Even after a year, my spirit did not dissipate like the contents of the dream. It seemed that I was going to live like that.
I’m still thinking about how I’m forced to play a new game even though I’m obviously tired of life, which is a godsend, but there’s no such thing. A life spent in a new environment and with new people is different from a life of boredom and is full of new discoveries.
My parents in Japan were not criminals, but they were immoderate people, even if I put it nicely. By contrast, my parents here are full of love.
In Japan, they were people who had a completely different outlook on life than I did, and here I was relieved of my feelings of alienation towards them and thought, “Oh, so that’s what happened.” Because I grew up in a loving family.
At that time I was practising standing up.
I thought I could do it easily, but my feet were so unreliable and my weight was so heavily weighted on my head that it was very difficult to balance even when I tried to stand up. In any case, crawling on the floor was easier to do.
The family seems to have a habit of celebrating birthdays, and I don’t know because I haven’t counted the days to hundreds, but it seems that they celebrated my birthday when the season passed exactly one round.
The family celebrated with a lavish and sumptuous meal, but as usual I ate a side dish with a bit of meat, similar to porridge. Even so, it seemed that I was the one they were congratulating, so it was really my birthday.
After that, my mother, who was always in the family, put something on for me and spoke incomprehensible words to me, making some progress in my language learning. I barely noticed when they kept saying words like puta and mama to me and remembered them immediately. It seems to scare them if they use it as soon as they learn it, but that kind of thing doesn’t matter. It would make them feel a bit strange, but I wanted to get out of nappies as soon as possible as a priority.
Three years passed while living such a warm and ordinary daily life.