Chapter 216
The tie I left behind and the hallway I absolutely have to pass through to retrieve it.
The stage, props, and roles.
All that’s left is the acting.
Ready.
Hah, hah,
Action.
Clap!
“If you, Oh Yoori, can’t do this, Eunbyeol unnie’s future is completely over! No one is here to help.”
….
Cut.
Confirmed. Seon Taeyang is watching this scene right now.
This will, against my intentions, make Seon Taeyang harbor a feeling of suspicion… To put it precisely, he’ll move as if he’s looking at a stalker, with reluctance.
Well, lacking any props that could substitute for sound, my own cheek, which I slapped to create a loud noise, stung quite a bit. But if it can reduce the suspicion that this man, Seon Taeyang, has, it’s a cheap sacrifice.
While I’m feeling this slight satisfaction, Han Eunbyeol, holding a fire extinguisher while dripping blood, asked me.
“Is this really the best plan?”
I answered inwardly.
It’s the best plan. As an individual, I can’t throw the program into chaos.
“That’s not it. Asking for that person’s cooperation is obvious. What I want to know is why you don’t just say ‘help me.’ That person would dive into hell with just those words!”
My mother, dragging in a large dog with a pierced neck and blood gushing out, remarked.
“If you’re someone like you, wouldn’t you naturally want to use that? Why take on more risk in a situation where you could strike a cheap deal?”
I answered that question too.
Moving in that direction means betting everything on the uncertain movements of Seon Taeyang. It’s better to minimize variables. If I attempted something like that and he rejects it, then the whole plan crumbles.
Han Eunbyeol spoke again.
“Do you think that guy would say no?”
….
“He probably wouldn’t, right? You know what kind of person Seon Taeyang is.”
To my silence, my mother smirked and said,
“Quit the nonsense and act like yourself. Don’t pretend to be human.”
*
If there’s a question about “What kind of person am I?” and I must answer it honestly, I’d say I’m a merchant.
I distinguish all phenomena using the time and energy I have to expend, what I possess and what the other party has, evaluating their worth and only moving in a direction that benefits me.
Without any cheap sentiments, I calculate everything with figures, so the term “merchant” fits me best.
Moreover, acting is the most high-value product I possess.
It’s hard to understand, but without a huge expenditure, the other party attributes tremendous value to the expressions and gestures I show, treating them as if they carry some significant meaning.
They treat it as if it holds great significance.
Even though it’s just one of the fragments of labor that has no value to me.
Thus, I am a merchant who treats that acting as a prime product.
It’s all about pretending I have something the other party wants.
Emotion, sadness, friendship, affection, trust.
If I pretend to offer these well-selling emotions at a high price to the other party, they will hand over the valuable assets they possess—labor, connections, money—at a bargain.
Seon Taeyang wouldn’t be any different.
Like Han Eunbyeol, who’s parasitizing in my head, like my mother asked.
He must be that kind of person.
So, I started another deal.
“If you ever need help, just let me know. I’ll assist you.”
“I don’t think that’s something you can say so lightly… What if I ask you for something really bothersome?”
“I’m not saying it lightly.”
“Then why bring it up? We haven’t known each other for long, have we?”
“If I can solve a problem for you to the point it annoys me, I think I’d be satisfied.”
Just one word.
That one word asking for help would be enough here.
And with a bit of acting mixed in, I’d be surprised at how easily I’d be satisfied.
It’s a very efficient deal.
However, what I brought up was a question.
“…Is that really all?”
“What do you mean by ‘just that’?”
“I don’t need a reason beyond that.”
“…Someday, you might get hurt badly. Isn’t that something that has already happened?”
“I learned that not stepping in may lead to more regret, even if I get hurt. So it’s fine.”
Then facing that question, he lightly dug into the words etched into my heart, as if he knew nothing.
“There’s nothing that Oh Yoori should owe me in return.”
Through a mask that had never cracked once, so lightly.
“…”
Eventually, after he left, I finished my contemplation and reached a conclusion.
“…I guess I really have to do it alone.”
*
The doctor, who said he was different from a typical psychopath while ripping off my mother’s money, said,
“So, you shouldn’t ignore that little impulse Oh Chun-ja feels. Don’t judge it as bizarre or irrational. Instead, just surrender to that impulse. You’re missing out. Humanly, you know.”
Thinking about it again, he was definitely a quack.
Behind that quack doctor, Han Eunbyeol walked out and said,
“You’ve ignored it countless times until now, and only now? It’s not something I should have to tell you is stupid, right?”
….
And my mother, who was walking the dog, said,
“What a foolish girl. Call that man even now, and run away. Isn’t that how you’ve been living?”
“Isn’t it the way you’ve lived?”
…
Since I didn’t respond, Han Eunbyeol started hitting her head with the fire extinguisher.
Kushik, kushik.
My mother began to be bitten to death by the large dog she was dragging along.
Paddeuk, paddeuk.
That scene had nothing to do with me.
So, for that reason, I reached out.
Then Han Eunbyeol came up to me and hit my head with the fire extinguisher, while my mother bit through my skin with the dog.
I held them with an arm that had all the flesh ripped off, leaving only bones.
That wasn’t strange.
Because I was insane.
And at that moment, I woke up from my faint.
“Haah…”
It seemed I had fainted for a brief moment after being hit in the abdomen by a stout man in a suit.
The feeling of my insides twisting was unusual.
“What should we do with these kids?”
“What do you mean, what should we do? We need to shut their mouths.”
“So how are we supposed to do that…?”
Leading the broad-shouldered suit-wearers, Ban Seong-cheol muttered with a crude look, watching me, struggling to suppress the pain while clutching my belly.
“Hmm… first, let’s take a picture…”
It was a truly messed-up situation.
…Why did I get involved in this mud pit when I was insane?
So, the reason I was in this predicament could be due to that quack doctor’s useless treatment program, or it could be because Han Eunbyeol said something ridiculous, or perhaps I hadn’t taken that mysterious medicine the doctor prescribed recently. Or maybe it was my mother’s fault for raising a dog.
…Or perhaps all of them.
But I didn’t really regret it.
Ah… I should correct that. My immature planning and rescue execution are regrettable.
Although there was a lack of budget and personnel, I certainly moved too hastily.
However, I didn’t regret not calling that man.
The reason is… well, that reason is…
“Take the picture yourself, idiot.”
I don’t know.
“Those kids aren’t people who would get involved with someone like you.”
…No, actually, I didn’t want to know.
The moment I learned that, something felt like it would change.
*
Surprisingly, it seemed that Seon Taeyang’s earlier claim, that if it were a group of healthy adult men rather than middle school girls, he could have won, wasn’t just bragging.
Seon Taeyang single-handedly took down an incredible number of people compared to those middle school girls.
It was truly an unreal sight.
…Why is he doing something like managing? He should be an athlete.
In any case, just with Seon Taeyang getting involved, the situation dramatically improved.
Perhaps he didn’t want to boast or show off, he usually pretended to be goofy, but Seon Taeyang was genuinely an amazing person.
Naturally, those around him didn’t leave such a man alone.
When they heard the words “Seon Taeyang in crisis,” people rushed over, inspecting him with worried looks, as if he were a diamond with a scratch.
The people who rushed over at the mention of “gems” scrutinized him with worried eyes, as if they were afraid of even a scratch on the jewels.
Surrounded by those people, Seon Taeyang gently set me down while refusing their concern with a warm smile and said, “Let’s go.”
“…Where to?”
I felt that question arise in my mind but didn’t push back.
*
After finishing his appointment at the hospital, Seon Taeyang spoke.
As if it were nothing, just like always, in a way that was hard to understand.
“That’s because Miss Oh Yoori is strong enough to choose to carry everything herself rather than burden others.”
“…”
“I think someone like her deserves a reward, so I put in some effort.”
“…”
I couldn’t understand others.
I pretended to understand by analyzing with observation and statistics.
So it was only natural that I didn’t understand that man.
No need to overthink it. Just, as always, use it.
That’s all there is to it.
But even though I couldn’t understand, even though I hadn’t tried to…
“…Every time. …Every time.”
That man, Seon Taeyang, kept burrowing into me.
Since the moment I first saw him.
“…Every time you do that!”
What I spat out were words.
However, they were a jumble of meaningless and non-functional language, not the expected and organized product.
Knowing I couldn’t leave anything behind, I desperately tried to expel the man who had entered me from my eyes.
The man who had been filling my head relentlessly from some moment onward.
Otherwise, I feared I would lose something; my already overflowing head and heart felt like they were going to burst, so I surrendered to the impulse, just as that quack doctor said.
“Chunja.”
And only then did that man call my name.
“You’ve become an amazing person, just as I said back then.”
“…”
Amidst the chaos, within the storm of the word Seon Taeyang swirling inside me, I rationally realized what Oh Yoori’s role was supposed to do right now.
“Far beyond me.”
It was simple. I had to cry, as if I was touched by his words and actions, and cling to him.
I felt I understood a little.
Seon Taeyang, who had mixed into me, told me this.
He would see it as enough reward.
So I cried.
That was all.
Reason, productivity, benefit.
These are what make me up.
These are what I pursue.
Even if I’m swayed by strange impulses, even if I don’t take the medicine given by the quack doctor, even if I’m called a monster, even if I see Han Eunbyeol caught stealing luxury cosmetics lying about it being my doing, those things don’t change.
So the tears I’m shedding now, cradled in his arms, are mere acting. It’s all I know how to do as a broken human.
…So really, it’s just acting.
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