“Whew….”
I’m pretty exhausted. Not physically, but mentally.
It’s like my energy got drained. I thought I had developed some social skills from doing personal broadcasts, but it turns out that fake just can’t hold up against the real deal. Like a doppelgänger disappearing when it meets the original, I was the same.
The people in the broadcasting world were definitely born social butterflies, while I, with my acquired skills, was a floppy mess by the time the broadcast ended.
The filming itself didn’t take that long. We had some breaks led by the staff, and I even thought to myself, “Hey, they’re not treating people like slaves here.” Until halfway through, that was true.
My perspective changed after the break. I mean, it was probably the moment the guests, including me, finished introducing ourselves.
After I made the minor mistake of standing alone while everyone else was seated, it felt like the others suddenly had sparks in their eyes and were charging at me. Well, not literally charging, but that’s how it felt. Like I was the new target or something.
While there were only five fixed panel members, it really did feel like they were all on the hunt. It must have been quite the sight!
I could tell that the guests, who had welcomed me warmly before we started filming, had suddenly changed their gazes to those of predators who’ve spotted their prey.
And Camilla’s senses weren’t lying, so it was probably no exaggeration, even if describing it as “ready to pounce” might be a bit over the top.
I wasn’t an idiot, so I had a rough idea why the panel was particularly fixated on me. They probably judged me to be a decent character for the broadcast. I mean, it wasn’t exactly clear to me why standing alone while everyone else sat was worthy of such attention.
Well, these experts were definitely more professional than I was, so I didn’t want to argue. It’d be pretty ridiculous to say, “Hey guys, it’s a bit too much focus on me!” when I was already here to be on the show.
One thing that was a bummer was that I wasn’t able to fulfill my original plan.
My actual plan was to support the unfortunate idol, Sebi, as much as possible while also getting plenty of airtime for the broadcast.
But circumstances are what they are, and I couldn’t help it. All I could do now was play her song hard on the show later and do a brief promo during the talk segment…
“Thank you for your hard work.”
“Today was so funny, let’s do a broadcast together next time!”
“Sis, here’s my number. Let’s keep in touch from now on.”
As I was about to greet the fixed panelists, say goodbye to the guest stars, and finally show my face to the PD, Su Hyuk, who had recruited me.
“Oh, Kayak, you did great today. I’ve thought you’d do well since I first saw you. Now that you’ve actually done it, it’s not a big deal, right?”
He was giving orders to the staff and when he saw my face, it was as if he had been waiting to spill his thoughts. His expression was bright, meaning he was quite satisfied with today’s shoot.
However, I found it suspicious and a bit off-putting that the stern-looking PD’s face had brightened.
“PD, you told them to mess with me, didn’t you?”
This suspicion was reasonable. In the past, PD Su Hyuk had shown his fanboy side unabashedly, claiming to be a fan of mine since our early meetings.
In my broadcasts, and other broadcasts too, viewers—even the kindest ones—always have a wicked corner in their hearts, secretly wishing to see the streamers they watch suffer. In simpler terms, they are like those who enjoy tormenting others.
I had forgotten that he was a viewer due to his gentle demeanor when we first met as a broadcasting station PD, but it wouldn’t be strange for him to take pleasure in ‘killing’ me on a larger scale.
But Su Hyuk tilted his head in confusion and shook it as if to say that was nonsense.
“What? I didn’t say anything! Originally, our program is free to let the cast take care of things as long as serious issues aren’t involved.”
“Really…?”
“And this ‘tormenting’ business? It’s just that he thought Kayak’s talents should be recognized and highlighted on the broadcast.”
“That seemed to be the case.”
“I can guarantee that once this airs, people will be asking, ‘Who is this person?’”
It felt like he was talking more than during the meeting, which meant today’s shoot must have gone well. I casually listened to the director’s chatter about Kayak going nationwide and bid my farewells.
“Anyway, I’ll be on my way, PD. Thanks for having me.”
“Since we’re on the topic, I have another program coming up next month, and there will be an opening. Would you consider coming on…?”
“No, I’m good.”
“Don’t say that. Let’s talk, maybe we can go to a café nearby…”
“Thanks for your hard work!”
Maybe later, but for now, this was enough. I didn’t really need the fame anyway.
That was enough. I didn’t really need any recognition.
As I sensed they were trying to pull me into the cast again, I quickly slipped away.
*
After that day’s shoot, Kayak took a short break. She was feeling quite mentally drained.
However, her viewers were completely blindsided. Why is a break a break? It’s because you put everything down and take a breather.
She hadn’t turned on any personal broadcasts or anything. All she left was a short notice saying she’d be taking a break. There was no word on when she’d return.
This was why her fans started to panic. There was no solid reason for the break, and it seemed like only a short while ago she was streaming just fine. Suddenly, a long hiatus?
Of course, Kayak never mentioned how long she’d be off, but with her break stretching into the third day, it was already a long hiatus for those waiting for her return.
[So why isn't she coming back?]
No mention of feeling unwell, or anything going on—just poof, she’s on a break.
-Stop the break… we’re all gonna die like this.
-I’m gonna starve ㅇㅇ
-Warm up some ramen from KayakTube.
-I heard she was worn out or something.
-Isn’t she experiencing burnout?
-Streamers often get anxiety or depression; is that the case with Kayak too?
ㄴ But there were no signs??
ㄴ She was laughing and streaming just fine last time.
ㄴ Apparently, people with depression can be brighter than the average person.
Some were worried that Kayak might have mental health issues, mainly because of her note saying she felt “tired.”
It wasn’t a completely off-base guess. Kayak did indeed feel mentally exhausted. It wasn’t at a level that warranted all the fuss, though.
She was quietly resting alone in her room. Watching movies with potato chips and canned beer, trimming builds on an unknown alt account, and offering tips during Riri’s broadcast—this was her idea of a break.
Meanwhile, KayakTube’s videos were still being uploaded consistently.
One video a day. A daily upload was non-negotiable. This was the law since KayakTube’s inception, and it was the driving force behind its rapid growth.
It was a driving force that could be utilized.
Even though the owner of the broadcast was on a break, a strange phenomenon continued with videos being uploaded. However, it was obvious that they had squeezed the source somehow, as the most recent video was from a comprehensive game played three months ago. Fans praised the editor, eagerly devouring the content.
Meanwhile, there were several comments wondering if something had happened to Kayak. Those comments received a lot of recommendations. This indicated the current mainstream opinion among viewers.
Yusia, who was sensitive to community feedback and kept a keen eye on people’s reactions, certainly wouldn’t miss this.
Knowing the reason for her boss’s break, Yusia reached out to Kayak to calm the people while also looking for ways to keep them excited.
Thus, a long post appeared on KayakTube’s channel community. To summarize, it stated that Kayak was healthy and something gigantic would be revealed soon.
Something gigantic? This was the spark that set the viewers, who had been eagerly waiting for Kayak, ablaze in anticipation.
With the newly thrown bait, viewers started speculating wildly.
– Are they doing a girlfriend concept like Christmas?
– A large-scale collaboration?
– A 48-hour sleepless broadcast?
– Cosplay?
– Either way, it would be great if they just turned on the broadcast.
In the midst of all this, someone posted in a somewhat urgent tone with the title “Galju’s Public Appearance.”
Not long after, new posts began popping up above that one, featuring videos of Kayak.
– New guests on Midnight Talk!
– Kayak, who is active as a streamer! What’s the secret to getting a shoutout from a pro gamer?
– A four-member group with a unique charm. Shocking, indeed!
It was a very public-broadcast-like video. A short trailer with various sound effects and subtitles. In it, Kayak was speaking, dancing, and introducing herself.
It was a shocking twist that no one had anticipated. Even though it was just a one-minute short trailer, it caused quite a stir among Kayak’s fans who had been lingering in the gallery.
– What is this?
Someone’s quick comment perfectly reflected their feelings.
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