EP.68
In mythology, there often appears a creature called “Ouroboros,” a serpent that consumes its own tail.
Since it is inevitably in a circular form by biting its own tail, it symbolizes eternal recurrence, indicating that there is no true beginning or end.
The reason I am mentioning Ouroboros now is that my current situation feels as though the beginning and end are intertwined, much like the creature itself.
Firstly, the reason I joined the Student Council and sought clues about the End from the other executives, excluding Erekaya, is that the Status Window had informed me about it.
[■The preparedness of the ■■ and the ■■ is necessary.]
[Please ■■■. The End exists within ■■■■■.]
The moment I entered the Student Council and faced Serika von Valentine, the Status Window appeared before my eyes.
Like a beggar thrown a coin, I had no other information about the End apart from this one clue presented by the Status Window, so I had no choice but to dig into the Student Council, holding onto that single message.
Despite my attempts to be as discreet as possible, it seemed that I couldn’t help but make it obvious that I was secretly watching others, as I was neither a spy nor an agent.
Once I joined the Student Council, even Serika von Valentine, who had treated me with disdain, realized that I was observing others and gave me hints regarding the future she had seen and the End.
Of course, the reason Serika provided me with such hints was that she intended to warn me: “There are elements in Nineveh that can awaken the End, so don’t act recklessly, be cautious.”
However, to put it conversely, if I had not been so conscious of the Status Window’s message that my observations of the Student Council executives became apparent, Serika would have never offered me such advice.
In other words, the cause and effect are completely inverted.
Typically, people take unspecified actions as a result of a certain “cause,” and they pay the price based on the “result” of those actions.
But for me, it was not as a result of my actions that I received clues about the End from Serika; rather, the actions I took became the “cause,” ultimately leading me to obtain those clues.
To simplify, it means that the very moment I joined the Student Council, I was destined to receive “Serika’s advice” as a reward, regardless of my intentions.
…Yes, just like in a game, when a player completes a quest, a suitable “reward” is given in some form.
It’s confusing. Everything around me feels incredibly artificial.
I can only think that I am walking a path predetermined by some transcendent being—be it a god, the world itself, or fate.
What if this world is actually a game world? What if the current situation is completely guided by the Status Window? Or what if all of this is meant to unfold according to a specific “scenario”?
I thought I was the only one with free will in this repetitive, glass-like world, yet could it mean that I, too, was just a puppet in this world?
It felt strange. From a macro perspective, I had obtained a hint that the End lies dormant within Nineveh, and this certainly shortened the journey I need to undertake, but why did I feel so discontented and troubled?
So how should I act? Is it alright to blindly trust this Status Window that looms before me?
But if I reject the Status Window and act arbitrarily, could I face yet another death? Can I truly endure the tenth death and the eleventh restart with my sanity intact?
After enduring nine deaths over the past century, rising again and again, a multitude of emotions have already worn down and shattered within me.
“…Damn it.”
Ultimately, as Jin groaned through gritted teeth without arriving at a clear answer, Altina, standing opposite him, looked at him with a mix of concern.
“…Are you okay? Is your condition not good today? Or did you get injured during our earlier spar?”
“…No, I’m fine. Thanks for your concern. It’s just… I’ve been thinking about a lot of things lately, so you don’t have to worry about it.”
Come to think of it, I was in the Training Ground, sparring with Altina right now.
Damn, this was a behavior that was nothing short of disqualification as a Master.
Even if I was just a makeshift teacher, I should have been doing my utmost while sharing swords with her. Instead, I was lost in some pointless philosophy, causing Altina to worry about me.
As I sighed deeply, momentarily lost in self-loathing, Altina suddenly questioned me, curious about the nature of my sigh.
“Are you, by any chance, feeling this way because of something related to the Student Council?”
“…Huh?”
Was I feeling this way because of the Student Council? Well… I suppose, in a broad sense, that could be true, couldn’t it? Maybe?
I felt uncertain, but since Altina’s statement wasn’t entirely incorrect in that broad context, I slightly nodded. In response, she puffed her cheeks and made a sulky expression.
If a dark-haired guy made that face, I’d probably have punched him. But seeing a girl like Altina make that face somehow struck me as cute.
“Honestly, I’m not too fond of you being a member of the Student Council.”
“…You too?”
“You too? What do you mean by that? Has someone else said something like this to you before?”
Altina spoke in an unusually sharp tone. Jin, feeling intimidated by her demeanor, instinctively shrank back.
“Oh, no. It’s nothing at all.”
In truth, when I mentioned joining the Student Council, I had unconsciously recalled Claire’s reaction at that moment.
By the way, I couldn’t help but wonder if it had become a trend for the girls these days to disapprove of the Student Council. Claire thought so, and now Altina as well—what was with all this distaste for it?
Anyway, as Jin stammered through his words, Altina seemed to decide to let that matter go for now, still wearing a perplexed expression.
With a more relaxed look than before, Altina continued speaking.
“Of course, it’s not that I dislike the fact that you’ve joined the Student Council itself. After all, it’s not easy for anyone to get into that place, and just being a part of it grants a lot of power and benefits.”
“…But do you know this? During the past two weeks that you’ve been in the Student Council, you’ve constantly had an anxious and worried look on your face?”
“I have no idea what’s causing you to feel that way. And I have no right to interfere with whatever you do. But as your friend and your only disciple, all I can do is worry. It really bothers me that you’re struggling and seem perpetually anxious just because you joined the Student Council.”
“…..”
As Altina’s words rendered me momentarily speechless, Erekaya chimed in, clicking his tongue in my mind.
– It’s absurd. Watching you be chastised feels akin to a husband blowing all the money his wife earned on the side, and I can’t help but wonder if this sentiment is simply my own illusion.
‘…She’s just a girl who hasn’t even gotten married yet, and here she is being so blunt.’
In any case, I had a tendency to get emotional when it came to Altina.
Regardless, one thing was clear: over these past two weeks, I had been so engulfed in my own thoughts that I hadn’t just worried others, but I had even made Altina, standing right in front of me, feel this way.
“Anyway, thanks. I appreciate you worrying about me so much.”
As Jin spoke, he raised his hand slightly to ruffle Altina’s hair, like in the days when they were in love, but then abruptly paused as her old words echoed in his mind.
– …Don’t ruffle my hair. Even my father didn’t treat me like that.
When was that, anyway? It must have been on the day of their duel practice.
Back then, he had instinctively ruffled Altina’s hair only to receive that admonition from her.
This time, if he carelessly ruffled her hair again, Altina would most likely scold him for it.
Isn’t it said that people are creatures that learn and grow from their past failures?
There was no way he could repeat the mistakes he had made before, so Jin stealthily placed his hand back down to its original position.
“…Huh?”
Unfortunately, it seemed that Altina had not missed the slight movement of his right hand as it lifted and returned.
“…Why did your hand go up just now?”
“Uh, I don’t know… I think I just unconsciously fell back into an old habit.”
“…A habit? You mean that vulgar habit of ruffling another girl’s hair?”
How could she phrase it that way? I had always done that vulgar action to her in the past.
“Do you… perhaps enjoy having your hair ruffled?”
“…I wouldn’t go so far as to say I enjoy it, but I don’t think I dislike it either.”
In truth, I had no experience ruffling anyone else’s hair besides Altina’s, so debating my preferences felt rather humorous.
“Then… did that girl ask you to ruffle her hair, and that became a habit?”
“Perhaps, that seems like it could be the case.”
Altina was the type who enjoyed sitting me on her lap and ruffling my hair or lying on my lap and having her hair ruffled in return.
“…That girl really is a strange one. To boldly ask another man to ruffle her hair without any sense of shame or embarrassment…”
Muttering something incomprehensible in a small voice, Altina eventually sighed and looked back at me.
“By the way… do you have any plans this weekend? Or something you must do?”
“Plans? No, there’s nothing on my schedule for the weekend, so I was just going to rest in my room.”
I couldn’t understand why Altina was so interested in my weekend plans, but since there was nothing to hide, I spoke freely.
“Why? Is there something going on? Or is there something you want to ask of me?”
At my words, Altina’s expression slightly shifted.
She seemed reluctant to speak yet felt some obligation to say what was on her mind.
“Umm… before you hear me out, please don’t misunderstand. And I’m not forcing you; if you don’t want to, you’re free to refuse.”
“…What are you stalling for? How grand of a statement are you trying to make?”
“Well… the thing is… it’s just that…”
After hesitating for a while, gazing down at her feet, Altina finally seemed to resolve something, sighed, and opened her mouth.
“Father… wants to see you. No, he wants to talk to you. And he wants to do it this weekend, right away.”
“…What?”
What on earth was that sudden request?
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