I’ve already died six times to that woman.
Two of those times were so agonizing that I never want to recall them again.
Snip the thin parts, slice the thick ones, slowly pulling out my insides.
Slowly.
Slowly torturing me.
Savoring my screams.
Enjoying the twisted expressions of pain on my face.
Delighting in all of it as she killed me.
‘…She’s enjoying this.’
Emily realized through her six deaths.
That woman seemed to laugh, as if giving pain was the greatest pleasure in the world.
She danced on Emily’s face, unable to contain herself at Emily’s suffering.
Emily was terrified.
Not just of facing death.
But of the fear that the endless agony would continue.
If only she could die once.
But even if she dies, she returns to the morning and repeats the day again.
The pain of being sliced, the bizarre woman chasing after her.
The unknown terror that could go on forever.
The fear of not being able to end it plunged Emily into despair.
Even if she sought help from others, it was useless unless she could see them.
She never imagined Adrian would die so quickly.
If Adrian can’t handle it, who in this academy could possibly face her?
‘…Who… please help me.’
Emily, face down on the desk, cried silently in her heart.
And the person who came to mind was the one who saved her from danger in the forest not long ago.
Ken Feinstein.
Emily looked up at his empty spot.
His strength that blocked her path and killed the giant in one stroke.
Ken was definitely as strong as Adrian in this academy.
With him, she could win against that woman.
But with her opponent unseen, combat can’t be established.
Beseeching him would only put him in danger.
‘…And there’s no way he’d help me.’
Emily recalled the day two days ago.
The day that felt like just a few days ago with its six repetitions.
Ken’s gaze that looked at her with disgust.
His voice laced with resentment.
His words that he never wanted to see her again.
‘Someone like me… there’s no way he’d help me….’
Emily realized now.
What she had done to Ken.
Just as that bizarre woman inflicted pain on Emily for her own pleasure.
Emily had also given pain to Ken for her desires.
She reveled in his suffering and continued to torment him.
That’s why Emily painfully understood how she appeared to Ken.
To Ken, she was a monster.
A monster that inflicts pain and enjoys it.
A monster that clings on desperately, refusing to let go.
‘…This isn’t something that can be solved with an apology.’
The next day after Ken was furious.
She realized how foolish and shameless she was for wanting to apologize right away.
There was no way Ken would help someone like her asking for assistance.
Even asking for help was something Emily didn’t have the right to do.
She buried her face in her arms and cried.
No one could help her.
In this painful day, all alone.
All alone, she had to keep repeating it.
The agony of being ripped apart by that woman.
‘…Is there anyone… please help me.’
There was no one who could help her.
Emily slumped down beneath a tree.
This was the starting point of the path from the academy to the dormitory.
‘…Soon, …it’ll be that time.’
Emily looked up at the sky.
The blue sky visible between the shaking leaves.
Soon, it would be painted orange and the sunset would descend.
Then she’d face her seventh death.
As the thought sank in, tears flowed from Emily’s empty eyes.
‘…I don’t want this, …I don’t want to hurt.’
But there was no escape.
Nothing was on Emily’s side.
Not her friends, nor the academy, and even time had abandoned her.
In the reality that none of it could help her, despair engulfed her.
At last, Emily took her eyes away from the sky and buried her face in her knees.
Just like this.
Like this, she wanted to close her eyes in the darkness.
And die without pain.
She wanted to die comfortably and never come back to life.
‘…This is surely punishment.’
It was the sin she had committed.
Her sin of tormenting the boy who had rescued her purely for her own desires.
The sky was inflicting that punishment.
That’s why she was suffering like this.
Emily buried her face in her knees, tears streaming down.
She prayed for the pain to pass quickly.
“…Emily?”
At that moment, a familiar voice called her.
Slowly raising her head at that voice, Emily saw.
The voice she’d longed to hear, the one she’d been searching for.
It was Ken Feinstein.
“Whoa! A-Are you okay?! What happened?!”
Seeing Emily, soaked in tears, Ken rushed over, startled.
Then he was flustered and checked on her condition.
Emily stared blankly at that scene.
Just two days ago, he was the one who had gotten mad at her, and now he was worried for her.
In his kindness, Emily felt a heavy weight of guilt.
“…W-Was it because of what I said last time?”
Ken guessed the reason, seeing her in tears.
“I’m sorry about that, I was a bit sensitive that day too. I shouldn’t have said it like that….”
While the fault was clearly Emily’s, Ken apologized instead.
He seemed truly sorry, looking troubled.
‘…Ken, you’re so kind.’
Seeing him like that, Emily wiped her tears and got up.
She couldn’t just cry like a fool when he was apologizing to her.
Realizing her own sins, she felt there was something she had to say to him.
“…Ken, I have something to say.”
“Uh, uh? What is it?”
“…You see, I…”
And Emily tried to apologize to Ken.
She knew it wasn’t just about apologizing, but she couldn’t help but apologize.
Just as she opened her mouth.
‘…But even if I apologize, …if I die this time…’
Soon Emily’s death would arrive, and then the fact that she had apologized would vanish and she would return to the morning.
‘…I don’t want to cowardly make this important matter into nothing.’
Ken would accept her apology because he’s kind.
But if Emily dies afterward, the fact that she apologized would disappear and only her guilt would remain.
She didn’t want a cowardly apology like that.
“…Ken, I…!”
So, she decided to say what she wanted to say to Ken, but without causing him hassle by making him forget this memory.
Perhaps it was just another desire.
But even if she was dying, she wanted to say it.
Her revelation.
Emily clenched her fist tightly.
“I…!”
To make sure Ken wouldn’t misunderstand, she looked at him earnestly.
Moving her trembling lips with difficulty, she conveyed her honest feelings to him.
“I like you!”
If it were to vanish along with her death, she wanted to convey her honest feelings.
“…Huh?”
Ken, waiting with a nervous face for what Emily had to say, looked stunned at her words.
The expression of someone who thought they had misheard.
At his reaction, Emily suppressed her embarrassment and opened her mouth again.
With her honest feelings.
“I actually like you. I like you as a man. I like you, and… that’s why I troubled you.”
“…Huh? Ah, no, wait, what?!”
“Isn’t that childish? But it’s true, believe me. I like you so much, and I wanted to deny it, that’s why I did such foolish things….”
Ken’s flustered face.
Seeing him like that, Emily forced herself to smile to ease the tense atmosphere.
“…I’m sorry for saying something so sudden.”
Confessing to the boy who had said he never wanted to see her again just two days ago.
It would surely be a bother.
But since he wouldn’t remember after today anyway.
“Um, um, so… Emily, I…”
Ken, blushing, was flustered.
Even if there had been no such incident two days ago, such a sudden confession would be shocking.
And Ken seemed to be choosing his response.
Emily reached out her hand to stop him from responding.
“Sorry, Ken. For suddenly putting you in a bind. …But it’s okay! It’ll be nothing after all.”
“…Huh?”
This was also something that he surely couldn’t understand.
How could something already said become as if it never happened? It made no sense.
But in that reality, Emily spoke without hesitation.
“So, just this once, let it go. After today ends and tomorrow comes again, then I won’t trouble you….”
“…”
“I-I won’t, uh, trouble you anymore….”
She knew he would probably reject her confession.
Of course.
He wouldn’t accept the feelings of the girl who had tormented him.
So, she prepared to halt Ken’s response.
But realizing her love couldn’t come true, Emily burst into tears.
She’d forced a smile to prevent troubling him further.
But still, the pain of rejection made tears flow.
“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Ken….”
Once she let it out, the tears wouldn’t stop falling.
“…”
Ken stared blankly at Emily.
Sudden confession from her.
And an incomprehensible explanation.
After hearing all that, Ken’s flushed face faded away.
“…Emily, you…”
At his voice, Emily trembled and looked up.
No matter what kind of answer she would get, she stared at him with tears in her eyes, bracing for it.
He had a serious expression as he looked at her.
And then he finally opened his mouth.
“How many times have you died now…?”
