Chapter 41: Goblin Hunt ~Before~
The Red Tower Wizard, face flushed with anger and shame, stormed into a random room in the Village Chief’s house and emerged five minutes later, looking utterly pristine in her clothes. There wasn’t a drop of liquid anywhere.
I found this fascinating and was about to ask, “Did you dry yourself with a fireball?” but I refrained, fearing a fireball might fly at my face instead of a fist.
Instead, I asked Pink-Haired Lesbian.
“Did she dry herself with a fireball?”
“Did you not study about other Magic Towers?”
“I figured I wouldn’t cross paths with other towers if all I’m doing is research in the Purple Magic Tower…”
It was just an excuse.
In reality, I deliberately avoided learning about them. I learned the Fan Spell and the Air Conditioner Spell for my own comfort, but if I started learning other spells, I feared it would lead to a severe case of feelings of deprivation.
The Tower Master also advised against it. She said it was better to stick with just Illusion Magic rather than dabbling in other types.
It wasn’t that a wicked Tower Master was trying to prevent her potentially Archwizard talent from being stolen by other Towers. There was a somewhat rational reason behind it.
To put it simply, it was due to the EXP bonus from continuous usage.
An old man from the Red Tower could learn Blue Tower magic at any time, but doing so would gradually chip away at the Fire Magic EXP bonus he’d built up over 80 years. That’s why wizards only focus on one magic system.
The idea of an Archwizard who could wield all attributes is something you only hear in fairy tales. Dipping into everything leads to a ‘worst character build’ situation.
Pink-Haired Lesbian succinctly explained, “Each Tower’s jurisdiction is broader than you might think. For example, the Red Tower’s Fire Magic categories include warmth provision, inferior plant growth promotion compared to the Golden Tower, healing that’s subpar to priests, pest control that’s inferior to the Blue Tower, and even ironing or drying, all falling under the same category.”
“Are you saying those other Tower folks even have Utility spells…?!!”
“Why are you so envious…? Illusion Magic is already more powerful than necessary, so don’t glare at me like that.”
Ignoring Pink-Haired Lesbian’s lines, who had no idea about the struggles of Illusion Magic, I felt an indignation rise.
Watching Senior Scarface’s pitiful utility efforts, I thought maybe the other Tower folks couldn’t do this… But that didn’t seem to be the case. While we dealt with the absurdity of “It doesn’t itch even when bitten by mosquitoes,” those guys were just “not even getting bitten by mosquitoes in the first place!”
The fact that the Red Tower Wizard could erase all traces and look completely dry indicates that, along with Clean Magic, she probably had some handy convenience magic to evaporate the liquid.
“From what I know, the Purple Magic Tower originally had a broader range. It could project illusions onto others and, also… summon beings from illusions, like dream demons or devils… That might have been a slip of the tongue.”
Pink-Haired Lesbian hurriedly wrapped up her explanation.
I made a mental note of it but pretended to ignore it. After nearly a decade in the Purple Magic Tower, I hadn’t heard a single word about anything resembling Illusion Summoning Spells.
Pink-Haired Lesbian knew something the Tower Master couldn’t have overlooked. If she didn’t mention it on purpose, there must be a reason. I chose to trust the Tower Master and let it go.
“…Who are you, a Purple Tower Wizard and a guy in a suit?”
After a tug-of-war between embarrassment and anger, it appeared anger won, as the Red Tower Wizard glared at us with a clear “I’m angry” expression and began interrogating us.
From under her flipped hood, strands of hair strangely tied in loops obscured one eye and dangled unnaturally low, showcasing a rather unique hairstyle.
As I pondered what kind of answer would be amusing, Pink-Haired Lesbian stepped forward and pointed at me.
“This is Mr. Leon Evans. He is a legitimate descendant of the Evans Barony, here to grasp the lives of the suffering commoners and to take appropriate action.”
“?”
I put my arm around Pink-Haired Lesbian’s shoulder and turned to whisper.
“What on earth is this sudden backstory?”
“Did you think of revealing your amnesia to a wizard you’re meeting for the first time?”
“Not that! I could have just said I’m a passing wizard.”
“That’s not a suitable reason for a Purple Tower Illusion Wizard and a person suited up to be roaming around together. Who wears a suit and just happens to pass by?”
“Then it’s your fault for wearing a suit!”
“Look, I patched things up, didn’t I?”
“Just change into normal clothes!”
“If I do that, Mr. Crazy Wizard will lose control of his libido and try to pounce on me!”
“What kind of confidence is that…? Fine, I’ll humor this for now.”
I turned back.
The Red Tower Wizard stared at us in bewilderment, likely thinking about what on earth we were doing. I cleared my throat several times to bring my voice down and started my roleplay as the youngest—about four siblings ahead of me—who couldn’t even dream of inheriting the Barony and ended up in the Purple Magic Tower crying.
“Yeah, I’m Leon Evans. I had no intention of revealing my status but, well, here we are. It’s expected; the dignity of nobles shines through thick and thin like a needle piercing through jumbled pockets.”
“…Your servant just said that, word for word.”
“That’s not the important part. Now, it’s your turn, oh Wizard. Do you carry the noble blood of the imperial family?”
“…I’m a commoner.”
“Ah, I thought as much. One can tell from your frizzy hair and somewhat lacking demeanor. But fret not, for I am a noble who embraces commoners with open hands—”
Pink-Haired Lesbian interrupted, “Mr. Leon. Wizards affiliated with a Magic Tower are legally considered baronial rank.”
“Indeed. You must have endured many hardships for research. Although not born of noble blood, those who attain their status through knowledge should be respected. No wonder you couldn’t bear injustice, showing courage like a true noble.”
“Enough with the pretentiousness, just speak plainly. I have no interest in flaunting my nobility.”
“Is that so?”
“…”
===============================================================
A disaster had struck a peaceful rural village: a goblin tribe had appeared nearby. These green little brats may be easy pickings for seasoned warriors but posed a significant threat to potato farmers.
If a farmer, hardened by toil, hit a goblin with a hoe, that goblin would die. That much is true.
Yet humans also carried a fatal weakness; they got mortally wounded when stabbed. Plus, goblins were primarily nocturnal.
They would strike when farmers returned home after a day’s work and fell asleep snoring. Goblins were crafty assassins. Hence, in a rush, the villagers gathered funds and sent the most educated young man to a nearby city to deal with the goblin tribe.
This remarkably educated young man also happened to be a promising Fire Magic talent enrolled in the Red Magic Tower and had a genius beauty of a little sister who had passed the Academy entrance exam!
Believing he had genius coursing through his DNA, the village young man set off to the city to recruit mercenaries to deal with the goblin tribe. And needless to say, he got swindled instantly.
The unscrupulous mercenaries changed the contract from “Goblin Tribe Subjugation” to “Village Protection” and only pretended to chase the goblins away at night. Thus began a prolonged stay while they effectively drained the Village Chief’s resources.
Word was that the Red Tower Wizard, hoping to revisit her hometown before entering the Academy, stumbled upon this mess just moments ago and began her interrogation.
“This is why mercenaries are the worst! They’re filthy, vulgar, spewing innuendos, and downright rude!”
Watching the indignant Red Tower Wizard made me recall the handsome guy with a beauty mark. He had looked sharp and forgiving, even when I accidentally walloped him in the head with an ogre’s club.
They said they were second-rate adventurers, correct? And they would graduate to first-rate after completing the metamorphosis.
“By the way, what rank are those mercenaries?”
“They claim to be third-rate, but if they’re that, it would be fortunate if they’re even fourth-rate.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. They didn’t use any aura, lacked physical enhancements, and were completely oblivious when I was prepping my magic. At best, they’re probably just 1-star….”
The Red Tower Wizard began counting on her fingers.
Indeed.
I stumbled onto a term I didn’t recognize. Stars? Isn’t that a term reminiscent of game characters? Quite intriguing! I’ll have to ask Pink-Haired Lesbian about it when I get the chance.
When I cast Illusion Magic just now, it slipped through the mercenaries like a finger through whipped cream. So much so that I, the caster, was taken by surprise.
If I wanted, I believed I could also cast a permanent version of Illusion Magic. Imagine making meat taste like lotus root for the rest of their lives, or making men appear as women!
The Red Tower Wizard had a fair degree of resistance. She had a couple of thin mental barriers, but they didn’t pose much difficulty to bypass. Let’s say it was as bothersome as twirling a pen with one hand.
It seemed the Red Tower Wizard held an edge over the mercenaries, but just to be cautious, I decided to ask.
“What’s your skill level?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“There are a whopping five mercenaries. They have the numbers on their side. If you had adequate skills, then fine, but if it’s just reckless bravery driven by some sense of justice, then a word of advice might be necessary.”
“Stop meddling in my affairs. Do you not realize what it means to have entered the Academy?”
“Nope. Not a clue.”
“Young Master Leon has been enjoying secret rendezvous with the estate’s maid for the past decade, which is why he hasn’t left the estate. Please forgive his lack of common sense.”
Pink-Haired Lesbian threw in an additional slander jab with timing sharper than a knife. Not just the content of the slander but the whole narrative was getting tangled! If I hadn’t left the estate in ten years, then how did I manage to enroll in the Purple Magic Tower?
Resigning myself not to be the only one in trouble, I jumped in, gripping onto her ankle. If I’m going down, I’m taking you with me!
“That maid right before you is the pink-haired one! She pesters me every night; it’s absolutely exhausting. That’s why she insisted on joining my solo traveling endeavors. Lately, she’s taken a liking to voyeurism, dragging in other women…”
“I have zero interest in your sex life, okay?!”
While I bickered with Pink-Haired Lesbian, I took stock of the situation. Stuck in the Purple Magic Tower, I hadn’t been able to gauge my combat strength. I had cast Illusion Magic on the First Princess, who was in the realm of Metamorphosis, but it was tough to gauge my true skill level since I had relied on various magic circles, potions, and cash.
During our friendly bickering, I used sign language to ask Pink-Haired Lesbian about the level of Academy students. She indicated with her hands that they were around a third-rate level, and the Red Tower Wizard appeared to hover around there too.
From what I gathered, I could handle those at the level of third-rate mercenaries quite easily.
The reason I was gauging my strength now was quite straightforward. I was on the verge of becoming a professor at the Academy. Depending on my strength level, it would determine whether I’d be simply ‘surviving in the Academy’ or ‘demolishing the Academy with Illusion Magic.’
As a professor, if I were weaker than the students, what could I do? I’d be begging them on my knees, saying, “Please fall for just one illusion. Please, just once!”
But thankfully, it seemed I would be able to dominate those at the student level without much effort.
Of course, there would be a character like the Student Council President who was suspiciously strong. That’s practically the unwritten rule of the academy genre. If I keep an eye on those types, I should manage just fine.
Nodding to myself, I wrapped up our discussion.
“I admit it, your courage was justified.”
“I didn’t want your acknowledgment!!”
“The next steps are the problem. What’s your game plan? I can help drive out the mercenaries or take care of the goblin tribe.”
“How can I cooperate with someone whose background I don’t even know? Forget it, I’ll take down the goblin tribe myself and make the mercenaries taste their own medicine!”
The Red Tower Wizard, unable to reign in her emotions, swung her staff wildly and marched out of the Village Chief’s house. I exchanged glances with Pink-Haired Lesbian.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m thinking of following her.”
“I thought you came here to recover your memories.”
“I don’t remember anything, but that wizard might have been my childhood friend! And I like characters like that. You know, the ones on the side of justice.”
“A lecher!”
“I saw you checking her thighs. Please reflect on yourself before—”
===============================================================
“Don’t follow me—”
“We are! We are just heading in the same direction coincidentally!”
“And coincidentally moving at the same speed too. That is all.”
the awkward silence fills the air
The Red Tower Wizard looked quite annoyed at our uninvited company. However, our reason for following her wasn’t merely for amusement. It was a rescue mission.
We weren’t worried that the brave wizard would be defeated by goblins.
The real concern was for the morally bankrupt mercenary gang. When they realized that their lawful opportunity to extort food had been interrupted by the wizard proclaiming, “I’ve burned down all the goblins, so just scram!”, would they just retreat quietly?
Highly unlikely. Moreover, the mercenaries who had been repelled by the Urination Urge Magic at the Village Chief’s house hadn’t returned even when we completed our discussion and exited. They definitely hadn’t left with their arms around each other!
“Are they planning an ambush?”
“More likely than not.”
“?”
There might be more prey than just goblins to hunt.
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