Chapter 5
Honestly, at first, things felt pretty good.
Unlike how nervous I was, my body wasn’t trembling and seemed to be doing its job just fine.
‘I even have cheat sheets this time!’
The commercials from my previous life flashed vividly in my mind.
I could clearly recall Kim Jeong-ha’s performance and the child actress Lee Ji-yeon’s acting as if they were etched on my retina.
I can do this.
This should be no problem.
I thought optimistically, but…
‘…Something feels off.’
The girl captured on camera was unusually lively and full of energy, not quite like me.
Yet, I could still see ‘Ju Seo-yeon’ shining through.
This suggests that I didn’t really pull off my role properly.
‘What’s the issue?’
Honestly, even if I racked my brain, I wouldn’t know.
I’ve never learned acting; all I’ve done is gymnastics and imitated what I saw on children’s shows.
I had acted as a character from my delusions before, but I never confirmed it by filming like this.
“Hmm…”
Director Jo Min-tae wore a troubled expression.
“The truth is, we could continue like this.”
He replied after hearing my suggestion to shoot again.
“Honestly speaking, there isn’t a significant issue, right?”
“Uh, yes.”
“I just honestly don’t know what the problem is.”
“I just feel there’s a hint of awkwardness…”
Someone from the staff casually threw that out there, but it hit me hard.
Awkwardness.
‘Yes, that’s right. There is awkwardness.’
But why was that?
As I continued staring at the video, someone tapped my shoulder.
“Kim Jeong-ha?”
“Um… well…”
She hesitated, looking as if she were questioning whether she had the right to say anything.
Just like, “Am I even qualified to say this?”
In fact, some staff members shook their heads at her.
Though her performance was good, she had often underperformed in the past.
It probably looked like she was acting all high-and-mighty for just having done one good take.
But I know.
Kim Jeong-ha is a future star with ten million followers.
A talented actress recognized by ten million viewers.
“Kim Jeong-ha.”
“… Huh?”
“I’ve never properly learned acting.”
At my confession, Kim Jeong-ha blinked her eyes.
Looking into her eyes, she might have misunderstood it as me being boastful.
“So, naturally, there are many shortcomings. If something seems off, please do let me know.”
I felt something during my working life.
If you don’t know, just ask.
That statement doesn’t quite hold up in real work life.
You’re supposed to figure it out for yourself.
That’s what I heard the most from that Manager Kim.
‘But the Kim in front of me isn’t Manager Kim.’
Well, they both share the surname, but at the very least, Kim Jeong-ha isn’t someone who will snap back with a harsh comment.
She’s a bit timid, but she was trying to communicate something to me.
She isn’t foolish.
After all, since she hadn’t acted much, she knew that stepping up to say something would only make her a target for mockery.
But still.
She was willing to say something to me.
So, I wanted to hear her answer.
“… This is really just my personal thought.”
Maybe my words struck a chord, as Kim Jeong-ha stammered her response.
“Seo-yeon’s emotional acting is amazing. Even though you’re so young, it’s remarkable. Honestly, I can’t even mimic it.”
With trembling hands, she pointed to the video playing back.
“However, relying solely on emotional acting won’t convey everything on a small TV screen.”
Her words made my eyes widen.
‘Ah.’
So that’s what she meant.
I understood what she was trying to communicate.
Jo Min-tae also let out a small gasp at Kim Jeong-ha’s words.
“Ah, right. Yes, that makes sense. Seo-yeon, you mentioned you have never learned acting, right?”
“… Yes.”
“That’s right. You haven’t learned it, and it’s evident here.”
At that comment, I felt a bit embarrassed.
It felt like I had foolishly jumped into something without any prior knowledge.
‘Acting isn’t just emotional acting.’
And honestly, I didn’t think my highly praised emotional performance connected that well.
Maybe it’s because it was me.
Or maybe there’s something wrong with myself.
But I realized what the problem was.
‘Gestures.’
Acting isn’t resolved solely by emotions.
It includes the tone, rhythm of lines, movements, actions linked to that.
That all combines to convey the act.
I had simply acted through emotions and movements stuck in my memory.
And those movements were solely those of my previous life, Lee Ji-yeon.
It’s only natural that they wouldn’t fit me.
While they might seem proficient separately, they will never be my perfect performance.
But.
I hadn’t done much physical acting.
“… If it’s okay, could I offer some pointers? I’m quite confident about this…”
Kim Jeong-ha spoke hesitantly.
This is the ten-million star Kim Jeong-ha’s offer.
Of course, it was a suggestion I should gladly accept.
“Absolutely. I’d love for you to teach me.”
Emotional acting is the strongest weapon on screen.
Loud visuals, voice, music fully move people’s feelings.
Yet, watching on TV or a small computer screen, the emotional impact diminishes significantly compared to a screen.
Thus, compensating for that is the ‘visual acting.’
“So, here you do it like this…”
Even as we were set to reshoot, the staff didn’t complain.
They just silently observed as Kim Jeong-ha guided me through various actions.
And so, one hour passed.
Then two.
“Alright, we’re going to start shooting again now!”
By the time evening rolled around, we finally resumed filming.
Standing on set alongside Kim Jeong-ha again, I suddenly felt my body tremble.
Nervousness. And anxiety.
Feelings I hadn’t felt during the audition swarmed over me.
“Can I really do this?”
I wasn’t sure.
Honestly, what I just learned wasn’t even foundational.
It was merely a patch-up job for this CF.
But…
I looked at the camera.
I noticed Jo Min-tae moving his lips, preparing to give the cue.
And.
“… Director Jo.”
“Yes?”
“This feels suspiciously benefitting only the advertisers, doesn’t it? This is ridiculous, really.”
And just like that, my first shoot came to an end.
*
“Hiiing, Mom said I’d be cast!”
“Ji-yeon, no need to stress so much! There are plenty of auditions out there!”
“But still~~!”
Hong Jin-hee sighed at the sight of her daughter’s confidence plummeting after failing the audition.
That was already months ago.
‘Ugh, wonder who actually passed that audition.’
She grumbled, but inwardly, she had an idea of who it was.
She recalled the girl sitting all aloof in the corner.
While everyone else was tense, that solitary kid remained calm.
‘It’s definitely her. She was probably pre-selected.’
So she mustn’t have been nervous at all, right?
‘I’ve heard such things happen sometimes, but… ugh, how frustrating.’
It wasn’t unusual for auditions to be a front for pre-selection.
Hong Jin-hee was convinced her daughter didn’t get cast for that reason.
She had a cute face, to be fair.
No, actually, very cute! She must have got in just because of it!
Hong Jin-hee thought this while comforting her daughter.
“Our pretty girl, you’re going to kindergarten soon, so stop moping!”
“Hiiing.”
“Now, it’s time for our Ji-yeon’s favorite Bini Ping!”
With a beep, she turned on the TV to cheer the kid up.
As she thought about how remarkable her daughter would cry when reminded of a few months ago.
“Huh?”
While waiting for the show to air, a commercial appeared.
“Mom.”
“Yes?”
“I think I’ve seen that kid before.”
Hong Jin-hee nodded at her daughter’s observation.
She was just thinking the same thing.
The advertisement was for soy milk.
A brand she hadn’t heard of, a new product.
“Sister! Is this milk?”
The ad kicked off with a girl with long black hair whimpering.
Then, a cheerful woman appeared, shaking her finger as she poked fun.
“No way! This is soy milk I bought for you!”
“Soy milk?”
The girl held up the soy milk, squeezed her eyes shut, and took a sip through the straw.
The way she peeked to look at her sister was simply adorable.
“Wow! It’s sweet!”
Then, the colors shifted, and the girl’s face lit up.
Bouncing happily as she walked, her cuteness was impossible to ignore.
Within the bright colors, she moved joyfully, dancing around.
In between, the benefits of the soy milk appeared seamlessly, closing in on the girl’s delighted face.
Boom!
It was a commercial with striking visuals that might come off as overwhelming.
However, the leading woman and the young girl felt perfectly in sync.
Their lively arm movements.
The girl twirling in circles with her sister, linking arms.
‘Pure bean, pure soy milk,’ flashed dramatically on the screen at the end.
“Mom.”
When Hong Jin-hee came to her senses, her daughter Ji-yeon was pulling at her sleeve.
With the pouty face of a kid, it seemed she had been calling for a while.
‘Ah, so that’s how it is.’
Hong Jin-hee thought.
If her daughter had been there…
‘Of course, that’s why she didn’t make it.’
Even though she was her pride and joy, there was no way she could shine like that child.
*
I was utterly exhausted.
It was all because Mom dragged me out early in the morning.
“Mom, I have low blood pressure…”
“Oh, what do you mean? Seo-yeon doesn’t have that kind of stuff!”
Well, that may be true.
In my previous life, I suffered from terrible low blood pressure, so I wasn’t fond of morning movements.
“And Seo-yeon, soon you’ll go to kindergarten, so you need to get into the habit of getting up earlier!”
“Kindergarten…”
Just hearing the name made it sound like a place I didn’t want to go.
What a thoroughly useless and bothersome place it seemed.
Ju Seo-yeon, six years old.
This is the time when I hope for time to speed up.
I’d rather experience my middle and high school life again; that would be way more fun.
“Mom, it’s okay if there’s no rush.”
Still rubbing my eyes, I said that to my mom.
Mom and Sua looked at me with a frown, as if to say, “What do you even mean?”
“I wanted to leave even earlier, but since our pretty daughter kept snoring until the sun was high in the sky…”
“…”
Okay, I get it. I understand why Mom was nagging me like this.
It had been that way since yesterday.
‘Specifically, since I watched the CF yesterday.’
Yesterday was the first advertisement day for the CF filmed months prior.
Mom had been waiting in anticipation and even recorded it devotedly.
She smothered me in hugs saying our daughter is a genius, nearly suffocating me in her ample bosom.
‘There’s plenty left anyway.’
The soy milk from Garam Dream, ‘Pure Bean, Pure Soy Milk’ was just an ordinary product.
Originally meant to be a clearance item, but thanks to the advertisement with Kim Jeong-ha, it was selling fairly decently.
‘How much soy milk does one even buy?’
Moreover, considering that the neighborhood mart was relatively large, their stock must have been ample.
There I thought, but…
“…They’re sold out?”
“Not just sold out, they sold all of it in the morning! If I had known, I’d have stocked up more.”
The supermarket lady lamented, and my mom turned her gaze toward me with deep resentment.
Feeling her piercing gaze, I turned my head away sheepishly.
I never dreamed everything would be sold out.
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