Memory seems to care little about how long it has been or how long it will last.
Rather, it’s those unforgettable, intense kinds of memories—whether they’re positive or negative—that play a significant role in one’s life; those are the ones that are hard to forget.
To these kids, I suppose that’s where I stand.
The story was getting long, and it felt a bit awkward to just stay in the lobby, so we all flocked to the dining hall of the building.
In the dining hall, some other kids and adults were sporadically having their meals. However, the place was spacious enough that we didn’t have to chase anyone away as we settled in one corner.
There were some people casting curious glances our way, but at least it seemed like they knew who we were, as there wasn’t anyone trying to interfere. That must mean they were raised well.
Claire waved her hand to prevent those people from getting up. After a light nod in greeting, we occupied our corner in the dining hall.
For a while, I listened to the kids’ stories.
It was as if they wanted to tell me their tales, as the kids kept sharing how they had been living since coming here.
At first, they received education at the orphanage, and as they grew older, they talked about how they wanted to work at Grace’s Estate—of course, none of them ever thought about escaping Grace’s Estate. Having spent their childhood in such a place, they probably couldn’t easily give up a place where they could live without freezing to death, starving, or being beaten.
As they slowly continued their stories, the kids looked at me with glimmers of hope in their eyes.
Perhaps they wanted to hear my story.
But…
Hmm.
Sorry, but I can’t share anything right now; all I could do was listen quietly to their tales.
Did my atmosphere feel heavy? Or maybe their topics were running dry from all the sharing?
As the story voices gradually dwindled, there came a point where there wasn’t a single person left in the dining hall.
“……”
“……”
A brief silence fell.
For some reason, Alice was keeping an eye on me, and Claire seemed to be hoping I would say something.
But I still didn’t know what to talk about.
Could I really share an honest story back to the kids who opened up about their lives?
Could I admit that I hadn’t tried to save them when I was escaping?
Would I confess that my act of sharing food with them was just a cheap pity for kids who might not live long? Could I say that to the kids who think I’m a benevolent figure?
…..
No, of course not. I wasn’t that honest or brave.
And just at the end of that brief silence, one person finally spoke up.
“Um,”
It was Daniel.
The noise in the dining hall consisted only of the kids shifting in their seats, soft breaths, and the clanging coming from the kitchen. So, even though it was just a single word, Daniel’s voice was extraordinarily loud. It was a sound that would have gone unnoticed, under normal circumstances.
As all eyes shifted toward him at once, Daniel appeared flustered. His face quickly turned red.
It seemed he was still a bit lacking in his training as a butler. Someone at his level shouldn’t be so easily readable.
Well, Daniel was still young. I didn’t suppose the one working now would quit right away either. He had plenty of time to learn.
……Unless, of course, a war broke out and he was dragged off to be cannon fodder.
“May I ask you one thing?”
But Daniel soon regained his courage and asked. His face was still a bit red, and his eyes were trembling, but he evidently had something on his mind.
The kids’ gaze shifted back to me from Daniel.
I hadn’t heard the question yet, but they seemed very curious about whether I would answer or not.
“Yes, please do ask.”
If it was too sensitive a topic, I wouldn’t be able to answer, but if I just turned around silently and left… I thought that would make this reunion meaningless, so I replied that way.
Still, I wanted to answer if it was something I could.
“……Um, that hair of yours,”
Daniel swallowed hard and continued.
“Was it that short from the beginning?”
I felt the kids staring at me intently.
In their memories, my hair must have been quite long. When I was at the orphanage, I had no tools to cut my hair. Perhaps that old woman thought it better for the kids to have longer hair since they could change their hairstyles freely once they were sold off—according to the whims of the owner and all that.
“I had long hair in my childhood.”
Not long after I started living in the Imperial Palace, I cut it short.
“Um, can I ask why you cut it?”
“It was uncomfortable.”
Running around was a hassle.
I had considered tying it up in a ponytail, but the act of waking up every morning, washing, and tying my hair was quite a chore. Plus, longer hair took much longer to dry.
“I’m quite active.”
“Ah….”
Maybe he thought there was a deeper story behind it. Daniel’s face got a bit redder at my straightforward answer.
I absentmindedly raised my hand to touch my hair. Although I touched my hair every morning, it felt incredibly soft to the point that I couldn’t believe it was actually growing from my head.
“Would longer hair suit me better, do you think?”
When I asked Daniel this, his previously red face became even redder.
With his head bent low, Daniel stammered, “I, I think… even now…” His voice trailed off in a mumble at the end, making it hard to catch.
Well, I’ll take that as a compliment.
After all, nobody would dare tell a crown princess, “That hairstyle doesn’t suit you, maybe you should change it.”
*
As it was written in the letter, Grace’s Estate truly was a peaceful and lovely place. It was almost a miracle that such a space existed just a bit inside the bustling city. While it wasn’t entirely free of noise from afar, the sounds cutting through the humid summer air felt distant, as if they belonged to another world.
Or perhaps I had just let my guard down since I knew the kids I remembered were still living here.
“Your hair.”
Sitting under a shady spot overlooking a lawn, I was staring vacantly at the greenery when Alice suddenly spoke up.
When I turned to look, Alice was still facing forward, speaking quietly.
“Are you thinking of growing it out?”
“……I don’t know.”
“It seems long hair would suit you.”
From the other side, Claire’s voice chimed in.
“I think it wouldn’t be a bad idea to grow it out someday.”
I turned my gaze back to the front and replied.
In the distance, I could see a few red brick buildings. Outside Grace’s Estate, the city still spun around like a factory.
“But not right now.”
Yeah, not right now.
There was still so much to do before I could think about growing long hair.
At the very least, for the kids next to me—
And once I confirmed that all the characters I liked made it out safe at the conclusion of the main story, and also after ensuring that those kids I impulsively saved were all safe here as well.
Once I firmly confirmed that there was no need to turn back time again, taking it slow to grow my hair long wouldn’t be a bad idea.
I wanted to avoid the mishap of having my hair long only for it to start over from scratch because I turned back time.
“When you do grow your hair, I’ll teach you pretty ways to tie it up.”
Claire, who had become a master in tying her hair into a ponytail from doing it every day, said.
“What are you talking about? Sylvia should just leave her hair down. No need to ruin her beautiful hair by tying it up, right?”
Alice countered.
“You have a lot of running around to do—”
“On the contrary, a dignified hairstyle would suit a crown princess—”
The two soon started bickering back and forth, with me stuck in the middle.
……It seems trivial, but it’s exactly like sisters fighting.
Will there come a day when I’ll look back and say, ‘Ah, those were the days’?
……I guess I’ll have to try to make that happen.
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