EP.61
She dreams.
With her eyes closed, she gazes into memories that are not her own in the depths of her unconsciousness.
These are memories she has forgotten, and at the same time, memories yet to be experienced.
They are tales of a future that has not arrived, and stories of a past that has already been buried in the sands of time.
He was, truly, the most ordinary of men.
At least, from her perspective, she could not find any peculiar traits unique to him.
It was not a matter of discussing his appearance or physique. Here, ‘ordinary’ merely referred to the aspects inherent to being human.
He was a hero. At the same time, he was a Seeker of the Way and a Guide, as well as the Savior destined to rescue this world.
Yet, the man who bore such a heavy burden was entirely unremarkable.
…No, perhaps the term ‘ordinary’ falls a little short of capturing the essence.
He was a human who rejected interaction with others. There were no reveals of his inner thoughts or heartfelt confessions.
Always alone. And always alone, wherever he went.
He was exceedingly prickly, distrustful of others, and unfathomably cold.
Yes. To put it simply, he was a machine.
Operating endlessly for humanity and the salvation of the world, he never possessed his own emotions or desires—
He had firmly locked away his heart, becoming a machine gilded in steel.
Because of this, many people regarded him with fear. They felt uneasy around him. While they praised him as a savior, they simply did not understand him and only feared him.
…However, the image of him reflected in her eyes was somewhat different.
He was just a coward.
To her, he resembled a hedgehog. It was as if he feared giving affection to others, fearing happiness from connecting with them.
He seemed utterly unable to accept the possibility that everything around him could disperse like sand slipping through his fingers.
For this reason, she felt pity for him. And every time she saw him, her heart ached.
Like a child left at the water’s edge, she couldn’t help but be concerned for him.
…I know. I cannot be your strength. I cannot lighten even a fragment of the burden on your heart.
If you care for me, if I become someone precious to you, and ultimately, if you find happiness in being with me—
I know all too well that all the time we spent together will eventually return as a curse upon you.
Yet she could not endure it. She could not bear it. She could not remain still.
With only a sword in hand, she could not simply leave him to continue walking the lonely path he had traveled thus far and would continue to walk.
Ah, yes. I know well.
Her actions are meaningless. They are nothing more than a facade filled with self-satisfaction.
He is one who transcends time. One who repeatedly experiences life and death. One for whom the distinction between past and future holds no significance.
One day, someday, he will forget her. Amidst the countless repetitions of time, she, as a woman, will lose her meaning in his memories.
But even if that were to happen, it was alright. It didn’t matter.
EP.61
Even if my life was meaningless, even if all the time you and I spent together eventually amounts to nothing,
even if you were to forget me and fall in love with another woman,
if, despite that, I could someday meet you again and hear you tell me that you like me—
that alone would be enough for me. I would—
She opens her eyes. Upon awakening, Altina realizes she had been dozing off while leaning against the wall of the Training Ground.
“…A dream.”
Perhaps she had been too engrossed in training lately, as there were many instances where drowsiness would wash over her, regardless of time or place.
Moreover, her strange dreams had noticeably increased.
Although she often forgot most of the content upon waking, they were peculiar dreams that left her heart feeling both distant and restless.
…Well, she thought it was just because she had been so tired lately.
No matter how much something lingers in her heart, in the end, they are dreams—illusions that hold no meaning in reality.
“By the way, Jin… is he not coming today?”
As always, she was waiting for him, holding two training swords in her hands, but it soon dawned on Altina.
Jin was not scheduled to come to the Training Ground today.
No, it wasn’t just today. Altina had trained with Jin every day until now, but she knew that moving forward, she wouldn’t be able to do so as she had.
Because he had officially become a Student Council Executive starting today, and he had gone to the Student Council room to handle related duties.
“…..”
For some reason, her heart felt empty. A large hole seemed to have opened in her chest, with the sensation of the wind blowing through it.
Even in the place where she always wielded her sword, at the same time as usual, and gripping her familiar training sword—
she couldn’t shake the feeling that something crucial was missing, leaving her unable to calm her heart.
No, upon reflecting, when did she become so accustomed to training with him and receiving his teachings?
It had been merely two months since he began teaching her, and she served him as a Master while honing their skills together.
On the other hand, she had been silently swinging her sword alone in this Training Ground for several years.
So why did she feel such an immense void from his absence after just two months?
That two-month span was but a tiny fragment in the entirety of Altina von Rudel Seryas’s life.
Why did the current Altina feel this Training Ground, devoid of anyone but herself, to be so desolate and lonely?
“…Ugh!”
In an attempt to shake off her weak emotions, Altina vigorously shook her head from side to side.
This isn’t good. Such thoughts were nothing but unnecessary distractions that would do nothing to aid her own growth, nor would they help his training.
After all, he is him, and she is herself. Such fragile thoughts do not align with the path she wishes to pursue with her sword.
Determined to cast away her unresolved anguish, Altina positions herself at the center of the Training Ground, holding her training sword firmly. She prepares to place the other training sword she had held for Jin on the ground.
She does not use dual swords. Thus, holding a sword in each hand is not only meaningless but also serves as a hindrance to her training.
Yes, these things are nothing. She would never be swayed by such triviality. No, she should not be swayed.
After all, she had always been alone. From a long time ago until now, she had always been by herself.
So, to become alone again and silently swing her sword is truly nothing. Because it’s as simple as returning to the self she was just two months ago.
However, but—
“…Ah.”
In the end, Altina did not place the other training sword she held on the ground. No, she could not do so.
She could abandon her own sword at any moment, yet the training sword she had prepared for him could not be released from her grasp.
Trembling.
She could not endure it. She could ascertain nothing, but one thing seemed certain.
Altina von Rudel Seryas could never return to the way she was two months ago.
Like a person who has lived their entire life in the frigid cold suddenly experiencing warmth for the first time, or someone who has dwelled in darkness all their life seeing a ray of light one day.
The place a certain man occupied in her heart had grown so immense that she could no longer imagine a scene without him by her side.
And Altina von Rudel Seryas realized she was merely a coward, so fragile and delicate that she could not even stare straight at her own heart.
“Ahhh…”
Once again. A strange sensation swept through her mind. As if something was burrowing into her head, Altina gently caressed her own temples.
Since reaching the level of a Master and learning to handle Ideas from Jin, strange memories had intermittently surfaced in her mind.
– Altina.
– Jin.
It was confusing. The memories of the past two months spent with him and peculiar recollections that weren’t her own tangled together in her mind.
In those strange memories, Jin and Altina gazed at each other with expressions filled with affection.
They held each other’s hands tightly.
They whispered “I love you” into each other’s ears.
…Has she truly lost her mind? They were never such a relationship; he was merely her Master, and she was simply his disciple.
Why, then, does she find such comfort in these nonsensical delusions, feeling warmth and joy—
And—why is she happy about this?
“…Jin.”
Eventually, as if resigning herself to something, Altina tightly shut her eyes.
Jin did not appear at the Training Ground even as the day came to an end.
Altina could not swing her sword that day.
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