Chapter 217
Thoughts kept flooding into my head.
It was to the point where my daily life was becoming difficult, clearly indicating that the values I held as Oh Yoori were crumbling.
That man, Seon Taeyang.
I felt a sense of crisis that this couldn’t go on.
So, stealing whatever time I could, I sought out the quack doctor who had previously sold treatment programs to my mother and me. Since he was already retired, locating him wasn’t easy, but upon hearing that I was searching for him, he personally contacted me.
When we met again, that quack doctor smiled warmly and said.
“It’s been a while, Oh Chun-ja. Should I call you Oh Yoori now?”
“The title doesn’t matter.”
What was important now wasn’t that.
“What have you done to me?”
“…What do you mean? Are you experiencing a change, Oh Chun-ja?”
“I am. A very severe one.”
“What kind of change are you going through?”
Even though I felt some reluctance discussing this, I shared the bizarre experiences I’d had since meeting Seon Taeyang.
“Someone keeps entering my head. I don’t want to think about it, don’t feel the need to, and there’s no value in it, yet he keeps coming into my mind, continuously.”
It was a truly strange occurrence. Thoughts should flow according to my intentions, yet regardless of my will, that man kept overwhelming my mind.
This was not a normal situation.
“Is it everyone? Or just one person?”
“One person.”
“….”
The doctor listened in silence for a moment, pondering before he spoke.
“Do you have any idea what that person might be thinking?”
No, I couldn’t even guess what that man was thinking. Understanding him was impossible for me.
“I have no idea. How would I know that?”
“Then, do you find yourself guessing what that person might be thinking?”
“…Yes, I do.”
“You even think about how that person might feel in various situations.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
The doctor, wearing a peculiar smile, said,
“Oh Chun-ja, you’re empathizing right now.”
“…Huh?”
That was a very awkward statement. It was a word completely disconnected from me.
“You said that person is a psychopath, right? How would I handle that? I’m one of those crazy people who are rational, value discriminating, and disregard emotions, looking only at numerical data and phenomena!”
“To be precise, it should be called congenital antisocial personality disorder.”
“The meaning isn’t that different, though?”
“There is a difference in scope. It’s whether it encompasses a broader meaning or deals with more limited cases.”
“You called it a psychopath back then.”
“That was for the sake of simplicity… No, it’s better to put it this way instead.”
The quack doctor, smiling wryly, looked at me and said.
The quack doctor smiled at me and said.
“It’s a common misunderstanding: a psychopath is not someone without emotions. That would fall under cases like emotional dullness or emotion expression inability. They’re two completely different things.”
“….”
“So, Ms. Oh Chun-ja, it’s not that you lack emotions… And if you can recognize your own feelings, you can empathize as well.”
I let out a slight snort and replied.
“Then isn’t that just a normal person? It shouldn’t be. I know better than anyone that I’m a crazy woman.”
“Of course, there are differences. It’s a fact that they generally feel fewer emotions. However, you need to consider that the term ‘psychopath’ applies just because they differ from the average person. The inability to empathize like the general population can vary wildly in cases as well. Some can empathize just a little, while others can’t at all… And there are those who can only empathize with animals, plants, characters, or specific people.”
“….”
One person popped into my mind at that moment.
“I had assessed that Ms. Oh Chun-ja fits the case of being able to empathize just a little and structured the program accordingly, but it seems I was mistaken. It appears Ms. Oh Chun-ja belongs to the last case.”
“….”
“You mentioned someone keeps entering your mind, right? And you can’t stop worrying about how that person feels or thinks? Even though you didn’t intend to… That’s what empathy is. Originally, empathy naturally seeps in without any intention.”
Is this what’s “natural”? It’s all dizzy, numb, and my heart’s racing, and everyone feels this way?
And they live normally doing so?
…Is that even possible?
“…Do other people feel this every moment?”
“They live like that. Exhaustingly so.”
“….”
The quack doctor quickly dismissed my question but spoke seriously.
“Oh Chun-ja.”
The wrinkled doctor said with a hint of distant regret in his eyes.
“Don’t ignore that impulse, that empathy; cherish it. It might be your last chance.”
“…What if I’m going to ignore it?”
The quack doctor feigned surprise at my declaration but quickly laughed playfully.
“That wouldn’t be easy, you know?”
*
Girl 100 wrapped up.
In many ways, it exploded with a bang.
And naturally, being at the center of that explosion, I couldn’t continue working with Flower.
Since the company blew up anyway, it would’ve been impossible even if I hadn’t been at the center…
But surprisingly, many agencies were reaching out to me, given my risky past as a whistleblower. I guess my efforts to look good in front of the stakeholders paid off.
In terms of average visuals and skills, I was a decent catch that stood out.
Most had negative intentions, trying to use my newfound fame for cheap noise marketing; however, there were also some respectable agencies. Even a few that made me wonder, “Is this really a good agency?”
There were quite a few reputable agencies. I was surprised to find myself at one that was actually decent, thinking, “Is this really where I am?”
It was an overly luxurious option for someone like a whistleblower. Yet, among those lavish choices, I decided to be cute and plead with TwoBear in front of Seon Taeyang.
Sure, it was a short-term loss, but looking at the long game, I thought it made sense.
The guy and the company I was observing seemed just newly established, but they definitely had potential.
With that judgment in mind, Seon Taeyang said to me, while I was desperately laying on the charm and flattery.
“I feel like you being here to recruit is a bit unnecessary, don’t you think?”
“….”
“And seeing you bring up recruitment so casually makes me think even less of you. Choosing 4 people right now is a choice that will determine the fate of all of TwoBear’s members. I don’t want to pick someone so light-hearted. I want someone with a sense of urgency.”
That guy must know. A high-quality item like me rolling into TwoBear by my own accord is like free gold coming into their hands. Even if I had a few flaws, I was an unusual find that didn’t need additional investment as a solid asset.
So, Seon Taeyang’s comment was like establishing some order.
It made logical sense. After all, I was a product with a prior track record.
Now, I had to slowly raise my appeal.
Persuasion is built that way.
“Hmm… You need to show a level of commitment, like being willing to kneel and lick my feet. Otherwise, how would even someone dull like me understand your intentions?”
However, I thought that bouncing back once against such a statement would help balance the power dynamics.
That guy probably said it with that hope, and I certainly had that level of worth.
But….
“If you pick me, I’ll lick your feet every day! No, I’ll give you a full-body shower with my tongue! Please trust this Oh Yoori just once!”
Something made my body move first.
“Hey, hold on, stop…! Ugh! I actually licked it!”
I froze in shock, staring blankly at his flushed face before realizing the gravity of the situation.
…What did I just do?
*
After officially signing with TwoBear, Cheon Aram, the president of TwoBear, said to me.
“Ms. Oh Yoori, there’s something you should keep in mind while being in the girl group at TwoBear.”
“What is it?”
Her face, which had maintained a firm smile throughout the contract, suddenly crumpled, and she sighed deeply.
“Um… the members you’ll be working with aren’t exactly typical. In terms of interpersonal relationships.”
I quickly replied.
“I don’t care. I’m used to group living. Even if we bump heads, I’ll make sure there won’t be any trouble.”
“No, it’s not about you having trouble with them… sigh.”
Shaking her head, Cheon Aram said with a strangely unsettling smile.
“It’s probably better for you to see it for yourself.”
“…What on earth does that mean?”
“What is it?”
“You’ll find out soon.”
And the insane fact that all three trainees I had to endure with for seven years were simultaneously in love with our manager, Seon Taeyang, hit me the next day.
*
I thought I was doing my best.
I was trying to delay the catastrophic relationship between the three older sisters holding enormous feelings and the strange man named Seon Taeyang.
I could tell that I would get caught in their bombshell.
Then, in the midst of this, Gaeul unni acted out.
She threatened him using her life as leverage to extract a promise to become his lover.
No one could have predicted such madness.
Well, I honestly expected one of them to burst someday, but I didn’t think it would happen this quickly.
…I thought it would be around the end of the contract.
As soon as I found out, I immediately dashed to Seon Taeyang’s office.
It was a reflexive action before the chaos unfolded.
And there I saw it.
Seon Taeyang’s face, silently weeping without shedding tears, drowning in guilt.
“…”
At that moment, uncontrollably, his heart, his thoughts, his sense of responsibility all flowed into me.
They swam and burrowed deep.
It filled my chest so painfully, soaking in the hurt and sadness he felt.
It made me ‘empathize.’
I tried to ignore it. This was not something I should be involved in.
It wasn’t something a selfish and self-absorbed weirdo like Oh Yoori needed to care about.
‘It won’t be easy, you know?’
But in the end, the quack doctor’s words were right.
“…Yuri?”
I couldn’t just leave it alone.
So, I handed over the beer I had secretly snagged and desperately thought.
Instead of hiding my body from the crashing wave that was Seon Taeyang, I threw myself into it. I actively participated in that ‘empathy.’
At the end of it, I felt like I finally understood what Seon Taeyang needed.
“Just, you can think of me as a friend.”
Calling myself a name I had never dared to claim in my life stemmed from that thought being the answer.
“A light-hearted friend to chat with over a non-alcoholic beer. A friend you don’t even see as a potential romantic interest.”
Seon Taeyang received it as bluntly as usual.
But the faint smile at the corners of his mouth and in his eyes had changed.
I could understand that emotion without having to calculate it through phenomena or averages.
His feelings shifted. From concern for me to ‘reassurance.’
It seemed I had found the answer.
He relaxed at my words.
His wounded heart seemed to be healed, even if just a little.
“…”
…But in exchange, my own heart began to ache, piercingly.
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