname is Mun, and my name is Ah.”
“? Your name is one character?”
Looks like this was her first time seeing a single-character name. I informed the tilting-headed Si Hyun that such names do exist in this world.
“Then should I call you Ah Older Sister? That sounds a bit awkward.”
“You can call me with my surname too.”
Honestly, it felt just as awkward to me. Not just the name, but having someone call me ‘older sister’ was something I’d never experienced before.
But it was something I had to get used to someday. I just never expected that the first person to address me that way would be a little kid I met at the playground.
I thought of it as a practice run. It was better than being shocked later when someone calls me ‘older sister.’
After finishing the introduction, Si Hyun threw me another question.
“Mun Ah, are you unemployed?”
Back to square one.
Why on earth is she curious about that?
“Do you think I’m unemployed?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you think that?”
As if she had been waiting for my question, Si Hyun responded.
“Since you’ve been in the playground at this time since last time. Other people are supposed to be going to school or work. My grandmother said those kinds of people are all unemployed.”
Not long ago, I started making a habit of going outside for a short walk every morning to lead a healthier lifestyle. This playground was part of that walking route.
“Well, unless something special comes up, I usually wake up between 10 and 11 AM… If Si Hyun saw me often, she might think I’m just a NEET.
“….”
But honestly, it wasn’t just a misunderstanding.
After all, I hadn’t been streaming for even a month yet.
I’ve been seeing some growth, but this gig isn’t exactly stable, and my income is still up in the air.
And more than that, my life before and after streaming hasn’t changed all that much. The only difference is whether I switch the broadcast on or off while playing Abyss. Everything else is just like my NEET days.
So, I really couldn’t confidently say, “Hey, I’m not a NEET, okay?” I wasn’t even in a position to call myself a proper streamer yet.
But on the other hand, I couldn’t completely admit to being a NEET when I thought about the sneaky efforts I’d put in.
Like making an effort to communicate more with viewers or searching through the latest internet humor, I didn’t want to feel like those efforts were wasted by labeling myself a NEET.
So, my answer came out like this.
“I’m a freelancer.”
“A freelancer?”
“Um, it means I work freely? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t, and I work whenever I want.”
I wasn’t sure if that was a correct description, but that’s how I felt as a freelancer.
It’s true when I want to stream, I can switch it on or off, so it wasn’t really wrong.
“Really? So you’re not a NEET?”
“More importantly, do you know what a NEET is, Si Hyun?”
“Yeah, my uncle is a NEET!”
“Oh….”
Listening to Si Hyun, it seemed our daily patterns weren’t that different from my uncle’s.
Both of us tend to be out wandering around at this hour, so Si Hyun thought I was just another NEET like her uncle.
“What does a freelancer do? Because my uncle needs to work. Grandma keeps sighing about him all the time.”
What does a freelancer do, huh…
After pondering Si Hyun’s question for a moment, I touched upon the core aspects of streaming.
“The fields are diverse, but I work at making people happy. I meet various people and talk about common topics, chatter, and have fun… Yeah, that kind of work.”
“Making people happy….”
Si Hyun paused for a moment, looking at my face as she got lost in thought.
“And that suits you, unnie.”
“Huh?”
“You’re pretty, so when people see you, they feel good, right?”
What is this kid talking about right now?
Si Hyun’s words really showed her pure innocence.
Her eyes didn’t waver at all, and her tone was so casual, it was like she was stating the obvious.
Ironically, I was left speechless. I turned my head away from Si Hyun, and my earlobes were hot.
“Si Hyun, let’s head inside!”
That’s when I heard a deep male voice from afar.
As soon as Si Hyun heard that voice, her ears perked up like a rabbit’s, and she grabbed my hand, shaking it up and down excitedly.
“Ah, Unnie. Uncle is calling! I have to go in now. You’ll come to the playground often, right?”
“Uh, uh-huh….”
Our held hands were warm.
The warmth from the person I hadn’t seen in a while felt like the unique warmth of a child.
“Then see you next time, I’m off!”
In this aspect, you could say she was quite scattered-brained for a child.
Before I knew it, Si Hyun had darted off.
I stood there for a few minutes, feeling the warmth left in my hand, replaying her earlier words in my mind.
“It’s fitting…”
Si Hyun had said that it’s fitting for me to make people feel good.
*
So, having had that strange encounter in the morning, I couldn’t help but turn on the broadcast as soon as I got home.
People, the viewers, were feeling a strong desire to watch today.
Would people really feel good looking at me, watching my broadcast, as Si Hyun said?
Would they find solace through my stream after a tough day?
With those thoughts, I opened the broadcast, and viewers immediately started flocking in.
They began to greet me through the chat.
[What is happening first thing in the morning?]
[Kayak! Kayak! Kayak! Kayak! Kayak! Kayak!]
[Here comes my adult content, here comes my adult content, here comes my adult content, here comes my adult content,]
[Ugh… a hardworking sister from the morning, ugh… a hardworking sister from the morning… ugh… a hardworking sister from the morning]
[Please turn the mic on, please turn the mic on, please turn the mic on]
[Is that guy going to be on?]
The viewers’ responses weren’t exactly what I’d imagined.
But just like Si Hyun said, I could feel that people were feeling good and glad to see me.
For the first time in a while, I looked at the chat without feeling overwhelmed and instead smiled brightly.
“Hello. Good morning!”
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