Episode 41: Confession at Dawn
When Luke woke up, the sky was already beginning to brighten.
Opening his eyes, he was so startled to find Alexia there that he nearly jumped out of his skin.
— “I’m sorry for making you associate with my father,” she said apologetically, and he vigorously shook his head in denial.
Leaving Victor behind in his room, the two of them stepped into the hallway together.
The light of dawn quietly streamed into the frost-covered garden. Walking alongside Alexia in the fresh morning air wasn’t just a joy; it was also quite refreshing for him.
As the daily chill of winter approached, the cool breeze felt delightful against his flushed cheeks.
Ouch…!
Suddenly, an old wound beneath his clothes throbbed, causing Luke to frown. He discreetly adjusted his collar, hoping Alexia wouldn’t notice.
The burn mark on his chest was a painful reminder, inflicted by his stepmother, Hermine.
By the time Luke reached an age of understanding, the relationship between his father, August, and Hermine had already turned frosty.
Hermine would often pester him for new dresses or jewels, but it was quite rare to see August speaking to her at all.
Instead of sharing romantic evenings together as husband and wife, August frequently avoided his home, disappearing for the night without even a word about where he was going. Just a minimum number of attendants tagged along as he slipped away, seemingly at odds with his responsibilities.
It had been the same back then.
One bitterly cold winter night, when Luke was still under ten years old.
Even though it was the kind of season that hinted at a snowstorm, August again left without telling anyone where he was going and didn’t come back until late into the night.
That day, Hermine, who tended to have a hair-trigger temper, was in an especially dreadful mood.
She violently roused Luke, who she usually preferred to ignore, and angrily demanded to know where her husband had gone.
Luke shook his head, claiming ignorance, but that only fueled Hermine’s rage, leading her to unleash her fury upon him instead.
“He must be off to the commoners’ district again! What on earth could he be planning?!”
Even if Luke had some insight into his father’s actions, he understood nothing. All he could do was stay silent, terrified of Hermine’s wrath.
“What’s that man thinking? Is he planning to create even more unwanted children like you?!”
Hermine’s anger now seemed insatiable, and she quickly escalated from mere insults to outright violence.
In a fit, she snatched a fire poker from the blazing hearth and drove it into Luke’s chest.
The pain was so intense it rendered him speechless.
His clothes burned away, flesh seared.
Curled up, wracked with agony from the unbearable pain, little Luke slipped into unconsciousness.
“… A Baron is a Baron after all.”
A stern voice jolted Luke back to reality.
“Baron Valten must have decided to take you into his household of his own volition, right? So, isn’t it the duty of a father to protect his child no matter what his wife has to say?”
“Now that you mention it, that makes sense…”
Luke couldn’t fully grasp why Alexia was so upset, but it seemed her ire wasn’t directly aimed at him. So, he decided to simply observe. She looked beautiful even when angry… he couldn’t help but admire her carefree charm.
“If the Baroness can only love her own child, she shouldn’t have married into a household where she knew you were present from the start.”
The fact that the Baron and his wife had become engaged after Luke was taken in by the Valten family had been mentioned in a report Ewald had previously dug up.
It was Luke who had been within the Baron’s family first, and the Baroness had not been unfaithful during their engagement or marriage.
She must have known Luke was part of the picture from the very beginning when she accepted the engagement, and certainly when she agreed to marry.
If that’s the case, would it not make sense at least to feign the role of a mother?
It might be somewhat expected for there to be differences in affection between stepchildren and biological offspring, but as the matriarch of a noble family, she should be expected to set personal grievances aside and show some generosity.
Indeed, many a wife has taken in her husband’s illegitimate children, providing them with a noble education.
For example, there’s the Marquis of Northeim. The current marquis is the illegitimate son of the previous one and a commoner, but his wife, the Marquise, graciously took him in and raised him to be her rightful successor. Now that he has inherited his title, he has gained notoriety as a brilliant young leader, smart like a whip.
The marquis, who has been hailed for saving the Northeim family from decline, even took the opportunity during an official speech to express his gratitude, stating that the real hero was not himself but rather his beloved stepmother.
As the example of the marquis shows, it is a wife’s duty to take on the training of her husband’s children, and molding an undesirable child into an exceptional individual ultimately benefits the family as a whole.
To be unable to grasp that and instead choose to openly discriminate and oppress is nothing short of small-mindedness.
Alexia generally abhors injustice and tyranny; however, what she detests most is seeing young children suffer unjustly.
“If the Baroness couldn’t love him and treated him cruelly, she should have let him go much earlier. A little excuse would have sufficed to help him live like a commoner. Surely, compensating him handsomely and leaving him in trustworthy hands wouldn’t have been a significant loss to the Valten family’s coffers.”
“That’s true…”
Luke nodded, acknowledging the wisdom.
Despite relentlessly belittling him daily as a lowly child of a commoner, it appeared that Hermine never even entertained such a line of thought.
“Indeed. But…”
Luke pondered that he might have been happier had he been told to live like his birth mother and cast out to the commoners’ streets rather than endure life in the Baron’s mansion.
While he might not be able to enjoy the riches, he would certainly have lived peaceful days, unhindered by scorn or insults from others.
If he had dwelled among the commoners, he would have avoided an engagement with Natalia, which held no affection from him.
He would never have been cast aside, condemned, or ridiculed by others.
No one would call him a useless burden that had lost all value, nor would he fall victim to expulsion from his home.
“But… I met you.”
Because he had been raised in a baronial household. Because his engagement had been annulled. Because he had been driven from his ancestral home. That was how Luke had come to walk upon the land of Rietberg.
He met everyone in the castle, particularly Alexia.
“The sadness, the regrets, and the misery… all of it…”
Luke’s light blue eyes shimmered with affection as they were fixed upon Alexia.
“Meeting you made it all worthwhile, Lady Alexia.”
— All the misfortunes of his life multiplied together could never compare to the strength that was Alexia.
Life is far better, no matter how grueling it may be, if it includes encountering you rather than leading a tranquil existence devoid of your presence.
With his heart full, Luke thought this sincerely.
“…”
Alexia fell silent.
She wasn’t sure how to respond.
(…why…)
As she changed into her evening attire, Alexia tightened her arms around herself.
(…why do you care for me so much?)
She wanted to ask, but somehow, the words wouldn’t come.
(Was it because I saved you when we first met…?)
On the day Luke arrived in this land, by pure coincidence, Alexia was the one who pulled him from the brink of despair.
Perhaps that’s why it struck him so deeply?
Luke might be confusing gratitude with love.
What if it wasn’t love at all, but merely a sense of indebtedness?
Questions surged through her mind one after another, yet for some reason, she couldn’t voice a single one.
Unable to find the resolve to contradict Luke’s words outright, Alexia opted instead for silence.
“It’s good that I have this life…”
Luke spoke, his tone reflective.
There are as many people as there are stars in the night sky. Even being born in the same country means there are many he would never meet in a single lifetime.
Yet, Luke had come to meet Alexia.
No matter how unattainable their worlds may be or how impossible his one-sided affection could unfold, it was surely better than living his life without ever knowing her.
“This life, having met you, is indeed good.”
Alexia still struggled to fully digest it.
It wasn’t that she couldn’t trust Luke; rather, it was her own belief in herself—someone constantly labeled barbaric and crude—that was wavering.
“…”
And yet.
She found herself comforted by Luke’s earnest feelings.
Deep down, she wished these feelings would forever remain directed solely at her.
Why did she find herself yearning for such a thing? Even she couldn’t say why.
She didn’t recognize the name of this feeling.
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