From the moment I was born, I knew something was off.
I mean, even a fool could figure out that I felt different from others.
I didn’t understand the emotion called sadness. When an attendant cried, I just thought they were being foolish.
Since that’s how I was taught by my father, Yuria didn’t like people who cried.
That’s why I hardly cried during my childhood.
Once I got to a point where I could think, I didn’t cry as my father had instructed.
Wasn’t being a part of Taylor expected to mean being perfect and thorough in everything?
People who cried were so far from that expectation that I tried my best not to cry, no matter what.
Not even when I got beaten or punished, did I shed a tear.
During that process, the world started to feel off again, but Yuria didn’t care about that anymore.
After all, everything happened just as father said.
My curiosity about the position of Head of the Family stemmed from that reason.
Just by saying a word, everything got done, and if I wanted something, I could get it.
I didn’t believe in God, but in the meaning of perfection, the position of Head of the Family was practically divine.
A place where one knows everything and can do everything. However, the desire for that wasn’t very great.
I just thought that someday, I might reach it.
After all, I had no brothers, so if no one else was born, I would become the Head of the Family anyway.
In the midst of all that, Robert was born. That was when I felt the situation changing.
Things were different now. The gaze of the attendants looking at me was different from when I was alone.
Being the firstborn meant something like that.
At least within the framework of a conservative noble family, the existence of the firstborn was very close to being the successor, wasn’t it?
Yuria wasn’t a fool.
She felt that Robert’s existence was a “threat” to her and began to observe him closely from a young age.
She had no intention of causing harm. No thoughts of undermining him; it was merely observation.
“…You really cry well.”
I could understand that when he was just born, but Robert, who cried a lot even as he grew up, seemed completely different from me.
He was ordinary. He didn’t particularly excel at anything, and when faced with something difficult, he was quicker to seek out our mother than to overcome it.
That was when I realized he wasn’t off like me.
I didn’t know why people cried, so I wanted to find out the reason through Robert.
Do they cry when they are hurt? But I never cried even when I was hurt.
So then, why on earth would he cry just because a pet died?
Curious about that, I tried to kill a few, but I couldn’t easily find out why Robert cried.
Instead, I just got scolded by mother.
Throughout that process, I also realized that my mother’s affection was becoming more directed towards Robert.
In reality, it was just that she was paying attention to a young child, but Yuria felt a huge displeasure towards that.
“That was mine.”
I couldn’t understand affection, but that expression she made towards Robert was one she used to make for me.
Only for me, something I solely possessed. I felt a bubbling sensation in my chest.
Something was bubbling up inside my chest.
Could this be what they call anger? Yuria quietly smiled at the emotion she felt for the first time.
It didn’t feel too bad.
I had realized what emotion was, but instinctively understood I shouldn’t express it too easily.
I naturally became accustomed to hiding my emotions.
Perhaps if I were to express this, well, it wouldn’t be until after Mother died.
Since I was already aware of Mother’s poor health, Yuria had remained a well-behaved daughter until the time of her death.
I had also stopped killing animals. I thought there was no need to understand why Robert cried.
Even without crying, it was enough to become the Head of the Family. I had no desire to resemble those who had taken what was mine.
Rather, shouldn’t I act in contradiction to Robert’s behavior?
So, I waited. Until time passed, until Mother died. Surprisingly, her condition deteriorated quickly.
Whenever Robert cried, it became hard to suppress the strange impulse I felt, so I avoided looking at Mother as she died.
What’s so great about life and death?
If it were mine, I might have cared a little, but since my affection was directed at Robert, I didn’t want to care at all.
Sniff—
Even after Mother died, Robert continued to cry. What was strange were the attendants who comforted such a child.
I had been taught that crying was something wrong, yet why did they embrace that behavior?
Crying was an action reserved for the weak who couldn’t do what they were supposed to.
Yuria thought her own actions were somewhat justified.
If I could properly correct such a weak younger sibling, surely Mother, who had passed away, would approve.
Grabbing Robert’s crying hand, I headed to the basement. It was amusing that he enjoyed playing with his sister.
Playing? The very fact that he liked such things was the problem.
“Sister, what is this?”
He innocently asked as he was tied to a chair in the basement, making me chuckle.
Soon after, with his nails pulled out, he would scream, but it was something that couldn’t be avoided to become a better person.
In reality, Robert’s behavior improved to some extent.
It was true that it wasn’t completely fixed, but he certainly didn’t cry at all times like before.
‘A little better.’
Although it was still hard to tolerate, he wasn’t as weak as he used to be.
However, it seemed that I couldn’t fix his incompetence.
While pondering how to help him, one thought kept surfacing: there were always people around Robert.
Under the name of friendship, at times the attendants would approach Robert out of pity.
Isn’t pity for the unfortunate? I couldn’t see anything unfortunate about Robert.
He was simply being scolded for not doing his part; how could he claim to be Taylor with such sensitivity?
I had no need for friends.
After all, I would eventually need them later. If I let emotions like friendship sway me and make mistakes, what would become of me?
So, I deliberately kept my distance.
I spread unflattering rumors to ensure Robert got abandoned by his friends.
“Your expression isn’t good, something must have happened?”
“…It’s nothing. Just, various things happened.”
I realized that whenever Robert’s face darkened, it meant my plan had succeeded.
At that moment, he realized he had succeeded in what he wanted to do.
By that time, Yuria had already adapted splendidly to her position as the Lady of the House.
What would happen to Robert if he became the Head of the Family?
In the past, he thought he would just receive a position following her, but as time passed, Robert seemed to become a growing threat.
He was clearly a pathetic and useless younger brother, yet he couldn’t understand why people felt affection for Robert.
He wasn’t particularly skilled with a sword, nor was he a genius with brilliant ideas.
So why did he end up making friends and garnering sympathy from others?
If such forces gathered, he might someday be threatened.
Doubts grew about the position he had taken for granted as the Head of the Family.
What if he couldn’t become the Head…? What would Robert do to him?
“I might kill you. Didn’t you do it yourself?”
Some noble said that.
He couldn’t recognize the face due to the mask, but Yuria focused more on the words than on discovering the noble’s identity.
It appeared he had done something for Robert, but it also meant he could be used as an excuse for his own death.
That was when his attitude towards Robert changed.
The interest he had shown as a brother faded away, and his mind was filled with the thought that Robert would steal the position of Head and kill him.
Should he kill him first? No, there was no need to act urgently from now on.
Such actions would only undermine his own position. It was better to keep his range of activities narrowed.
He forbade going outside so that he wouldn’t be able to leave the house. He even took away his authority to prevent him from building his own power.
As he saw Robert gradually breaking down, he felt relieved.
Even without that noble’s words, he had indeed started feeling fear towards Robert.
Even if he didn’t move like himself, forces were gathering.
His once weak character had also noticeably changed at some point, making him appear as if he had become a different person.
There was news that he yelled at the butler.
Just yesterday, Robert’s eyes, which had been too timid to speak to the attendants, had grown quite cold.
Eyes devoid of any emotion; Yuria believed that Robert was becoming flawed like herself.
Now he would understand his actions. Just as he lessened his worries about the competition for Head, Robert spoke.
“I dislike you.”
Considering that he had never even shown interest in him before, Yuria couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of his hatred.
The eyes looking at him were empty.
What thoughts were hidden in those eyes? As she got lost in such residual thoughts, she steeled her heart.
The problem was she had been too soft-hearted simply because he was her younger brother.
Now, she wouldn’t tolerate it any longer. Her obsession with the position of Head began from that moment.
If Robert became the Head, she would die. Hadn’t he said he would kill her himself?
He had even eliminated her fiancée. He was different now.
When he explicitly stated he would become the Head, she definitely felt a sense of urgency.
The once weak and insufficient younger brother was now saying he would compete with her for the position of Head.
Of course, the outcome would only include her victory. However, circumstances were not unfolding that easily.
“Sir Louis is said to be supporting Duke Taylor—”
“The situation in the North is unusual. It seems Robert Taylor personally captured Temujin—”
“It looks like the Order is supporting Robert Taylor.”
“I seem to be supporting Taylor.”
Isn’t that ridiculous? I was certain I had everything under control.
I truly believed everything flowed according to my palm.
At some point, Robert was pressing a knife against my throat.
All the years of accumulation were crumbling down.
“Were you only trying to do something with just ten people?”
Where did it all go wrong? The world I thought was simply skewed had, before I knew it, been completely flipped upside down.
The sky was below. Yuria’s world had already been turned upside down.
As the memories returned, what came to mind was why Robert had suddenly changed.
In that memory, I had superbly restrained Robert.
Sometimes, I was killed by the mad Robert, but it was always Robert who ended up dead.
Though Robert couldn’t change himself a hundred times, eventually, on the 101st try, he splendidly didn’t take his own life.
Yuria, who smiled faintly, gazed into the void.
Duke, head of the family.
That place I had so yearned for, which I had passionately desired from some moment.
The heart that had first been stolen of affection, which turned into the most ruthless greed.
The pinnacle I had spent so long constructing was collapsing.
The pavilion I believed would touch the sky, was falling down so emptily.
“Ha.”
I felt something that had been slowly cracking completely break.
Something that would never return was now completely gone.
I didn’t want to see the world from the chair that bound my body, but my body tied by magic couldn’t even choose death on its own.
-Yuria, our daughter.
The voice of my mother I had heard long ago echoed in my ears.
I didn’t know why that voice, which had only been annoying, came to mind now, but I clearly remembered where the feelings I had for Robert had begun.
Was it jealousy? Did a hundred deaths begin from such a trivial thing?
I couldn’t even muster a chuckle now.
I had become nothing more than a puppet, unable to even laugh at myself.
I didn’t even have the desire to do anything.
I just wished to live like this and die as soon as possible.
I couldn’t face the future that unfolded before my eyes, where someone else would be in the position I was supposed to be.
As darkness descended once again upon the empty basement, the woman bound to the chair continued to stare into the void.
The mind that endlessly repeated thoughts slowly began to stop, and the rationality that had always made cold judgments also solidified.
I recalled someone I had ignored long ago.
Someone who hadn’t done their job and had pitifully shed tears, ending their own life with their own hands.
Thud.
Thud.
As powerless tears fell and touched the ground, Yuria’s eyes were tightly shut.
She couldn’t accept that she had become a being even lesser than that.
However, time flowed on, and eventually, the woman who closed her eyes simply entrusted her consciousness to the space.
As time flowed until her death.
The mind that had been spinning fiercely stopped, and thoughts ceased.
Yet Yuria was still in the basement.
Probably forever, she would remain there.
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