Chapter: 385
– May I ask what’s going on?
“Tell my dad something nice, Saintess. I’m such a fool, I don’t know what to say.”
At the cold, emotionless voice coming from beyond the crystal, Phoebe’s expression crumbled.
– …Lady Kent?
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“I’m here too, Phoebe.”
– Joy? Could it be that His Highness the Third Prince of Soladin is with you?
“That’s right, Saintess.”
What on earth is going on? Phoebe tilted her head as she looked at Benedict’s haggard face.
At first, I thought the sparkling crystal was connected to Lady Allen to convey something.
But when I got the message, there was the worn-out face of Earl Allen. I thought he wanted to confess something to me, but now voices from behind are echoing.
– Hmm. First of all, Lady Kent. You brought the crystal of the Lady, correct?
“Yeah. That’s right. Saintess needed it.”
– Without consulting the others?
“Consulting?”
Phoebe, hearing the innocent question, chuckled as she understood that the current situation stemmed from one person’s unilateral decision. She didn’t know the exact situation, but she did realize that Earl Allen needed help.
– Earl Allen.
“Yes, Saintess.”
– Do you need my help?
As Phoebe quietly posed the question, Benedict’s gaze deepened.
The aura of a hero who had single-handedly changed the course of war and saved the kingdom from countless dangers weighed down on Phoebe, but she remained unmoved.
Because she is a saint. Because she extends a hand of salvation to those in distress. Because she bears the mission of delivering hope to those who are about to crumble.
She did not back down and faced Benedict with a stern expression.
In the end, it was Benedict who faltered first. He shook his head and gave a weak voice.
“You seem like a completely different person from the last time we met.”
– Back then, I was just a friend of the Lady.
“Indeed. I understand, Saintess. Would you give this foolish father some advice?”
– If that is what you wish, I would gladly.
While Phoebe conversed with Benedict, Joy stood up, taking Arthur and Frey with her.
From this moment on, the story unfolding in the room shall not allow any other person to participate except for these two.
Once only the two were left, Benedict leaned back in his chair and let out a hollow laugh.
“I must mention beforehand that I haven’t been baptized.”
– Does that matter?
“Excuse me?”
– The great Lord Jushin loves the faithful and unfaithful alike, so it is only right that I, who unfurls His will, should do the same.
“Hoho. How amusing.”
Benedict recounted to Phoebe the same story he had just told to the other three about the sins he had committed against his daughter. Sins that could never be atoned for and should not even be sought for atonement.
When the tale concluded, Phoebe remained silent until Benedict pressed his lips together tightly before finally speaking.
– Earl Allen. You said you’re someone who shouldn’t look for forgiveness.
“Yes. That’s correct.”
– Have you not thought that turning away from someone seeking forgiveness could become another wound?
Benedict instinctively wanted to rebut her but words failed to escape his mouth. Phoebe’s words were so accurate that he couldn’t argue back.
– Among the clergy, there are those who choose self-denial. These are people who think they can approach God through their own suffering.
“Yes. I’ve heard about that.”
– I do not think all their actions are wrong. The willingness to bear the sins of others is surely noble. However, not everyone is right.
Choosing hardship for others rather than being lost in one’s own suffering is surely wrong. That is self-harm, not self-denial.
“…”
– Earl Allen. I believe you understand what I’m trying to say.
When Benedict silently nodded, Phoebe continued in a deliberately stern tone.
– Always question for whom the thorny path you wish to walk is meant. You can do it. After all, you are wise and righteous, Earl Allen.
“Me…?”
– Yes.
In front of Phoebe’s steadfast gaze, Benedict couldn’t help but feel awed.
Look at those eyes that seem to trust me more than I trust myself. This person truly deserves the title of Saintess.
“Thank you for the advice, Saintess. How can I repay this kindness?”
– You don’t have to worry about it. I’m merely returning a bit of the overflowing grace I received from you, young lady.
“Lucy. I see. While this inadequate father has been meandering around in the same place, Lucy has been moving forward all along.”
Benedict couldn’t stop the tears that naturally flowed from him. Seeing the shoulders of the hero, who seemed unbreakable, shrink, Phoebe dropped her stern expression and regained her original gentleness.
– Earl Allen. You must do what you need to do.
“Yes, Saintess.”
– Oh, and please be sure to contact the young lady later. I would love to see her smiling face.
“Hahaha. I don’t know if Lucy will listen to me, but I’ll give it a try.”
– It’s a promise! You’ve got to!
With the solemnity just moments ago gone, Phoebe displayed youthful exuberance, mentioning she had things to do as she disconnected the crystal.
Left alone in the room, Benedict rose slowly from his seat.
“I must not repeat past mistakes.”
A multitude of thoughts and lingering regrets danced in his mind, yet they were still unorganized.
Benedict was still filled with guilt and self-loathing.
However, instead of turning away to look out the window, he opened the office door.
“Foolish Papa.”
There stood Lucy. His beloved daughter. A final gift left by his wife.
The moment Benedict saw Lucy’s bloodshot eyes, he felt the urge to run away. He was terrified of the next words that would escape those lips, wishing to retreat back into the office.
But he suppressed his unease and stepped forward. He passed by Lucy’s friends and stood before her.
“Lucy.”
“Have you been crying? Is it menopause? Did you get too emotional and start sniffing?”
“Could you accompany me outside for a moment?”
“Is foolish Papa not only looking like a troll, but is also as dull as one?”
“…Huh?”
“Are you really going to throw your cute daughter into a snowstorm?”
Ah, right. The weather outside was definitely not suitable for a walk. Had he gotten so caught up in sorting through his emotions that he overlooked such basics?
“No, I mean, that’s…”
“Then why are you reaching out your hand?”
While Benedict internally berated himself and stuttered, Lucy kept throwing her jabs.
“Are you telling me to hold your dirty, gooey hands? What’s your intention? Are you planning to go from foolish Papa to beastly Papa now?”
“Of course not! This is my tears and snot! No, um, that, uh…”
Where do I even begin to untangle this mess? As lost in thoughts, Benedict desperately rolled his mind when Lucy burst into laughter.
Not a laugh meant to tease, but a truly innocent smile. After a while, she happily grabbed his filthy hand that she had just regarded with disgust.
“Don’t mess up the escort! If you disappoint me, I’ll never play with foolish Papa again.”
“…I’ll do my best, Lucy.”
*
The snowstorm outside presented no issue for our stroll. After all, I had the Divine Grace of God.
The warmth of the divine, like sunlight, not only brightened but also cleared the storm around us, making the surroundings pleasant.
“I’ve met many clergy, but seeing someone use divine power for this is a first.”
“Foolish Papa, are you comparing me to those sloppy trash? It really upsets me.”
“Haha. I’m sorry. I’m just terrible at giving compliments, you see.”
Benedict forced an awkward smile while keeping an eye on Lucy. Feeling the weight of her bloodshot eyes was unbearable, so I averted my gaze.
‘Grandpa, what should I do?! How can I escape from this awkward situation?!’
In a panic, I sought advice.
Honestly, I didn’t understand this situation at all.
While I was feeling down and torturing the sloppy fox, suddenly Frey burst into the room and snatched the crystal connected to Phoebe. Not knowing what was happening, I followed behind, only to see Benedict’s haggard face.
How on earth can I catch up with this situation?
Benedict’s expression looked too serious, so I went along with him, yet I was still clueless.
[Just go along with it. That daughter-loving fool has done so much for you, so you can do this much.]
‘But it’s too overwhelming! Look at those eyes! The moment I say something wrong, I feel like I’ll burst into tears!’
Seriously, what’s going on! While I was feeling down for a moment, what happened! Someone please explain to me!
“Um, Lucy.”
“What is it, foolish Papa?”
“I’m sorry for being such a useless father.”
Why is he suddenly apologizing?! Now I feel even more pressure!
What’s going on? Did Benedict do something wrong?
No matter how hard I think about it, it feels like there are way more wrongdoings from me and the old Lucy towards Benedict!
“When you were in the most pain, I couldn’t be there for you, and I’m sorry.”
I was just about to shove away Benedict’s hand and run away when I heard his words and lifted my head. His eyes were filled with tears.
“I’m such a foolish, inadequate man that I could only think of my own suffering. That’s why, even when you reached out for help, I couldn’t grasp your hand.”
Now that I, who had seen Lucy’s past, understood what Benedict was trying to apologize for. I knew the sorrow and despair Lucy had endured, and thus I understood what he wished to convey.
So I could say nothing in response.
The one Benedict needed to apologize to wasn’t me.
Benedict, kneeling in the snow, wasn’t asking for forgiveness from me.
I, who had merely fallen into this world, had neither the right to forgive nor the right to be forgiven.
“I know it’s shameless to apologize after such a long time, but… I…”
That was the moment emotions welled up from deep within my heart.
Just as I was furious when I heard Mira’s insult.
Just like I was calmed when I saw Benedict’s sorrowful face.
I might not have known the source of this emotion in the past, but now I think I do.
This is Lucy’s emotion.
The heart of a child who resented a father who abandoned her, but couldn’t bring herself to hate or despise him.
I don’t know why this fills my heart, but one thing is clear.
This feeling is telling me what I need to do right now.
I squatted down, meeting eyes with Benedict, and smiled under the shadow he cast.
“Papa.”
The words overflowing from my heart needed no translation from the Mesugaki Skill.
My site has received a lot of DMCA notices, lol. From now on, I will update the MTL on https://darkmtl.com/.
The site is fast and lightweight because there are no ads yet. However, the theme is different from Cybor-TL, so take some time to familiarize yourself.
Support me by donating at least $10, and you'll have the right to request any novel from Novelpia (excluding 19+ content) using a newly developed tool.