183rd Episode
“Alicia, I’m coming in.”
At a late hour, a man entered Alicia’s dormitory without knocking.
His sharp eyes were enough to make anyone flinch as he confidently walked into Alicia’s Room like he owned the place.
Alicia momentarily flinched at the familiar voice and appearance she hadn’t heard in a while, but soon turned her widened eyes away and smiled softly.
“Naias.”
“What nonsense are you spouting? Did you really forget your master’s face after just a few weeks?”
“It’s only been a week since you’ve been in the solitary room. Have you finished your training now?”
“…Tch, I can’t fool Alicia. There’s no getting through to you.”
Naias clicked his tongue in disappointment when he realized his perfect persona wasn’t working and returned to his original form.
Alicia welcomed Naias with a bright smile, and he greeted her back, also expressing it had been a while.
“But… why did you come looking like the Young Master?”
“Just! I thought you’d like it.”
“…Like it? When did I—”
“More importantly! Don’t you notice something different about me?”
Naias twirled around in a fluttering dress. Alicia squinted, inspecting him closely as desired. The appearance hadn’t changed, but the mana felt different.
“Could it be… did you finally succeed?”
“Hehe. That’s right! I’ve completely regained my peak power! I don’t have to struggle against mediocre foes anymore! Now I’m the strongest!”
Naias beamed proudly, and Alicia rejoiced, congratulating him profusely. The water spirit was showing off.
“With my power as the Duke of Spirits fully restored, combined with the Judgment Weapon, you won’t be able to treat me carelessly, even as the Young Master…! I’m way stronger than Arcane, you know…! You better cherish me more!”
Naias effectively had two masters. The first was Vargan, and the other was Alicia, who had been granted equal authority.
Although Naias understood that the sword, his medium, couldn’t accompany him with Alicia when Vargan was around, he still felt a bit hurt inside.
Especially since Arcane, another Duke-level spirit, started accompanying Vargan.
Alicia, knowing this, spoke in a kind tone to reassure the spirit, who smiled like a boy but had a hint of sorrow visible.
After trying to give some encouragement to the spirit, who was smiling like a year but still showing hints of sadness.
“The Young Master values results, right? While you were away at the Academia, Naias worked hard and achieved great results. I’m sure the Young Master will be thrilled and hold you dear, Naias.”
“Really…? Do you think so?”
“Of course! You’ve worked so hard, Naias.”
“Boohoo… You’re the only one for me, Alicia…!”
Naias threw herself into Alicia’s arms as if pouring out her past sorrows. Alicia warmly patted her back, and after a while, Naias sniffled and said with a red nose.
“It’s really you who’s putting in more effort than me… attending classes every day, preparing, reviewing, training with Arterion, and even practicing swordsmanship and magic while cutting back on sleep.”
“Compared to the Young Master, it still feels insufficient.”
“You’re both ridiculous.”
Once Naias stopped crying, she pulled away from Alicia and looked around. Observing the remaining flow of mana, she realized they weren’t training for once.
“What were you doing?”
“Well… it’s nothing special…”
“Huh? What’s with the sudden blush and the panic? Were you doing something naughty on your own?”
“N-no! Why is the conversation heading that way…!”
“It’s nothing worth hiding, so don’t be coy. Anyway, what were you up to? Hmm? What’s this?”
Naias picked up a book with beautiful handwriting. It looked like a recipe for some dish.
“All of these seem to be for the same meal, but why are there so many different methods? Did you research all of this? Rice cake stir-fry… frying? What is this?”
“Oh, uh… those are dishes the Young Master showed interest in at the festival. They’re new to me too, so I didn’t know the cooking methods.”
“So…are you seriously trying to master them until they taste right?! To make for the Young Master?”
“Y-yes… but I keep failing miserably.”
Alicia quietly nodded, embarrassed.
Naias stared at this unbelievable creature with wide eyes as if asking when she last cried. Not only was it surprising that someone would put in this much effort for another, but when, on her busy schedule, did she find time to do this?
“I had no idea. If I didn’t know, then that means you did it after your training… Are you getting enough sleep?”
“Don’t worry. I’m getting a regular two hours of sleep.”
“Even I, as a spirit, think that’s not enough… Ugh. You’re really determined, aren’t you? It’s like you’re living fiercely to not just be the Young Master’s servant.”
Naias shook her head in disbelief as she scanned Alicia’s notes.
Though the handwriting was neat and didn’t stand out, traces of failures were scattered throughout. She had densely written down causes and alternative ingredients to avoid forgetting.
Alicia had asked for this to be kept a secret. She was worried that Vargan would criticize her for doing something pointless.
Vargan was worried that he would be scolded for doing something pointless.
Naias nodded with a faint smile.
“I hope the Young Master likes it.”
Closing the thick book, Naias realized that only one more day remained until Vargan was scheduled to return. Although she wouldn’t be able to finish it before then, if it were Alicia, she would surely manage to create the perfect taste.
A bit of tension clutched Alicia’s delicate hands.
A smile blossomed, pure white like a bellflower, possessing an unassuming beauty.
The somewhat melancholic voice of a woman in love tickled her ears.
“… then it would be perfect.”
—Rustle rustle.
The branches outside were noisy.
Even at this late hour, the wind continued to move restlessly, knocking on the window.
The bare branches looked cold, as if they wanted to escape the chill outside and come inside to the warmth.
It scratched at the window, as if pleading to be let in with its gaunt arms.
*
The commotion from the wind outside was no different in here.
Vargan struggled to calm Erica, who was crying incessantly. He barely managed to soothe her with a debuff-type curse magic, causing her eyelids to finally start to droop.
Hearing the night wind knock on the window, Vargan sat on the bed leaning against the wall. With an expression as empty as someone who has exhausted all their emotions, Erica leaned on Vargan’s shoulder and moved her lips.
“I can’t trust anyone…”
Every time Erica’s voice emerged, the vibrations traveled through Vargan’s shoulder. In a mournful and dark tone, Erica spoke.
Now that Laila was revealed to be part of the Goddess Church, Erica couldn’t trust anything.
Not her family, not her friends, not anyone around her.
Everything felt strange and frightening.
Aside from Vargan, who had fought for her, everything else had lost its value.
The shock of Laila, who had been so kind and with whom she had spent so much time, who felt like a parent to her, suffocated her.
However, it was just suffocation.
There was something else that was tearing at Erica, like digging into her heart.
“It was hard, wasn’t it…? You suffered…?”
From Erica’s parched voice came words drenched in every emotion.
“How lonely were you all alone…? I didn’t even know that… I said harsh words to you… and inflicted wounds that can’t be undone…”
“……”
“I could never fully trust you… In the end, I gave up… Not knowing anything, who the one truly suffering was… I hated you and stabbed you in the back instead.”
Erica’s lips trembled like leaves in the rain.
It might mean nothing, but above all, she uttered a heartfelt phrase.
“I’m sorry…”
“……”
“I’m so… sorry… I’m sorry to the point that saying sorry feels embarrassing… Even if I say this, it won’t heal your wounds. But… but…”
For a time, Erica repeated her apologies. Although it was the same word, the memories it invoked and her actions gave it a different meaning.
Thus, at the end of her guilt, the emotion that surfaced was self-hatred.
It was self-hatred.
“I hate myself… so much that it’s unbearable… so much that I want to just die right here, as painfully and cruelly as possible… I want to die. But… if I do that, I’ll end up doing something even worse to you… I’ll make you suffer again…”
I finally understood why Vargan took on the role of the villain and pushed me away.
Committing suicide wouldn’t atone for my sins; it would be the worst possible outcome, turning all his efforts and sacrifices into mere vapor.
As her emotions surged again, trying to dispel the sleep, Vargan intensified the Curse Magic. The thick fog swirling around flowed into her breath and was exhaled out.
With every instance, Erica’s fierce waves calmed down again.
Her heavy eyelids fluttered and began to droop.
As her mentally fatigued head leaned toward her shoulder, Vargan supported it and gently lifted it onto his knee.
Erica’s barely audible voice came through.
“Hey… Schugenharz…”
Vargan silently listened to her lines.
Erica, as if caught in a trance, wove her sadness.
“I… I…”
“……”
“What… on earth… can I do to repay this debt…?”
A debt that felt impossibly heavy.
That weight felt immense and suffocating for Erica.
Her vision blurred, leaving just Vargan’s shadowy form behind.
“……Schugen…harz.”
Just before falling asleep, Erica’s tiny fist clutched the edge of Vargan’s clothing.
Her thin bones rose around her wrist.
Her pale, delicate skin looked like it could show the pulsing of her veins.
As if pleading for him not to leave, she held onto Vargan.
“…….”
Once Erica completely fell asleep, Vargan carefully brushed away her black hair so she wouldn’t wake.
Erica’s face, tightly drawn, looked as if she was trapped in a nightmare.
Thump, thump.
Vargan’s heart, which wasn’t even in his body anymore, pounded fiercely.
In the end, the cost of the revealed truth brought him unbearable pain.
Even if it was just the emotions and memories Vargan originally held.
Even if it felt significantly weakened, like a fading life.
There was no hint of deceit or cushioning in this emotion and pain he felt now.
As Vargan tenderly brushed Erica’s hair, he whispered.
“Don’t worry… Erica.”
With lonely yet poignant eyes gazing at her, he promised.
With a voice as soothing as falling leaves about to meet their rest.
“Soon, I will clear everything up for you. The pain you feel, the guilt… all of it.”
So just hang on until then.
It won’t take long.
“……”
Vargan stopped his hand brushing over Erica and looked out the window. The branches danced like a sword in the wind.
The colorful sound of Erica’s breathing.
The sound of howling wind scratching against the window.
Endlessly long and bittersweet.
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