Sitting in front of the broadcasting computer, I launched League of Legends. Fortunately, everything that should be installed was already set up, so I didn’t have to waste time installing anything.
After logging in and inviting my wife into the game room, she smiled and asked,
“Hey, should we play without any handicaps?”
“Oh, no. We definitely need to give you a handicap. Do I look like that petty of a person?”
No matter how much I hate losing, I wouldn’t do a one-on-one with my wife, who’s playing League for the first time, without giving her a handicap.
Besides, if I give her a handicap and still lose, at least I can set the stage for an epic comeback… or it’ll feel even more thrilling when I win, right?
“Guys, what kind of handicap should we use?”
“Hey, if the host wasn’t planning on giving any handicap from the start, that’s a huge no ㅋㅋ”
“I swear I was planning on giving one from the beginning.”
Ignoring the viewers’ attempts to sabotage me, I asked again, “So what kind of handicap should we do?”
“Hmm… I don’t really know, so just decide something.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that.”
Thinking about it, asking my wife, who’s a total newbie, to set her own handicap was kind of foolish. I guess I have to rely on the viewers’ suggestions after all, choosing something as a compromise.
“Anyone got any recommended handicaps?”
“Wha-?”
“Isn’t removing runes the safest option?”
“Old man… we can’t remove runes these days…”
“Nowadays, if you try to remove runes, it automatically selects the strongest runes for you.”
“Then can’t she just pick runes she won’t use on purpose?”
“Probably best to ban spells too, right?”
Hmm, banning spells and not using runes? That sounds reasonable. It’d be a meaningful handicap for a mirror match where we both play the same champion, no doubt.
And if we go one step further, there’s the starting items.
“Hey, should I not buy any starting items?”
“No way. You have to buy something to make it fair.”
The game started, but I hesitated, unable to leave the base. When I tossed out a casual question, my wife shook her head and replied.
She said something about fair play, but it strangely sounded like, “It’s not fun unless you have something!”
At this point, it felt like the winner had already been determined, and I was feeling a chill down my spine.
“Whoa!”
“Of course, my sister!”
“Such a big person, wow.”
Regardless, the viewers were all abuzz, captivated by my wife’s laid-back demeanor. At this rate, it’s safe to say I have no allies in this broadcast.
Rumors were flying around that the recent share percentage in our broadcast was 50% my wife, 45% Joo-ha, and only 5% me. Some even said that was being generous.
How on earth did it come to this?
Anyway, I bought a longsword and potion for stable starting items, rushing mid-lane. My wife, who had arrived first, walked forward and suddenly…
– Hehehe… Hehehe… Hehehe!
She started to taunt me with an emote out of nowhere.
Wait a minute, I never taught her that!
“…Honey, where did you learn that?”
“Huh? Isn’t this how you do it?”
“Uh, well, yeah…”
“Lol!”
“Whaaaaat?!”
Even I was feeling suspiciously excited. From the moment I first taught her, she was picking it up way too quickly, and now she’s using commands I never even showed her.
“Okay, so the win condition is the first to get one kill or to last-hit 100 minions. You can only return home once. Got it?”
“Yep!”
And thus began our one-on-one battle.
Even though I knew I was facing a total newbie who just started, I still felt oddly tense. It was like an aura was radiating from the other side.
Swish!
“…Huh?”
As I was busy trying to last-hit, my wife’s Neeko threw a shuriken just as I was making a move, catching me completely off guard.
I didn’t take much damage yet since it was early game, but I honestly didn’t expect to get hit first.
“Hey, how’s that? Did you see that?”
“Y-Yeah. Nice aim.”
“Were you panicking just now?”
“P-Probably not…”
Slightly flustered, I was reflecting on my choices when I saw her Neeko moving towards a low-health minion from earlier.
“Gotcha!”
With a determined shout, I threw my shuriken, but she dodged it effortlessly as if she had anticipated my move, returning to last-hit the minion.
What was that? She seemed to be feigning last-hitting just to bait out my skill!
“Sweetheart, you’re seriously not trying to win, are you? I felt some fierce determination in your voice just now.”
“Well… uh, I’m not. What’s the point in beating you?”
“Definitely sounds like you’re trying way too hard.”
Hey, keep quiet. I’m clearly letting her win here; what do you all know?
Whoosh!
As we pushed through to level 4 without much issue, the moment my shuriken leveled up, I landed a combo on my wife’s Neeko, instantly taking down a chunk of health.
I couldn’t help but smirk, but at that instant, my wife pouted a bit, acting all dramatic.
“Ow! Hey, that’s unfair…”
“Come on!”
Immediately, the viewers seized the moment to criticize me.
Why do they only unite like this at times that benefit them?!
“Hey, honey, shouldn’t you head back? Your health is pretty low.”
“I’m fine! I can still hold on.”
“Hmm…”
Even as I tried to suggest she go home and replenish her health, she decided that whether to back or not was up to her.
If she reaches level 6, learns her ultimate, and I don’t watch out… what should I do? Should I wait until she goes back home; isn’t that polite?
“No, if I let my guard down, I could lose.”
I hesitated, recalling those dangerous skills and combos she just used, shaking my head.
In the world of competition, there are no exceptions; even if the opponent is my beloved wife.
Sorry, honey. I may not be able to grant your wish, but any little request will be fulfilled.
Ding!
Level 6 finally reached, with both of us having our ultimates now. My eyes sharpened.
My wife’s Neeko was low in health, near the tower, farming some minions. With that disparity, I could dive in and easily take her down.
Unless she pulls off some mad skill, there’s no way she’d win from this gap.
“…!”
“Whoa! Sister, you can’t use your skills right now!”
“Oh crap, you’re gonna die!”
At that moment, a shadow of my wife’s Neeko approached for the minions, making the viewers scream, sensing the impending doom.
Yet, I had no intention of holding back.
Swish—!
I launched my ultimate to dive, appearing behind her Neeko as I immediately input the EQ command and slammed the damage.
I had to keep the combo the shortest possible to minimize tower damage.
Swish!
“…Huh?”
But just as I activated my EQ, my wife’s Neeko dashed diagonally up-right, dodging my attack perfectly.
Even though I’d landed a hit on her before the tower’s aggro switched onto me, I realized I wouldn’t get her if I pulled back.
I quickly escaped using my shadow ultimate. I still had my flash, so I’d just wait for my next chance.
But the problem was that our thoughts were completely misaligned.
Swish—!
As I hit R again to return to my ultimate shadow, exactly then, my wife’s Neeko dived into my path with her ultimate.
I had already taken a hit from the tower, my health slightly reduced, but I had my W skill. So if I escaped now, she wouldn’t be able to catch up.
Thinking this, I grinned and prepared to W back coolly.
But then,
FLASH!
Suddenly, I heard a burning sound, and her character’s movement speed shot up.
League has this mechanic called “Breeze Mantle,” where using a summoner spell grants a burst of increased movement speed.
Thanks to that, my wife’s Neeko, arms outstretched like a ninja, chased me down relentlessly.
BAM! …CRASH!
With no skills or summoner spells at my disposal, I was utterly defenseless as thunder struck down on my character’s head just before I collapsed from the final ignite tick.
“……”
“Whoa!”
“Did you see that? Insane kill potential!”
“Using the Breeze Mantle? What even?!”
“Whoa, just at the final ignite tick…”
“That dive was reversed perfectly!”
Staring dumbfoundedly at the screen, I didn’t just feel defeated; the viewers were in awe, barely able to mock me.
It was clear now: it wasn’t that I played poorly, but rather my wife’s response was flawless in every single way.
Hehe.
Meanwhile, my wife stared at me blankly, blinking with an expression that screamed, “This went exactly as planned,” her face adorned with a shadowy smirk.
Looks like I just got hit hard.
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