“……?”
…?
…Really?
Really… pregnant?
Since returning to the office, I couldn’t believe it while working.
Pregnant? No matter how I thought about it, I just couldn’t wrap my head around it.
I’d been thinking it was just a cold and some body aches, but why…?
“……..”
I was clearly typing away during work, my eyes moving over the documents, but it still didn’t feel real.
I mean, getting pregnant was… impossible…
“…Ah.”
But it had happened.
That was indeed a pretty solid possibility, and without considering that, it wouldn’t even make sense.
It had already been a few days, about two weeks since then.
Well… considering what I’d been doing inside, it was only natural.
It would actually be more strange if I hadn’t gotten pregnant after that safety-window was missed.
Of course, I still couldn’t actually believe it.
…I should probably grab a test on the way home.
“Lindaera, when do you need to finish this document, today?”
“……..”
Half in a daze, the commander asked me while holding onto a document.
“…You can have it by tomorrow.”
“Oh, got it. Then instead of this… let’s tackle another document first…”
…The commander still had no idea that I was pregnant.
I hadn’t said a word, and I also told Mari to keep it a secret for a week.
So the commander was working normally, just like always.
Meanwhile, I was so anxious I didn’t even know what to do.
“……..”
I made sure to hold back my sigh.
It’s obvious that if I showed any reaction, the commander would catch on.
So I deliberately stayed calm and focused on work, not wanting to spill it to the commander just yet.
“……..”
What on earth am I supposed to do?
*
After work, I returned to my room alone.
Unlike usual, I wasn’t with the commander, just here alone to confirm things one more time.
And the result was undoubtedly…
“…Two lines.”
Of course, having heard Amie Mari’s diagnosis before, the odds of getting something else now were exceedingly slim.
After all, I’d done what I did on a non-safe day.
If anything, it made total sense that I would be pregnant.
…Maybe I was a bit naïve.
In a situation with such obvious proof, it was strange that I couldn’t believe it.
“…Ha. Hahaha…”
It was so sudden that I still couldn’t wrap my head around it.
And to think… a guy like me… pregnant?
Though I mean, my identity as a guy was just that—something from the past, but still.
But… but this is a bit…
“Wow…”
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Pregnant?
Really?
In a situation where these thoughts couldn’t help but arise, I stared at the test stick with two lines.
“How do I even say this…?”
I was indeed pregnant.
With the two lines and Mari’s testimony, there was no denying it.
But telling the commander this fact was a different matter entirely.
The commander probably didn’t expect this at all.
If they heard it, they’d be shocked, no doubt.
Besides, we weren’t even at the level where we were promising marriage or anything.
What would happen if I suddenly told the commander that I was pregnant and that we… were having a baby?
…It was a situation where I couldn’t help but feel a bit worried.
“…How should I say it.”
Really.
I had no idea how to say that a baby was growing in my belly.
This was a first for me.
“…A baby, huh.”
The fact that I was having a baby was pretty miraculous.
It was shocking and absurd, and yet… for now… I had no further thoughts about it.
Could it be that this was just too sudden? I was pregnant but felt no surge of maternal instinct or anything like that.
“…I guess I should cut back on alcohol and coffee…”
I was sure of this at least.
Caffeine and alcohol? I definitely shouldn’t indulge now.
Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t help but think that way.
Logically speaking, being pregnant means I shouldn’t engage in such things.
“Thank goodness I don’t smoke…”
In many ways… I was getting a bit worried.
I felt an indescribable feeling within me.
…Hmm.
Really, how am I supposed to say this?
*
The next day, everything was pretty much the same.
As always, I started work with the commander and everyone else, pretending everything was normal while keeping quiet.
Even though my mind and body were in a different state than usual.
“Lindaera, are you feeling okay?”
“Y-yes. I received medication yesterday, so… I’m fine.”
“That’s good to hear. Honestly, you looked really tired yesterday morning. So I’m glad you seem alright today.”
“…Yes. That’s a relief.”
In truth, I hadn’t received any medication, and nothing was different from yesterday for me.
The only thing that had changed was that I now knew I was pregnant?
“Commander.”
“What? Do you have something to request?”
“…Not that. I was just wondering what you’d like to have for lunch later.”
“Oh, that?”
I had something to say, but I unconsciously dropped that thought.
It felt too difficult to say it to the commander, and I feared their reaction.
I knew the commander wouldn’t suddenly become hostile just because I said something.
But even knowing that, the worry lingered, and I couldn’t decide how to address it with the commander.
“…So, what will we have for lunch today?”
“Hmm… We’ve had a lot of pasta this week. How about risotto today?”
“Is that so…?”
Regardless, we carried on with such small talk.
While the commander still had no idea of the truth.
I just chattered on, keeping my thoughts to myself.
It would probably be better to talk about it, but it was still too difficult.
And so I resumed my focus on work.
My belly wasn’t visibly swollen yet, nor was there any sign of my pregnancy, after all.
I was just… quiet, existing in silence.
“Ha…”
“Lindaera.”
“…?”
During a brief break.
The commander had gone out to get bread and aid, and I was relaxing with the other girls in the office.
There wasn’t much work to do, and short breaks were fairly common.
Plus, it was something we typically did.
Just then, Dolores suddenly spoke to me.
“Why do you look like that?”
“Um… Are you on your period?”
“…Excuse me?”
“You look a bit tired. I was thinking maybe you were going through something like before…”
“Ah… No, not at all. I’m not that tired…”
It was no different from yesterday, after all.
Naturally, I still felt a bit heavy and tired like I did yesterday.
Is this what it feels like when you’re pregnant?
Honestly, I was clueless about what pregnancy felt like, having never been through it before.
“In fact, the commander told me not to say anything, but they seemed a bit worried. They even told me to ask you if you were okay.”
“Is that so…?”
“Yeah. I think they could’ve just asked you themselves, but they insisted I do it… Not that it makes a huge difference.”
“………”
So the commander noticed something different about me.
The others probably didn’t pay it any mind.
…I was purposefully not saying anything about my condition to the commander.
“…Dolores.”
“What’s wrong? Are you really not feeling well?”
“…That’s not it. I’m not really sick… I just have a bit of a question.”
It was too hard to directly speak to the commander.
So I could only talk to a fellow woman about it.
Though we were close, liked each other, and shared much, it was different from what I had with the commander.
…After all, this whole situation began because of the commander.
“…Midori, could you come over here too? Lock the office door.”
“Eh? Lock the door?”
“…Yes.”
Just in case the commander came in during our conversation… it would be a bit awkward.
So I decided to lock it for a moment.
And just like that, the three of us girls sat together on the sofa.
I was sitting alone on the sofa with a cushion placed in front of my belly.
“……..”
“What’s going on?”
“Yeah, suddenly summoning us like this!”
“…Right? I didn’t expect this either.”
It’s funny… just a year ago…
Somehow, it felt like I had become a mess of a woman in many ways.
I mean, no matter how you look at it, even if I became a woman, at first, I didn’t seem like one at all, maybe just existed randomly.
And somehow I ended up pregnant by some nameless guy I met about a year ago.
…Thinking like this made me feel like…
Seriously…
Seriously…
I felt like such a mess, but it was true that the commander… was such a good person.
Although he liked games too much and didn’t get up properly in the morning like an adult.
“…I’m pregnant.”
“…Huh?”
“…Really?”
“…You’re serious.”
…I felt slightly embarrassed but blurted it out.
Regardless, if I had to tell the commander, I planned to let the others know as well.
I felt a bit bad for not telling the commander first about something important, but I was terrified to tell him.
So, I just blurted it out here first.
After that… it was simple.
A barrage of questions followed.
When did it happen, how did it happen, was the commander crazy?
Such questions.
In truth, it’s not like the commander was solely at fault; I had also purposely let him finish inside.
Anyway, there were back-and-forths of conversations like this going on.
And it started to feel like the commander was getting some playful scolding.
“………”
Even so, everyone seemed to be in a celebratory mood.
I just hoped the commander would respond positively too.
At least I didn’t want him to dislike it.
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