Yuria’s gaze remained fixated on one spot.
On the spot where her younger brother, Robert, had just apologized and left.
Her brother was truly a pathetic being. Weak and clueless, he could only act under the weight of the family’s influence.
Thus, she thought he didn’t fit the family at all.
Every time she saw that coward who couldn’t even meet her eyes, her mood soured even further.
“Lady of the House.”
If he had brought up that title she didn’t want to hear, it might have worsened her feelings, but Robert managed to avoid that option.
Only the emotionless gaze remained.
She didn’t see the eyes that once fluttered when they met hers.
That weak demeanor seemed to have completely vanished, almost making her feel like he was standing up to her instead.
However, that residual thought was soon wiped clean. No matter how he had changed, it didn’t matter.
For Yuria, the name Robert held no meaning at all.
Perhaps this transformation wouldn’t last more than a few days. Those eyes would soon light up with the same pathetic look again.
With that, Yuria turned her back and began walking in the opposite direction of where Robert had disappeared.
With a peculiar feeling, barely noticeable in her chest.
#
Fundamentally, during this period, I was treated quite seriously.
After all, being the son of a prestigious duke, they wouldn’t look too kindly on a weakling like me.
As the only son, expectations were high, and since I couldn’t meet them, I was naturally neglected.
So, I turned to alcohol. I was caught by my father after stumbling around in a daze, under the influence of drugs, and ended up getting beaten.
Even in the fog of memory, I could still recall the beatings vividly; it seems that only the bad memories stick around.
The first attempt at reincarnation happened right before my death.
Specifically, right before my first death, the relic I had in my possession reacted while I was being executed on charges of treason.
A dazzling array of lights enveloped me, and then a gentle voice whispered in my ear. I still can’t forget it.
[What is it that you truly desire?]
And then the words followed that I would start a second round.
At first, I thought of it as an opportunity, but later it felt more like a hell reserved only for me.
Until I decided to try it again, I mostly recall being mad throughout my life.
Reaching this point, I hold no desires to regain all my relationships.
There are people to be thankful for, but those people likely wouldn’t remember how grateful I am.
Yet, if there’s one thing I strongly long for, it’s to at least bring down the Crown Prince with my own hands.
In the past, I couldn’t act out of fear for what might happen, but for the Crown Prince Kaitel, who had branded me a traitor,
I absolutely wanted revenge.
This hundredth death’s starting point was actually him, wasn’t it?
Since that first encounter with death, just counting the times I died accused of treason at the hands of the Crown Prince, it must have been several dozen.
The reason I was poisoned in the last round was also due to a treason charge.
While I managed to clarify that I wasn’t a traitor, the relationships I neglected due to worrying about treason led me to my deaths.
Guillotine, gallows, poison… I felt I had died in so many varied ways.
And the cause of all my deaths? The Crown Prince Kaitel.
Killing Kaitel was never my original goal. I believed if I earned everyone’s trust, I wouldn’t die. However, as the rounds repeated, I realized one thing.
Done.
My death is always related to the Crown Prince, no matter what happens. Unless I commit suicide, I will inevitably hear Kaitel’s name, and it’s been almost the tenth time I’ve tracked this strange fact.
I have lived through reincarnation a hundred times; excluding the futile ones, I think I’ve had about forty real lives.
Even though it feels like too many times, I can’t help but feel an old sense of shame towards those who remain unchanged despite such attempts.
What was the effort for, anyway? There was enough evidence regarding what the Crown Prince did, having risked my life for it. All that remains is to wait for the right moment to strike.
Even if I haven’t been accused of treason yet, I’ve still got two years, so I’ve got plenty of time left.
I’ve gathered all the evidence to prove that it’s not treason. Now the question is, how do I bring about the Crown Prince’s downfall?
“… I guess I should exclude relying on family power.”
When I was accused, the Taylor family abandoned me.
What were they thinking, watching me dragged away with a face full of despair? I used to think they would be saddened, but through several reincarnations, I’ve come to know they actually reveled in it.
To them, I was nothing more than a thorn in their side.
I had an inkling of this fact already. I was just denying it and trying other methods.
I reincarnated again and again to love and to be loved. I believed that was the value of my life.
If I believe, then they will believe in me too. If I can somehow fix my actions, they will change their hearts. Didn’t I live most of my past reincarnations with that thought?
But to think it all meant nothing.
The reflection in the mirror smiled back at me.
But it wasn’t a genuine smile. A bitter taste lingered in my mouth, slowly meandering along my tongue.
I swept back my neatly groomed gray hair. There was a time when this hair had turned completely white.
My skin had become so dry it cracked, and all the nails on my hands had been pulled out at one point.
But now, I looked fine. After all, reincarnation leaves no trace on the body.
However, the soul still remembers the scars, and sometimes when I look in the mirror, phantom pains come flowing back.
It’s the same when I see people. The harsh words they said to me flood my mind, and no matter how much I smile, I can’t see them differently.
“How did I endure?”
Isn’t it astonishing, even to myself? To remain so intact after so countless deaths.
I think this will be my last time doing this, which is quite liberating.
What I desire is no longer to mend relationships.
Eternal rest. To close my eyes, be buried in the ground, and never open them again.
Then suddenly, the scenery outside the window caught my eye.
What I saw beyond the window was glorious weather.
Not a cloud in sight, just a day in summer filled with blue skies and vibrant greens.
I felt a sense of calm as the sound of chirping crickets filled the air.
This peace will likely shatter soon, but isn’t this the only moment to feel such trivial emotions?
So, I wiped away my distractions. Revenge and such useless thoughts were cast aside as I slowly brushed my face.
This is one of the few moments of leisure one can feel shortly after reincarnating.
“Now is the time.”
“If I think about it, isn’t this finally the time to die?”
“I wanted to gather a little of the things I couldn’t see in order to survive.”
Knock knock—
“Young Master, it’s Renold.”
“I was dissatisfied that my thoughts scattered, but I found Renold’s attitude quite agreeable.”
“Could it be that what I said earlier actually applied?”
“Now, recalling a butler who wisely doesn’t barges in, I spoke up.”
“Come in.”
Renold, who entered very cautiously, soon glanced at the empty teacup I left behind and lowered his head.
“Perhaps he looked a bit servile, but I believed the fact that he could be kicked out of here if he’s not careful played well for him.”
“If he gets kicked out from here, there wouldn’t be a place for Renold to go.”
“What’s going on?”
“The Duke was looking for you earlier. When do you plan on visiting him?”
Turning my back to him, Renold answered while keeping his head down.
“Thank goodness I still remembered that the Duke was looking for me. I’ve had such a bad experience when I neglected it before that I couldn’t forget.”
“Well, I suppose I have to go. But that’s not now.”
“Coincidentally, isn’t today the day to see a pleasant face?”
Thinking of that, I understood why Renold had come to find me.
“Looks like your fiancée is coming.”
“…That’s right.”
For a moment, Renold’s eyes narrowed in surprise, but then he nodded slowly.
“Fiancée” referred to the one woman throughout my whole life.
Teresa Violet. The woman I loved, and who loved me back.
However, at this point, it had been a long time since our relationship twisted.
“Having a scandal that I held another woman while engaged is what I am now occupied with sorting out.”
“I wonder who spread that scandal. It was Teresa who comforted me when I was confused.”
“You wouldn’t do that; it’s just a misunderstanding.”
“But as the rumors spread, the gaze directed at me changed.”
“The looks filled with contempt and disgust came from someone who once loved me.”
“They doubted if it was really not true and insisted that I prove my sincerity.”
“But how could one prove such a thing? That’s what the past me thought.”
“Then prepare the tea. No, actually, there’s no need to prepare anything. Just don’t prepare anything. When it’s time, I’ll go out and welcome her directly.”
A faint smile tinged my voice as I said this.
Renold looked at me in surprise for a moment but understood I meant it and cautiously moved his lips.
“But if you do that… will you be okay?”
“Of course I’ll be fine. They won’t expect a grand reception from that side anyway.”
I vividly remember the expression I wore when I realized Teresa approached me, targeting the Taylor family’s wealth from the beginning.
Being betrayed is truly miserable.
To realize that the feelings I held for so long were all one-sided, and that was even an illusion.
People do go insane.
“Then I will do that. They should be arriving soon.”
Renold seemed to be troubled by my actions.
After all, Violet belonged to a flourishing family, so he must have thought that treating her like this would leave some dissatisfaction.
I was also trembling just as much. But this was not anxiety.
It was closer to the joy of finally being able to speak words I had never uttered before.
The rumor about me meeting another woman was also the doing of the Violet family, and knowing this, Teresa still had the audacity to say something to me.
Of course, there was no way any good feelings would remain.
Eventually, when Renold disappeared, I couldn’t help but smile at the empty space left behind.
“I’m curious.”
Teresa came to see me today to get my consent for the annulment.
But all this time, I had clung to Teresa for the thread of hope that was barely hanging on.
If I let her go, I might just die. Even if she were using me, I did it to survive.
But I had long known it would be futile. I was just holding on with a glimmer of hope.
“I wonder what kind of expression she would have if I said I wanted to annul the engagement.”
The feeling of severing ties with past connections was exhilarating beyond anything else.
#
The first time Teresa learned about the man named Robert was at a ball.
He was a remarkably fragile man for a family like Taylor’s.
Despite his tall stature, his pale skin made him appear infinitely weak.
Indeed, his character lacked boldness, prompting Teresa to plan to use him from a certain point on.
After the engagement ceremony, when she thought he would be infatuated with her, she spread rumors.
In that situation, if she alone understood Robert, he would probably lean on the one person who understood him.
When emotions reached their peak,
it was then the best time to bring him down, wasn’t it?
Today was the day to seal the deal. How much I had laughed when I saw the letter that had come to me just days ago.
Demanding proof of love with jewelry and gems, it was truly foolish of me to send those diligently, allowing the Violet family to accumulate considerable wealth.
Perhaps today would be the same. Even if I demanded annulment, this pathetic man would offer me his riches.
But the moment I stepped into the entrance of the Taylor mansion, Teresa’s expression began to harden.
“Welcome.”
Originally, several guards should have welcomed her.
However, the empty entrance had only one person standing there.
The man she intended to meet today, and the same man she had just insulted not long ago.
As Teresa swallowed the words she was about to say in greeting, the moment our eyes met, a chilling sensation ran down my spine.
“…Why do you have that expression, Teresa?”
Though he smiled softly, to Teresa, it didn’t seem like a smile at all.
Rather, it looked like a snake that was ready to devour her, finally revealing its true form.
“On this fine day.”
Robert chuckled softly.
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