Chapter: 333
Phoebe lived a life far removed from play since she was very young.
She would begin her day with prayers for me and the various clergy.
After that, she studied the Bible and Divine Magic.
In the afternoon, she wandered around helping others in different regions.
By the evening, she would receive confession or study some more.
Once every schedule was completed, she would prepare prayers for the next day until she fell asleep.
A monotonous routine devoid of the word “rest” was harsh for a child, but Phoebe bore it all, believing it was a weight she must carry.
Since the Great Lord Jushin had chosen her, she gritted her teeth to prove that His choice was not wrong.
However.
However.
Everything that had supported Phoebe in the past was a lie.
The memories of the orphanage that made her wish for tomorrow not to come were nonexistent.
The orphanage she longed for was a place filled with blood and screams.
What she thought was warmth was actually a hell filled with cold cynicism, lifeless bodies, and dried tears.
The title of Saintess she bore was also false.
The Great Lord Jushin had never chosen anyone as a Saintess.
The title of Saintess was a fictional existence created by the corrupt church for their benefit.
All the weight she endured was for the corrupt ones, not for the Lord Jushin.
Months passed after realizing this truth, but every time Phoebe recalled the reality, she let out a small laugh.
How easily a person’s life can be created and how easily a life can be denied.
Though she had a righteous heart, accepting that her life was merely a farce made by someone else was not easy.
What would have happened if there hadn’t been someone to support me back then?
If it hadn’t been for the Young Lady.
If the one receiving the Great Lord Jushin’s love had not been there.
Had the Apostle of God, who despite having a small body contained a will as massive as the sun, not been beside her, could she have smiled like she does now?
” Puhaha! Foolish Young Lady, what a real idiot! How can you get this wrong?”
“But it’s unfair! You just changed one word and set a trap!”
“Right~ I guess it is unfair~ Foolish Young Lady wouldn’t want to be foolish either~”
“Ugh! Ughhhh!”
Watching Lucy, who had no intention of holding back her laughter, and Joy, who clenched her hands in anger, Phoebe shrugged her shoulders along with her laughter.
Why imagine what hasn’t happened? It’s much better to focus on the present.
“Joy, do you really think that’s right?”
“Isn’t it…? Phoebe?”
“Phoebe, it’s problematic to give hints to a fool. A fool is cutest when being foolish.”
“Cute… No! Young Lady! At the very least, please add the word Young Lady at the end! Or call me by my name like you do with Phoebe!”
“If you pass my score, I’ll think about it. Of course, a foolish fool winning against me is impossible.”
“Ahhh! No way!”
Phoebe burst into laughter at Joy’s grievance, who had forgotten her usual Duchess-like demeanor.
Playing with friends, truly a joyous thing.
If it weren’t for the Young Lady pulling me out, this wouldn’t have happened.
Is that all? I’d likely have locked myself in a room praying to calm my unease, starting to doubt myself amidst growing anxiety.
This morning.
After waking up as usual, Phoebe chewed her lips, overwhelmed by rising unease.
She was far too scared of the cruel truth she would hear today.
Though she thought she had prepared herself, in reality, she was not prepared at all.
Despite praying countless times for this insufficient self of hers to be protected, the unease that wouldn’t disappear led Phoebe to Lucy’s room.
She moved without a plan, thinking that if she could be near her warm Divine presence, the anxiety would fade.
However, even when Phoebe reached in front of Lucy’s door, she couldn’t bring herself to knock.
Countless thoughts that hadn’t crossed her mind before leaving her room gripped her ankles.
Wouldn’t it be rude to visit when she hasn’t even found her place yet?
Wouldn’t waking her up disrupt her mood?
What if she was washing up or praying, and she disturbed her?
As worries spiraled into more worries, Phoebe couldn’t bring herself to knock on the door.
But somehow, Lucy, sensing Phoebe’s dilemma, opened the door first and welcomed her out.
With a nobility even more radiant than usual.
“You don’t know this, Young Lady.
The moment I faced your face, the unease in my heart flew away.
And you also wouldn’t know.
How much I pondered when you first asked about my wish.
And how joyful I was when you called my name.
You probably don’t know this either.
When you promised to take me out to the world, saying you would do as I wished, how surprised I was.
And how hard it was to keep from laughing when I recklessly sought out Joy, saying it couldn’t be done based on your reputation.
And throughout today, while playing with you and Joy, experiencing actual fun for the first time with friends made me incredibly happy.
If I ask if you came out to relieve my unease, you would surely deny it.
You may be accustomed to giving, but you are clumsy in receiving.”
So I won’t ask.
Instead, I’ll hold today’s events in my heart.
I’ll become someone who can stand beside you without shame.
And await the day I can repay you.
“Young Lady! Just you wait! Next time I’ll win!”
“Today, you’ve only lost all day; can you really expect a different result next time? It’d be impossible for a foolish fool to suddenly become skillful.”
“B-Believe me, I didn’t only lose! I won a few times, you know?!”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you lost to the Young Lady.”
“That’s the same for you, Phoebe!”
“Hyuh~ A fool is really celebrating winning against someone who played their first board game today? Truly noble of you~”
“Ugh! Waaaah! Why is no one on my side?!”
Joy, whose face had turned as red as a sunset, ran away while exclaiming they’d see her later. Once Joy’s presence disappeared, Lucy turned her head toward Phoebe.
“Phoebe.”
“Yes, Young Lady.”
“Are you mentally prepared? I’m worried that timid Phoebe might end up locking herself in her room since there’s plenty of pressure.”
“I’m okay. Really.”
No matter what kind of story I hear, if the Young Lady is beside me, I’ll be able to smile.
“Showing off with a sloppy topic and bravado.”
Lucy led Phoebe to a restaurant on Academy Street.
Upon seeing Lucy, the staff approached her with a mechanical smile, leading her and Phoebe to a room on the 2nd floor, saying there was an empty spot.
“Welcome. You two.”
“Ah. Finally, we’re here. Come sit quickly. There’s a mountain of things to discuss.”
There, the Bishop Johan of Jushin Church and Karia, Lucy’s informant, were waiting.
Once the staff closed the door, Karia cast a few spells and rested her chin, scrutinizing Phoebe’s face.
“Our Saintess, how much do you know?”
“…I…”
“Ah, it’s okay. You don’t have to answer; just listen. The church’s corruption? You have a rough idea, right? That you are a false Saintess? Oh, you know that too? What about your horrific past? Wow, you know that too? Impressive.”
Phoebe felt her breath catch amidst Karia’s relentless barrage of words.
A sly glint in her eyes, a thorny voice, a peculiar tone, and playful gestures.
Separately, they seemed trivial, but combined, even the usually politically astute Phoebe felt a burden grow.
“Enough. Auntie. It’s incredibly ugly to be jealous of someone younger and prettier than you.”
“I’m not particularly jealous. Well, sorry about that, Saintess. Living a rough life has made it a habit to measure people.”
“No, it’s fine. It wasn’t a big deal.”
“Hmm. Really?”
Karia studied Phoebe’s face up and down as if measuring something and then smiled.
“What I will tell you today will only reaffirm what you already know. There’s still insufficient information for more than that, and many issues are sensitive.”
Phoebe easily understood the meaning of “sensitive.”
She meant regarding the corrupt church members.
Once someone knows who is connected to the corruption, no matter how calm they act, it’s bound to show.
“Please understand, Saintess. When the time comes, I will definitely tell you.”
Hearing Johan’s stern voice, Phoebe tried to force a smile.
It’s unavoidable. I’m still someone who has far more shortcomings than possessions.
“Saintess, are you ready to hear the story?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Then place your hand on this crystal ball. It’ll take you to where you started.”
…If it’s where I started…
No way.
Surprised by the unexpected words, Phoebe quickly turned her gaze sideways.
Seeing Phoebe’s eye signal, Lucy, who had been frowning about something, silently nodded.
Really.
Did they really find that orphanage?
That hellish place?
As Phoebe stared wide-eyed at the crystal ball, feeling the warmth beside her, she took a deep breath.
It’s okay.
What could go wrong with the Young Lady beside me?
I’m just seeing what I need to face someday.
It’s okay, Phoebe.
It’ll definitely be alright.
The moment the mentally prepared Phoebe placed her hand on the crystal ball, her vision flipped.
When she barely regained consciousness amidst the effects of teleportation, she found herself kneeling in a field.
This place…
Staggering to rise, Phoebe took in a building set in a desolate area, receiving not even a glimmer of moonlight.
It was well-maintained, as if people had lived there until recently, yet utterly empty inside.
The orphanage building, unchanged from her memories.
Thud. With her legs losing strength, Phoebe collapsed onto the grass, staring blankly at the building.
What she thought was playing with friends, was, in reality, a place used only to bury bodies.
What she thought was a modest but satisfactory meal was a place that didn’t even give a proper piece of bread.
She remembered having whispered conversations with friends, but originally, they had been terrified of making even a slight noise, fearing they would be beaten near death.
What she thought was a hymn echoing was merely the sound of children’s screams in the prayer room.
As Phoebe recalled the false memories and true nightmares, she heard laughter and screams ringing alternately in her ears, finally retching on the ground.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’ll do well, so please don’t hit me! Please! I… Kyaaaak!”
“I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.”
“No, not the prayer room. I don’t want to pray. I don’t care about gods.”
“Why are you the only one not in pain!? Why only you…”
“Phoebe.”
Snapping back to reality at the sweet voice seeping into her ears, Phoebe slowly lifted her head, following the warmth surrounding her.
Bright red hair shining in the darkness.
Eyes as clear as jewels.
Trustworthy laughter, and shoulders that looked broader than ever.
The moment Phoebe faced Lucy, backlit by the moon, she felt her nightmares ebb away.
“Have you forgotten how to stand on your own two legs? Or has your weight made it impossible to rise?”
“…Haha. No way, that can’t be it.”
Pushing herself off the ground, Phoebe offered a prayer to the cross around her neck.
Great Lord Jushin, please grant this insufficient person the courage to face the truth.
Grant her the strength to move forward without crumbling in front of harsh realities.
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