“I’m sorry for showing you something you shouldn’t have seen…!”
Verdandi said as she wiped her tears. Her puffy eyes and flushed cheeks revealed just how much she had bottled up her emotions.
“It’s okay. There are no perfect people in this world. Everyone makes mistakes, fails, and learns.”
I smiled gently at Verdandi, knowing she was just twisted because there was no one around to properly guide her in expressing her feelings. Just like I once was before my first love, when I hadn’t learned how to express emotions through words.
– What’s your name? Do Hyeon? That’s a unique name.
Yeah, it felt like a distant word now, but that was definitely my name in reality.
– Do Hyeon, you really can’t write. How can you put down such an unpleasant experience on paper?
Han Dohyun (한도현).
The name means putting a period (玄) on the road (道).
If someone were to hear it, they’d probably think it was destined for a life as a writer, but unlike my first love, I had no talent.
– There are too many commas in your writing. The line breaks are weird, and in the end, you’re just spouting nonsense that only you understand.
I heard this from the girl sitting next to me whenever I filled out my manuscript paper in school.
– Your thinking is too extreme. Who would read a piece that’s just sad all the time?
Her name was Yoo Seolhwa (유설화). A naturally talented writer, unlike me.
Seolhwa had a knack for writing beautiful prose and had the power to move people’s emotions.
The reason I was now straining to save the final bosses might have been largely due to her influence.
– Every story should end with a happy ending. The writer, the reader, and the characters should all be happy.
Her words had stuck in my heart like a sharp thorn.
“……”
“Bing Yeon? Why are you suddenly like this?”
As I paused while stepping out to find others, Verdandi asked me.
“I’m just lost in some old memories. I was thinking about someone I miss.”
What would Seolhwa say if she saw this situation? Reborn in a world where the characters from a novel are alive, living a life on borrowed time.
And I, to atone for my sins, am going around saving final bosses…
“Who is this person? You looked incredibly sad!”
Verdandi quickly read my expression and smiled brightly. Children are sensitive to the emotional changes of others.
‘…Was this part of the setting I wrote down?’
I closed my eyes tightly. Verdandi had been living like this all along.
Prioritizing others’ emotions over her own. Her stress had exploded after all these years.
That’s why she crumbled with a single oracle from the divine and was easily swayed by my unfamiliar words.
“She was my first love. A memory from a pure time when I knew nothing, one that can’t be undone now.”
“…What does first love even mean?”
Proving my point, Verdandi didn’t even know the meaning of first love. Seeing her innocent expression, I sighed deeply.
“It means the first person you have feelings for, the one you hold the most tender feelings for.”
“I don’t really understand! There have been kids who confessed their love to me, but they were all just teasing me!”
In this way, Verdandi was like a blank slate, not knowing what stories would be written upon her.
If I hadn’t stopped her, she would have become a murdering fiend, judging all life in this world as evil and cutting them down.
“Does that include those kinds of things as love?”
Out of the blue, Verdandi blocked my path and asked. Looking at her pure and untainted smile, I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.
“No. Love is the feeling that compels you to sacrifice your life for another. You may do anything for love, but you won’t intentionally hurt the one you love…”
“…Then does that mean you love me, Bing Yeon? This is embarrassing!”
To be exact, it was a feeling close to paternal love. I wanted all the characters I created to be happy.
It was just a childish wish to fulfill the homework Seolhwa had left me, delayed and delayed again. Calling it love felt almost shameful.
“No. This is a teacher’s affection for their student. When you grow up, meet people, and build connections, you’ll find someone you love and get married.”
I imagined a scene of Biwul in a wedding dress alongside Verdandi and Azazel.
A tall, handsome man standing beside them, thanking me as they had their wedding.
If I witnessed that in reality, I might just burst into tears. I could finally understand why fathers- giving their daughters away at weddings- often cry at the ceremony.
“Among the men in my life, you’re the first guy who has shown me such affection, Bing Yeon! Is it wrong to marry you?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
To me, these three were like daughters. For a writer, characters in a story feel like children.
Though my finger licked Biwul earlier, I had never harbored any lewd intentions toward her.
“I am your teacher. I don’t think a teacher has such feelings toward their students.”
Even if such a person existed, could you still call them a teacher?
If this teacher-student relationship were to evolve into a romantic one, they would have to endure the world’s unkind gaze and finger-pointing.
“That’s not impossible! The men in this village have looked at me with lecherous eyes when they saw me! I don’t think I’m lacking in charm!”
“…At least, I don’t think of you that way. I’ve never seen my students in such a light.”
I could hardly bear to look at my disciples.
Bing Yeon, who had accepted even beggars, cripples, and those who had sold their bodies and organs, was seen as unorthodox.
Adding to that, because she mainly used ice magic, she was called not a righteous faction but an evil one.
“This is true! Bing Yeon, you’re genuinely a clean person!”
Verdandi distinguished between truth and lies regarding this too. Puhuhuh, she chuckled.
“A teacher leads their students with respect and admiration. At least that’s how I see it. If you try to lead with force or fear, you’ll eventually lose their trust.”
I briefly slowed my pace as I looked at Verdandi. At the academy where I worked, there was an instructor who managed students under the supposition of punishment and love.
‘…That guy was thoroughly roasted by the students behind his back.’
He was the exact opposite of me, and although I had harshly criticized his method of discipline a few times, it hadn’t had any effect.
“A person’s heart is delicate, much like fine glass; sometimes you won’t know anything if you don’t express it with words or actions.”
Though called ‘the handsome teacher’ or ‘the sculptural beauty,’ my true specialty was in counseling.
Listening to students’ dreams and worries, helping them avoid the wrong path.
That was my little escape after giving up my dream of being a writer.
“So that’s why you embraced me so warmly! If I had the right to choose a father, it would be someone like you, Bing Yeon!”
When I heard Verdandi’s words, I couldn’t help but give a wry smile. Of course, that was because I was the one who crafted her story.
In the past, after being referred to as ‘the son nobody wanted’ by my father, I just transcribed it into my writing.
What on earth had gone wrong?
“There’s no need to keep adding honorifics like ‘Sir’ to my name. Just calling me teacher is enough.”
As I looked at Verdandi, I patted her head like I did with Biwul. It felt like it had been a long time; her hair now felt a little rough.
“Is calling you ‘teacher’ enough?”
Verdandi nodded vigorously, her eyes twinkling brightly. It seemed she had the urge to call me ‘teacher’ in her heart, just like Biwul did.
It sounded slightly awkward, but it was better than carrying the formality of adding ‘Sir’ to my name.
“Ah, look over there. Your mother is waiting for you. Go ahead and meet her.”
“Yes, teacher!”
With a slight hesitation, Verdandi appeared frightened to move forward, and I gently nudged her along with my palm.
This was something I couldn’t help with. The relationship between parent and child was a problem they had to resolve themselves.
*
Realizing her surroundings, Eila couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Verdandi had clearly blamed her and stabbed her with a knife.
The wound in her abdomen, which had even caused some of her insides to spill out, was miraculously healed as if it had never happened.
“You almost died if you had been any later.”
The woman grimaced as she gulped down her wine. She was the same person who had been called ‘Golden Shrine Maiden’ earlier.
“Did you save me?”
“Yes, but save your thanks for later. Someone threw themselves into your family quarrel.”
Wolfram sighed in relief upon seeing Eila. If it hadn’t been for Bing Yeon’s quick thinking and situation assessment, things might have gone wrong.
“Together with my daughter…? Wait, what happened to Verdandi?”
“She’s coming over there. Do well moving forward.”
Just as Wolfram said, I heard footsteps approaching from afar, and a girl crowned with a golden laurel was getting closer to her.
“Verdandi…?”
The identity before her was none other than her precious daughter, Verdandi.
As Verdandi walked slowly and then broke into a run, Eila’s face expressed disbelief.
– Even a beast loves its young, yet I was nearly killed by my mother when I was just an infant!
Eila might not have remembered that she had once tried to kill Verdandi as a child. She figured it was too early to recall and ultimately ended up as an attempted murder.
Even with blood spilling from the knife wound, Eila tried to stay conscious to hear all the emotions Verdandi had kept pent up.
This was all her own fault, stemming from not loving Verdandi enough.
“Are you hurt anywhere…?”
“Mother….”
Thus, Eila’s first words to Verdandi were precisely this.
A very ordinary thing for a parent to say, worrying about their child.
“I was the one who made all the mistakes. I should have recognized your feelings sooner… at the very least, I should have listened to your troubles.”
“……Hah.”
Verdandi was left speechless by Eila’s attitude. Despite nearly being killed with a knife, she couldn’t understand her mother’s plea for forgiveness.
“I don’t like my mother.”
Verdandi’s hands clenched into fists. She was mad at the sight of her mother, who asked for forgiveness in a situation like this.
“Even after trying to kill me, Mother, you are not angry! Do you know how the village people see me?!”
“It’s all my fault. It happened because I was lacking. I’m sorry, my daughter.”
Slowly stroking her cheek, Eila opened her arms wide and embraced Verdandi.
If only she had been able to demonstrate this feeling of love earlier, they could have avoided all this.
“Stop saying you’re sorry! You have done nothing wrong, mother!”
Verdandi spoke with determination in her voice, her throat filled with emotion.
“I was an unwanted child! The daughter of some stranger born from a robbery, someone whose father doesn’t even know who he is!”
“……”
“This is all my fault! I fell for the divine oracle’s trick and thought you were the evildoer!”
She wished her mother would at least slap her. She wanted her to express her disdain by cursing her.
Or at least, she longed for some reprimands for what had occurred.
“Why aren’t you angry?! I almost died at your hands!”
If only Verdandi had seen Eila clinging to her as she sobbed, both of them continued to cry without stopping.
She should’ve also said she was sorry, that she made a mistake. Why couldn’t she show her true feelings?
“It’s because, my dear Verdandi, I love you more than anyone else.”
“…Teacher.”
“Even if a child stabs their parent, such is the nature of parenthood. It’s to question oneself as to what wrong they did.”
Bing Yeon appeared beside Verdandi, her voice gentle and warm as if comforting her.
“You should also say sorry. There’s no guarantee that a broken relationship can be restored, but you must resolve the pent-up emotions, wouldn’t you?”
“……”
Seeing Bing Yeon, Verdandi closed her eyes, summoning courage. If she didn’t do it now, she might never gather the strength to say it.
“I’m sorry, Mom… I did wrong…”
It was a cry that emerged like a child, not her usual respectful tone.
“Yeah, my daughter. It must have been so painful.”
Through tears, Eila and Verdandi embraced each other, finally releasing the burdens of the walls they had built up.
“Mom… I’m sorry… It must have hurt a lot…”
“No, it’s okay. That can happen. Because I made the first mistake…”
Repeated apologies and reassurances flowed between them as they shared the past they could never speak of.
*
As I watched the two reconcile with contentment, a cold voice interrupted from the side.
“Teacher.”
“Biwul, where have you been? It looks like you helped out this time. Good job…”
The owner of that voice was Biwul, and as I tried to pat her head just like always…
“Teacher, does that mean you prefer my senior over me?”
My disciple’s expression was strange. It felt as though I was looking at someone who wasn’t the Biwul I knew.
“…Who are you?”
I couldn’t help but ask.
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