Damien…
What am I supposed to do with him now…
I had some acquaintance with the other siblings, but with Damien… I barely ever saw his face. He was usually off carrying out the Emperor’s orders.
After the battle, I met him just once. But even then, Damien was super stiff.
But honestly, in a way, he might be in the best condition among us.
Because Damien showed the least difference between how he was before the battle and how he is now.
“Hi.”
As I approached him and said that, Damien tilted his head.
“Are you doing well?”
In response to my question, Damien stared at me and answered.
“Can’t complain. I don’t have to fight for my life, after all.”
See? He answers like this.
Talking to him is extremely annoying, you know.
“I came to ask you a few questions today.”
“……”
Damien didn’t bother to answer and just kept staring at me. I decided to interpret that look as a yes.
“Why did you follow the Emperor?”
“He saved me from hell.”
Damien answered immediately.
“Didn’t you have any interest in power or anything like that?”
“My life in the back alleys was tough, so getting to become a prince seems good enough to me.”
…Well, that’s not entirely wrong.
Moreover, when the Emperor was at his peak, the powerful nobles in the country couldn’t afford to treat the Emperor carelessly at all.
So, thinking about pushing the Emperor out or pushing aside the successor he appointed is not very wise at all.
“The one who made your life that way could be the Emperor himself, you know.”
“I thought about that for a long time. I’ve had plenty of time to think since I got here.”
Lucas thought the same way too.
At first, he begged to be let out as fast as possible so he could confront the Sword Saint, but every time I went to see him, he got gloomier and eventually said he couldn’t forgive himself and started spouting some weird stuff.
If a person doesn’t do anything, they end up overthinking things, you know? Didn’t we all have all kinds of thoughts while standing guard in the army?
“In the end, that’s how things turned out. If the Emperor hadn’t engaged in power struggles from the start, the royal family would have collapsed somehow. The one who held it together was the Emperor.”
“Do you think it was a necessary sacrifice?”
“No. I don’t think so. More like… it just had to happen.”
I kind of get it, but at the same time, I don’t.
“Wasn’t it something that didn’t apply to you since you could turn back time and change the events?”
“……”
I didn’t even know how to respond to that.
“Wasn’t it because of that situation that you could be there?”
“……”
I could only nod at that.
That I, having no blood relation, could become a crown princess was because Lucas, one of the Emperor’s children, found me interesting.
The reason Lucas was watching the orphanage where Claire and I were was that the Emperor was trying to sift out children with great potential from his scattered bloodline.
From my perspective, it was primarily because ‘there was a game,’ but based on this world’s standards, if the Emperor hadn’t done that, the subsequent story might not have existed.
Alice might have been living a much more miserable life than now, and the kids who were having decent times at the academy might be fighting each other over power.
It’s not the best scenario, but at the same time, it is the best. That’s the situation we’re in.
“So, you don’t really hold a grudge?”
Damien shrugged.
“There’s nothing that can change by killing someone now. It’d just break the peace instead.”
“Hmm…”
When I made an ambiguous expression, for the first time, Damien asked me with curiosity.
“What’s your reason for trying to gather us like this?”
“Because we’re brothers and sisters.”
“Not a very logical reason, huh?”
“Do I look like someone who cares about logical reasons?”
Damien stared at me for a while and then spoke.
“Honestly, I thought that. I thought you were the type to choose only the options that are beneficial for yourself and leave your own mark on the world. The Emperor thought the same way.”
That assessment about me is way too grand.
But I guess that was the impression I left on him.
I shrugged off my awkwardness and said, “It was all an act.”
“But it was good.”
Damien smiled slightly for the first time.
“In the end, you created the world you wanted.”
“……”
I felt myself shivering at Damien’s praise. That gave me the creeps. Ugh. It was different from what Jayden usually said. He’s usually expressionless, and I think that’s why.
“Anyway, I came here with a completely illogical reason. What about you? Do you want to spend time together with your siblings?”
“What would we do if we spent time together?”
“……”
I was at a loss for words.
“Uh… anything?”
“If that’s the case, is it okay to just stay still and do nothing?”
“Right?”
I frowned slightly and looked at Damien.
“You just want to do nothing, huh?”
“Well, I didn’t know I wanted that until now.”
Damien thought for a moment and then said,
“I haven’t really rested since childhood. Back in the alley days, if I stole bread and didn’t run, I’d starve. And where to eat that bread secretly was crucial. If I got pickpocketed, I had to find a hiding spot that was just mine while keeping an eye on where to hide it and regularly change hiding spots to not get caught.”
“……”
“After living a life like that, once I became a prince, I was deployed for various missions in different countries. They were all faraway places, and they were jobs that required constant thinking. So… yeah. I haven’t really rested until now. I didn’t even know what resting was.”
“So, you mean to say you actually like the current situation?”
“Yeah. There’s food, I won’t freeze to death, and there’s plenty of clean water to wash up with.”
Surprisingly humble, huh?
No, actually, it fits his image, I guess.
“If you can’t trust me, then I can’t help that.”
“…… Are you perhaps at a loss about what to wish for because you haven’t tried many things?”
To my question, Damien tilted his head again.
“Is that so?”
“Well, kind of… um, I’m not sure.”
Honestly, I totally relate to his words.
There are times I just want to do nothing too. Lately, I’ve been way too busy.
“If you want to do nothing and just stay still, can’t you just do that here?”
“Huh?”
Did he finally read my expression? Damien made a suggestion.
“It seems like there are no time limits during visitation hours. So, why not just say that you’re spending necessary time for conversation and just sit around doing nothing?”
For a second, I almost fell for that temptation.
Bring a sleeping bag and lay it out anywhere on this floor and just lie down? No one would touch me during that time? That was a brilliant idea, but…
“I’ll pass.”
I shook my head.
Yeah. Just because I don’t work, it doesn’t mean the issues I haven’t dealt with will just deal with themselves.
I wasn’t in a position to take over any important parts of the royal family yet, but Alice was already planning to make me work hard after graduation.
It would be problematic if I started procrastinating.
“Really? It’s your choice, so do as you wish.”
What’s up with that?
Why is he suddenly so irritating?
Up until now, Jayden was number one on my irritation list, but now this conversation just switched the ranking in an instant.
He had this attitude like he’s broken free or something, which was pissing me off. I wanted to ask him to do something.
But in this situation, there’s no way to make him do anything, so it annoyed me even more.
“Anyway, that means you really don’t care about anything right now? You’re saying you’d come if I called you?”
“…… That would be the case, I guess.”
Damien looked at me and spoke.
“Are you aiming for the Emperor’s throne or what?”
“Am I crazy? I’m just thinking of going somewhere to relax and then coming back.”
“…… That in itself is… a bit shocking.”
“Everyone seems to look at me weird when I first bring it up.”
I let out a small sigh and said,
“But honestly, haven’t we had a time like that? I don’t recall us ever gathering around a table for a meal.”
“Not just rarely, but there’s probably never been such a time.”
“See?”
Of course, Damien still had that ‘so why does it matter?’ expression, but I simply shrugged.
“Then, does that mean I can consider you joining? Do you have to eat with the other kids to come?”
“…… There’s really no option of not going, is there?”
“Still, feelings matter, you know.”
When I said that, Damien tilted his head again.
… Is it really okay to be this relaxed?
No matter how I think about it, I’m envious. Damn it.
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