Chapter: 726
Thanks to Armein’s little stunt, I’ve ended up with a ridiculous nickname.
“Welcome, Matchmaker Minister.”
I closed my eyes in despair at the Emperor’s words as he sipped his vodka.
A miracle has occurred over just one sword—now there’s a wedding planned for a prince?! And here I am, the protagonist and starting point of this madness, stuck with the bizarre title of Matchmaker Minister. Is there anyone else in the history of the Empire who has held two ministerial titles?
“Damn it.”
How frustrating! Being called a minister shouldn’t sound this pathetic.
“How could I, a mere servant, possibly be the matchmaker for royal weddings? It’s merely a coincidence that the Robens royal family has a joyous occasion coming up.”
“If that’s what you want to believe, then go ahead.”
I retorted with a heart that felt like it was bleeding, but the Emperor just chuckled, like the truth wouldn’t change no matter how much I denied it.
Damn that guy. Is there no name like ‘Betrayal Minister’ or something? I just want to punch him once in the gut.
“Come to think of it, you were the one who connected Ainter and the Marquess daughter too, weren’t you? I bet even the goddess of love from ages past couldn’t match your presence, Minister.”
“Too much flattery, Your Majesty.”
As I sat down, dazed by the provocation, I found myself without a comeback. I was indeed the one who initially connected Ainter and Shati. Suddenly, I became this crazy talent involved in the weddings of both the local royal family and foreign royalty.
“Here you go. It’s nice and chilled, so it should be good to drink.”
“Thank you for the drink.”
As I accepted the bottle of vodka handed to me by the Emperor, I began to gather my thoughts.
Rutis’s wedding is set for next summer. Erich and Ainter tied the knot this year, and Lather is also planning to get married in due time, and Tannian… Well, let’s skip over him for now. That guy has just returned from his pilgrimage, so who knows what he’s been up to.
Anyway, as a founding member of the pastry club, the Brothers Overboard started to find their matches one by one. I wonder how I’d react if the me from 77 years ago learned about this glorious fact.
“I’d probably get cursed out for being delusional.”
Those past club members were surprisingly infuriatingly foolish. The thought of them maturing into heads of households makes me oddly overjoyed…
I only wish I had felt this joy earlier, but then I guess that’s too much to ask. Let’s just be thankful for the fact that these former connections have grown into actual people.
“However, Your Majesty.”
“What is it, Minister?”
“I heard from the Empress that you’ve promised to only drink one bottle of vodka every five days, but didn’t you have some yesterday as well?”
At my words, the Emperor’s hand halted abruptly.
“…How did you know?”
“One of my wives is a close friend of the Empress.”
The Emperor sighed at my reliable source of information. It seems Erich was not joking after all.
“You should probably cut back.”
I clicked my tongue internally as I popped the cap off the vodka bottle.
A few days ago, while visiting the Empress with Ferentz, Erich caught wind of various royal tales, including the Empress’s alcohol restriction scandal. How much had the Emperor drank for the Empress to enact such a measure?
Of course, among my family, there are plenty of alcoholics who could down bottles without batting an eye. So, while I didn’t care about whether the Emperor drank vodka or not, seeing him down it suddenly reminded me of that restriction.
“Your Majesty, although you have a robust physique, continuously consuming strong liquor might wear you down. I suppose the Empress is concerned about that.”
It was a bit of a backhanded compliment, sounding more like a threat: “If you ignore the Empress and keep drinking, are you ready for the consequences?”
In truth, no matter how much the Emperor drinks, the odds of him collapsing are extremely low. Just like Wise Duke can instantly flush out alcohol from his system, the palace mages would manage to get rid of whatever excess alcohol the Emperor might accumulate. There’s no worry about vodka ruining the Emperor’s liver.
But between maintaining a body that requires constant magical intervention and one that was healthy from the start, that’s a completely different level. Naturally, the Empress would worry about him.
“Also, think about the third prince who will be born next year—”
“Alright, alright! You’re saying the same things as the Empress, aren’t you?”
Only mentioning the third child in the Empress’s womb was enough to make the Emperor push the vodka aside.
For a husband, hoping for his wife and children is the surefire way to go! The fact that he could let go of his beloved vodka even speaks volumes.
“Who could have predicted that even the Minister of Judgement would keep an eye on me? I find myself terribly concerned having such an enemy.”
“Enemy? Please call it candid advice instead, Your Majesty.”
“I’d rather you give me something that could actually break my heart.”
With that, the Emperor rose with a wry smile and began rummaging through his desk drawer.
“Well, it can’t be helped. I’ll have to make do with this today.”
He pulled out a bottle of champagne.
The sight of him reaching for something other than liquor feels utterly bizarre, but the Empress only limited vodka. Champagne is clearly outside the restrictions.
It sounds forced, but contracts are usually about bending the rules, aren’t they?
After leaving the Sun Palace, instead of returning straight to my mansion, I visited the Empress’s Palace.
“I hear you’re on a diet, Your Majesty?”
“Yes, Empress. Although you saw him struggling against his desires, once we mentioned the third prince, he changed his mind promptly.”
Then I relayed today’s events to the Empress.
While the Emperor did sneak a sip or two of vodka, he gave it up the moment the baby was mentioned—a heartwarming moment.
“The only drink His Majesty enjoys is vodka. If he’s willing to give that up, he must be firm in his resolve.”
After my report, the Empress looked pleased.
There’s no denying that the Emperor disregarding the restriction is a negative aspect. It’s not like he was told not to drink at all; he had simply been asked to limit himself to one bottle every five days. Ignoring even that would rightfully upset the Empress.
But a man who couldn’t even last five days without drinking promptly gives up the moment a child is mentioned? That’s a clear plus. It’s more than enough to flip a negative event into a positive one— “That alcoholic is making a big decision for the sake of his child!”
“I believe His Majesty is now a wonderful father who thinks of his children before his own desires.”
At this moment, I controlled my mind to feel like a court attendant. I showered the Empress with all sorts of sweet words about refinement and decorum.
I initially thought about busting the Emperor for sneaking vodka, but causing discord between the Emperor and the Empress isn’t the job of a loyal servant. As a subject of the Empire and protector of the Livnoman royal family, it’s my duty to support the love between the Emperor and Empress.
“In my humble opinion, the prosperity of Livnoman seems directly linked to the health of Your Majesty.”
“Oh my.”
The Empress covered her mouth, astonished at my statement.
But her eyes were soft with understanding, as if she’d comprehended my words instantly.
“Just wait until I get started on the relay!”
Since the Emperor is keeping away from vodka for the sake of their third child, the same will likely apply for any future children.
“The goddess of love from ages past wouldn’t have had a stronger presence than the Minister!”
The Emperor’s words flashed back in my mind, and I couldn’t help but smile.
This is the chaos presented by the god of love… No, it’s a disruption more potent than any goddess of love who dared initiate this. The one who threw the first punch is you, so I won’t hold any grudges.
Who told you to run your mouth carelessly? Just wait and see.
*
As arrogant as I know it sounds, I actually felt like the whole of Armein revolves around me.
Not just a feeling— it was true. For the past few weeks, the center of attention in my country has not been the Father King but me: the mere third prince, Rutis Robens.
“What a strange world.”
Given the normal circumstances, this couldn’t possibly happen, resulting in a laugh escaping my lips.
A mere prince stands at the center of the kingdom! The wedding of a third prince draws the attention of all the royals, nobles, and knights.
“This must be a real hassle for Lady Perosa, all thanks to me. Sorry about that, my lady.”
I offered an awkward apology to Lady Perosa, smiling sheepishly.
If it were just me standing in the spotlight, it would be manageable. But even Lady Perosa, a mere lady and a knight, was receiving excessive attention. This is hardly the kind of situation anyone would want.
“It’s, um, fine, Your Highness. As a knight, it’s only natural to be subject to everyone’s expectations.”
Nevertheless, Lady Perosa maintained her dignity amid adversity. Although to be fair, it felt more accurate to say she was putting in a lot of effort to look dignified.
“My lady.”
“Yes, Your Highness. What is it?”
With her composed demeanor, I decided to speak up.
“Perosa.”
“Y-yes?”
I tossed aside the stiff honorifics.
I’ve only built close bonds with two women throughout my life. One is Louise, a friend who transcends borders and status; I wouldn’t mind establishing a similar relationship with Perosa.
However, my bond with Perosa has grown deeper and thicker than mere friendship. It feels closer, more intimate, and much more familiar.
As thoughts of marriage crept closer, she solidified in my mind.
“It was a sudden decision, but I promise I won’t regret it.”
So, I made a somewhat belated commitment to Perosa.
Our journey started under pressure and prying eyes. I won’t deny that.
But just because the beginning is strange doesn’t mean the process and end should be too. That’s the least I can do as a minimum courtesy towards Perosa, who’s destined to be my partner.
“I-I too!”
Perosa stammered in reply to my vow.
“I will work hard to become someone worthy of you, Your Highness!”
“That’s a strange thing to say. You’re already someone I’m proud of; how much more do you plan to work?”
Perosa’s mouth promptly shut.
I guess it’s going to take a bit of time for her to get comfortable with exchanges like this.
*
An oversized sword arrived, bearing the signature of the Torture Teacher.
[ Knowing the right path, I shall wield the sword; holding onto righteousness, I shall draw it forth; swinging it for the sake of loyalty, I shall cut through. Karl Krasius of Tailglehen. ]
Not just some ordinary sentiment—these were serious words inscribed on the great sword.
“Good gracious.”
The Torture Teacher exceeded my expectations with this incredible gift.
Three years of camaraderie can be quite impressive indeed.
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