It all started from a relic I found.
A gem that supposedly grants wishes—who would have thought it would lead to such a dreadful life?
I only wanted to undo a single twisted thing.
The relationships I had ruined, the friends, and the person I loved.
But reality wasn’t so forgiving.
Those who treated me coldly were still around, and the chances to erase my sins were scarce.
I died from failure. I pushed myself too hard and died.
Despite the overwhelming power of the relic, time kept ticking, and in the endless reincarnation, hope was nowhere to be found.
When I first died, I thought that changing my actions would lead to a difference.
I believed that by showing remorse and correcting my attitude, everything would return to normal and the people I loved would look my way again.
After dying twice, three times, and dozens of times, my mind grew increasingly weary.
Sometimes I tried to be a polite gentleman and became someone seasoned in human interactions.
I became a master at charming women, my name became a symbol of debauchery, and I even managed to seduce the princess.
But during one of those insane cycles, I had my head chopped off by that same princess.
In the end, it didn’t change the fact that every life ended in a miserable conclusion.
It felt as if the world was whispering to me.
My fate was ultimately only ruin, coaxing me to give up.
So I gave up. After a hundred deaths, I finally aimed for eternal rest…
“Ah, what a relief.”
I saw a ceiling I was so familiar with that I remembered every single pattern.
After seeing it over a hundred times, this very situation was engraved in my mind like a painting.
The clothes I wore, the bed I lay in, and soon after, the attendant coming to check if I had woken up.
Remembering my endlessly repeating daily life was tormenting.
Knowing I would still meet a miserable end no matter how submissive I acted made it worse.
Regardless, now that I had reincarnated like this, it was time to decide how to act.
How should I act this time? Until now, I had been acting solely to “stay alive.” More precisely, to live together with everyone, not just me.
Even when someone insulted me, I held back for the uncertain situations.
I kneeled and begged at times, and there were plenty of moments I acted suspiciously, thinking I could eliminate variables.
Of course, after dying a few times, that obsession faded, but looking back now, it all seemed quite pointless.
Yet now, I didn’t need to live like that.
If possible, it would be better to achieve my goals before dying.
Giving up altogether and living solely for pleasure might not be such a bad idea either.
Giving up everything and living just for pleasure wouldn’t be so bad.
Of course, since I’ve tried it once before, I’m not particularly interested in that anymore.
“Living doing what I want wouldn’t be so bad, right?”
However, there weren’t many things I wanted to do, but I still wanted to see the sea that’s located in the South.
In this area, which is close to the North and straddles the Center, there weren’t many chances to see the sea.
It seemed nice to see the sea once and repay the debt I owed to a woman who had helped me a lot in the past.
She might not remember, but hadn’t I benefited quite a bit from her in the life that was the most decent I had?
My goal was the most perfect death; if the voice I remembered from the last playthrough wasn’t mistaken…
This time, my death would probably be the last one.
Knock knock—
While I was organizing my thoughts, the door suddenly swung open with a few knocks.
It was the aged butler who entered.
I think his name was Renold. As I stared at the butler, a calm voice flowed from his mouth.
“You’ve woken up… I thought you would be sleeping in today as well. I will order breakfast soon—”
“Hey, Butler.”
I was used to the butler behaving like this toward me.
In this Taylor family, my status was truly the worst; even the butler could disregard me enough to look down on me given the pathetic state I was in at this time.
However, that didn’t mean I was actually asking to be ignored.
When I interrupted him, the butler stared at me with wide, startled eyes.
I always thought that I needed to correct that butler’s habits.
Until now, I had let it slide to survive, but do I really need to do that anymore?
“What’s my name?”
“…What?”
“Don’t make me say it twice. I asked what my name is.”
“It’s Robert Taylor.”
The butler answered slowly in a subdued voice. Yes, my name is Robert Taylor.
No matter how much I was called a good-for-nothing, and even if my end was a pathetic downfall.
My family wasn’t so flimsy that a mere butler could treat me with contempt.
“However, you seem to treat me as if we’re equals. Are you too lazy to knock on the door? If that’s the case, you might as well get rid of the door. I’m genuinely curious about which country decided that barging in immediately after knocking is appropriate.”
A nuisance, a troublemaker.
I shouldn’t be the one saying this, considering I had been executed two or three times for lowering the family’s prestige, but the name Taylor was quite effective in subjugating someone.
The butler flinched under my sharp gaze.
Yet, his voice remained calm. In fact, I was surprised that my words didn’t seem to faze him.
“If word spreads that a mere butler is entering the master’s room at will, what will happen to the prestige of the Taylors? Who will be responsible for that tarnished prestige then? Will you take responsibility for that?”
“Th-that’s not what I meant—”
“Then correct it. If you make a mistake like this again, I will report it to my father.”
The astonished butler bowed deeply several times and then said he would bring my meal with an even more respectful attitude.
As he scurried away with his tail between his legs, a thin smile unconsciously appeared on my lips.
“…It seems this side is better.”
It’s easier for the butler to keep his hands busy. It was a lesson learned through several reincarnations.
#
Has the rumor already spread that the butler got a serious scolding? The gazes fixated on me as I headed down for a meal were uproarious.
Their outright chatter was ridiculous. How easy am I to bully that they’re acting like this?
But now, I had no intention of just letting them be.
There was nothing to be afraid of, so why should I hesitate? There was no longer any need to struggle to survive.
If someone tried to kill me, I might even feel grateful.
For me, who had neither goals nor motivation, life honestly seemed that worthless.
“Must be freshly made.”
“Indeed. I instructed to make everything anew since I received orders earlier.”
Renold, perhaps shaken from the recent incident, had an excellent attitude toward me.
No, it was only natural to show such an attitude. It was a testament to how foolishly I had lived.
By the way, would they have served me cold food if I hadn’t ordered it to be made anew?
I already knew the answer to that.
Most likely, the food I would have eaten was a cold, unapproachable chunk of meat that wouldn’t even yield to a knife anymore.
Yet this time, it was a steak that cut easily.
As I savored my food with a satisfied expression, I could feel Renold subtly watching me.
…What’s with this mood ruining my appetite? As I set down my fork and glanced over, Renold opened his mouth as if he had been waiting.
“Lady of the House is on her way. What… shall we do?”
“Well, let’s see.”
My biological sister, the woman who would inherit the family after Father.
In my past life, she had given me poison, which I strangely appreciated.
I suppose it was the least painful way to die.
However, would I be able to eat properly if I saw that face while having a meal?
Just when I was about to say I’d see her shortly, the door burst open, and Yuria strode in confidently.
It seems this family has a history of barging in without permission.
It’s because they look down on me, to be precise.
As I frowned slightly, her chilling voice pierced my ears.
“You look well despite what happened yesterday. Are you not even going to reflect on it?”
“…What did I do yesterday?”
The actions of ‘yesterday’ were vividly etched in my mind, but I pretended not to know.
After all, it’s tomorrow that has lost all meaning through countless reincarnations.
Not knowing won’t change anything in the future.
When I asked back with a puzzled expression, Yuria cast me a look of disbelief.
It was my first time seeing such an expression.
Perhaps it was because I hadn’t apologized for the first time.
My life had always been about apologizing for actions I couldn’t even remember and assuming unnecessary guilt.
But now, I had no intention of living like that any longer.
With heavy steps, Yuria approached, almost brushing past the butler, and her gaze was undeniably fierce.
Her blue eyes always seemed to be filled with disdain and hatred, so I couldn’t easily meet Yuria’s gaze.
Since disdain and hatred were reflected in her gaze, I couldn’t easily meet Yuria’s eyes.
Of course, it was a story from the past. I lived like a fool, but I hadn’t committed any grave sins in my current state.
Just a trivial offense, something too shameful to even be called a sin.
So, my attitude was bold.
I locked eyes with Yuria, who stood before me, cutting the steak.
“Have you become so shameless that you can’t even apologize now? Just how much ugliness do you plan to harbor, Robert Taylor?”
“I have no intention of becoming ugly. I just thought it fitting to apologize, but only to the Duke.”
“Hah, since when did you care so much about manners? If it were that important, why until now—”
“From today.”
I answered coldly, yet calmly. It was better to believe that I held no feelings for Yuria.
I neither pitied nor hated her.
I was neither afraid nor disgusted; I simply felt nothing at all.
Yuria Taylor was, to me, nothing more than a dear sister and the Lady of the House.
There was no possibility of her being anything more. Yuria stared at me blankly for a moment.
Her eyes, which always shot sharp glares, quivered for an instant, but whether it was my imagination or not, they regained their original light.
“I intend to do just that.”
“…I’d think you lost your mind since morning. They say you scolded the butler catering to you. The only one working sincerely for you.”
Sincerely, huh? I wondered if the butler who barged into my master’s room and served cold food actually did work hard.
Renold’s shoulder trembled as our eyes met.
Did he at least have a shred of conscience left? It wasn’t even worth a chuckle.
I could clearly feel that Yuria had not the slightest interest in me.
However, this time, I couldn’t act recklessly as before.
If I mentioned the butler here, I’d lose the one useful pawn I could exploit.
Instead of taking out my frustration on me, she might just tell the butler something and kick him out.
And she might attach one of her people to keep an eye on me.
I could endure such experiences just once. So, to Yuria, who was glaring at me, I bowed my head with a rather courteous attitude.
“I apologize for causing a commotion.”
“What?”
“I should have been more cautious in my actions. I committed the mistake of causing a disturbance so early in the morning. Please, I hope you can understand with a magnanimous heart.”
There was no tone to my voice.
As I spoke, I recognized the lack of spirit behind my words, but this wasn’t meant to be heartfelt.
It was merely a silent gesture, a nudge to let it slide this time, rather than an apology for her scolding her own attendant.
To her, who kept staring at me blankly, I added one last word before turning away.
“…Lady of the House.”
I probably used to call her sister back in the day.
Such a familiar title no longer suited us. Our relationship was already twisted beyond repair.
Yuria didn’t stop me as I walked away, leaving the food behind.
She merely looked at me with trembling eyes, and there was not a trace of regret in my steps.
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