Today, just two days before the wedding, Dad suddenly called for me.
I knew he would be a little busy since he was live on air, but he asked if I could come see him for a moment, so I wrapped up the broadcast a bit earlier than usual and headed to our family home.
Since my older sister was also briefly at the family home today, I didn’t need to tell anyone I was going out.
“What’s going on at this late hour?” I asked.
“Uh, Dad called me over for a bit.”
“Wait, Dad?”
When I arrived at the family home and explained the situation to my sister, she blinked in surprise, as if she was just as clueless.
“Okay, you’re here. Let’s go out for a bit,” she said.
As I brushed past her, Dad appeared at the front door. Mom was watching us with a confused expression from behind.
“What do you need to call your child who’s getting married the day after tomorrow for at this hour?” she asked.
“I’ll explain when we get back. Let’s go.”
“Okay.”
Without any further explanation, Dad led me out with his usual blunt tone.
“Dad, the car is right there.”
“It’s close, so let’s walk and get some fresh air.”
“Really?”
Since he didn’t think we needed the car, it seemed the place we were going wasn’t far at all, but I had no idea where it could be.
Following Dad’s footsteps in a state of confusion, a shop appeared across the street, the only source of light in the darkness.
“There it is.”
“What’s that place?”
“What do you mean? It’s a bar.”
“I didn’t ask if it was a bar. I mean, why a bar at this hour…?”
Of course, I knew it was a bar; I just didn’t understand why he’d brought his son who lives far away here at such a late hour.
But Dad was already crossing the intersection without answering, as if he wanted me to just follow him.
When we finally entered the bar, a cheerful couple around Dad’s age greeted him warmly from behind the bar.
“Wow, long time no see! We were worried since you hadn’t been here in a while.”
What is this? Is Dad a regular here? He can’t even drink that well.
“Yes, my son is getting married the day after tomorrow, so I brought him for a drink,” Dad said.
“Oh, I see! Come on in. Should we serve you the usual?”
“Please.”
As soon as Dad said that, they led us to a seat at the bar with a calm smile.
Confused, I sat down, and the male bartender approached me with a casual question.
“What would you like to drink, young man? We have whiskey, cocktails, and if you want, even makgeolli. We have it all.”
“Uh, then I’ll have a Kahlua milk… is that possible?”
I casually ordered the drink that I saw on the menu, and the bartender nodded and swiftly turned away.
From the look of things, it seemed like the couple ran this place as a hobby. The shelves were filled with wine and various spirits, so it might actually be easier to find what they didn’t have.
“Since when did you start drinking that? You only knew beer before,” Dad remarked.
“Uh, yeah. It’s the drink my sister Seo-ha likes, so I sometimes drink it with her. She knows her cocktails pretty well.”
“…Right, Seo-ha. She sure has changed you a lot.”
Dad smiled as he gazed at the table, a mixture of emotions in his eyes. His slightly hunched back was a stark contrast to the straight posture I remembered from when I was younger, reminding me of the passage of time.
“Yeah, I’ve changed a lot because of her. After that day, I just thought I’d be stuck in that spot forever.”
“I apologize as a father. In the end, we couldn’t do anything and left everything to that child, Seo-ha.”
“Apologizing? I know that you and Mom, and Seo-ha, did your best for me. It was just that I was the foolish one.”
I hadn’t realized for a long time that it wasn’t my fault—I had just been a puppet in someone else’s foolish play. What a silly life I had led.
Until now, I had placed all the blame for why things turned out like this squarely on myself.
It was truly painful, exhausting, and foolish behavior.
If only I had realized that a little sooner, I wouldn’t have had to see my family sad because of me for so long. What a shame that is.
“Your drinks and snacks are ready. Just like the owner always serves.”
“Thank you.”
As we shared less-than-cheerful stories, two drinks and simple snacks appeared before us.
What Dad had was a martini. Looking at the olives on the skewer inside and its clear color, it seemed about right.
“By the way, Dad, it’s unusual for you to be drinking martinis, considering you’re not much of a drinker.”
A martini is much stronger than the beer Dad occasionally drinks.
But since the owner served him the usual, that meant he’d always been drinking martinis when he came here, right?
Curious, I asked, and with a smirk, Dad rotated the glass he was holding and replied.
“It’s not that I can’t drink like you. I just tend to get a little red in the face.”
“Really? You didn’t drink much at home, though.”
Since I’m not much of a drinker myself, I had naturally assumed Dad wasn’t either, so this was surprising.
As I shot him a questioning look, Dad casually responded.
“I just didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of my kids. I was worried you might end up like me.”
“……”
Hearing that response made my heart sink a little.
Maybe Dad became a regular here because he didn’t want to show us that side of himself at home. That thought crossed my mind.
“Let’s make a toast.”
“Okay.”
Noting the awkwardness in our gaze, Dad suggested a toast while extending his glass.
Cheers.
As our glasses clinked and we took a swig, both our faces quickly turned red. Like father, like son.
“Actually, I wanted to bring you here when you eventually got married.”
“To this place?”
“Yeah.”
While we were fixed on our drinks and snacks, Dad finally revealed the reason he called me over.
“There used to be a place like this near the house before we moved. It was like a secret spot, a place to drink when I wanted to and come back quietly.”
“Oh, I see. I didn’t know that.”
“It makes sense that you wouldn’t know. I’d go out for a bit when I felt like drinking and then sneak back in quietly to sleep.”
So this is Dad’s second secret hideout? It felt strangely fascinating. I almost felt a bit sad not being able to see the first one.
Moreover, I started to understand a bit why Dad wanted to bring me here at this time.
It wasn’t merely to show off how to avoid being embarrassing parents to his kids. After all, Dad isn’t the type to show off anyway.
He probably just wanted to say this.
“I hope you strive to be a parent your kids can be proud of too.”
“Dad.”
“Hmm?”
“I want to be a person like you to my children too.”
“Ah, that makes me happy to hear.”
Maybe the drinks had given him a bit of a buzz, but Dad smiled broadly and nodded his head vigorously.
“Mom said something similar right after your engagement meeting. She said that if you at least followed half of what Dad does, you wouldn’t have to worry about Seo-ha hating you, so to be observant and learn.”
“Did my mom really say that? That doesn’t sound like her.”
“Right? At first, I thought something was off. Your mom often complains about me.”
“Not just complains; she does it openly quite often. Your mom.”
Here she is, our mom, who really loves to vent when the subject isn’t present. Of course, I didn’t plan to refute it.
“But it seems I finally understand the reason today. Your mom must have known you’ve been trying your best as a husband and a father—even if you weren’t perfect. That’s probably why she said that.”
I took the remaining Kahlua milk and sighed softly.
When I think about it, there must have been countless times when Mom complained about Dad. Yet, I can’t recall a single moment when she seemed to dislike him.
Not merely out of obligation as a spouse, but because Dad truly worked hard to earn the love of his wife and children.
“Thank you, Dad. I’ll do my best to live well. I’ll strive to be a good husband and a good parent, you can count on me to show you.”
“You’re getting so sentimental right now. Just act normal.”
“What’s wrong with that? I’m of age now, so it’s time I start thinking about such things.”
I replied cheekily with a grin aimed at Dad.
I suddenly realized I had made a good decision to come today.
“Just live well, no matter what. Be happy.”
“Yes, Dad.”
After our final cheers, we continued our conversation for a little longer before, as if it was agreed upon, we got up and left the bar. We then sat on a bench in a nearby park to talk a bit more.
I realized how little I knew about my own father.
Tonight was another reminder of that.
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