“I thought there was a chance you’d be late when I heard you were participating in the festival. But coming in now is a bit much, don’t you think?”
You must know too.
It’s quite funny that this situation is picking on you simply for coming back late.
I’m not a child; what’s the big deal about coming back at dawn?
There was no need to decipher Yuria’s intentions.
It was simply that she was annoyed at the moment our eyes met because I didn’t please her.
If that’s not it, perhaps she’s just looking to pick on me for some reason.
I know this assumption is not the norm, but that’s just Yuria’s character as my sister.
Arrogant and aloof.
Because of that, she often looks down on those who don’t meet her standards.
There’s no way she’d look kindly on me, who never caught her eye since childhood.
Back in the day, I did whatever I could to please her…
But now, I had no such feelings left.
If she was going to hate me, it was better to fully accept that feeling.
What I’ve realized after dying a hundred times is that Yuria and I are beings that can never coexist.
“Is that so?”
“It’s not ‘is that so.’ I’m asking if you have any sense of responsibility at all. Don’t you know today’s full moon ceremony is your father’s responsibility? If he’s busy, shouldn’t you and I step up—”
“I’m not quite sure what you mean by ‘step up.’ You’ve taken away all my rights, haven’t you?”
The Lady of the House directly. At her quietly spoken words, Yuria’s eyes narrowed.
Even though I remember it, what I can’t recall is that I told her that much.
It was Yuria who took away my rights as a member of the Taylor family.
That’s why I’ve been looked down upon by attendants in this Ducal Residence.
Have I forgotten all about it since it was never brought up before?
As I stared at her with an expressionless face, Yuria clicked her tongue and responded.
“You don’t really think just because your rights were taken away that you’re no longer a member of the Taylor family, do you? And the blame for that is largely on you, anyway.”
My fault. Thinking back, that was because I came back late which caused the rights to disappear.
What’s she going to say to me this time? Honestly, I didn’t want to hear it.
If I just listened, it would be a pointless emotional loss for me, so my only thought was to apologize once and leave.
“Very well. I was wrong.”
“…What?”
“I’m apologizing for coming back late. I’m sorry for causing you unnecessary worry. I will be more careful to return earlier next time.”
“I never worried about it.”
That’s not my concern.
I knew she wouldn’t care, so for now, all I wanted was to go back to my room and rest.
After saving Arwen and worrying about Adele in the process, I was feeling mentally and physically exhausted.
If emotions were touched on, my sharp feelings might just burst out.
So, I bowed my head, apologized as politely as I could, and turned to leave.
I turned around.
I didn’t need to talk long with Yuria.
What I encountered today was quite surprising, but that was about it.
That’s what I thought.
“Indeed, a son cherished by mother.”
…If I hadn’t heard that, I would’ve just returned to my room.
The fact that the name ‘mother’ echoed in my ears stopped me in my tracks.
“Always raised you with such care, yet you still haven’t realized your duty. Too busy worrying about your own matters, that you don’t even think about the family. Is it true that love makes you resemble each other?”
“Lady of the House.”
I always tried to make a rational judgment, but this time, I couldn’t do that.
I know that Yuria also understands what the name ‘mother’ means to me.
And that the sound of her saying it, despite knowing it’s a sore spot for me, wasn’t accidental.
In that moment, my teeth clashed with a sound.
I knew she was trying to provoke me into anger.
If I showed no reaction, she would only look at me with pity.
I understood that her words and actions were meant to taunt me.
But still, there are lines people shouldn’t cross.
No matter how much I despise it, no matter how much I abhor it.
There are names one shouldn’t utter.
“You’ve always been like this. Whenever there’s even a slight disadvantage, you run away. So now you’re running away like this, aren’t you?”
Yuria disliked my mother for a long time.
She said my mother was overly lighthearted and cheerful compared to Taylor’s atmosphere, which she didn’t like.
Even though she was the one who gave birth to her, the family was less precious to Yuria than her lineage.
Maybe her dislike for me was because she resembled my mother’s character.
That would be a rather childish reason, though.
When I turned my head, Yuria met my gaze with a slightly surprised expression.
I wasn’t sure what my expression looked like right now. But it was definitely funny.
It was probably the first time I showed her a furious expression in this round.
The corners of my lips twisted in a sardonic smile.
If I looked in the mirror, my eyes would probably be bloodshot.
The heat that rose from my chest filled my head.
If I spoke, some pretty vulgar curses would come out.
But I held that back.
If I let my emotions explode here, I would only be falling into her provocation.
I remembered something my father once said.
A noble must become even more courteous the angrier they get.
“Do you feel refreshed saying that?”
“…What?”
“I asked if insulting your own mother and belittling my sibling makes you feel a little better.”
“Robert Tae-”
“If that is what the Lady of the House wishes, then I would naturally comply.”
I could feel the temperature of this corridor gradually drop.
If either of us slips up even a bit, it felt like the frozen thorns would stab each other and blood would flow, warning me.
But that’s fine. Bleeding was, after all, what I was most confident in.
“…I haven’t permitted you to continue speaking to me.”
“I didn’t do it.”
Yuria replied in a subdued voice.
Her cold, hardened gaze pierced through me like ice that seemed ready to shatter.
It was the very gaze I had once feared so much.
In the past, having her look at me like that while cursing me, accusing me of insulting Taylor, was the scariest thing imaginable.
Now, it didn’t matter at all. She was simply a woman.
She held the title of Lady of the House, but the name Taylor was no longer precious to me.
So, I didn’t look away. Instead, I met her eyes and opened my mouth sarcastically.
“Is that so? I had no idea.”
“I never thought you would become so rude. Didn’t you learn your lesson last time? I see you’ve let it go to your head because you caught my father’s eye for a moment. Right now, I’m the one responsible for this Ducal Residence.”
“I know. That’s why I’m showing you this courtesy.”
Even though Yuria held onto the sword at her waist, I still didn’t look away.
It was a situation so familiar to me. No, it was a situation I had faced many times before.
Back when I was foolish enough not to give up the name Taylor. Even then, Yuria looked at me with those same eyes.
-You are the disgrace of the Taylors. Robert Taylor.
I knelt down, weeping pathetically, begging.
Begging for my life, trying to cling to our sibling bond even as I desperately fought to survive.
If I survived, perhaps there would be a chance to mend our relationship.
Just like in the distant past, when we could be close again. That’s what I wanted to believe and lived by.
-…Lock Robert Taylor in the basement. He will not be fed until he learns his lesson.
But what was the result?
Even after surviving, I was locked in a cold room, dying without ever seeing another person’s face until the end.
I had tried desperately to keep living, even when the meals never came.
I chewed on a rat that had snuck through, drenched my lips in beast’s blood, and somehow endured.
Yet, I still died. It seemed my fate was sealed the moment I knelt before Yuria.
That’s how I died and got another chance to live.
What had I done wrong?
If wanting to live was my mistake, then that was truly a laughable story.
As I frowned at the fleeting memories, Yuria shot me a disdainful glare.
The mere fact that I was speaking to her was clearly displeasing to her.
I was just a coward who had always been beneath her, not daring to meet her gaze.
“With the authority of the Lady of the House, I can personally deal with anyone who causes trouble. You understand that, right?”
“Am I causing trouble right now?”
“You just said you’ve had all your authority stripped away, yet here you are, defying me. If that’s not trouble, then what is? I’m serious, Robert Taylor.”
Drawing the sword she had received upon being appointed as Lady of the House, she strode toward me.
Did she think I would be scared? Her hand gripping the sword trembled slightly at my nonchalant attitude.
Yuria let out a small sigh. Her furrowed brows were fixed on me.
Ignoring the emotions that were etched in her eyes, I simply waited for what words she would spill next.
What would this foolish woman say next?
What foolish words will the woman spout next?
Every word spilling from her tongue was a reflection of her past deeds. In the future, those deeds would return to her, becoming both sword and poison.
As a long silence lingered, Yuria looked at me and moved her lips.
“You… seem to dislike Taylor. Since childhood, you’ve never shown any affection for the family.”
“Is that what you think?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. Yuria frowned, visibly displeased by my smirk.
But it was a statement that left me no choice but to laugh. I didn’t dislike Taylor.
If I truly hated this family, I wouldn’t have repeated this cycle of reincarnation until now.
Now, I had merely resigned myself to the situation.
I realized that with my individual efforts alone, I couldn’t change anything, so giving up my wishes and merely hoping for death was all that remained.
Thus, I laughed. It was amusing, her question was ridiculous, and the delusion I harbored was funny.
“So you thought that? You thought I disliked Taylor?”
I took a larger step forward and stood before Yuria.
She was much shorter than me, and it was the first time I looked down at her like this.
When I had knelt to look up at her, she seemed quite tall, but now that I saw her as a pitiful woman, a smile naturally spread across my face.
“…You are mistaken, Lady of the House.”
“What do you mean?”
“I do not dislike the Taylor family. It’s just…”
I paused for a moment, looking back at Yuria.
I never expected I would utter these words. They were thoughts I had consistently harbored but never dared to say.
I feared that saying them would twist my aspirations, and I had no confidence to bear the consequences.
But now, what was there to hesitate about?
With Teresia out of the way, there was nothing left to fear.
To the Yuria, staring at me blankly, I continued speaking slowly.
My voice was so quiet and calm, it felt like the kind of sound a doll would make.
“I just dislike you.”
This was my desperate cry.
It was something I wanted to scream out so many times throughout my past life, but I couldn’t muster the courage to say it aloud, burying it deep inside.
What kind of answer would she provide to this quiet cry?
Her eyes, which were always cold and frozen, seemed to have melted away.
Only a rigid-faced woman, staring at me with a dumb expression, remained.
There was no sound rising from her slightly parted lips.
I gazed at Yuria for a moment before turning and starting to walk away.
“I shall take my leave, Lady of the House.”
I no longer had any desire to continue the bond of siblings.
What she thought of this, whether this would change her mind, mattered not to me.
Just as you cannot gather flowing water again, so too was the nature of our relationship.
Even as I moved onward, leaving Yuria behind, a voice echoed in my ears.
It was the voice I had ignored in some life.
A voice trapped in foolish regret, one I refused to acknowledge for far too long.
…I disliked Yuria.
And it only made me feel foolish that I was realizing this now.
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