Chapter: 989
I was destined to be a disaster.
After hearing that, I had to sit quietly for a while.
That little tree had been a sacred tree.
It was also true that the soul had been twisted before consuming the fruit of the gods.
And that the twisted and lost soul had found its way back after eating the fruit of the gods.
The whole process was shocking, but in the end, the most shocking thing was that I was destined to become a disaster.
‘…In the end.’
Was that really it?
What Yeon Il-cheon had said and what I had experienced in the Central Plains—even the fact that I had gone through regression. Was it all the will of the world?
‘…Was there something about my mother there too?’
In the first place, my mother hadn’t come to the Central Plains as a disaster.
‘She had come to leave a disaster behind.’
The thought that she had really come to leave a true calamity behind…
I couldn’t shake off the white-haired feeling that swept over me.
Why on earth would the master of all worlds destroy the Central Plains just to become its master?
A disaster is when a master who has lost their world appears and acts. My mother, even with all those worlds, had appeared in the Central Plains.
I had thought this was because another master, Mujeonggang, existed.
‘…If it wasn’t about being a disaster but rather about creating one.’
That made more sense.
And that’s why it was so damn frustrating. It felt like the truth was so annoyingly on point.
“Damn it…!”
BANG-!!
As I swung my fist, the ground shattered. The chaos of rough emotions combined with the state of enlightenment caused the earth to crack like tofu.
“Shit.”
I wanted to say, “No.” It shouldn’t have been that way, and I hoped it wasn’t.
‘…Damn it!’
I couldn’t spit out any negative thoughts.
The situation itself made it difficult to refute.
Also, my life up until now had made it impossible to deny everything.
Regression by someone else’s doing?
Unknown things hidden in my body?
Things happening against my will all the time?
None of it mattered.
The important thing was…
‘Denying it won’t help at all.’
I knew that there was nothing to gain from just saying “no” and digging into the ground.
So, the priority was to quickly admit what needed to be admitted and find a way to overcome the situation.
I had lived like that until now, trying to find solutions in my head, but…
‘…Just stay still, you punk.’
It was utterly pitiful that I had to think rationally in such a situation.
Should I really be like this right now?
‘…Even though I was destined to become a disaster?’
Without a moment to mourn or grow angry, was I truly only meant to keep moving forward?
‘What am I supposed to do?’
What the hell should I do now that I’ve come this far?
I had declared I would defeat the Heavenly Horse and capture the Blood Demon.
‘…If that’s the case, then I’m saying I’m more dangerous than them.’
If I were to become the calamity of the Central Plains, wouldn’t that imply I was more dangerous than both the Heavenly Horse and Blood Demon?
“Ha ha ha…”
It escaped me. I couldn’t help but laugh. It was outright absurd.
“Seriously… This is really unbelievable.”
Anger built up, and I was about to hit the ground again.
“What is this right now…”
It all felt so empty and futile, despite having run nonstop until now.
With a stubborn spirit, I tried to make something happen. Even when I wanted to give up, I held on tenaciously.
“What am I even doing?”
What the hell have I been doing with my life up until now?
Crack.
I clenched my fist with enough strength.
My dazed mind still wasn’t functioning well, and emotions were just swirling around, engulfing my being.
A calamity? I was the calamity. The very notion kept echoing in my head.
‘Why me?’
Why was I the calamity?
What kind of life had I lived, and what had I gone through since my regression to land me here?
‘…Could I be the cause?’
Could it be that I, and not someone else, was the one who needed to stop it?
Then what should I do?
If I was truly destined to be a disaster…
‘Should I just die?’
Would things end if I died? If it were that simple, could I just die right here, right now?
As those thoughts crossed my mind, I shook them off.
“…Damn.”
Swearing came out of my mouth. Dying? I wasn’t afraid.
I had come too far to fear that now.
But…
I was scared of something else.
Faces I would never see again after death.
Now, I couldn’t let go. And the driving forces that made me act so cruelly were looping in my thoughts.
Thinking of them made it seem like ending my life would be harder than expected.
“…This is so insane, seriously.”
It felt ridiculous. So much so that I started to doubt.
“Could it be that this is all part of your plans?”
What if this was all part of the world’s intention?
Everything seemed suspicious. What if even this current state was all someone’s design?
“Ah…”
I was exhausted in an instant. I really had no clue what was going on.
“…Mother.”
A question lay hidden behind my softly whispered words.
What exactly were you trying to do?
Is this really all because you left me behind as a calamity?
‘Then why did you twist my soul?’
Noya said that my soul had been twisted, which had allowed me to escape from my fate.
So after twisting my soul to liberate me from this disastrous fate…
‘Why now?’
Why feed me the god fruit at this point?
Though it was said that Yarang had fed me, both Noya and I believed that the intention behind Yarang was directed by my mother.
Noya mentioned that if it had come to the moment my soul was restored, it meant there was a method, so it was tried.
So, a method must exist.
After hearing that, I barely managed to breathe again, but I couldn’t stay there any longer. I needed to escape, and so I did, sitting alone further away from the sacred tree.
Being here was pointless; Noya and the turtle would know but wouldn’t come. They probably knew I needed time.
Crisp!
Unable to keep still, I started pulling out the weeds growing from the ground.
Thoughts flooded my mind all at once, preventing me from being able to settle down.
‘It’s my fate to become a calamity.’
In other words, did that mean I would become the master of the Central Plains?
If so, did that mean I would erase every living thing and take the place of the previous master, Mu-a?
‘…How?’
If I erased them, how would I do it? Through brute force like the Blood Demon? Or was there something else entirely?
At least at this moment, my mind was blank.
It meant I had no intention or thought of becoming a calamity.
If that was hope, was it really hope?
‘Noya might be wrong.’
Even Noya, who seemed infallible, could be wrong this time.
Holding onto that hope, I questioned it all.
“…”
Rather than thinking, I repeatedly rubbed my face with my hands.
I dried my face and did it over again.
“…Ah.”
What was I supposed to do?
What was I supposed to do moving forward? What could I really be hoping for?
Everything became even more complicated since I didn’t know anything.
My hands trembled.
I bit my trembling fingertips.
Squelch. Blood trickled down my fingers.
Even though I knew it was hurting, I gnawed harder.
‘Get your act together.’
This wasn’t the time for that.
Please, get it together. Find a way out.
I shouldn’t dawdle like this. I needed to find a way.
Even if nothing came to mind, I had to bring something to the surface.
I had to do that.
It had worked up until now, and it had to continue working now.
‘What do I do? What if Noya is right? Should I plan my actions based on what’s right? If I plan, then what? How do I get out of this…? How do I escape?’
Questions spun in circles, one after another.
The unanswered questions slowly gnawed at me.
Gulp, gulp.
With each bite of my finger, blood continued to pool in my mouth.
I must have felt some pain, but I ignored it and kept chewing.
‘What if I become a calamity? What if I turn into a calamity and end up killing everyone? Isn’t it better if I don’t go back? Shouldn’t I just stay here—’
As I became trapped in that spiral, I began to crumble.
Rustle.
Someone grabbed the hand that had been chewing on my finger. The sudden sensation startled me, causing me to jerk my hand back.
Swipe!
I pulled away from the hand that grasped mine and looked sideways, surprised.
“Ah.”
“…You.”
It was Cheonma who had held my hand. When did they even arrive? I had been so focused that I hadn’t sensed them.
While I was still in shock, Cheonma came closer and once more gripped my hand.
It was a hand with blood flowing from it.
“…Are you alright?”
They asked with what seemed to be genuine concern, but I frowned.
“Mind your own business.”
Given the emotions at play, my words came out less than nicely, and I growled them out.
“…This isn’t a state where I can chat with you. Just go away.”
“…”
I spoke harshly, but, as always, Cheonma didn’t budge.
If there was anything different, it was that they seemed somewhat less expressionless than usual.
‘Something’s different today…’
The gaze wasn’t its usual dullness; it had a slight warmth to it that made me feel oddly noticed.
‘What’s going on?’
Am I just imagining it because I’m not feeling so great?
That fleeting thought was quickly brushed aside.
“Are you struggling a lot?”
At Cheonma’s words, any doubts I held vanished.
“…What?”
“You seem to be having a hard time.”
I pouted at those words.
“Why? Are you going to comfort me if I’m struggling?”
Those stupid remarks slipped out. I couldn’t help but sound foolish.
“Worry about your own problems. Don’t get confused just because we’ve been hanging out for a bit.”
It felt pathetic to vent my frustration like this, but I couldn’t help it.
“I keep saying this, but I find you really disgusting—”
Just as I was about to spit out more barbed words, suddenly, my face was buried somewhere.
Cheonma’s hand grabbed my head and pulled me into their arms.
“What the hell…!”
Are you kidding me? I could feel my voice rising, screaming in anger.
“Everything’s alright.”
“…”
“Everything’s alright.”
My body froze as the hand stroked my back.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.”
It wasn’t some extravagant consolation; just simple words of reassurance.
Even more, the words came from Cheonma, the person I detested the most.
Maybe deep down, I really needed something to lean on.
I just stood there quietly for a bit, not saying anything.
“…It’s alright. You.”
That was the truth.
“You’ve always done well.”
The way Cheonma said it was quite different.
Whoosh—!
While Cheonma stroked my back, a completely alien energy seeped in.
I hadn’t noticed until now.
“So, it’s alright.”
“…”
I neither hugged Cheonma nor wept in their arms.
I didn’t engage in such foolishness.
I merely remained there, silently.
For me, at that moment,
It was the best thing I could do.
As time passed as I rested there, I eventually felt something odd and slowly pulled away from Cheonma’s embrace.
“…Goodbye.”
Cheonma’s expression had returned to its usual state.
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