When I actually thought about opening my mouth, I wasn’t that nervous.
Perhaps it was a signal from somewhere deep in my heart that I was already prepared.
“Um, actually, I was similar to the person who sent in this story. After going through something unpleasant in childhood, my motivation for life and confidence disappeared.”
“What kind of unpleasant thing, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“It’s the bullying and school violence that people often talk about.”
“Ah….”
【White Forest】- ? Seriously?
【Moscos】- I’ve never heard that story…
【Sweet Exidahn】- Whoa.
【Reality Abandoned】- Oh no…
Watching me speak lightly about not-so-good experiences while forcing a smile, Mr. Exit sighed as if he felt genuinely sorry. The viewers’ reactions were no different.
Especially the viewers with nicknames that often appeared on my broadcasts looked astonished to hear something they’d never heard in nearly two years of watching.
As a result, Mr. Exit, who was watching the somewhat chaotic chat window, nodded at me as if it was okay to share more.
“I was in fifth grade at elementary school. There was a girl in my class, someone I talked to a few times, and one day she gave me an invitation to her birthday party.”
“Oh, it’s pretty common at elementary school, even if you’re not that close.”
“Right. So I thought, ‘Oh, I should go,’ without much thought. But then one day, something happened.”
Even now, that memory is vivid, as if the voice I heard at the time is ringing in my ears.
“Our school was a bit old, so the cafeteria was a bit far from the main building. There were some secluded spots along the way, and behind the building was a shabby empty lot.”
“On that day, I was in a hurry to eat, so I took a shortcut through the secluded path, but there were some kids blocking the way. Upon closer look, one of them was a kid known for throwing punches in our class.”
【Alpaca Hunter】- Oh…
【Lemon Tanghulu】- I can already guess what’s coming…
【Please Choose a Nickname】- Oh, please no.
Just hearing this already made most viewers sigh, as if they could visualize the scene that would follow, but since the story had already begun, I forced a bitter smile and continued.
“That kid suddenly pushed me against the wall and asked, ‘Didn’t you ask her to invite you to her birthday party?’”
Since this is a broadcast, I didn’t mention any names for anonymity’s sake, just in case it causes trouble.
Mr. Exit looked surprised, as if something was off, and asked for an explanation.
“Wait, but the invitation was given by that girl on her own accord, right?”
“Exactly. So I thought it was odd and explained. I never asked for that; she just gave me the invitation first.”
“Okay, and then?”
I sipped water to wet my dry lips before continuing.
“At that moment, the girl came out and said, ‘Kang Woo-joo is lying’ and ‘He cried to come to my birthday party.’”
“…What?”
【Thunder Raccoon】- Wow, that’s insane.
【White, Red, Black】- Even considering they’re elementary schoolers, that’s crossing the line, lol.
【K-HipHopTopCosmo】- I’m already ready to punch someone, damn it.
In disbelief, Mr. Exit seemed to doubt his own ears, and voices of condemnation flooded the chat window.
Honestly, even as I spoke, I wondered what on earth was happening. At that time, I was genuinely flabbergasted.
“Later I found out that there weren’t many people invited to that girl’s birthday party. Among the boys, I was the only one, and I think that boy was probably jealous of me, considering how popular that girl was in class.”
To put it simply, the kid who was one of the followers of the so-called queen bee was a notorious bully and possessed an overwhelming desire for ownership, which made things worse.
“Maybe that girl actually liked you, so she tried to invite you?”
“Yeah, I think so. But what made me feel wronged was that we had only exchanged a few words; we weren’t even that close.”
【Exidahn Loan Shark】- Then why was she saying something like that?
【Cro-Magnon】- I seriously don’t get it.
【Soju Flavored Hand Cream】- Is she a psychopath?
Moreover, the chat seemed increasingly unable to understand that girl’s psychology, but for me, it was somewhat easier to comprehend.
Simply put, she had surrendered. Whether it was due to violence or power.
“I think that girl wanted to get out of that situation. I still remember that the boy asked her, ‘You don’t really like him, right?’ and the girl looked at me and said, ‘Why would I like someone like him?’ as if looking at a bug.”
【Gabindangmajitenchi】- What the hell.
【Philosophy Water Broth】- I can’t even express how speechless I am.
【Allfreed】- This is the craziest story I’ve heard in my life.
Thinking it over again feels like that level of manipulation is far too sophisticated for a fifth grader, yet it was cruel enough to make one feel strangely naive.
So cruel that it felt almost innocent.
“After that, well, you can guess what happened. They were particularly vicious, making sure not to let anyone know when they beat me up, they would insult me from behind, spit on me… They continued the bullying like that.”
“At that time, my family wasn’t well off, so they used that as an excuse to constantly call me smelly or say things like I was a beggar right to my face.”
【Ningnikni】- I can’t find words…
【Yeur】- It’s disgusting just hearing it.
【tws2425】- So what happened to those punks?
Of course, viewers were curious about what happened to those who bullied me back then. I wanted to say something good about how it ended well, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.
“Eventually, a school violence committee was held, but nothing was properly resolved. It just so happened that that boy’s father was a man of some influence.”
I don’t remember exactly, but he was the CEO of a venture company or something. It’s still clear in my mind how he brought in lawyers from the best law firm in Korea to protect his elementary school son.
“Well, anyway, I’ve strayed a bit from the main point… I didn’t start sharing this heavy story to bring everyone down. It’s just that because I had times like that, I had a rather rough time until I turned twenty.”
For me, my elementary, middle, and high school years were like a living hell.
When I was in middle school, I ended up transferring after entering the same school as the leader of the group that bullied me, and even after transferring, I often would barely go to school.
My parents regretted and cried about not protecting me, while I felt guilty towards them.
My older sister started taking care of me around that time.
With everyone in the family unable to look away from me, I ended up resenting myself. I felt like I was the one at fault for not being able to endure or break out of this situation. That was around the time I was in third year of middle school.
That’s why I decided to at least accomplish something in my life by focusing on my studies, and throughout high school, I dedicated almost all my time to just studying except for the time I ate and slept.
I managed to get into Seo-han University, but once there, interacting with other people became painfully difficult for me since I had distanced myself from everyone for so long.
Eventually, as I was struggling even at the university I got into, Park Jae-seong came to me and said,
“If talking face-to-face with people is hard for you, why not try this instead?” Along with that suggestion, he introduced me to streaming.
“That’s how I started broadcasting, and when I saw that only five to ten viewers were coming every day, I felt the first spark of realization: ‘Oh, there are people who care and watch over me.’”
It was embarrassing to brag about something that felt so small, but at that time, it brought me immense joy.
“Thinking about it, that led me to create a counseling room. At first, I was really worried. ‘Is it right for someone like me to give others advice?’”
“But as I saw more people saying they found strength from my words, I started realizing, ‘I can be someone who supports others too.’”
Ultimately, having a catalyst is important. If you have that, anyone can rise again.
“So I think viewers like the one who sent in their story shouldn’t rush and should wait for something or someone to guide them. It could be a lover, family, or even someone who is totally unrelated, like me.”
“Of course, I’m not saying to just lie around and wait. Ultimately, it’s up to you to find that catalyst. However, at least you don’t have to be anxious, thinking, ‘Is it too late for me?’ or ‘Should I do something right away?’”
As I shared my thoughts with the viewer who sent in the story, I realized more than thirty minutes had passed.
Just when I started feeling awkward for talking so much, a chat message came in from the viewer who just sent their story.
【Exit Tax More】- Thank you. I actually had something I wanted to try, so I’ll just give it a shot, no matter how it turns out.
Clap, clap, clap.
There was an air of determination in that message, and applause escaped involuntarily.
I hope I get to hear good news from that person someday.
“So, is this the last viewer’s concern we’ve heard?”
Confirming that the username of the person who just messaged was written at the very end of the worry list, I asked casually, and Mr. Exit nodded.
“Yes, it seems so. Now, it’s our turn to share. How about Mr. Cosmo goes first?”
“Haha… Given the atmosphere, that sounds like a good idea.”
As I made the atmosphere a bit more serious, it felt better to pass the microphone to Mr. Exit for him to share his concern.
I had already been tipped off that Mr. Exit’s concern was a rather light topic.
“Now, Mr. Cosmo, please feel free to share your concern, thinking of receiving advice from both me and the viewers. What’s bothering you?”
“Um, well….”
While it felt like explaining would take a long time, when I actually tried to summarize it, I realized I could summarize it in just one sentence, so I could easily start talking.
“Actually, there’s someone I sincerely want to apologize to.”
The person had explicitly asked me not to say I was sorry, but today, I felt like I had to borrow this expression, no matter what.
What I’ve shared thus far was my story that I wanted to tell the viewers, but what I’m about to share now is solely a story I want to tell for that one person.
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