220th Chapter
Alicia’s eyes sparkled wide open.
The vast Party Hall reflected in her retinas.
A magnificent chandelier positioned at the center of the ceiling, walls painted with a golden hue, and decorations as beautiful as jewels.
And the flashy outfits that made students, who usually wore uniforms, look like completely different people.
Freely mingling while eating and drinking, this was Alicia’s second banquet in her life.
“Looks like you’re not making a fuss this time, huh?”
Vargan said to Alicia, who couldn’t take her eyes off the scene.
Even during her entrance ceremony, she exaggeratedly exclaimed about it being heaven or something, but now she seemed quite calm.
…No, she was trying hard to be calm.
“As the young master’s servant, I must maintain decorum.”
“Your voice is higher than usual.”
“Is, is that so? I’ll fix it.”
“Forget it. Today marks the end of your first year at the Academia. Just this once, I won’t scold you for being a bit too excited.”
Time had flown by just like that.
From today, the first-year students would complete a year-long course.
Though winter break was still ahead, starting next year, they would be second-year students, and new juniors would be entering.
Alicia was aware of this, but thinking about it again suddenly felt significant.
“To think that I will become a senior…. I must strive even harder to set a good example for the juniors coming in.”
“I appreciate that mindset, but in terms of results, well… um, I’ll leave that to your discretion. And….”
“Why do you say that?”
Vargan extended his finger and pointed at Alicia’s wrist.
She had a fluffy white bracelet around her wrist.
“You’re trying hard to be calm, but that little one seems to be having a tough time.”
“Eh? Ah, ahh…!”
The fluffy creature Alicia was wearing suddenly revealed a tiny black nose and eyes, quickly leaping away.
It was a white ferret-like familiar that had escaped from her.
In the dazzling spectacle, it started hopping around as if it owned the place.
With its slim and long body, it was quite fast.
“Y-young Master…! I’m really sorry, but may I go after it for just a moment? I’ll be right back!”
“It seems you must. Just be careful not to cause a ruckus while bringing it back.”
“Thank you, Young Master! …Wait up! Swallow!”
Alicia, who had been all about propriety just moments ago, dashed away in a flurry.
It was quite the sight to see her pulling her long dress as she ran, struggling a bit due to her high heels, making it even more entertaining.
Vargan watched Alicia with a small smile.
“You’ve sure chosen a rather mischievous familiar.”
Alicia’s first familiar, obtained in exchange for capturing a professor from the Goddess Church.
By the way, the name ‘Swallow,’ which she referred to her familiar, was given by Vargan.
To be fair, it was named Swallow since it was a ferret and a bit of a trickster.
“…….”
Standing beside them was Erica.
Without saying a word, she nervously gripped the hem of Vargan’s clothing.
“Hmm?”
As Vargan noticed the tug, a middle-aged man approached at just the right moment.
His striking red hair falling to his shoulders and one eye covered by an eye patch made quite the impression.
He extended his hand for a handshake.
“It’s about time I get to see a famous figure from the Academia up close. Nice to meet you, Vargan. I’m Kello.”
“I know. It’s an honor to finally meet you, Sir Kello.”
“Oh, this friend has more manners than I expected.”
The phrase ‘more than I expected’ was a bit irksome, but Vargan masked it with a social smile.
After all, he knew exactly who he was dealing with.
“What brings someone as esteemed as the 8th place Hero Ranking holder to me?”
“Now that you point it out, I feel a bit embarrassed. Well, I suppose being 8th place is respectable, but compared to Helion or Ferangis who came with me, I didn’t want to bring it up myself.”
After the Dortmund incident, Helion had jumped to 6th place.
Ferangis firmly held onto 2nd place.
Indeed, in comparison, Kello’s ranking was lower, but being 8th out of hundreds of heroes was still an impressive feat.
Those who fall into single digits are treated as entirely different beings from other heroes after all.
It was like this.
Vargan playfully flattered Kello enough to keep his spirits high, and Kello looked positively ecstatic.
As it was written in the original, he was weak to compliments.
Kello, rubbing his nose, revealed why he had addressed Vargan.
“I was curious when I heard you were the one and only disciple of Helion. I saw you perform well in the tournament. You fought remarkably well, even in that condition.”
Kello was tapping his eye patch.
It seemed he felt some sort of kinship with the fact that he couldn’t see.
Kello continued with his questions.
“I heard you got caught by Altife… Do you remember what kind of guy he was?”
“Altife…?”
“Yes. If he was capable of stealing the eye of a prospective hero like you, a cardinal or top-tier bishop must… Hm. Judging by your expression, it seems my information was off.”
“Yes. Altife is nothing but baseless nonsense. I don’t know where you heard it, but I’m just taking a break for other reasons.”
“Really?”
Kello scratched his prickly chin.
Then he subtly turned his body towards the direction where he wasn’t wearing the eye patch and gazed into the distance.
“I heard it from a female student who was watching you closely over there… Then again, if you were close, there wouldn’t be a need for that level of observation.”
He shrugged as if to say, “What does it matter?”
If he hadn’t been caught by Altife, it was a good thing, and he hoped for a quick recovery.
Vargan had an inkling of who that female student was, but he didn’t dig deeper.
‘If there’s a reason, I’m sure she’ll come looking later.’
Vargan set aside his curiosity about the female student. Instead, he asked about Kello, which wasn’t mentioned in the original.
“What happened to Kello’s right eye?”
“Oh, this? It’s nothing special. Like other heroes, I got caught by Altife.”
“It seems you encountered a rather strong individual. Was it someone at the level of a cardinal?”
“Well, it’s been so long that I can’t really remember.”
“You can’t remember?”
“Oh, it’s not that I was caught by a cardinal who eats memories, so don’t get the wrong idea. I just have so many wounds that I can’t remember each one.”
“…I see.”
He hadn’t even met Cardinal Gamigin…
No matter how one looks at it, not remembering after losing an eye doesn’t make sense—but Vargan showed a nod of acceptance for now.
This aspect was also just like in the original.
“Anyway, have a good time. Life as a hero is tough. Even if you’re bogged down by tests and assignments during your student days, those times are usually the best. Well… it seems you’re already making the most of it anyway.”
Kello glanced at Erica, who was tightly next to Vargan, before leaving.
Coming quickly and leaving just as fast made it seem like he was just there to get acquainted.
‘The eighth-ranked hero Kello… He was definitely cut in half and killed by Archbishop Sabnak when he faced Cardinal Gamigin’s forces.’
It wasn’t a fair fight; he was caught while tending to his wounded comrade, but in the end, the outcome was the outcome.
Perhaps in the near future, they would meet again under changed circumstances.
“……”
“Erica, let’s find a quieter place for now.”
Vargan moved for Erica, who had been especially quiet just moments ago.
This place, too crowded with people, was the worst place for her right now. Finding a slightly quieter spot to catch her breath seemed wise.
Feeling sorry for her, Erica couldn’t lift her head in response to Vargan’s considerate attitude.
* * *
“Don’t wander off on your own. If you do that again, I’ll really scold you.”
In a corner of the party hall, Alicia was holding onto the familiar.
In the end, she was giving a sort of stern lesson to the Swallow, which had returned to her wrist.
A somewhat rare sight, Alicia’s eyebrows were raised.
—Pew…
The Swallow made a weak attempt at a remorseful sound.
In the form of a bracelet, its eyes and mouth were hidden, but it looked rather downcast.
Having successfully prevented the Swallow’s escape, Alicia surveyed the area, looking for Vargan.
She figured it might take longer than expected, so it might be better to search for his mana.
In that thought, while looking for Vargan’s mana among the countless flows, she was interrupted by a male student approaching her.
“That dress suits you very well.”
“Mr. Gaba….”
“It seems you’ve parted ways with your companions for a moment. Such opportunities are rare.”
The sturdy-bodied Gaba had seized the moment perfectly.
It wasn’t intentional, but as he searched, it just happened that way. One could say he was lucky.
“I couldn’t secure the first place in the tournament due to my lack of strength. I wanted to stand proudly before you, but alas, I couldn’t, so please forgive me.”
“Ah… no… you don’t have to think so at all.”
“Still so cold, huh. Is it because of Vargan?”
“Why is the Young Master suddenly here…?”
“Well, Alicia, you know best.”
“……”
Unable to find a suitable response, Alicia gently lowered her head and began to retreat.
She felt that continuing the conversation with Gaba would lead to topics better left unsaid.
He felt that if he continued to speak, he might inadvertently bring up things that shouldn’t be said.
“Wait a moment. I won’t take much of your time. In fact, today might be our last opportunity to have this conversation, so I hope you can grant me a little leeway.”
“……”
At Gaba’s persistent request, Alicia halted her steps.
It was partly due to her innate tendency to not refuse a request, but it felt better to sort everything out right here and now.
That was the conclusion she reached.
“I know there’s no emptiness in your heart. The closer I get, the more you’ll try to push me away. Moreover, that master of yours, whom I saw in the arena, is truly powerful. A clear victory over Arterion, no less…”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I’m saying I lost.”
Gaba forced a smile, but his tail was down, revealing the sadness underneath.
“I don’t have anything compared to your master. No family, no wealth, no honor, not even strength.”
“……”
“So, I was trying to at least possess a bit of that elusive assertiveness that he has. If my actions have been a burden on your heart, I apologize, even belatedly. …I should probably stop with this mismatched speech. I’m really sorry.”
As he changed his speech, his previously lowered tone naturally rose.
He understood it was meaningless, yet he maintained the concept, but it would be uncool to insist on it until the very end.
Seeing Gaba’s demeanor change, Alicia straightened herself and faced him properly.
Gaba honestly expressed the feelings he had harbored from the moment he first saw Alicia up until now.
Intense emotions he had never felt before.
Rich experiences concentrated within a short time.
Gaba spoke briefly yet concisely about everything that had occurred. Alicia listened attentively, absorbing every word without distraction.
“…I liked you that much. Even now, I do. …But I’m going to stop.”
He mentioned Vargan.
The one who boldly claimed first place in the tournament.
As he considered Vargan’s strength, Gaba realized he had been underestimating him all along.
It was questionable whether anyone could reach that level even after years of training.
He had already been outclassed in every aspect, and now he felt overshadowed in strength as well.
It seemed only natural for Alicia to have feelings of respect and affection for him, so he decided to let her go, despite trying desperately to hold on.
If asked whether he had no lingering feelings, he could honestly say that he still had some, but it felt like it would be better for Alicia if he let go.
While tasting a bitter afterthought, Gaba awkwardly smiled as he inquired about her intentions. In a way, even this question could be seen as a lingering attachment.
“When are you planning to express your feelings to him?”
“……”
Alicia quietly surveyed her surroundings.
As long as they weren’t overheard, it seemed fine to speak a bit louder.
Honestly, she thought that if she played dumb or didn’t respond, she might just get away with it.
However, she didn’t want to display any pretenses to Gaba, who had shown her his genuine self.
So, she slowly parted her pale pink lips.
“That’s something that will never happen. Confessing my feelings to him would be nothing short of a crime.”
“A crime? That’s quite a dramatic expression. If it’s about status, then you needn’t worry. That old-fashioned idea ends the moment you become a hero.”
Heroes do not use titles.
They refer to each other by their names, using informal language as a principle.
That’s why both Academia and Rikeion advocate for equality; it is built into the very structure of being a hero.
Gaba pointed this out as he continued.
“There are many cases where heroes fall in love after becoming heroes. It’s common for a noblewoman who’s never gotten dirt under her fingernails to fall for a hero who’s toiling in the fields.”
“My situation is different from theirs.”
“Why? Is it because it was a contract from the start? Or… is it because of his fiancée?”
“…No.”
Alicia shook her head.
Gaba calmly waited for her to speak, and Alicia continued to ponder.
She had never disclosed such feelings to anyone before.
Although she had reluctantly nodded and acknowledged her affection for Vargan when Emily persistently asked, that had been the extent of it.
Even then, she had firmly stated that confessing to him was as likely as the sky splitting in two, leaving only external reasons for her hesitation.
‘But… Gaba, you’ve gone this far for me…’
The agony of dilemma grew stronger. What should she do?
…In the end.
Alicia let out a slow breath as if putting down a heavy burden for a moment.
She began to sincerely unveil her true feelings.
“…Gaba, have you ever gone days without eating even a piece of bread?”
“Bread?”
Alicia’s unexpected sentence piqued curiosity in Gaba.
“I have. When I was not even ten years old. I once dug graves just to comfort the villagers.”
“……”
Without eating anything, barely drinking.
Digging with a broken farming tool, she buried bodies along with flowers.
Days… Weeks… Months….
Time passed, yet young Alicia’s nose remained numb to the stench.
was still paralyzed by the stench.
All she could see in her eyes were the white maggots swarming over the corpses.
“Not to mention bread, all the grains had burned to ashes. If there hadn’t been any water left in the well, I would have died. Looking back now, I’m glad it wasn’t poisoned.”
Listlessly, like a machine moving in oil.
At that time, Alicia was just repeating the act of creating graves.
“But… do you know that even when all the villagers had died, I desperately needed a piece of bread? I didn’t care if it was hard or smelly. I just wanted to stuff anything into my belly.”
Alicia didn’t want Gaba to empathize with her hard life.
That was just background for understanding; what she wanted to say was about to begin.
“Then I was rescued by my foster mother, and I got to eat a meal after a long time. I lived off the food from my new mother. But… do you know what’s terrifying…?”
“What’s terrifying?”
“A few weeks later, I realized I was comparing the quantity and taste of the meals I was getting.”
The bread she put in her mouth after such a long time was a delicacy that made her forget it was old.
However, as time passed and her belly filled,
Alicia began to miss the warm bread and soup she had shared with her family in the past, contrasting it with the hard bread.
As if that past self was terrifying, Alicia frowned and said,
“Isn’t it ridiculous? To be more greedy just because I’m a little full. I’m living off someone else’s kindness.”
“……”
Gaba, who thought this was a very natural human sentiment, remained silent and listened to her words.
What she was getting at, in the end, was desire.
“I’m indulging in luxuries I’ve never imagined before. And I’m grateful for the Young Master who provides this, spending my days happily. …But sometimes I get scared. I fear I might become so accustomed to this happiness that I’ll grow greedier. I might become less thankful to the Young Master.”
Alicia felt afraid of losing the very happy ‘moment’ she was experiencing.
Losing her respect and gratitude toward Vargan.
Losing the preciousness of little daily joys.
Changing her relationships with those around her.
It was almost terrifying.
“So I won’t be greedy anymore. I mustn’t. I’m happy and satisfied as I am now. All I aspire to is the achievement of strength and the bright future of the Young Master. That’s enough.”
Greed knows no bounds.
So Alicia let go.
Not expressing her feelings to Vargan.
There were many external factors at play, but internally, it existed for this reason.
Gaba, having heard Alicia’s somewhat heavy truth, finally decided to speak up after holding his tongue for so long.
Gaba was a man who always faced others without distortion.
“But ultimately, as time passes, all situations change.”
“……”
“You’ll adapt even if you don’t want to, and you’ll change even if you don’t want to. No matter how much you try to stay still, the environment will change on its own, and it will change you.”
“But….”
“Alicia, the reason I pursued you a bit excessively was that you became a variable that shocked my life.”
“……”
“The shock changed my values, and I made choices without regrets within that change. Even if the results differ from what I originally wanted, I have no regrets.”
The path that Alicia was trying to choose was not about maintenance.
In a changing world, the concept of ‘maintenance’ cannot exist.
“Alicia, are you sure you won’t regret the choice you’re making now in the future?”
Gaba looked at Alicia with utmost seriousness.
Realizing he had empathized too much with her, he tried to ease the mood with a playful smile.
After all, a proposal and a demand are distinctly different.
“…Well, honestly, if you just come into my arms without changing your choice, I wouldn’t mind.”
“……”
Alicia, lost in thought.
His jest didn’t reach her ears.
She loved Vargan.
However, it wouldn’t bear fruit.
That was already a conclusion her heart had cleanly reached, and she thought it would no longer waver.
But then.
‘…This shouldn’t be happening.’
Alicia’s heart was in turmoil.
The impure thoughts she shouldn’t be having made her heart race.
She kept wanting to be greedy and reveal her honest feelings to him.
This was clearly Gaba’s fault. Why throw another stone into the lake that had just calmed down? She didn’t want to think about it, but it automatically came to mind.
‘This can’t be….’
At that moment, most of the lights in the party hall went out, and all the light gathered in the center of the hall.
Alicia lowered her head so that others couldn’t see her expression.
The sudden darkness made even Gaba, who was right in front of her, unable to properly capture her appearance.
‘It’s really not okay to want to connect with the Young Master….’
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