Chapter: 646
After my first attempt ended in a disastrous failure due to the Pope’s mental attack, I made a new plan and initiated my second escape.
With my previous experience, I took advantage of their heightened vigilance, gathered everyone’s attention, and burst out a flash before sprinting out of the mansion.
Having gauged their general speed from earlier, I intentionally twisted my escape route to shake them off.
Up to this point, everything was going great, but the second exit I suspected turned out to be in a completely different place.
Who would have thought that it would be the men’s restroom? Not to mention, I didn’t expect anyone to be in there!
“What. What are you looking at!?”
“Such a tiny thing♡ How cute?♡”
I cut off whatever the flustered knight was about to say by slamming the door, only to be promptly caught by the knights rushing in.
“Apostle of God, if you keep doing this, it causes us trouble.”
“That’s the point?♡ You didn’t think I would actually care about you trash, did you?♡”
“…We…”
“You know the sloppy god who talks about mercy and acceptance wouldn’t like you guys, right?♡ Coming here wishing to be bullied and pretending to be shocked♡”
The knights were left speechless by my words. They didn’t follow the Pope because of faith; they were delusional nutjobs who sympathized with him because they had faith.
“If you’re not prepared for that, then go ahead and cry like a baby♡ Sobbing might get you some sympathy!♡ The sloppy god is an easy target, after all!♡”
“No. We’re prepared.”
“It seems we’ve been mistaken.”
“Yes. Comfort is a luxury for us.”
The knights, who had transformed into masochistic freaks that loved trials, willingly accepted my declaration of war.
Just as I had planned.
Think rationally. Everything I had said was bound to be nonsense.
An idiot like Armadi, who cuddles his own kid, wouldn’t hate this lot.
Even if they hated me, so what?
I had already prepared for it.
The Apostle of God should have just been tied up and left alone, regardless of what nonsense he spouted.
For their own purposes.
But the holy knights couldn’t do that.
They thought they had accepted their villainy, but they couldn’t bear the truth that their great god deemed them evil.
It was a half-hearted madness.
Thanks to this, I could continue my escape attempts under the blind eye of the knights.
The third escape. I used the excuse of needing a bath to shake off the knights, running off in minimal clothing.
Unfortunately, the watchfulness of the knights was more intense than I had anticipated, and before I even reached the exit, I was caught.
The fourth escape. I decided to smash everything in sight before attempting a breakout.
If these sloppy fools were oblivious, I could run around the mansion rampantly, right?
To cut to the chase, that plan failed.
I could handle individual knights, but when facing a group, I was out of luck.
Even with them enduring penalties, I couldn’t find an opening to strike.
The only reason I lasted a bit was that I could see all attacks from a third-person perspective.
Without the fairies’ help, I would have been toast long ago!
I managed to hold on and took down a couple, but anything beyond that was impossible.
So, I surrendered quietly.
Then, my fifth attempt was to use the mesugaki skill.
In simple terms, I would attempt to blow the knights’ sanity away and escape.
After all, from their perspective, I was a precious guest they shouldn’t provoke. If I mess with one, the others would be forced to intervene.
It wasn’t a complicated plan. After spending some days together, I already had their weaknesses down.
“Hey, virgins♡ Aren’t you curious about who this beauty likes?♡”
It’s common knowledge for any man, but once a guy is enlightened about sex, he occasionally thinks with something other than his brain.
This applies even to clergymen who have devoted themselves to the church.
The desire for reproduction is something everyone possesses in this life, and although clergymen can clear their thoughts through transcendent willpower, they can’t completely ignore it.
Especially when there’s a pretty woman next to them.
“Apostle of God, I’ve devoted myself to the Lord. It’s been ages since I thought of love.”
“With that said, why were you making strange noises at night?♡”
“I-I would never do such a thing!”
“Just joking, but you seem super flustered~♡ So it turns out you’re a naughty one?♡”
“No. I-I definitely… not! I swear to God, I’ve never engaged in indecent acts!”
“What would exactly qualify as indecent?♡ The way you’re talking, you seem to know a lot, why not explain?♡ I’m young and have no clue♡”
With trembling eyes and cold sweat pouring down, the knight quickly looked away, seeking help from his comrades, only to find they were watching me closely.
This is why virgins can’t handle dirty talk.
While I snickered, a knight standing outside came in with a sigh.
“What’s going on here? Do you think we can indulge in such desires?”
“Well, at least you’re not an ugly old man, so get lost♡”
“What… are you talking about?”
“It’s a good thing you became a holy knight♡ Even if you lived normally, you’d still be a virgin, but now you have an excuse♡ You can thank the sloppy god every day, even with that face of yours♡”
“Even if you provoke us like that.”
“Ugh♡ Can you please stop talking?♡ It’s already disgusting, but hearing you speaks makes me want to truly hurl♡”
The knight who stared at me without speaking suddenly put his hand on his waist and immediately drew his sword, charging at me.
“Let go! Let gooo!”
“Please calm down!”
“Why are you acting like this when you’re always so composed!”
In all the confusion, I casually made my exit from the room, leisurely wandering the mansion only to get caught by other holy knights.
The knights who were with me looked like they had gone through hell, clearly struggling to intervene with the knight I had provoked.
The other knights didn’t look too pleased either. They probably understood that my taunts were quite threatening.
For them, who couldn’t harm me, throwing out challenges to lose their sanity was the worst risk.
The best course of action would be to shut me up, but could they do something like that?
How could these cowards commit the sinful act of silencing the Apostle of God?
Things would be different for Lasha, but she had been entertaining herself with my antics for a while now.
She probably wouldn’t intervene even if I managed to escape.
She’d seen my potential a thousand times by now.
Maybe she wouldn’t be thinking the same thing on the battlefield next time.
[Was that why you’ve been wandering around aimlessly since the middle? You thought you wouldn’t be able to send me off anyway, huh.]
‘That’s true, but I can’t find the exit anywhere.’
I had checked all the suspicious spots I could think of.
I had tried everything within my knowledge.
Yet, I ultimately failed to find the exit.
There are still a few methods left, but they won’t mean much.
This space seemed to be beyond my understanding.
‘I expected this to happen.’
<…Then why have you caused such an uproar all this time?>
‘Naturally, it was all to design my escape. It’s also a preparation for the future.’
Now, I’ve done everything I could do in this place.
There’s no longer a reason to stay here. It’s time to leave.
How could I leave without knowing the exit, you ask?
No need to worry about that.
The owner of this place will let me out, after all.
That perverted old man who just walked in through the door.
“Apostle, it seems you’ve been quite busy.”
“I’ve also witnessed the ugly desires of a deranged old man♡ It was pathetic~♡ Can’t believe you’re still being played with at your age♡”
“You’re not entirely wrong. I act according to my heart, not my head.”
The Pope, brushing off my vulgarity, sent the holy knights outside and sat opposite me.
“Why do you keep trying to escape from here? Have we caused you some inconvenience?”
“Your very existence is a nuisance♡ Just being around reduces my lifespan♡”
“That’s unfortunate. If our existence is the problem, there’s nothing we can do, is there?”
“Idiot?♡ There’s an easy solution♡ Either you all leave, or I do!♡”
“I wished for you to watch me do what I intend.”
As soon as I heard the Pope’s serious tone, I couldn’t help but laugh.
It’s not like a desperate little kid asking their parent for something; it’s an old man begging a young girl earnestly, which is just pitiful.
“Have you lost all your brain cells playing with a retard?♡ Why not think with your head?♡”
“Could you elaborate?”
“I’m going to come for you anyway, you idiot!♡ Watching you struggle pathetically down there would be too amusing, why would I let that go!?♡”
Eventually, I’d have to confront the Pope’s plan. I had to stop whatever it is he intended.
The Pope, staring blankly at me, finally lifted the corners of his mouth.
“I see. You wouldn’t really ignore me.”
“If you’re scared and want to tie me up, that can’t be helped♡ If you want to imprison me, go ahead♡ You perverted old man♡ Even then, nothing will happen♡ Right?♡ You can’t even touch me, you sloppy fool!♡”
As I scoffed and poked at him, the Pope suddenly burst into laughter.
His hearty laugh filled the room and could even be felt outside, and it was clear he was feelin’ happy.
He was delighted that I intended to hinder him.
Ha. Damn. No wonder that pervy bastard serves the God of Masochism.
Why do all the allies and foes around me always have to be perverts?
At this point, I might have some kind of issue myself.
“So I’ll be your trial, and you shall be mine. Very well. I will not stop you from leaving.”
The Pope, finally stifling his laughter, staggered to his feet and knelt before me.
“I look forward to the day we meet again, noble and dignified Apostle of God.”
– Ding ding.
[Quest Clear!]
[Rewards will be given!]
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