[Author: Aoi Asuka]
[Title: We’re Screwed, Everyone]
The Pirate, the arch test subject of the Six Legged Beast Clan, declares.
“I will destroy the Virtual Electronic Girl! No reason needed!!”
To the Pirate’s brutal proclamation, wicked and ferocious beyond measure, I was so shocked that I froze!! You can’t even find this in an internet wiki! Ai ee!!
A Pirate spews nonsense of a VTuber stalker level, human disqualification level!
He’s insane!
At that moment, Wakamoto Kan, who had been listening quietly, muttered a word.
“That’s annoying.”
That’s annoying!
This is an old-fashioned expression used by noble Shilla aristocrats to express displeasure. Terrifying! Despite the calm voice, the genuine fearful atmosphere exuding from him made the Inari Deity bow its head.
“Ah, yes!”
Flowing silence, a heavy atmosphere!!
If someone not familiar with VTubers were to be in such a place, they would surely sweat in disgrace until they commit seppuku out of shame!
“Marine Departure/Uni-Son/We are the Hosho Pirate Crew”
“Nooo…! Poet!”
Poet!
A Haiku so transparent and fantastical it carries even a mysterious beauty!
Wakakmoto Kan’s VTuber Haiku holds such deep meaning; do the Believer types grasp it?
Sencho refers to an eternal 17-year-old historical pirate VTuber descended from Virtual Japan.
Even old legends describe it as such.
In short, this VTuber Haiku of Wakamoto’s implies an intention to decapitate those unfit to be Pirates.
Wazamae!
Asuka imagined such a scene.
“Abat, Abababat, Ababababat!”
Suddenly, Asuka, in a frenzy, foamed at the mouth like an Engineer and Mujon and fainted.
VRS, the VTuber Reality Shock!
Even as a Climber, not a mere mortal, Asuka could not withstand the atmosphere of Wakamoto in the overwhelming presence of VTubers. Terror!
Seeing such a sight, Wakamoto Kan quietly smiled.
Eliminate the enemy of the VTubers and take the Tower too! Two rabbits, no rabbit!
It was as though it were the very Koto-waza of Miyamoto Musashi’s “Abu-hachitorazo.”
(*It’s a saying with the same meaning as a two birds, one stone Koto-waza)
Before Wakamoto Kan, even the Six Legged Beast is merely a livestock known as Kuro-Ushi.
“Ahahaha! Wahahahaha!”
Even in the Hell of Three Rivers of Jigoku, a ship can be floated, laughing at the thought of sending the Pirate.
“—No, what kind of manic language is this, anyway?”
“Crazy words written at length. Shouldn’t Joo-dtak clean this up?!”
Joo-dtak: He’s the one giving me my paycheck.
Ah.
Ah.
We didn’t say anything! Please direct your anger at the two of them…!!!
Paddak: Those guys have been blocked!!
Truly admirable task handling…
That the administrators are in cahoots! What an apocalyptic law of words…!!
…..Embrace the Kotodama.
Oh Buddha, are you asleep?!
There’s nowhere to run, it’s a four-sided singing. Pirate = Shang..
That he owns the whole community! This absurdity…!
Even if it’s absurd, what can you do?
Asuka: Annoyed, human?
I’ll do an acrostic poem with one chat, so have mercy…!!
No, so did the Pirate really declare war?
Asuka: This is bad. Master is really mad.
Someone who always talks about VTubers picks a fight with a VTuber…
When you think about it, it’s the first time they’ve provoked like this, isn’t it?
Yeah, it’s the first.
The internet was in an uproar again.
Moreover, since one of Japan’s largest VTuber companies, Virtual Live, was bombarded with terrorist threats on TV, it would be strange if it weren’t pandemonium.
Thanks to this, for the safety of VTubers, they announced a break and gave affiliated VTubers a vacation.
The concert ticket in Wakamou’s hand crumpled.
The meticulously planned schedule had to be completely overturned.
Furthermore, the opening schedule of the collaboration cafe, including the originally planned merchandise, was postponed due to the terror announcement.
The reservation ticket received for the cafe in Wakamou’s hand crumpled.
Additionally, overseas VTubers also apologized on social media about the cancellation of planned group broadcasts because their safety could not be assured.
Wakamou drew an X over a holiday he planned for the overseas VTubers’ collaboration, which was already hard to arrange.
There’s a saying that even a Buddha tolerates only three times.
Without a word, taking out his Celestial Blade, checking its sharpness, Wakamou, fully armed with firearms arranged by the Association President and normally unused weaponry, muttered at the air.
“Not even when I demolished guys who picked fights in school with Taekwondo was I this angry…”
Could there have been a time in life where he was this pissed? All the fans were mourning in sorrow.
And, realizing that Wakamou was the cause, he wanted to gut himself immediately in apology.
Yet, amidst all this, when news reports came up about buying goods at the Inari Shrine by VTubers, tears welled in his heart.
Famous VTubers, too, were buying amulets and dolls, praising them as cute ─ and one VTuber even drew and posted Wakamou.
Life was so filled with happiness…. knowing that everyone wasn’t sick and broadcasting joyfully, thanks to taking care of their health, Wakamou was content.
That this joyous everyday happiness was continuing…..is being destroyed?
Just because they want the ownership of the Mystery Tower? Surely, couldn’t there be more room for negotiation?
“Mr. Grim Reaper? Didn’t the Mediator say last time that if he has something to request from members of the Six Legged Beast, he’d be the one to communicate?”
“That… that’s true… This seems like the actions of those guys over there, including the Pirate and Swordsman, acting on their own accord.”
I’ve said it several times, but the Six Legged Beast had no sense of unity.
They merely follow the [Boss]. Even that had no obligation anywhere.
Beads of sweat poured down like rain as the Grim Reaper nervously observed Wakamoto.
She neither opened her closed eyes nor lost her smile, yet was emitting an invisible presence.
The intangible might was suffocating, and only because he was a combat role was the Grim Reaper able to endure.
The Beekeeper, Entomologist, and Professor trembled at a distance, unable to dare approach Wakamoto.
Mana surged fiercely, like waves, ebbing and flowing.
To a [Wizard], the terrifying scene would be enough to faint from fright-induced nausea.
Could colors of the universe that drive people mad not emit such hues?
The red light glistening in the depths exuded ominousness, as if it would pull one’s soul in.
It was as if glimpsing the far side of hell. The Grim Reaper was on the verge of losing strength in their legs.
He couldn’t comprehend even how he was speaking at this point, his mind turned utterly blank.
“I already dislike that they’re targeting people around me. But then they bring unrelated VTubers into it ─ what should I do?”
“P-Ple…Please…Have mercy…!! We’ve left the Six Legged Beast and vow our allegiance to you, Wakamoto!!”
“No, I’m not gonna harm you, so feel free to speak.”
But they couldn’t say anything.
The [Grim Reaper], unable to bear the burden, fainted from fear.
Rolling their eyes upward and collapsing like a puppet with its strings cut, the sight of him made the other three members of the [Six Legged Beast] hang their heads deeply.
And then, the fifth new member, the Illusionist, stepped forward, moving the fourth member, the Grim Reaper, aside.
More accurately, they sent forth an [Illusion] in their stead. They listened to the sounds from afar via microphone.
−Wouldn’t such blatant provocations be because they’re confident of winning?
“Do you have any information about that?”
“Yes, the German Government Copycat and the Labor Girl have shared some intel with me.”
The Illusionist referenced the Doppelgänger and the Engineer.
Even though it’s already public on the news, the Pirate raided and looted the Mystery Tower from the Explorer, and in Greece, they even stole the Mystery Tower from Penthesilea, a relatively heroic [Six Legged Beast].
At this point, Wakamoto began to wonder if the Six Legged Beast weren’t tacitly protected by countries, wasn’t it subtly shielded?
In the end, the world is meritocratic.
“It’s certain that the [Pirate] possesses a [Skill] for finding treasures, granting a huge edge in the search for the Mystery Tower. However— they need to collect “all the Mystery Towers,” it seems.”
“I see….”
Otherwise, there wasn’t any reason for such insane provocations.
Rather at this point, Wakamoto became curious about what ace they prepared to defeat him.
Knowing one’s weaknesses and gradually overcoming them, eliminating those weaknesses is the role of a VTuber.
Broadcasters must be impeccable…. like not posting nonsense on SNS, managing weaknesses is crucial as a VTuber.
Similar to how making sexual jokes once becomes irreparable..!!
And like how disheveled innocence is hard to regain!!
“Alright, the next target seems to be the Mystery Tower in Rome, Italy. Speaking of the Explorer again…. it seems like they’ve brought in the Guardian. Though I’m not sure, there are rumors of something called a 【Legendary Slayer】.”
“….Legendary Slayer?”
“There’s not much information even within the Six Legged Beast, but the talk is that similar to the Man-eater, it’s something special that renders a “Legendary Class” powerless and kills them.”
The Illusionist conveyed the sad news that the Explorer died as a result.
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A person he’s never seen didn’t matter, but Wakamoto sighed heavily at the fact that they were swept up in such awful circumstances just for being a Legendary Class and owning a Mystery Tower.
Understanding that thanks to his broadcast showing how the 【Babel’s Fragment】 grants wishes, others became frenzied wanting it.
It was unfortunate that he couldn’t turn off his broadcast when taken over by the Babel’s Fragment…..geez, his head still hurts.
“So what about their group’s members?”
“Most of the ones shown on TV seem to be it, but beyond that, it’s unknown how many 2nd Generation Legendary Classes exist there.”
“That’s all I needed to know.”
Wakamoto requested six of the Legendary Classes, including Jackson, present here, to head to Italy to monitor the [Pirate]’s movements. When Jackson asked if it would be okay to kill if necessary, Wakamoto answered casually that it didn’t matter.
By leveraging Wakamoto’s first-floor capability to facilitate international exchanges effortlessly, developing Russia and creating numerous jobs, breaking down the language barrier in the East Asian union to expand the VTuber sphere, and even forcibly resolving deep national divides to maintain peace—yet nothing seemed to work out as hoped.
They created jobs, expanded residential areas, prevented tower collapse through nurturing Climbers, thoroughly took care of the VTubers’ well-being, and wanted to set up an environment for VTubers to broadcast freely according to the dreams they envision!!
“Ugh….!! Never in life have I ever so wanted to beat something to pulp…..!!”
“P-Please calm down, Master.”
“Is it really serious if even Asuka can’t make jokes?”
“Don’t talk to me, Liu Ying….I feel like throwing up….Boss….bring down your power…. I’m dying from the mana pressure….”
The anger was not subsiding easily. Of course, it wasn’t!!
After hearing such threats, wouldn’t it be strange to get calm somehow…?
I want to beat them up. Not to the point of death─ but at least to display them upside down for attacking Sadako…..
Well, it’s just thoughts, I didn’t bring Adelheid.
She has a more important schedule doing a VTuber broadcast with Joseph.
I only brought the ever-ready Gen 0 members. The ones able to handle any situation calmly and rationally, Wakamoto arrived in Greece.
Inwardly, he wanted to head straight to Italy and wait for the Pirate to emerge, but they didn’t issue entry permits from Italy, putting him in the ridiculous predicament of waiting for the Pirate to come to Greece to fight Wakamoto.
“I’m dying here….”
Sadako, vomiting from the alcohol she drank, groaned in agony.
[Wizard] as she is, still felt like dying as Wakamoto, scattered mana due to anger, was unbearable.
It felt like I was going to die because of Wakamou, who was scattering mana all around due to anger.
We’ve only gotten used to it a bit now; on the way here, Climber-type Wizards fainted as soon as they got within a certain radius.
Even those sensitive to mana perception passed out unknowingly as they were walking.
“Asuka, your stomach hurts too?”
“You can say that after watching plane crash videos the whole flight here?”
“I was studying in case we crashed.”
“Damn, you’re right.”
Liu Ying couldn’t argue with Asuka and squinted her eyes.
Liu Ying looked around, wondering what the six legendary class members who left early and the two who were joining from Greece were doing.
Unlike Asuka and Sadako, She was neither a Wizard nor a Shaman, so it didn’t bother her that Wakamou was releasing mana uncontrollably.
It felt more like warmth in her mother’s arms…? Or just the right amount of pleasant suffocation?
Liu Ying’s keen senses enjoyed it without saying anything.
“To display such impudence in another country. Really, there’s not even an ounce of courtesy…!!”
“Stop it, are you planning to fight?”
“It’s the ultimate prey!! I don’t want to give it up to that Hunter! Without Climber hunting, what am I supposed to do!”
A man and a woman approached Wakamou’s group, breathing heavily.
One was notorious as a madman who hunted any strong creature indiscriminately, from Climbers to Six Legged Beasts.
The woman known as Predator, famous for frequently getting into fights with the Hunter.
Ironically, she was better known by the name Penthesilea than her class, a battle addict.
And beside her was the third-generation Spartan, seen before at the legendary festival.
“─Hey, Idol!! You’re the strongest among Climbers, aren’t you?! Don’t lose anywhere. I’ll take that trophy’s glory!!”
“This person… is always like that… Sigh…. Only treated as a hero in Greece….”
Was it just my feelings that Spartan’s sigh over an aged face overlapped with Manager Wanda Haye?
“Thanks to sieging the Tower in Greece to get resources and selling equipment obtained from hunting Climbers, despite the economic crisis, we’re treated as heroes. In other countries, we’re labeled criminals. It’s only because we must fight ‘strong opponents’ no matter what that there aren’t huge issues….”
“If you fight weaklings, your stats only drop!!! Do you know how that feels?!”
“I don’t know. Isn’t it better than the ancestors whispering in your head?”
Both seemed to have awful Penalties for various reasons.
“If you’re all strong folks!! Let’s fight!! I’ll defeat you and avenge that coward!!”
Watching Predator ready to fight, the first-year disciples looked on in alarm.
But among them, only Wakamou, with a smile, placed a hand on her shoulder.
“I’m not in a good mood”
Crack─!!
Cracks appeared on the pavement as the ground started to quiver.
Waves at the distant shoreline roared violently as if a tsunami was about to hit, and lightning struck a nearby tree, exploding in a bright flash next to their group.
As Wakamou, whose hand turned metallic, gripped the shoulder strongly, the bone-crushing sound echoed ominously.
Predator, held aloft, looked down on Wakamou with one shoulder caught.
“Don’t mess with my kids, okay?”
Thud.
“I don’t think I can control my strength right now…. Got it?”
A gulp was heard as Penthesilea, grimacing and holding her shoulder tightly, glared at Wakamou but did not advance.
With both the Tidal Wave of the Idol and the Weight of Faith skill being lifted, the waves and ground calmed down.
If she intended, she could probably make Greece vanish beneath the sea.
“If the Climber Hunter desires a fight, I’ll be available anytime. Care to share some stories?”
Overwhelmed by the aura even before the fight, Predator nodded, and Spartan let out a deep sigh.
….
All Europeans are Greeks.
Greek is such a remarkable country that holds a very long history and tradition. You don’t have to look far, as there’s hardly anyone unfamiliar with Greek and Roman mythology. Thanks to that, the towers in Greece often produce unique things.
Among them, the most rare is the Nectar, known as the drink of gods.
It wasn’t alcohol, but it was so valuable that Sadako even saved up money to try it once, and due to its rarity, there was no market for it. Predator got it when she conquered the tower─ just like Wakamou being a hero in South Korea, she couldn’t be dismissed in Greece.
“But, is that really your name?”
“Would you believe it if I said that I was renamed upon awakening as a Legendary Class?”
“I believe it.”
Predator nonchalantly accepted Asuka’s response, as if she was used to getting annoying questions.
“Do you know anything about Greece?”
“Laurel.”
As if she had no interest in Greece beyond Greek and Roman mythology, Predator narrowed her eyes at Wakamou’s indifferent attitude as she nonchalantly picked her ear. She had come at the request of the Greek government to share information about the Pirate, but seeing Wakamou’s reaction, she felt irritation rising.
Of course, it was she who picked the fight! Aren’t there manners to listen to others’ words?
Maybe, was she wary of idols being gods in Greece?
“There, I have to ask if you know anything about Greek VTubers.”
“What are you getting at…”
“There aren’t many VTubers who use Greece as their theme. There’s Artemis of the Blue, a VTuber with a great white shark concept, and MythosHQ, a full-fledged agency themed around Roman mythology. VTubers under their agency all use names of Greek gods. Of course, there’s also a genuine Greek language broadcasting VTuber! There’s a VTuber with a mermaid concept named Murmaider─”
“Enough!! Enough!!”
“But we just got started!! It’ll take 3 hours to hear it all!!!”
“Who would listen─!!!”
Predator growled to just hear the explanation quickly and leave.
She grumbled, wincing, that the reason for her defeat by the Pirate was due to sudden poisoning and being defensively overwhelmed, advising that if they plan to fight, they should set proper rules in the Colosseum that emerged along with the Mystery Tower.
“There, due to a peculiar environment, even if you kill someone, they don’t die. There seems to be some secret… There exists a rule to ensure fair fights. If you’re competing with the Mystery Tower at stake, that’s the only place. Also, Pirate himself chose the arena as that location.”
“People cheer for the fall and decline of heroes. Be cautious.”
Listening to their stories, Wakamou felt increasingly lost in the labyrinth.
Against Predator, she’d win by sheer numbers like Sadako did.
Facing Idol, he proposed to fight fairly in the Colosseum…?
“Oh, one more thing, someone came out as the second-generation Angel in Italy. And rumor has it that the Vatican side has a second-generation Idol as well.”
“Huh? How is Idol still alive…. oh”
Maybe it’s due to being forcibly brought back to life after being declared dead.
…..Is it purely an idol, not a VTuber? So what’s the difference?
“They say it’s the 214th generation of the 2nd generation Idol….”
“…..Excuse me, doesn’t that number seem strange?”
It seemed that having a mana count of zero still results in a death penalty. Recently, a series of incidents involving the disappearance and suspicious death of cult leaders had been occurring, as if the Idol class was going around killing people!!
And ultimately, is it resolving back to the Vatican…. Maybe it’s understandable.
Simultaneously, it seemed like the worst possible place.
Well… [Mana] extremely conflicts with [Sacredness]…..
She believed they would live strongly on their own.
Wakamou didn’t want to get annoyingly entangled with someone who might uncover her identity.
“Thanks for the information, Sparta.”
“You’re welcome. But if that’s the Idol there, what kind of idol are you, Mr. Wakamou…?”
“It’s a secret.”
With a sweet smile, dismissively avoiding the subject, Wakamou said farewell to Predator and Sparta and began moving.
Waiting for her were Manager Wanda Haye and Xiao Liang.
Among the six legendary class members, there was also a Professor, who had coincidentally come along with the manager.
Since all six members were males, it was concluded that it was better for women to stick with women.
“Manager, what are the movements of the Pirate who picked a fight with me?”
“Italy is in chaos.”
As soon as the manager spoke, Asuka displayed an internet page before Wakamou’s eyes.
“[Breaking News! Pirate attacks the Uffizi Gallery! A great champion has been defeated, and a major incident occurred where art pieces were stolen along with the Mystery Tower!]”
He was just wielding his power freely.
Seeing the Pirate casually throw the famous work known as [The Birth of Venus] over his shoulder, Wakamou couldn’t help but curse upon seeing such a renowned piece being carried so carelessly.
But it didn’t stop there; the Pirate boldly declared a challenge towards the broadcast cameras filming him.
“[Hey, Idol!! Our pirate crew is heading to the Colosseum in Greece next! It should be more mythologically fitting than the Roman Colosseum, right? Did you receive my threat to terrorize Virtual Live?]”
“This bastard, I should tear his mouth apart.”
“Please, Master, there are kids here.”
“[Honestly, it’s disgusting! VTuber or whatever!! I hate that uncanny valley! It feels repulsive like a robot poorly mimicking humans! How can you idiots follow that creepy thing around. I’ll see you there, disgusting otaku! Better be ready!!]”
“Master, I think my ears are malfunctioning.”
“No worries, your ears are fine, Asuka.”
“This guy, is he out of his mind?”
Besides Asuka, nobody else spoke. No, it felt like nobody could speak.
Such blatant provocation. He was expertly pushing Wakamou’s buttons, knowing exactly what would make her furious.
There was absolute certainty. An unwavering belief that whatever she did, she could win!
Wakamou’s brain cells, since becoming a Climber, operated at maximum speed, thinking quickly.
Considering all possible means and strategies Pirate could use, and all plausible possibilities, Wakamou blinked.
Yes…. Sometimes a demonstration is necessary indeed.
【Tower Coins】, [Additional Abilities], and [Faith]… how much had been accumulated.
All the 【Broadcast Points】 were saved up for this very moment.
“You little bastard!! I might forgive other thieves, crazy folks, bastards, but…!! I’ll never forgive you!!!!”
“Could it be that the angrier you get, the more stat bonuses you gain?”
“Seems possible……”
By this point, the fact that Pirate was provoking so desperately seemed to have a reason.
Watching Wakamou, whose murderous intent overflowed visibly from her entire body, the party thought so.
Even with witnessing such monstrous martial prowess, could he really think, “How angry could she possibly get from such provocations”?
“The navy failing to capture pirates is the reason….”
“Please, Asuka. I don’t want to die at the captain’s hands.”
Don’t say such things even jokingly.
Even Sadako was unable to drink due to the tension running high.
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