When I think about it, it’s quite rare for me to use “Father” or “Mother” since I came here.
Even when I was the Emperor’s child, I thoroughly called him “Your Majesty.” To be honest, it wasn’t just because I didn’t want to call him “Father,” but also because of his position. No matter how much of a child you may be, when calling your own father, you have to prioritize his status over “Father.”
In that sense, the words “Mother” and “Father” that I used in this world were just words to deceive my counterparts and put myself in a more advantageous position.
Just being at Grace’s Estate means I don’t have to worry about my life. They raise all the orphans they take in to ensure they belong to their family. It’s not that they use them as meat shields or anything; they provide housing and food and treat them as proper servants.
However, at that time, it was a troublesome situation according to my standards.
No matter how well cared for I was as a servant, I was still just a commoner. The gap in status was too great to have a decent conversation with Alice and Claire, the Crown Princesses.
To properly exchange opinions with those two, I needed to be a noble, and I had to utilize my abilities to become a daughter of Grace’s Estate. And that process was something that everyone knew along the lines of “Claire became the daughter of Grace’s Estate,” so it was possible to attempt it.
The process by which I came to call Baroness Grace “Mother” itself was full of lies.
“Mother.”
Yet, here I was, calling Baroness Grace “Mother” now.
“That’s right, Sylvia.”
And Baroness Grace replied with a smile on her lips after hearing my words.
“You finally came back.”
“……”
Listening to the “Mother” in front of me, I was at a loss for how to continue the conversation.
I had no intention of going back into Grace’s Estate and living as their daughter. And it was impossible, anyway. I already had the status of a Crown Princess and was even directly in line for succession, right after the Crown Princess. If I said I wanted to become a daughter of the Baron now… who would listen?
I’m sure Baroness Grace knew this fact as well. After living as a noble for her entire life, she might have felt it even more deeply than I did.
“But, I……”
I thought I had to somehow mention that fact, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak.
How should I explain this?
There’s a saying about children born of the heart. Even if there’s no shared blood, it refers to the children who are lovingly raised as real children.
To Baron and Baroness Grace, I was such a child.
Even though there was Leo, who truly carried the blood of Grace, I never felt discriminated against while being their daughter compared to Leo. If anything, since I was a girl, perhaps I was considered more precious because I was a daughter who didn’t know how to fight.
I never worried about it at all, but I felt relieved to think about how much Claire must have been loved while growing up in Grace’s Estate.
That’s why I wasn’t sure if it was okay to use the word “Mother.”
It wasn’t unconditional love; I had only become their adopted child based on conditions, so I just thought it was a ridiculously calculating relationship.
“It’s okay.”
But before I could say anything, “Mother” spoke.
“Since then, I’ve thought a lot alone. Why did a child who held the title of Crown Princess want to become my daughter? What was she aiming for? What did she want when she came down here? Why did she interact with so many people and act differently from before?”
“Mother” said this to me.
“But the conclusion I came to was just one. I thought of you as my daughter. No, you were my daughter. I decided not to think of anything else. You were the child we accepted because we liked you, and that’s why I thought of you as my precious daughter. That alone was enough for me.”
“……”
“So, there’s no need to apologize. We were happy to have a kind, smart, and beautiful daughter like you.”
I couldn’t respond at all.
*
In fact, it could have been a moment to tease me.
So, despite how it appears, I have successfully maintained a cool beauty concept for quite a long time. Although right now, that concept is completely shattered, and there’s no way to restore it.
When you’re trying to hold onto a concept, the biggest risk comes when that concept breaks. Especially, there’s nothing more embarrassing than being caught acting emotionally when you’re supposed to be emotionless.
For a cool beauty, it would be ideal to slowly rediscover their emotions. Not like me, who broke down in an instant.
However, if such a person had cried to the point of their eyes turning red, honestly, it would be teasing for others, right?
But Alice, Claire, and Leo looked at me with immense pity.
“……”
Well, at least the feeling of sitting on a bed of thorns has largely disappeared.
There were many things to talk about other than teasing, too.
To use Alice’s gaze as an example, she could say, “I’ll allow you to call Baroness Grace ‘Mother’ as a Crown Princess, but don’t do it in front of others.” We could act like that because we have such memories, but if it caught the eyes of other nobles, things could become complicated in many ways.
Of course, I knew that Baron Grace wouldn’t care a bit for such nonsense rumors. But for Crown Princess Alice, it could be deadly serious. Baseless rumors tend to grow unexpectedly in ways that were totally unpredictable.
Yet, Alice didn’t bring that matter up. Neither did Claire or Leo.
Baroness Grace… I mean “Mother” excused herself from the conversation.
“Why don’t you stay a bit longer and have dinner before you leave?”
She asked before I left, and I just kept my mouth shut and nodded.
She probably wanted to have this kind of conversation with “Father” as well.
…We owe so much, so I think we should at least return that much. It’s the least a “child” can do.
“Have you calmed down a bit?”
Alice cautiously asked that.
I nodded.
The reason I hadn’t opened my mouth was simple. I was afraid that if I answered, a choked voice would come out.
“Thank goodness.”
Claire said while patting her chest, sporting a bright smile on her face.
“Now I can call you ‘Sister’ confidently.”
“No, you called me that confidently before.”
Leo, sitting next to her, said in disbelief, but Claire smoothly ignored him.
“Now I’m really your sister, right?”
Claire said that almost as if to double-check with me, and I nodded again. I still didn’t feel like saying anything. My throat still felt tight.
My sleeves were already damp. In my rush to dry my eyes, I had even forgotten I was carrying a handkerchief. By the time I took it out, my sleeves had absorbed as much of the tears as they could. Of course, the handkerchief was in a similar state now.
Come to think of it, it was my mother who told me to carry a handkerchief.
“So… what should I do?”
Leo, hearing Claire’s words, spoke up.
“Should I call you ‘Elder Sister’?”
“……”
I raised my head and looked at Leo quietly.
“Why not?”
Leo protested after getting a different reaction from me, but Claire, sitting next to him, clicked her tongue.
“Calling you that sounds too teasing. It feels overly formal and lacks the intimacy of family.”
“Is that so?”
No, it’s not really that.
I was just embarrassed that Leo referred to me as “Elder Sister.”
“Right. There’s no way you could be my brother.”
Claire said something a bit off-point.
“Well then, can I just call you ‘Sister’?”
No, that’s not what the problem is.
But then again, it would also feel a bit wrong to leave Leo out. Since Leo and Claire definitely see each other as siblings. If I wanted to get in between that, I shouldn’t avoid being addressed that way.
“Sister?”
“……”
Well, what can you do?
It might be better than calling me “Elder Sister.”
“Then,”
Alice, who had been watching the scene with a content expression, finally spoke up.
“Sylvia is my sister, so both of you are my siblings.”
“Eek.”
Claire made a genuinely disgusted face at Alice’s words.
“Why am I your sibling? Have you ever called me ‘Sister’?”
None… right?
Thinking that some dark history might resurface, I tried to stop my thoughts.
“I don’t mind if Alice calls me ‘Sister.’”
“Anyway, you’re my sibling too, so it doesn’t matter.”
“Eek.”
…Let’s avoid that issue for now.
Somehow, the feeling of sadness had flown away, carrying me along with the silly conversation.
Listening to the gradually heated back-and-forth between the two, I reached for my cold teacup.
It seems I’ve been giving off a sisterly vibe. Well, if I were to say that, both Claire and Alice would surely be shocked.
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