Chapter: 810
I wasn’t a good father. I was a pitiful dad who couldn’t provide proper love during the crucial growing years of my children.
I wasn’t a good husband either. I was a terrible husband who ignored my wife’s request to show affection to our kids and stubbornly adhered to Krasius’s policies, even though I suffered from them myself.
Just as I wasn’t a good son, I also wasn’t a good brother or older brother. I don’t know how Count Tailglehen Wilhelm was, but Wilhelm of the Krasius family cannot be considered a good person.
‘If only I had been more competent.’
If I had been capable enough to meet my father’s expectations, everyone would have been happy.
If I had been a capable guy, my father would have joyfully declared that he had raised an excellent heir. My father, who looked down on me and least trusted me until the very end.
If I had felt the weight of my father’s expectations on my shoulders, maybe he wouldn’t have turned his gaze towards my younger siblings. After all, the firstborn me being such a disaster led him to consider my siblings as successors.
But alas, or maybe fortunately, among our seven siblings, I was the one who ultimately gained my father’s selection. He tried various tests on my siblings before finally focusing his attention on me.
‘It should’ve been my burden from the beginning, anyway.’
My younger siblings endured pains they didn’t need to because of my shortcomings. It was a situation where I could hardly lift my head as the eldest.
So when I took over the name of Krasius, I couldn’t prevent my siblings from leaving Krasius. I couldn’t shout that the family would change and that they would be able to reside comfortably as members of the Imperial Duke’s family.
My siblings, despite knowing that, chose a different path rather than remaining with Krasius. The terrible pains they endured throughout their lives outweighed the delightful memories they could have made in Krasius.
That’s why I hadn’t been able to meet my siblings since I became the head of Krasius. I was only content to hear good news now and then about them doing well in their spouses’ families and having children.
“About the Narzen family. It seems there was a little disturbance over there, and we might have to conduct an inspection.”
Then there was Karl, who succeeded me as the head of the Krasius family. At the same time, he was the Minister of Inspection.
Hearing from Karl that my youngest sister’s family was going to be embroiled in the inspection left a complicated feeling in my heart. If Karl was saying it while on leave, it surely wouldn’t be a small matter.
I had mixed emotions. I wanted to ask Karl if he could just let it slide this one time. Perhaps he would have pretended to resist and agreed to my request.
But that was impossible. I tried to repay the debt I owed to my siblings in my own way. However, the debt I owed to Karl was something I could never repay in my lifetime.
‘So I couldn’t stop it.’
To ease a father’s heart at the cost of putting my son in a difficult situation was unacceptable. I couldn’t tarnish my son’s high honor with derogatory remarks like “The soft Inspection just lets blood relatives slide.”
So, I left everything in Karl’s hands. I told him not to worry about me and to follow the path he believed was right.
“I will handle it fairly so that no innocent person suffers.”
I hoped deeply that Elin would be found innocent amidst this fair judgment, and I entrusted everything to Karl’s judgment.
– We have released my youngest aunt and my cousins. Despite being scrutinized multiple times by the Information Department, there were no minor suspicions at all. It seems only those who held public positions within Narzen were involved in this matter.
Fortunately, that faith and hope bore fruit.
I was embarrassed to admit it, but my hands shook when I received Karl’s message. I was fearful that something might go wrong for Elin, or that we would cross an irretrievable river between father and son.
Soon that worry vanished in an instant, how could I not feel joyful? My sister and nephew were declared innocent; how could I not be proud?
– So, how about a little visit to the Narzen mansion?
“Me?”
– All the retainers and servants in the mansion have been taken, so there’s no one left. It’s just my youngest aunt and my cousins, so if you want to meet secretly, this is the chance.
But my joy was short-lived. A wave of anxiety washed over me with Karl’s suggestion.
Could I go find Elin? Could I really visit a child I hadn’t seen for nearly 20 years? Now, at a time when the family was in turmoil?
I hesitated; a part of me felt the urge to provide comfort during the family crisis, while another questioned what face I had to approach Elin.
– According to the Information Department, my aunt greatly worried that I might tarnish the honor of both Krasius and myself. This could be seen as her wanting to distance herself from us, but on the flip side, it shows she cares about our honor.
“……”
– Please go with this opportunity. You won’t get a second chance.
Slowly, I began to warm to Karl’s persuasion. The feelings that had been held back for 20 years stirred within me.
If I let this moment slip away, I wouldn’t meet her again until someone passed away.
So I went. I set aside my pride and embarrassment, and headed for the Narzen family mansion.
“Big Brother…?”
“It’s been a while since I’ve heard that.”
And I finally got to meet Elin after such a long time.
I got to talk with my family. With my siblings and my nephews and nieces in tow.
“I came carefully to avoid being caught. The thought of going back feels distant already, so could you let me have a conversation without sending me away?”
Elin looked at me silently before responding to my cautious request.
“…Since there are no servants, I’ll have to brew the tea myself.”
“Even better. It’s been ages since we’ve had your tea.”
Upon hearing this, the nieces and nephews behind Elin flinched, quietly bowing their heads.
They seemed younger than my kids. In fact, I remembered them being younger than my children. The thought that these kids had experienced being dragged into the Information Department was somewhat regrettable.
“It’s my first time seeing you all. I’m Wilhelm. I’m your big uncle.”
“Y-Yes, I’ve heard the name. You’re the famous general who did great in the last two wars…”
The eldest of the kids stuttered, trying to greet me.
How commendable. Seeing them make an effort to greet despite the situation showed their resolve.
“I’ll send the kids up to their rooms now.”
“Alright. They must have been quite shocked, so let them rest.”
I nodded at Elin’s words. Honestly, I wanted to talk with my nieces and nephews too, but I decided it was best not to be too greedy all at once. Just being able to face Elin was satisfying enough for now.
*
In the still reception room, my big brother and I sat and stared at each other.
“Is the tea to your liking?”
“It’s good. Just like the taste I had when I was young.”
At those words, I quietly fiddled with my teacup. Gathering tea leaves and brewing tea was one of the few pastimes I enjoyed in the Krasius family. It had always been my thing to brew tea for my family and have them evaluate its flavor.
“You’ve had a hard time.”
Caught between what to say after meeting family after so long, my older brother spoke up first.
“It was just the price that had to be paid. How can I call this hardship over something that was necessary?”
“I’ve heard you are innocent. You were not favored because you are Krasius, but rather suffered because of being Krasius. If you weren’t connected to Karl, you would not have been detained for appearances.”
The words sounded similar to what I had heard from the Deputy Director, so I didn’t respond.
In fact, I felt a little, just a little, pleased. It meant I had done something for the current head of the Krasius family. No longer being seen as the useless person my father described, I had become a scapegoat for Krasius.
“My nephew is sorry. At the same time, he thanked you for preserving the honor of Krasius and the integrity of the Inspection Department.”
“I am Narzen, not Krasius. I have no connection with him, so I cannot expect different treatment from others. I merely complied with the flow of events.”
“You’re still as stubborn as ever.”
I was astonished to see my eldest brother smile.
I had never seen him show a smile before. He had always suppressed his emotions to adhere to my father’s demands. Instead of enjoying the occasional smiles, he’d best be wielding a sword or reading another book.
“Surprised, are you?”
“Not just me; the other brothers and sisters would have been equally astonished.”
“That’s a sad statement. That family laughter is surprising.”
After saying this, my eldest brother sipped his tea again.
Still wearing a smile. His gaze warmer than I had ever seen.
“I used to be just as stubborn as you. The blood of Krasius ran deep indeed.”
His tone softened like he was comforting a little brother.
It felt strange. I knew my big brother had tried to protect us from my father. I recognized he’d made efforts to secure our positions even after we left Krasius.
Yet that nurturing side of him felt distant. Despite not resembling my father in spirit, he was outwardly more akin to our father than anyone else.
“That stubbornness only broke just before I lost something precious. It took the near-death of my child to let go.”
I could guess whom he was referring to. It was probably the Minister of Inspection, who had also served in the army twice.
“Yet the stubbornness I thought I relinquished still held firm. I might have shed my strange stubbornness towards my children, but my stubbornness against my siblings remains.”
My elder brother had unconsciously wrapped his hand around mine.
Even that was surprising. The big brother who never smiled was now holding my hand. If the other brothers and sisters saw this sight, they would probably have a heart attack.
“I have remained silent for your sake all this time. Since you all disliked Krasius, I hoped you’d find happiness in a new place.”
“I’m well aware of your consideration.”
“Thank you for that. However, it shouldn’t have been that way. I should have embraced you as your brother and husband, not left you to your own devices.”
“There was no need—”
“Karl, my son, mentioned the inspection of Narzen. I worried that I might lose you too, or that you’d meet with misfortune, that I would perhaps never hear from you again.”
I couldn’t exactly dismiss that with a curt rebuttal.
Though I stood upright, believing I had done nothing wrong, inspections are never straightforward. For reasons unknown, I could have ended up in a bad light.
“Elin, I felt as though I was about to lose a child. I regret not meeting you for 20 years.”
My big brother tightened his grip around my hand.
“I never want to feel that regret again. I no longer want to watch from afar like in the last 20 years.”
“Big brother.”
“Yes. I am your brother. We are family that can never be divided.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them to find him smiling even more brightly.
“Of course, that doesn’t mean we’ll live like an ordinary family right away. I only wish to exchange letters, send messages through the communication devices, meet face-to-face when possible, and eventually share meals together. I want to grow closer to you bit by bit.”
Just like the other five of us.
My big brother added this with a lightly cleared throat and took his hands off mine.
“I failed to fulfill my duties as the eldest for 20 years. So I will wait for you, not for just 20, but perhaps for another 40. I will wait for the day you can meet me with a smile.”
“40 years? But what if you aren’t around anymore?”
“Then you should open your heart a bit sooner. When that day comes, I’ll come bearing plenty of cheese cake.”
That made me smile without thinking.
“Brother.”
“Speak your mind.”
“Actually, it was my second sister who loved cheese cake.”
“What?”
“I liked cheese cookies.”
Watching my big brother’s eyes dart back and forth made me chuckle uncontrollably.
Should I be upset that he got it wrong? Or should I praise him for at least getting the cheese part right?
“…Do you still enjoy cognac?”
“That’s secondary. I often had whiskey.”
“Oh.”
Looks like I’m not all that different either.
*
Despite conducting an inspection of 14 families at once, thanks to the Emperor’s approval and the active support of the Minister of Justice, the investigations swiftly approached their conclusion.
“The unjust wealth amassed by the 14 families has been seized by the national treasury, and they’ve all been dismissed from their public positions.”
“That was faster than I expected. Good work.”
“I am truly honored.”
I bowed my head calmly under the Emperor’s gaze. After all, it was thanks to his consideration that this inspection had gone so smoothly.
“Those who’ve been dismissed will be barred from holding office for five years. However, I’ll ensure that relatives of those dismissed are not affected, so don’t intentionally block them.”
“That’s a wise decision.”
“Then you are dismissed. We’ll meet again at the New Year’s Ball.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
I quickly exited after the Emperor’s decree. I felt like lingering might lead to receiving another quest from the Emperor.
“Father! It’s me!”
I was curious about the news of my father, who might have already headed off to the Narzen mansion.
– Karl? I’m sorry, but I’m a bit busy right now; I’ll contact you later.
“Excuse me?”
– I’m currently out for a while with your youngest aunt. I need to hurry as we stopped by a café and plan to go to a bar afterward.
“Excuse me?”
Before I could say anything more, my father abruptly hung up.
‘What’s this about?’
What on earth happened while I was making the report to the Emperor?
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