Chapter: 460
A white uniform.
A plum blossom leaf pattern drawn on the chest. A scar that runs vertically across the neck, reaching the tip of the chin.
Sharp, slitted eyes and a deeply furrowed brow. Just from looking at him, you could tell he had an extraordinary temperament.
It’s not my place to say this, but I have to point out that no one would see him as a political figure or a Taoist.
He was the fiercest-looking human I had ever encountered.
Looking at him, I realized it was my first time seeing this person.
Yet, I knew who he was.
How could I not know?
He was the very person who had been making such a ruckus in my head.
Seeing the old man glaring at me like he found me distasteful, I cautiously called out, “Noya?”
“Humph.”
The old man snorted loudly at my call.
I rubbed the back of my head, which still felt sore.
“Are you really Shin Noya?”
“Tsk tsk… How many times have I cleaned up your mess? And here you are asking?”
The old man took a step closer.
He was considerably taller than I had expected. Maybe just a bit under seven feet?
Is this really Shin Noya? If so, why on earth is he here…
No, I should first figure out why I’m seeing Noya in this place!
“Thinking such foolish thoughts again, are we?”
“Excuse me?”
“Do I need to hit you on the head one more time? Get your thoughts together!”
I flinched at the sharp tone of Shin Noya.
I didn’t understand what he meant. What exactly should I be getting together?
Yet, as he spoke, the things that seemed unclear began to come into focus, little by little.
It felt like something was happening. I was starting to feel a change.
Noya still pouted as though he was unhappy with me.
“Oh, my. You poor fool.”
“…Why do you act like this when you see me? Just tell me the reason properly.”
“Of course. You’ve always been one to need everything spoon-fed to you.”
“…”
“Look closely at your chest.”
I tilted my head at Noya’s words and looked down. Why was he suddenly telling me to look at my chest?
“…!”
As soon as I saw it, my eyes widened and I reached out instinctively.
In a flustered panic, I started patting my chest, bewildered.
I had to react that way.
This was because there was a notably large hole where my heart should be.
“What in the world?”
What is this? Why is there a hole in my chest?
As I rolled my eyes around, trying to comprehend what was happening.
Haha.
“The vent really has plenty of airflow.”
Shin Noya burst into laughter at my reaction. His laughter felt more like mockery.
“… Wh-what is this?!”
When I asked why my body was in this state, Shin Noya merely pointed behind me.
As I turned to look, I saw the giant egg’s location from before.
Now, it was surrounded by plum leaves, obscuring its full appearance.
“What is that…?”
“That was inside your hole.”
“… What?”
I gasped at Noya’s words.
Is that what was inside my chest?
That’s…
“Wasn’t it my container…?”
Are you saying my container wasn’t properly formed?
“A container and a heart aren’t all that different. In the end, they mean the same thing.”
“… But the container should be in the dantian. How can you say it’s the same?”
“If both break, they will both be destroyed. So what’s the point of differentiating?”
“…”
Well, I mean, if you put it like that, I suppose…
I was speechless. Shin Noya sighed as he looked at me incredulously.
“While people were blocking your mess with blood, you create such a big mess.”
“You were blocking it?”
I listened closely to Noya’s words. He was blocking it? What did he mean?
Just as I started to ponder, Shin Noya swiftly stepped closer to me.
Thud!
“Gah!”
He hit my forehead hard with his fist.
The shock made my body sway.
The pain was so intense that I had to sit down, rubbing my head.
“Ugh…”
As I groaned, Noya continued.
“The energy within you keeps increasing, but your container can’t handle it. Shouldn’t you be supporting it somehow?”
“… Are you saying…”
The moment he mentioned the container I had been given by the divine, I realized it was nearly breaking.
Did that mean Shin Noya was preventing the container from breaking?
“Since when were you doing this?”
“Why ask, when it’s clear you already know?”
“…”
Around the time Shin Noya stopped talking to me.
To be precise, it was right after the closing ceremony ended.
‘From that moment, already?’
Just after my rapid growth.
That marked the beginning of what was supposed to be a few months of silence turning into years.
That statement couldn’t be.
“… Are you saying you’ve been holding it back since then?”
“Your level did improve a bit when you reached the Hwagyeong stage, but you couldn’t hold out for long.”
“Then, what about when I was saved in Vigo?”
Noya looked at me with a dumbfounded expression.
“Are you suggesting I should’ve just let you die?”
“…”
“Seriously. I helped you, and this is how you repay me? Crazy fool.”
He had a point; I had no arguments regarding that.
As I averted my gaze slightly, Noya let out a small sigh and continued.
“Listen up, kid. Your container is definitely not small. In fact, it leans towards the large side.”
Noya was looking at the egg behind him as he spoke again.
“Considering the amount of energy you’ve crammed into that container for it to come this close to breaking, it’s significant.”
The implication that the container was close to breaking due to excessive energy was different from simply having a lot of energy stored inside.
For someone with a past like mine, it would be unsurprising if that container broke multiple times, considering I often made high-stakes bets.
Instead, we need to consider the count and frequency of energy issues as a whole.
The spirit of the Nine Flame Wheel.
Volcanic ceramics.
Magi.
Vital Energy.
And finally, even the spirit of the Tuapacheonmu.
Together, five different forces were contained within the container, meaning it had truly reached its limit.
… Glancing at it, it felt like I had quite a lot.
For an ordinary person, having two types of energy would be an impossibility.
It’s no wonder the container was in jeopardy.
“The issue isn’t solely that right now…”
“Excuse me?”
“Right now, that’s not what’s important. We need to talk about something else first.”
Rustle.
Noya extended his hand toward the plum leaves surrounding the egg. When his fingertips touched them, they reacted.
Fwhoosh!
The plum leaves that tightly wrapped around the egg turned translucent, revealing its interior.
“…”
As I observed the egg again, its state was utterly pitiful.
The cracks were so numerous I felt like it would shatter if touched.
Unknown water kept leaking from the gaps.
Fortunately, the plum leaves kept it somewhat intact on the outside.
In other words…
You mean this state was ongoing without me noticing?
“Wrong.”
At Noya’s words, I turned my head in shock.
“Are you using mind-reading now?”
I was sure I hadn’t said anything. How did he know?
“I always say this, but dear, your face shows everything.”
Noya gazed at me, appearing to find me utterly pitiful.
“Originally, it was no different from a rag.”
A rag coming from a Taoist’s mouth…? Such unrefined language still left me speechless.
“It’s only right to consider this incident as something that has sped up that process.”
“What do you mean by that?”
What is this “something”? What happened?
Did something indeed happen to me?
Noya looked at me with a seemingly sunken expression, with heavy eyes.
“Remember quickly. You don’t have much time left.”
“So what…?”
“Or would you rather just forget?”
“It’s been ages since you showed up and all you say is nonsense…”
“I want you to remember why you’re here.”
Why am I here?
I truly should ask myself that.
Why am I here?
Why is my chest in this condition, and what does it mean that it’s accelerating?
If Shin Noya is telling me to remember, he seems to know something.
I don’t know.
Not a single thing comes to mind.
Once again, the fog settled into my thoughts that had begun to clear.
As I stammered, appearing utterly confused, Noya added a final comment.
“If you ponder endlessly and later regret it, I shall respect your choice.”
“Regret?”
Regret.
Those words made something stir in my empty heart.
What do I have to lose?
The reason I came here…
“Ow…”
Suddenly, a headache hit me, leading me to clutch my temples. I felt like something would surface amidst the pain.
Before long…
“Gah…!”
I found myself gasping, pressing my hand against my chest, as the sensation of my heart being pierced by a sharp blade returned.
Only now did recollections begin to emerge one by one.
The moment of the Heavenly Lord’s attack, finding myself helplessly face-to-face with impending death.
Even the glimpse of the Heavenly Lord as he advanced towards the Demon Sword Master, radiating with murderous intent.
The vibrations resounded.
Rumble!
The sound emanated from the giant egg in front of me.
I gazed at it and asked Shin Noya, “… Am I… dead?”
“You aren’t dead yet. But soon, you will be.”
“…”
My heart is pierced.
The container was in this state, and was now experiencing the recent influences, accelerating its decline towards failure.
That signals a near imminent break.
After processing this, I turned my gaze back to Shin Noya.
“What should I do?”
A question about the methods available. I couldn’t help but notice the baffled look on Shin Noya’s face as he processed my request.
“What do you mean, how do I find a way when I’m on the verge of death?”
“Since you seem to know something, is that why you’re asking me?”
“Ugh.”
I don’t know what this place is.
I can’t tell whether my insides are just a conceptual space or an entirely different realm.
What matters most is that Shin Noya appeared here to give me words of guidance.
“Look at this audacious brat. Now, you expect me to keep cleaning your mess.”
“Yes, please clean up one more time if you’re already at it.”
“Ugh.”
I said it as shamelessly as possible, well aware I didn’t have time for either begging or making more fuss.
Boom!
The movements in the egg intensified.
It felt like the pressure was building up and could break at any moment, but Noya’s energy seemed to be holding it back.
“What can I do to help?”
“… Why do you think I have the answers?”
“Well, you seem to be making that face as if you do!”
“…”
Upon hearing my words, Noya’s expression became even more pinched.
“Sure, I have methods, but they don’t seem particularly practical. So don’t count on anything else, that’s the vibe I’m getting.”
“… Are you reading minds, or is that more your skill?”
“Noya, your emotions are written all over your face too.”
Snicker…
Noya laughed at my commentary.
This was the first time I’d seen his face, yet, owing to our constant association, it felt strangely familiar.
Aside from that nostalgia, there was something important I needed to know now.
“… How can I overcome this situation? Please tell me, Noya.”
If dying from a punctured heart is true, how am I supposed to survive this predicament?
Noya, looking deep into my eyes, smirked as he spoke.
“Just a moment ago, you were in a fog, yet now with a woman in sight, your wits are returning. Tsk tsk.”
“…”
“There’s a way… yes, a way exists.”
I eagerly lent my ears to Noya’s response.
What could it be? Is it a method to widen the container when it’s about to break?
Or perhaps he’s prepared to offer me some miraculous chance.
I was on edge. I remembered being warned that if I overindulged here, things would spiral out of control…
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but expanding the container is impossible.”
This time, it was as if Shin Noya saw right through my expression, and he quickly answered me again.
“Even if I correct your unstable state, there’s no way you can properly manage what’s inside.”
“… Then, what must I do?”
In reply to my barrage of questions, Noya pointed once more at the egg behind us.
“Should you no longer be able to contain it, then just let it flow.”
“Excuse me…?”
Just let it flow? Do you mean to just abandon it, regardless of whether the container breaks?
“If the container shatters, won’t I die?”
“Indeed, you would.”
“Then, ultimately, that means…”
“… you as a human.”
“…!”
I widened my eyes at Noya’s chilling words.
As a human, I would die. What did that even mean…?
“Don’t you already realize? It’s becoming increasingly difficult for you to call yourself a human.”
“…”
“That very container is the last barrier keeping you human.”
The final barrier.
“… That container is what allows me to continue living as a human?”
“Moreover, it’s your foolishness that keeps it from breaking so easily.”
“Foolishness…?”
“Yes, your last desire to cling desperately to being human.”
Clench.
It felt as though my fists were unconsciously tightening.
Foolishness.
Is that my absurd longing to remain human no matter what?
Water flowed steadily, soaking the floor beneath me.
This water, I realize now, symbolizes the longing I’m clinging to.
“… I can’t comprehend this.”
“It’s fine if you don’t understand. What matters most is… the choice you need to make right now.”
“… Noya.”
“The reason I have been holding that back until now was purely due to my own ambitions.”
“If you deem it ambition.”
“If your desire to remain human is considered foolish, then it was my ambition to keep you, as a human.”
“…”
“I wished for you to remain a human.”
There was a slight bitterness echoing in Noya’s voice.
“Now it’s too late for you; the time has come for you to choose.”
What could he possibly mean by that? I faced Noya, showing no signs of hiding my unease.
“If you wish, you can die here eternally as a human.”
“…!”
As Noya stated this, the plum leaves swirling in the air flocked to his fingertips.
Gathering together as a handful, they morphed into a singular shape—a sword.
The deep crimson sword’s tip pointed directly at me.
“Now, make your choice. Whether to end it here, or live on as someone who is no longer human.”
“…”
Life and death.
When presented with a choice between the two, it felt as though the scales were blatantly tipped.
How could it not feel that way? That’s what living is all about.
Even knowing this, I found myself struggling to formulate a response.
Becoming non-human.
The very gravity of those words made it hard to speak.
“… If I’m not human… what will I become?”
“I don’t know. All I can say is, if you choose that path, you will surely regret your decision.”
“If I choose this, will I come back to life?”
“I can’t say that either.”
“What do you mean…?”
“Your physical form may be restored, but what resides within that shell, whether it is truly you, remains uncertain.”
It was a truly terrifying declaration.
“I might not even be myself?”
What does it imply, if I am no longer “me”?
Additionally, the forewarning that I will inevitably regret this choice filled me with dread.
I thought I could sacrifice anything for the peace I sought.
Now, it seems that assumption was incorrect.
“I see.”
With that thought in mind, I stared at the crumbling egg.
“I must have wanted to live as a human.”
After having lived an inhuman existence in my previous life as a subordinate demon, I now yearned for a life as an ordinary human.
That desire seems to have remained a mystery to me till now.
Could that mean if I forfeit this desire, I will suffer unending regret?
Perhaps, that indeed seems likely.
Yet.
I walked forward with an expression of indifference.
“…”
Watching this, Noya had nothing to say either.
He merely observed me in silence.
My destination was the egg.
As I got closer, the sight of the egg was still abysmal. It looked precariously close to collapsing at any minute.
It bore an uncanny resemblance to my own life.
A life marred by countless colors, crumpled, and shattered.
The egg’s shape appeared to encapsulate my life as a human being.
Slowly, I reached my hand out toward it.
Pat.
The texture was coarse; there was nowhere soft to touch.
It seemed to reflect my own temperament.
Ignoring that, I pushed deeper inside.
Crack!
As the outer layer shattered, my hand slid easily into its interior.
The feeling within was strangely warm.
“…Kid.”
Amidst the unfolding situation, Noya called for me in a frail voice.
“Yeah?”
“Do you regret this choice?”
Hearing Noya’s question, I couldn’t help but laugh.
Regret?
“No. I wish to quit right now.”
“Then—”
“First off, there are far more important things than my pitiful pride.”
The foolishness of wishing to live as a human and die in that manner paled in comparison to those I hoped to bring peace to with my measly life.
“It would have been much easier to choose if it was my death against the world.”
I was the sort who valued my own pride above saving the world. In such a case, I would have chosen without a moment’s hesitation.
Regrettably, my opponent was just too powerful.
“… Ha.”
Upon hearing my response, Noya let out a hollow laugh.
“You haven’t changed even after so long.”
“No, you haven’t changed either.”
“What of me?”
“You still have that fiery temper.”
“… You brat?”
Crunch!
Just as Noya was about to approach with an increasingly discordant expression…
Crrrrack!
A massive fissure split the egg in all directions from where my hand had penetrated.
Water began to seep out from the long, thick cracks.
“…”
A wave of foreboding surged as I sensed something monumental was about to happen.
Swallowing down the creeping dread within, I spoke.
“Oh! Right, Noya.”
I addressed him again.
“What is it?”
“If we’re to meet again later,”
“Huh?”
As I continued speaking, the shell of the egg shattered into pieces, and the water inside surged forth.
WHOAAAH!
Right before being swept away by the rushing waters, I flashed a big smile at Noya.
“I think we’ll have much to discuss regarding Lady Dangjemun.”
“…”
As I mentioned Lady Dangjemun, Noya’s expression turned quite amusing.
That’s what I needed.
I would tease that old man to my heart’s content.
For now, this feeling was more than sufficient.
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