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Chapter 177

Anyway, my flailing to somehow get into the water worked out quite well.

It’s not like I came all the way to the coast just to mess around. I ate this and that, ran around together, soaked up the hot sun, and then jumped in the water to cool off.

I can’t quite recall who went in first. I just came to my senses and realized I was already in the water.

Speaking of which, how long has it been since I played in the sea?

Years? No, I think it was almost a different life. When I was at the Imperial Palace, I could hardly think about coming to a place like this.

Every time I looked at Alice, I was way too tense, but it seems I was just as nervous myself.

I’m not sure if I managed to keep a blank expression while playing in the water, but Claire and Alice seemed to be having a blast.

Since we didn’t go deep, we didn’t really need to swim. Maybe Claire was trying to be considerate in her own way?

“Lady Crowfield.”

Of course, there was someone sitting there with a stubborn expression as if they absolutely would not enter the water.

“Mugh!?”

Ah, but it wasn’t exactly a stubborn face.

Mia Crowfield, with her mouth stuffed full of fruit, made an expression as if I might try to talk to her. I felt a bit guilty.

“May I sit next to you?”

The sand on the beach was surprisingly soft, as if someone had deliberately gathered it. There were no sharp rocks mixed in.

Next to Mia Crowfield were the slippers of children carelessly sprawled out. At first, everyone had their shoes on when entering the water, but somehow, everyone was barefoot now.

“Ah, yes, yes.”

After somehow swallowing the fruit in her mouth, Mia Crowfield replied.

I sat next to her, brushing my wet hair behind my ears.

Of course, there was a mat laid out. There was also an umbrella. But for some reason, the grains of sand, being so small, seemed to be slowly invading the mat as if blown by the wind.

The reason Mia Crowfield was holding the plate was probably because she was worried about sand getting on the fruit.

Not that I was trying to look, but there was a lot of sand stuck to Mia Crowfield’s legs too.

“Are you not planning to go in?”

Considering she was wearing a swimsuit.

As I sat down, the water running off my body dripped onto the mat spread out on the sandy beach, forming a small puddle. The sand that had slightly risen sank quickly.

“Ah… well…”

Mia Crowfield hesitated for a moment.

“I’ve never been in the water before… I’m a bit scared.”

That’s understandable.

There are actually quite a few people like that. Those who come to the sea but only stare vacantly at the water without going in.

“I see.”

I just replied shortly like that.

“……”

“……”

We both stayed silent for a while.

Why did I sit here?

While chewing on that awkwardness, I blamed myself from a few seconds ago.

No, the mat is big, right? There are plenty of places to sit other than here—why did I end up sitting right next to Mia Crowfield?

Of course, this was the spot that got the proper shade from the umbrella, and it would have been even more awkward to sit far away just because it felt weird.

Still, I had casually started a conversation during the banquet, but thinking about it now, there wasn’t really a reason to do that here.

Wouldn’t it be weird to act overly familiar?

“Um…”

But luckily, Mia Crowfield didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving me in silence.

“Why are you taking care of me like this?”

Taking care—

Uh, well, I wasn’t exactly taking care of her.

…Was I? If she keeps coming over here like this, it must mean I’m somehow taking care of her, right?

Mia Crowfield didn’t seem to have anyone else to talk to aside from us. Although she was pretty, there were rumors about her not being on good terms with the royal family.

Plus, thinking about it, the Crowfield estate was originally part of Velbur territory. Among the neighboring areas, Crowfield estate was the largest, with plenty of Velbur-related folks living there.

That said, it doesn’t mean Crowfield is of Velbur blood. Anyway, with all kinds of tricky histories mixed in, it certainly wasn’t easy for people to become friendly. I suppose only someone like the student council president, Duke Lindbergh, could invite Mia Crowfield without a second thought.

Also, another reason people might have a hard time approaching her is Mia Crowfield’s own aura.

She always slightly covered her face with her bangs and bowed her head to hide her face. Plus, at the start of the semester, she openly antagonized me.

I guess, growing up under a mother like that, she couldn’t be bright and cheerful, right? She practically received revenge like a programmed education.

“Are you acting this way because of the stories you got tangled up in before?”

Mia Crowfield asked, her voice quiet.

That must be a story she didn’t want to bring up. The tale of how her father, who wasn’t just an ordinary man, committed acts no human should…

“……”

I didn’t feel the need to answer.

I don’t regret having killed the Count. If I hadn’t, far more kids… would have suffered the same fate. Besides, I also could have ended up in a similar situation.

But that doesn’t change the fact that the remaining child is pitiful.

If I hadn’t seen this child in the original work, and only judged her based on my first impression when we met, I would have only held an abstract feeling of animosity.

But I remember her trying to acknowledge what her father had done, striving to change the situation somehow.

That’s why I suppose I can’t just leave it be.

“I often think about it. If my father were alive, what kind of life I would be living. Maybe my mother wouldn’t have become so sharp, and I might have received my father’s love like other kids.”

“……”

“But at the same time… if my father hadn’t passed away, those children would have continued to die.”

“Would you have wished for another way?”

“…I’m not sure.”

Mia Crowfield spoke while staring blankly ahead. She seemed lost in thought.

“I spent the whole vacation locked in my room thinking about it. If my father hadn’t died… maybe, just like I mentioned earlier, I would have grown up receiving my parents’ love…”

I listened quietly as she spoke.

“Just the thought that ordinary life might not have continued makes me feel uneasy.”

Mia Crowfield said in a somber voice.

“My father… did drugs, and how did those children… how did my mother see him? Did she just see him as a tool? Did she feel even a little jealousy? She claimed to love my father, but how many people would actually tolerate a husband who acts that way?”

“……”

“Maybe, my mother’s blind love for my deceased father was completed because he passed away… she might have delved into revenge, forcing herself not to think about anything else.”

“Did you feel that kind of atmosphere?”

“When I was one-on-one with my mother, she always spoke of revenge.”

Mia Crowfield continued.

“I used to think it was natural, but it felt strange. Why does she only talk about that when we converse? Why does she never speak of my father?”

I quickly reached out to catch the tray she was about to drop as her hands went slack. “Thank you,” she muttered quietly and continued.

“So, I tried it. I brought up my father while talking one-on-one with my mom.”

She said she screamed and covered her ears.

“And then I realized, ah, I’ve been living in a not-so-good place until now.”

“……”

Uh, well.

I mean, I appreciate that she’s sharing what’s been on her mind, but since I completely didn’t expect to hear something like this out of the blue, I’m not sure how to respond.

“Do you blame me for killing my father?”

“……”

Mia Crowfield sat quietly.

“Did Your Highness ever think of leaving your father alive?”

“……”

No, she didn’t.

If she were a somewhat decent person, she would have thought of just refusing the mission and running away, but the evidence I searched for time and again was nothing but horrifying.

“I guess this conversation is just going to be parallel lines.”

“I think so.”

As I spoke, lost in thought, Mia Crowfield nodded as well.

“But at least we got to understand why we did what we did.”

“…Yes.”

Mia Crowfield sat silently, looking ahead.

“And I’ve found something I need to do. Something new, other than revenge.”

“Best of luck with that.”

“It better go well.”

At that moment, I handed the fruit tray I had been holding to Mia Crowfield.

And only then did she seem to realize what kind of conversation she had just had, her face turning red.

Somehow, it felt like I could just address her by her name from now on.


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