Chapter: 116
Why is it only you who hears the Voice of God?
Why is the Word of God only reaching you?
Why?
What difference is there between you and me?
I can’t understand.
I don’t want to understand.
Isn’t that right?
I’m the one who tried harder to please God.
I’m the one who dedicated my life to help Him.
I’m the one who lived my life carefully for you in every action and word.
Why does He only speak to you?
Why?
“Hey.”
As Phoebe gazed ahead, she hurriedly took a step back upon hearing Lucy’s voice.
What have I just done?
Idiot.
Fool.
How could I envy others again!
“Shoddy Saintess?”
“Oh! Y-you said you would help me with the curse contained in this sword?! Please wait inside for a moment! I’ll finish and bring it to you!”
Phoebe shouted and then ran away into the church.
If a priest saw this, he would say, “Saintess, you shouldn’t act so recklessly.” But Phoebe had no time to care about him.
Staring at Lucy only made the dark feelings in her heart grow larger.
It felt as if she would be consumed by darkness if she didn’t run away.
After running for a while, when Phoebe arrived in a room and realized she was alone, she exhaled heavily and collapsed onto the floor.
Why am I acting like this?
It’s not like I’ve seen someone who hears the Voice of God just once or twice.
If I wait, I know someday I will get an answer.
But why do I feel like this every time I see Lady Allen?
Why?
Since the incident on the Academy street last time, Phoebe has been intentionally avoiding Lucy.
Every time she faced her, every time she saw the necklace hanging around her neck,
Occasionally, every time she saw the mace in her hand, strange feelings only bubbled up, leaving her helpless.
At first, Phoebe couldn’t understand her feelings.
She was like a pristine white canvas, painted over in pure white.
There was no space for dark emotions to invade.
She had no choice but to feel clumsy against the invading black.
But that’s not true now.
Phoebe now knows exactly what those rising emotions in her heart are.
It was jealousy.
Jealousy towards the one who monopolized God’s love.
Phoebe believed that Lucy Allen was undoubtedly loved by Armadi.
This was not a claim that needed discussion or debate.
She hears Armadi’s voice every month; it’s something that’s hard to hear even once in a lifetime.
If Lucy wasn’t receiving love from the Lord Jushin, then who else could be said to have received Armadi’s love?
Thinking so, every time Phoebe saw Lucy, she recalled memories of her time in the orphanage.
Before she was even called a Saintess.
Memories of questioning whether I could actually be someone who could be loved by others.
The orphanage director, who ran that place, was certainly a good person.
Even though he had nothing to gain, he showed mercy to the orphans.
Yet, as a human, that love couldn’t have been perfect.
There were few people, but many children to care for; how could that mercy reach everyone?
Helplessly, whenever Phoebe was away from the director’s reach and stayed in a corner, she would occasionally feel anxiety as she watched the children smiling in his hands.
What if that hand that reaches out to others never comes back to me?
Yet, it was an unfounded worry.
The orphanage director was a good person, and he would come and warm the places where his love hadn’t been bestowed.
Even now, Phoebe had the same worries.
If Armadi loved Lady Allen too much,
If He became blind with that love,
Would He forget to spread that warmth widely and only give it to one person? This nonsensical worry was circulating in her mind.
Phoebe didn’t fail to realize the conclusion of this worry.
Armadi is a noble and esteemed being, so there’s no way he would show favoritism.
Even if it looks like favoritism, it’s foresight for the greater glory.
As someone who believes in the Will of God, it’s not something to doubt.
Having received education to become a Saintess all her life at the church, Phoebe obviously knew this fact.
However.
However.
In the end, Phoebe is also human.
Before being a Saintess, she was just a girl.
There was no stopping doubts from arising.
“Armadi.”
Please take away my black-hearted emotions.
Please let me know that your love is spread throughout the world.
Please grant your miracle to this doubting and insufficient believer.
Please.
Bam.
Phoebe, with her eyes closed in prayer, startled and jumped up when she heard the sound of the door opening.
“Saintess, what are you doing here?”
“…I was just resting for a moment.”
Phoebe tried to act calm, but she couldn’t hide her disheveled hair, wrinkled clothes, and tear-stained eyes.
The priest of the church sensed something was off but didn’t pry deeper.
Instead, he merely asked about the sword Phoebe was holding as if he knew nothing.
*
“Did my lady give a gift to someone like me?!”
When Phoebe handed over the sword for him to use, Karl trembled with both hands as he took it.
Then he looked at the sword with wide eyes as if he had seen magic, embraced it, and fell backward.
Since it was just the bare ground, a loud noise erupted when Karl fell, but he had the most serene face, savoring happiness.
“What the?!”
“Professor Karl, what’s wrong with him?!”
“Don’t tell me…”
“Hey, keep your voice down.”
Karl, can’t you see what’s around you?
Because of your commotion, it seems like Lady Allen’s bizarre rumors are going to increase!
Why is it that I have to suffer because I tried to do something nice for the guards?!
Frustrated, Phoebe kicked Karl’s thigh, but his face was still serene.
Is he even feeling pain?!
I’m really irritated!
“Shoddy♡ Are you a masochist wanting to be trampled by a girl?♡ How can this be called a knight?♡ Gross♡ Pervert♡ I wish you would just die like this♡”
Filled with anger, she hurled insults as she hoped he’d get up, but none of it got through to the happy Karl.
Seriously, how is this my most reliable knight?
I’m grateful that you like me, but could you at least act like a normal human?
Sigh. He’ll get up eventually.
Until then, I might as well get something done.
After all, there’s something I need to check.
This was something I had intended to check, but I couldn’t due to Cecil’s interruption.
Quest.
[Field Trip is an Event!]
[Gain the approval of the Forest’s Master.]
[Reward: ???]
[Failure: Something truly humiliating.]
Field trips are regular events that happen every semester.
It’s a sort of lesson meant to give students, who had always been stuck in Academy’s standardized battle training, a taste of real combat.
Depending on their grades, rewards are given, and there are specific events at each location; completing them grants additional bonuses.
The event for the first-year first semester field trip is precisely that Forest’s Master.
When failing to meet certain conditions, it becomes a format where you fight the Master of the Forest you cannot meet.
The rewards are quite worthwhile, so for a veteran gamer, it’s something one must clear.
Since I was planning to meet the Master of the Forest anyway, receiving a reward is just a bonus.
Thank you, Lord Jushin, for continuously doing these things for me.
But I’m actually a bit scared.
The fact that someone who usually doesn’t act this way keeps doing beneficial things for me naturally raises the question, “What awaits next?”
Especially, the thing that exacerbates my anxiety is that.
Something truly humiliating in case of failure.
What on earth is that?
I don’t even know why the word humiliation is there, and I have no idea why it’s emphasized as “truly.”
Of course, I wouldn’t fail that quest, but “what if” exists.
If I were to somehow fail the quest, what would happen to me?
What kind of disgrace would I face?!
I can’t bear the anxiety of what kind of humiliation a sadistic, masochistic, perverted Shoddy God would think of!
Damn it!
I finally had some leisure these days, but one word made it impossible to enjoy it!
You freaking Shoddy God!
Ugh. I’m so stressed out.
I want to smash something.
I want to torment something.
I want a place to relieve this stress!
While having those thoughts, I suddenly remembered a being that perfectly fits those criteria.
Nakrad.
That guy messing around outside the Soul Academy.
The Apostle of Evil God is someone who must be eradicated anyway.
It might be impossible to catch him now due to my insufficient preparation, but I can certainly torment him, right?
He’s still at a point where the seals of the Evil Gods are mostly unbroken, so he should be weak.
If I take Karl and Alsatine, I can definitely make him cry.
Imagining the scene where the one who played with me when I was on the verge of defeat ends up crying?
Ah, I’m hungry! Bring me food!
Just thinking about it is already delicious!
I’m sure Arthur mentioned that he comes out at night.
So I can start moving soon.
“Shoddy puppy♡ Until when are you going to ignore your master’s words?♡ Do you want to be a stray dog?♡”
“No, I don’t!”
Seeing Karl jump up at those last words made me involuntarily sigh.
If you’re going to get up, do it earlier.
Are you doing this just to get beaten?
Are you trying to be a masochistic pervert like that Shoddy God too? Huh?!
If it weren’t for your abilities, you would have been abandoned long ago.
*
“Thank you very much!”
Nakrad smiled as he watched the Academy student bow to him and leave.
Thankful?
No, I should be the one who’s grateful.
Slowly, the energy of Tariki is spreading throughout the Academy, you see.
Last time, when his plan failed, Nakrad was in despair.
It was absurd.
How was it possible for the dungeon he built in a remote area to be conquered by someone?
How could such a thing happen?!
In the midst of the despair of failure, only one person popped into Nakrad’s mind.
The cursed Apostle of Armadi.
That guy must have taken some kind of action using the revelation of Armadi that’s even worse than a dog.
Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been possible.
Regardless of how the situation was flowing, it was a fact that Nakrad had failed.
Because of his carelessness, Tariki’s plan faced an issue!
Consumed by despair, Nakrad wished to atone with his life, but Tariki was merciful.
He granted Nakrad a new opportunity!
Moved by that mercy, Nakrad devised a plan to redeem his failure.
That was precisely this.
To gradually allow the energy of Tariki to seep into the students of the Academy.
They wouldn’t know.
The moment Nakrad began trading with them, a contract is formed, and thus, the energy of Tariki enters his body.
The being he serves, Tariki, is the Evil God of Darkness.
Once it seeps in, it boasts of a secretiveness that even Armadi the bastard of a God cannot find out.
Unbeknownst to anyone, the energy of the Evil God is gradually spreading within the Academy.
Ahh.
Another person has increased today.
If it continues like this, the moment will soon come when the intentions of the Evil God will unfold inside the Academy.
Lost in those thoughts, Nakrad halted when he felt an overwhelming energy he equally despised.
Oh? Isn’t this the Apostle of Armadi?
How careless.
To visit here when darkness is about to cover the world.
Didn’t the incompetent Armadi warn of a threat?
Fine. Since my prey has walked right into my mouth, how could I withdraw?
I should move my jaw and taste this prey.
Oh Apostle of Armadi, you will pay for the price of obstructing me!
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