The Q&A content continued with all sorts of questions pouring in.
Questions like who confessed first, what it felt like to meet my father-in-law for the first time, and whether I’ve built connections with other chaebols were endless.
But then it hit me; while these questions were thrown by the viewers, it was actually my wife who picked them out, and suddenly I felt twice as dizzy.
I couldn’t help but think that she must have selected the questions focusing more on fun than on the Q&A itself.
“Alright, as we’re nearing the end of the Q&A, let’s wrap this up with our final question.”
“Oh, is it finally the last one?”
I felt a bit drained just from the Q&A, so I quickly perked up at the caster’s announcement.
But of course, the caster was seasoned; he quickly wore a smirk like, “What’s with this guy?”
“Yes, indeed. But somehow, you seem to have brightened up?”
“Brightened up? I’m actually on the verge of tears because I feel bad about not being able to answer more questions from the fans.”
“Ah, you truly love your fans more than anyone else, don’t you?”
“Of course.”
I realized I had become quite bold lately, and I had no idea how I could say such things without changing my expression. Maybe marriage had something to do with it.
“Anyway, this is the final question! It reads, ‘If your last love is your wife, then who was your first love?’ Ah, quite a spicy question!”
“Oooh!”
With such a provocative question, the reactions from the fans and I were mixed.
First love, huh? Just looking at it, it seemed someone slipped in a question they personally wanted to ask under the guise of a Q&A.
Well, it wasn’t exactly something I could have trouble answering, so I decided to respond straightforwardly. The answer was, after all, already decided.
“Oh, my first love? Of course, it’s my wife. Why even ask such things?”
“Boo!”
“Not funny!”
“Liar!”
Responses from the audience came just as I’d expected, with not a hint of change in my expression.
Upon closer inspection, even my wife sitting in the front row was looking at me with a face that seemed to say, “You can be honest.”
I suppose nobody really thought I was being sincere.
It was a bit sad. Was my trustworthiness only this much?
“Well, the fans are getting a bit disgruntled, you know? Maybe you should address this, Mr. Cosmo.”
“I know what answer you all want. You want me to name someone other than my wife so you can see me racking up bad karma, right?”
“Yes!”
Wow, these folks sure are brutally honest. I knew we had some rotten viewers in our midst, but to say such things right to my face is rather bold. Are they trying to ruin someone’s family here?
Joking aside, it’s clear I should own up to my honest feelings.
“But I apologize for ruining your expectations, but this is the truth. Those who know me know that during my school days, I was in a mental state that wasn’t relaxed enough to date or like anyone.”
“Ah…”
A bitter smile crept onto my face as I brought up a past event I didn’t want to mention, and sighs escaped the audience.
I felt a bit awkward for dropping such an unexpected bombshell, but as the streamer, it’s my job to change the mood, so I continued with a bright smile.
“And I might be trying to show interest in others now since I met you all, but back then, I was the epitome of self-centeredness. I hardly showed interest in others. You could say I was a total jerk.”
“Hahahaha!”
As I mixed a bit of self-deprecating humor into my comments, the atmosphere in the room thankfully lightened up a bit.
It’s actually true.
Even before that incident, I didn’t have many friends. In fact, I had almost none. I liked to stay home, and I was too busy hanging out with my own sister to have any interest in girls.
From middle school through high school, I almost completely shut myself off from human connections while pouring myself into my studies. There was no chance of having a sweet experience like first love.
“So in the end, my first love is my wife now. Honestly, I was surprised at first. I never thought a guy like me would ever get a girlfriend.”
“Hey, Mr. Cosmo, if you say stuff like that, what’ll the guys across the country think? You’re being way too humble.”
“Right!”
“Think about us too!”
I awkwardly smiled as I conveyed my true feelings, and following the caster’s words, cheers erupted from the fans.
I didn’t intend to say it like that, though.
“Ha ha, thanks. But back then, I really lacked confidence. If you were to ask if I still lack confidence now, I’d say not really, but I think I’ve grown thanks to all of you fans. My wife has also given me a lot of strength. I want to take this opportunity to express my gratitude.”
As I stood up and slightly bowed toward the audience, applause erupted from different corners of the room.
“Ah, attending to your fans even amidst all this… that’s great. Well then, it seems we have answered the final question, so shall we officially move on to the next content?”
“Yes, let’s.”
Nodding along, I subtly glanced at the spot where my wife was sitting, and saw her wearing a slightly bittersweet expression.
‘Sorry.’
Puzzled about whether something was going on, I tilted my head, and my wife mouthed an apology to me.
I wondered why she felt she needed to apologize, but I quickly realized it was a sign of regret for bringing up that past story she didn’t want me to mention because of the question she chose, and I smiled back at her.
Of course, it’s not exactly a good memory, but it’s now something I can laugh about like it’s someone else’s story.
This, too, was all thanks to the changes she helped create in me.
I hope this feeling reaches her.
*
Following the Q&A, a segment was held where lucky fans would receive some of my personal belongings.
I brought along items I regularly used but that weren’t so worn out, and thankfully they received quite a positive response.
The cardigan I often wore on streams, a scarf I used in winter, and even the keyboard I loved using just a few months ago were among the items I prepared. The selection was quite vast.
I felt a bit like I was selling second-hand goods, wondering if it was really okay to give these things to fans, but seeing the joy of those who won them in the lottery made me feel like I had prepared well.
After that, we all shared lunch boxes that my sister had prepared and had a freewheeling talk, akin to a casual broadcast, and surprisingly, the audience responded warmly.
Plus, the lunch boxes my sister brought were so high-end they must have been made in a hotel kitchen, leading fans to unexpectedly chant ‘Big Seo-ha’!
Wow, just how much did these lunch boxes cost?
“So, can we say this is the last segment of today’s fan meeting? Let’s start the one-on-one autograph session!”
“Waaaah!”
With the caster ramping up the energy, the fans erupted in cheers, eagerly awaiting the final segment of the fan meeting.
“Since there seem to be many people waiting, unfortunately, we won’t have much time per person. So be sure to aim to get as much from Mr. Cosmo as you can in that short time!”
“Yeessss!”
Wow, listen to that energetic response! They really seem to be keen on squeezing every drop out of me.
Alright, folks. Come at me. After dealing with countless trolls and malicious viewers, you think I can’t meet your expectations?
“Hello, Mr. Cosmo!”
“Yes, welcome… huh?”
As I greeted the first fan with a smile, I was taken aback by a familiar face.
Oh, it’s that cafe owner who gave me yuja tea back then. I heard my sister invited him, but I never expected him to be the first to come up.
“Did you enjoy the yuja tea I gave you back then?”
“Yes, my wife loved it.”
“Glad to hear that! Oh, could you please sign here? If possible, a quick photo…”
“Oh sure, of course.”
I signed where he wanted and suggested we take a picture, making the cafe owner beam with excitement.
“Thank you! If it wasn’t for Ms. Seo-ha, I wouldn’t have even come to the fan meeting…! Please be sure to convey my thanks to her.”
“Sure, I will. Please take care on your way back.”
Having a brief chat, time soon slipped away, and with a request to pass on his gratitude, I bowed my head.
Following this, many unexpected fans came up to meet me.
“I came from Jeju just to see you!”
“Ah, I’m actually living in Germany for studying abroad… Since I’ve been watching your streams from afar, I really wanted to meet you at least once.”
“I’m a fan since there were only five viewers!”
“I followed your advice and changed my mind, got into college…! Truly thank you!”
Some traveled across water just to see me, others told me I filled their lives with energy, some had watched me since the very beginning, and some had even changed their lives through my advice on a counseling segment.
As I encountered such a diverse array of fans, emotions washed over me with memories of my past broadcasts flashing before my eyes.
I realized that I hadn’t streamed in vain. That thought struck me.
Just as I draw strength from my fans, I realized these people derived strength from me too, motivating me to work even harder in my future streams.
As precious as they are to me, I also want to be that kind of existence for them.
Nothing is more tragic than that kind of connection going awry. Especially with recent incidents among streamers, I felt I wanted to keep my original intentions strong and be a source of strength for these people.
“Thank you! I will always support you, Mr. Cosmo!”
“I should be the one thanking you for coming all the way here.”
Carrying warmth in my heart from those heartfelt encounters, I sensed the fan meeting was drawing to a close.
Tap. Tap.
The clear sound of heels clicking on the stage echoed as I prepared for what I thought was the final encounter, but then one last fan approached and sat down in front of me.
The moment I saw that face, a smile instinctively broke out.
It was none other than my wife.
“Can I get an autograph too? Mr. Cosmo.”
“Of course, I’ll definitely do that. What’s your name?”
“Seo-ha. Ryu Seo-ha.”
“Your name is as beautiful as your face.”
As the two of us engaged in silly banter, the surrounding fans stifled their laughter.
Finally, we dropped the act and started chatting as ourselves.
“I thought you’d skip the line since you were the first. Didn’t think you’d need an autograph.”
“Of course I want one. I just wanted to receive it last this time.”
“Why?”
“Just as I was your first, I wanted to be your last.”
“How romantic.”
Even without saying such wishes, it was already decided that this person was my first and my last.
Yet, it was incredibly cute that she came to receive the last autograph with such a longing.
“So, how was it, dear? Did you enjoy it?”
“Yep, I had a great time. Thank you for creating such a wonderful occasion.”
“No, thank you. I’m grateful for you and for Cosmo. I have a lot to be thankful for.”
“Glad to hear that.”
After finishing up the autograph, I found myself gazing at my wife with her chin rested in her hands, looking at me with a spark in her eyes.
Peck.
I lightly kissed her and smiled widely.
Of course, with the spotlight only on us, the fans all witnessed the intimate moment, and screams erupted around us, but I didn’t care at all.
As I gazed at my wife’s blushing cheeks and beaming smile, the voices and gazes of the crowd faded completely from my ears and eyes.
Suddenly, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
I’m so thankful that you are my fan, and that you are my wife.
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