Chapter 45: I Became a Genius Professor at the Academy
Personal Goal: Entice the Academy students to either raise their overall awareness about Illusion Magic / join the Purple Magic Tower / or buy a truckload of items from the Purple Magic Tower.
Mission: Bulk up the students using the Simulation.
Secret Mission: Identify the Black Wizards within the Academy.
Important Duty: Regularly introduce female students to Pink-Haired Lesbian.
“I don’t remember writing that last sentence. Was it you, Pink-Haired Lesbian?”
“It’s me, right?”
The last sentence regarding duties and whatever got deleted.
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All administrative processes are tedious and laborious. Both the doer and the receiver find themselves squirming in agony. The professor admission procedures at the Academy were no exception.
“So, they’ve invited you as a professor to teach about countermeasures for Illusion Magic…”
“Shouldn’t you be giving him a broader authority? He’s the Imperial Prince’s choice, after all.”
“I think it’s a bit reckless to assign duties to someone unverified without due caution. At the very least, we have to verify his character and ability beforehand—”
“Hey Pink-Haired Lesbian, how about a game of word chain?”
“Sure thing. Mithril.”
Professors, administrative clerks, the Academy’s Vice-Principal, student representatives, and others were raising their voices regarding my treatment. I killed time playing word chain with Pink-Haired Lesbian amidst the commotion.
All these issues stemmed from the Second Prince abusing his power, shoving me into the Academy without proper organization or clearance. If he was going to stick me here, he could have at least put me in a high position instead of just tossing me in!
To make things worse, he even informed them about a crazy method of using magic, saying, “Since he can wield realistic Illusion Magic, he can supplement the Academy students’ lack of practical experience.”
The irony was that he genuinely believed it to be Dimensional Magic. The Imperial Prince mistaking Illusion Magic for Dimensional Magic and disguising it as such? What a headache.
And that’s how we ended up with this mess.
A massive debate exploded about what tasks to assign the suddenly arrived wizard, alongside my ongoing word chain game with Pink-Haired Lesbian.
“Lament Twists.”
“Sword of Sighs.”
“Is that actually a real artifact?”
“Is that truly a legitimate spell?”
As we doubted each other’s expertise, our warm-hearted word game hit a tie at 1 win and 1 loss each in the third round.
After 1 hour and 30 minutes of bickering, the Academy folks concluded they needed to evaluate my abilities first. A bespectacled clerk approached and asked,
“What’s your realm?”
“3 Stars.”
“You haven’t even achieved Metamorphosis; do you really think you’re qualified to teach students?”
“Are you disregarding the Second Prince’s judgment?”
“!! T-That’s not it; I’m simply trying my best to serve the Empire…”
The clerk suddenly collapsed under the pressure, shrinking like a deflated balloon. After fending off the first challenger, a sleazy-looking wizard approached to question me.
“I’m Alejandro Menuba. A Silver-Grade wizard from the Gold Magic Tower, responsible for maintaining the training grounds and teaching Introduction to Basic Elements at the Academy. I mean no disrespect, but I’ve achieved Metamorphosis.”
He definitely meant disrespect.
“Mm.”
“There are quite a few students who have reached the 3 Star Realm here. This is the Academy, a cornerstone of the Empire’s national power. Your abilities may be ample outside but are deemed insufficient for a professorship here. Wouldn’t it be better for the sake of the students if you voluntarily stepped down?”
“U-Uh, e-excuse me, where are you looking while speaking, Mr. Alejandro?!”
“What’s that supposed to m—Huh?”
The Silver Scrub had been muttering all sorts of worries about an illusion-covered persimmon tree until he was snapped back to reality when someone called him from the side. His face turned beet red from the embarrassment, chewing on his handkerchief as he retreated.
He had a thick mental barrier, but when I disguised it with information about women, it fell easily. Just as I thought; with that sleazy face, he definitely looks like a womanizer.
Lastly, a one-eyed Viking stepped forward with a large two-handed axe in one hand.
“Nice to meet you, Anchovy! I’m Alexon, in charge of the All Things About Close Combat course! You say you supplement practical experience with Illusion Magic? That’s great… only if you, Anchovy, can realistically implement combat!”
“Hm.”
“How can an anchovy, who looks inexperienced in real combat, implement actual combat? Come out here and experience my axe! If you knock me down, I’ll acknowledge you!”
“How about a verbal duel?”
I answered calmly and quietly opened a large bag I had been carrying at my side. It contained various equipment for establishing a Simulation Room in the Academy, alongside the combat data I diligently collected.
Long ago, I was hammered by a Cleaning Golem.
Since then, I’ve been feeding combat data into AI, running an infinite combat simulation in accelerated time until my mana runs out. It’s not complete. After all, the path of Martial Arts has no end.
However, it should be sufficient to compete on some level.
“Do you think you can win just by talking?”
“Let’s find out!”
“Alright, I’m picking up my axe and stepping diagonally to the right…”
I input the Cyclops Viking’s combat data and waited. The AI produced the next move, and I repeated it verbatim. We continued this process back and forth.
Moments later.
“Uheukheuk… sob…”
The Cyclops Viking was sobbing sorrowfully while clutching his axe. Despite three desperate attempts to defy, he was utterly defeated in this war of words. Reflected upon his loss to a wizard, the Cyclops would later state,
“The wizard’s sword had no emotion.”
It was a swordsmanship only a complete maniacal slaughterer focused solely on how to kill could achieve, devoid of any emotion.
===============================================================
Had it been a serious one-on-one confrontation, I’d have been certain to lose. Professors at the Academy are pretty much walking weapons, after all. Even a scratch from Silver Scrub’s “Awl of the Earth” could leave serious wounds.
But give me a little time to prepare and the first move, and it’s a piece of cake.
Underestimating me because I hadn’t achieved Metamorphosis made proving my skills as easy as pie. I received the faculty’s acknowledgment and proudly became a professor in my own right.
With administrative tasks on my plate, being assigned to a professor’s dormitory and private office, along with keeping busy handling various duties, time zipped by quickly. Now, with just a week until the start of the new term, I needed to finalize the lecture preparations I had been postponing.
Thanks to the Second Prince’s (forced) explanation, I now thoroughly understood the Academy’s structure. Courses were divided into Core and Elective; core courses were mandatory, while elective ones were to be chosen at leisure.
The key difference from modern university courses was that grades didn’t matter for graduation. You could graduate from the Academy even if your transcript was plastered with Fs. It’s just that no one does it—because how embarrassing is that?
I was slated to teach “Countermeasures for Illusion Magic” as a Core subject.
And for the elective, I was supposed to teach whatever I wanted.
Rumor has it, some professors opted to teach stuff like “How to Tear Apart a Wyvern with Your Bare Hands,” making their subjects so unappealing that no students would enroll. Whether they wanted to slack off or genuinely hoped to impart such knowledge despite the students’ disinterest, no one knew.
“What should I teach…”
“Are you pondering what to teach so the students won’t enroll in your class?”
“No, I have no intention of slacking off. If I can, it’d be nice to help each other. There’s so much I owe to share with this cold, harsh medieval Academy.”
“Like what?”
“Things like ‘How to Pretend to Be a Cool Medieval Knight’ and ‘Eleven Ways to Steal a Man’s Heart’ and such.”
“…?”
Pink-Haired Lesbian’s expressionless face subtly shifted. Then suddenly, as if activating her Kill Crazy Wizard Mode, she floored the accelerator, showing zero regard.
“Do you fancy men? That makes sense; I figured as much.”
“Nah. Watch your mouth, you Les.”
“Then what’s ‘Eleven Ways to Steal a Man’s Heart’ supposed to mean? Explain yourself.”
“Theoretically, men know men’s hearts best, so they’d know how to steal them too.”
I was confident saying that. In a world free of clichés, every flirtation was lethal. After all, hadn’t I captivated numerous men, including the Northern Grand Duke and, incidentally, the Second Prince as well?
Even though I said it jokingly, I felt sure teaching it could be effective. The thought of a noble lady running around with toast in her mouth already made my heart race.
“Mr. Crazy Gay Wizard. You should at least pretend to agonize over how to root out the Dark Wizard.”
“Pink-Haired Lesbian, don’t worry about it. I’ve got a plan for that.”
A grand event that would inject dreams and hope into the dreary Academy life. A slight twist could allow me to catch two birds with one stone.
“Why might a Black Wizard become a Black Wizard?”
“Due to a tragic backstory, a desire for power, or hostility towards the Church of the Goddess—usually something like that.”
“Exactly. They ended up choosing the path of Black Wizardry due to their insufficient power to achieve what they desired. Look at this.”
I pulled out a longsword that I’d slightly modified with magic and handed it to Pink-Haired Lesbian. She took it and began inspecting it from all angles.
“I’d pay around fifteen silver coins for this.”
“Eh, I bought that for one gold coin, though?”
“Idiot.”
“Awaken, Demonic Sword!”
As I shouted the activation phrase, the jewel embedded in the hilt opened, revealing an eye. The eye darted around chaotically, then narrowed its pupil to glance at Pink-Haired Lesbian.
“Are you my new Master? Awakening me – I’m impressed by your reckless audacity—”
“Eep!”
CRACK!
Pink-Haired Lesbian swung her fist, effectively channeling her weight into a powerful punch that sliced the longsword in half. The Demonic Sword… was gone.
With her next punch ready, she glared at me.
“What gives?”
I hurriedly began my explanation before that punch could fly my way. While I regretted the sword I spent one gold coin on getting sliced in two, saving my own neck was the priority at this point.
“It’s merely an illusion! An illusion! A toy sword created through Illusion Magic.”
“Now that you mention it, I felt no wicked energy from it.”
“My plan is to release this convincingly deceptive fake Demonic Sword to lure in Black Wizards. I’ll become a fisherman catching humans with this.”
“Do you really think you can deceive them with a sword that has no real function?”
“You’re clueless, I see. The key lies in storytelling…”
Yes, storytelling was essential. If I crafted a believable scenario that made one want to believe it, a toy sword could transform into a genuine Demonic Sword sealed with incredible power. I intended to sprinkle these around the Academy along with various Hidden Pieces.
If it ended up in the hands of someone who didn’t appear to be a Black Wizard, the sword would proclaim, “Moved by your noble spirit, I choose to die by my own will,” subsequently transforming into a purified Demonic Sword.
I crossed my legs and extended my hand. Pink-Haired Lesbian stared blankly before asking,
“What now?”
“You owe me. Two gold coins.”
“Didn’t I say it was worth around fifteen silver coins?”
“Well, that’s excluding the fact that I got ripped off. I’m just considering the reagent materials that went into its production.”
…
Pink-Haired Lesbian looked away. What was up with her? Wasn’t two gold coins a trivial amount? Something that could be picked off the ground? Plus, it’s practically pocket change compared to the grants a Magic Tower received.
“The Magic Tower gets loads of funding… the Defense Bureau, on the other hand, is a bit stingy.”
“So, you’re in debt then? Down on all fours.”
“Yes.”
Pink-Haired Lesbian dropped to her stomach immediately. I plopped my butt onto her sturdy back and crossed my legs. I held onto her ponytail like a handle. Lately, this is how we amused ourselves. It was sheer boredom.
Not being able to see the Tower Master made it even lonelier. Was she eating well? Bathing regularly? Was she still energetically kicking her friends at the Magic Tower? And did she ever think of me?
As I cautiously sketched the Tower Master’s face against the sky outside the window, the door to my personal office burst open.
A familiar redhead wobbled in.
“My name is Selvier, a freshman. I heard someone from a Magic Tower was here… so I came to greet—OH MY GOSH?!”
“Oooh, it’s so good to se—”
“W-Why are you two here? No, it seems urgent, so I—I’ll come back later!”
The Red Tower Wizard slammed the door as she dashed out.
I fell silent for a moment before murmuring carefully.
“It appears there’s an unpleasant misunderstanding, doesn’t it?”
“Seems like it, young master.”
Deep sigh
It was spring.
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