“Uju, I brought coffee.”
“Oh, you’re already back? I’m sorry for bothering you.”
“No worries, it’s not a bother.”
After buying the coffee and returning by car, Uju took the coffee with a somewhat flustered expression.
I tilted my head slightly at that ambiguous attitude, but seeing Uju step out of the car and head towards the beach with a nonchalant expression made me wonder if I was just misinterpreting things.
Plod. Plod.
So we walked along the sandy beach, each holding a cup of coffee. The feeling of our feet gently sinking into the sand was always pleasurable.
“It feels cool even though it’s summer.”
“Right? I thought the beach would be hot with the tropical nights.”
As the pleasant breeze blew from the beach, it didn’t really feel like summer. Maybe that’s why people try to escape to the beach every summer.
Although I realized I hadn’t gone to the beach for a vacation since I was a kid.
“Ah, hot….”
Uju, who carelessly attempted to gulp down the coffee as usual, realized too late that it was hot and quickly pulled back, leaning away.
I had asked them to make it a little less hot just in case, which seemed to have prevented any mishaps. That was foresight.
“Heh, is it really hot?”
“A bit hot, yeah. I guess I should live as a cold drink advocate.”
Why do it if you weren’t going to, anyway?
I almost blurted that out, but watching Uju being cute made me smile instead. I guess I’m also pretty deep in this.
“You’re really sensitive to heat, Uju. It’s the opposite for me.”
“I guess you don’t like the cold.”
“Yeah, when it’s cold, people get lazy and sluggish. I hate that.”
“…I get lazier when it’s hot, actually. I can’t go outside at all.”
‘But at least since this year I have a car, it’s better now.’ Uju wryly smiled as they tried to cool down the coffee by opening the lid and blowing on it.
Somehow, their childlike appearance made me chuckle, but I turned my head to stifle my laughter, not wanting Uju to feel bad.
For some reason, it reminded me of when my younger cousin came to our house and cooled down soup.
“By the way, how do you feel looking at the sea, sister?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“I meant if your feelings have gotten better. You’ve looked out of sorts at the company these past few days.”
“Ah….”
So it was indeed what Secretary Kim mentioned. The timing had been suspiciously spot on.
I want to dismiss it as unnecessary meddling, but… today, I can’t help but convey my gratitude for that meddling. I just wanted to see Uju that much.
“…Yeah, I’m okay. Looking at the sea has definitely helped a bit.”
“Glad to hear that.”
Honestly, it wasn’t the sea that made me feel better, but rather the fact that I was looking at you. But I couldn’t bring myself to say that.
It’s not that I’m embarrassed. I’ve made much more cringeworthy declarations in the past.
It’s just that words I easily spoke in the past seem so hard to say now. Maybe it’s because I feel guilty towards Uju.
“Sister, can I ask you one thing?”
“Go ahead.”
As I answered while organizing my hair blown by the wind, I felt a strange sense of déjà vu.
Now that I think about it, this situation often occurred between me and Uju. Although back then, I was the one asking questions, and Uju was the one giving permission.
Feeling amused by the déjà vu, Uju opened their mouth again.
“Is the reason you’ve been feeling down these days because of me?”
“Uh, no way. Instead, I feel like I’m getting strength from you.”
I never thought Uju would be oblivious to that. So, answering wasn’t difficult. It was the expected sequence of words.
The part that needed clarification was that Uju thought my struggles were because I had feelings for them. I shook my head without hesitation to correct that.
I have never struggled because of Uju. They have always been my source of strength, my vitamin.
Even when I wavered for a moment, it was Uju who helped me regain my focus, reaffirming that my path was right. So I hope they don’t misunderstand sadly like that.
This is all my fault for being weak.
“Actually, I brought you here today to confess again.”
“…Yeah, I thought that might be the case.”
I nodded calmly while trying to smile.
I had vaguely sensed that mood from Uju. If I were to describe it, it was the resolute air of a man making a firm decision.
“You’re not surprised?”
“No, I was really surprised. It’s not just that you indulged this whims of mine, but you’re still willing to say you like me.”
Honestly, I thought it wouldn’t be strange if Uju stopped liking me at any moment. The time I waited for Uju and the time Uju waited for me had entirely different meanings.
Back then, I was simply in a one-sided position, waiting for Uju to acknowledge my feelings. Now, even though we both know we like each other, we’re in a stagnant state.
The reason for that is simply me.
I wondered if what they called ‘keeping someone on a string’ felt like this. That thought crossed my mind because my behavior right now was incredibly foolish and rude.
That’s why I would be prepared for the moment Uju gave up and came to me saying, ‘I’m tired.’
Even though my own powerlessness was painfully clear, making me angry and frustrated, if I see it as a consequence of playing with someone’s heart, it feels like a cheap price to pay.
Even so, Uju is still speaking.
They haven’t given up on their feelings for me.
But that’s only because they don’t know that all the appearances I’ve shown Uju are nothing but lies. They think I haven’t betrayed myself, so they can still look at me with such kind eyes.
“…Thanks, Uju. But I don’t deserve to hear such words from you.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m a liar. At least, since I came this far without being able to confess that… I don’t deserve to be with you.”
Honestly, I don’t think very badly of the word ‘giving up.’
In business, there’s nothing more foolish than someone who doesn’t know when to give in or not. Knowing when to enter and when to exit, and when to bow your head are what make someone the most suitable talent for success in this world.
And while I’ve surely given up a lot taking over and growing my father’s company, I’ve never felt a sense of loss from giving up.
But perhaps for the first time in my life, at this moment, I’m feeling a sense of loss along with the thought that I ‘should give up.’
I know in my mind.
At least if I don’t have the courage to reveal all the truths I’ve hidden until now, then to remain as just good sisters and friends, I should turn around here.
That means giving up on Uju.
But it’s still fine. If I can still watch Uju smile as a fan like before, it wouldn’t be the worst thing.
But what’s contained in that is only ‘Streamer Cosmo.’ What I truly want is ‘Man Kang Woo-joo.’
And if you ask me which one I’d prefer right now, of course, it’s the latter. This means I would have to give it up forever. Just imagining that is painfully heartbreaking.
‘What would happen if there were no Uju for me?’
It’s something I haven’t dared to imagine since I got to know Uju.
Could I truly clap my hands as I watch Uju smile next to another girl?
Wow, if I see a notice saying you’re running late because of a date, could I really keep a neutral expression?
I don’t think so. I would probably regret the past days like a fool and live each day blaming myself for resetting my relationship with you because I didn’t want to be disliked.
That much, I really don’t want.
“…Sister, then, can I ask one last thing?”
“Uh, sure.”
I nodded, struggling to hide the wavering in my voice.
The weight of the word ‘last’ pressed heavily on my shoulders, but I tried not to show it.
“If I could forgive all your lies, would you accept my feelings too?”
“Well, sure, but that’s not likely. I….”
“No, it’s possible.”
For the first time, Uju cut me off, taking out something small from the bag slung over their shoulder and presenting it to me.
Although it was barely visible in the faint moonlight, as soon as I saw it, I instantly recognized what it was.
Of course, it was the diary I had been scribbling notes in every night for the past few months.
“U-Uju, where on earth did you…?”
I felt my whole body lose color in an instant. My hands were trembling, and I couldn’t even get my voice out properly.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop. I just saw your bag fall over earlier, and while putting things back, I inadvertently….”
“Ah….”
Well, Uju wouldn’t think of casually reading someone else’s diary.
This was simply my mistake. I had been vaguely aware that I mistakenly brought the diary in my bag that morning, but I never thought it would show up in front of Uju.
Thud. Plop.
The cup holder that slipped from my hand rolled helplessly on the sandy beach.
Without the capacity to pick it up, I calmly nodded, thinking everything was over.
“…So, you found out everything.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry for hiding it all this time… Did I disappoint you a lot?”
“Not at all. In fact, if I had been disappointed, I wouldn’t be sitting here facing you now.”
With soft footsteps, Uju approached me, handing over the diary, looking at me with serious eyes.
“I just asked you earlier, didn’t I? If I can forgive all your lies, would you accept my feelings?”
“Earlier…?”
I suddenly realized I had forgotten what Uju had just said, regaining my senses.
Now that I think about it, that’s right.
I always thought Uju wouldn’t have a way of finding out my lies, but there Uju stood, aware of the entire contents of my diary.
Once I realized that, my eyes went wide.
So, what Uju is trying to say now is…
“I’m saying that I’m willing to accept everything. So, how about it, sister? Will you date me?”
Acknowledging all the truths and saying they would accept me along with it.
For me, it was so alluring and deeply gratifying that it felt like something I could never have imagined.
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