“How on earth did someone so brilliant end up like this?”
Isn’t that just human nature?
You can’t expect to be wise your entire life just because you were born that way, can you?
“And why haven’t you returned or asked for help despite enduring such humiliation?”
You know the answer.
This was the path forged by my stubbornness, driven by a thirst for learning.
It was a hard-earned step; how could I turn and run?
How could I ask for help?
I arrived here, having pushed aside warnings and concerns about the dark side of noble society.
And if my father had known, I wouldn’t have become the top graduate.
He would have ordered me back immediately.
At first, I had no desire for revenge.
If any of the four showed genuine regret and repentance, I was prepared to forgive.
I may have utilized the family tradition, but I never intended to tarnish it.
In any case, if I married the winner and lived happily ever after, that would be enough.
That’s the ultimate purpose of the betrothal contest, isn’t it?
“Do you plan to choose between Lord Deron and Lord Blund for your marriage partner?”
Pfft.
You think I have to pick between Deron and Blund?
That sounds really delightful!
But what can I do?
I don’t know anymore.
I kept the possibilities open at first, but now it feels completely closed off.
Now, I really don’t know anything.
No,
I don’t want to know anything anymore.
“Please, please regain your senses! Where has the Grand Duchess I used to serve gone?”
I’m sorry, but I don’t even know that.
Will you find her for me?
Do you know where I’m headed?
“I’m afraid something terrible might happen to the Grand Duchess. Please, return to who you were. I beg you.”
Hahaha.
What could possibly go wrong now?
It seems like something terrible has already happened.
Maybe it would have been better if I had just died then, rather than suffer the excruciating pain.
Wasn’t my very existence a curse, rather than the curse of the chieftain of the monster tribe?
Everyone is suffering because of a person like me.
Zack—!!
…Wait, Gelwood?
Did you just slap my cheek…?
“Please, wake up from this misguided desire for revenge! The Grand Duchess is different from Deron and his group!!”
…Different?
…Could it be?
…Maybe she’s not different?
Look at this.
I’m a person who deserves to be hit.
Just like how Deron and his group deserve to be hit, I do too; what’s the difference?
“For this, I will accept any punishment. But please, do not turn away my feelings for the Grand Duchess. She deserves to be loved.”
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hah.
Gelwood, do you know?
Whether red or blue, all shades are black.
Seems I didn’t just learn academics at the Academy.
Perhaps I learned things that I shouldn’t have learned in that place I liked so much.
Well,
Humans are animals that learn throughout their lives, adapt quickly to changes and evolving circumstances.
After such evolution, we’ve reached the current state of humanity, becoming the rulers of all living things.
Isn’t it natural that the violence and abuse I endured for three years would leave a mark on me?
It’s only natural that it would become an indelible, unremovable imprint, right?
Perhaps I inadvertently drew them into the betrothal contest just to trample them underfoot.
The idea of approaching them with guidance and support was probably just a cowardly rationalization of the weak.
Pretending to be pure and noble, the belief that I was different from them was merely a grotesque delusion.
Rather than holding them accountable officially, maybe I wanted to privately tear into them by dragging them into this hell.
“So, you’re saying to wade into hell and invite others in?”
Yeah.
I was a hypocrite, hiding the truth and acting out.
That’s right.
I’m the fool who tried to catch two hares only to end up with none.
Now I get it.
Getting mixed up with trash turned me into trash too.
So don’t worry, Gelwood.
As everyone wishes, I’ll put a stop to this revenge saga.
I won’t dirty my hands any longer.
I’ll choose one from the remaining candidates and get engaged.
However…
Just as my father should know about the ugliness of his youngest daughter, the fathers of those candidates should know the ugliness of their own children, right?
If they still want to form an alliance with House Winterfell knowing what their child has done, then I’ll graciously grant them forgiveness.
That’s how it’ll end.
Just as everyone desires.
Let’s all wrap this up with a happy ending.
So.
“Ha…”
Lumia sighed deeply, unsure of how to follow the emotional rollercoaster that changed thousands of times within a single day.
Laughter turned into tears, which turned into rage, which turned back into another sigh.
Even when she personally delivered letters to the Caelid Duchy and Rosfell Marquisate, an inexplicable sigh escaped her lips.
Is she regretting that everything has come to an end?
Is she feeling remorse for not acting sooner?
Is she lamenting the foolishness of not realizing she was wallowing in the muck she was stepping in?
It was hard to say.
Lumia’s steps toward the third outer fortress felt like livestock heading to a slaughterhouse, as that sigh constrained her ankles.
She paused, lifting her gaze to the night sky.
The moon, lonely in the pitch-black darkness, felt like her, while the clouds lazily flowing across it felt like Elden, eliciting a bittersweet smile.
Lumia raised her bandaged left hand.
She reached out to grasp the retreating clouds, only to find them slipping away with ease.
Why does she want to catch that cloud?
Now that everything is over, wouldn’t it be better for each to walk their own path like that moon and cloud?
What’s clinging to her is a foolish attachment.
She once read in a book.
Those who seek to capture a monster must become monsters themselves.
The author explained that you must possess a strength that matches the formidable beast to catch it, but she’s starting to grasp the underlying meaning.
She had become the villain while trying to catch the villain.
By gazing into the wrong abyss, she had become tainted by it, which was her testimony to that meaning.
The moon and clouds have retreated further out of her sight.
Lowering her hand, she wished for those clouds to circle the world and come closer again, then bowed her head.
And then.
“…What are you doing?”
As if it were a lie, she faced Elden.
They had bumped into each other after he turned the corner.
Is she dreaming another cruel dream?
Or is it a vain illusion?
Is it a pitiful reality?
Lumia, unable to distinguish, moved her parted lips, seemingly entranced.
“I was… watching the clouds.”
In her slightly unfocused vision, a beautiful silhouette appeared.
A woman with a lavender bobbed haircut who matched a red dress perfectly.
“Have you… found a girlfriend… already? She’s pretty…”
“That’s a misunderstanding. I’m simply accompanying her for an important occasion.”
“Oh… well…”
“How did your hand end up like that?”
Lumia looked at her bandaged left hand.
The same left hand that had slapped Elden.
It was the palm that had been pressed down by sharp nails in retaliation.
“I was pressed down by nails…”
“…So, you’re saying you self-harmed?”
Instead of answering, Lumia let out a laugh that felt absurd. She glanced at Elden’s cheek. It was unsettling to face him for some reason, but her gaze naturally followed, landing on the spot where blood had once gathered. And there it was—his cheek, completely healed.
“…The injury… has healed?”
Why does she feel relief upon seeing his unblemished cheek?
What is it that makes her feel so small in front of him?
Why is it so hard to meet his steady gaze, even after she had inflicted violence upon him?
And then.
“Yes.”
At his response, her true feelings leapt out.
“I’m glad…”
If there had been an indelible scar, she wouldn’t have been able to face him at all.
Had she left a mark on her own body, she probably would have fainted.
So, she was immensely grateful.
The injury had transformed into a non-entity.
Of course, that doesn’t erase her act of violence.
“I… will go now…”
With those words, Lumia brushed past Elden.
Her legs felt twice as heavy as before, but she pushed herself to keep moving.
Then, from behind her, she heard his voice.
“Your Grace.”
Her steps halted.
She turned willingly to face him.
And then.
“Take this. It will help avoid scarring.”
Elden approached, offering something to her.
It was a thin, round tube.
“Although a scar has already formed, this ointment is very effective for healing wounds.”
“…Why…?”
You’re giving this to me…?
Do you not despise me?
When Lumia hesitated to take it, Elden placed it directly into her right hand.
“Well then, I shall take my leave.”
With that, he turned to walk away.
The sudden cloud that approached began to drift away again.
Lumia looked down at the ointment in her hand.
Elden, who had just suffered a deep wound from her, was now departing after offering her healing salve.
He was worried about the hand that had clawed at her cheek.
She couldn’t understand his heart at all.
The bystander, whom she despised so much, had given her something when she wanted nothing more than to refuse everything.
How could he so easily erase the violence inflicted on her cheek?
How could he approach her with such nonchalance, comforting her while standing right before the hand that had hurt him?
She found that utterly incomprehensible, and she felt truly petty and small compared to her past self.
Moreover,
Everything she had done until now felt meaningless and futile.
That must be why.
She felt a lump rising in her throat.
Tears welled up uncontrollably.
The emotions she had pushed down began to overflow and spill out.
Her mouth, which had forcefully expelled laughter to suppress her tears, finally started to relinquish the weeping.
Unable to bear the weight in her chest, Lumia sank to her knees, crying for a long while.
“Sniff… sob…”
Just like at the academy,
Just like in the past,
Watching Elden’s retreating figure,
Holding tightly onto the help he had finally offered.
After a brief moment,
A light drizzle began to fall from the sky.
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