Chapter 40
‘For sure, healing is way faster when no one’s looking.’
Recalling how his wounds had taken forever to heal during the experiments and had to be stitched up, leaving him with scars, Lian stared at his ripped clothes.
‘What am I going to do about this?’
After pondering for a moment, he started rummaging through the room.
“Oh, found it.”
He located a needle and thread and quickly got to sewing the clothes. In no time, they were as good as new.
‘Next is…’
Although the clothes were mended, the blood soaking them didn’t magically disappear. Just when he was about to head to the bathroom to use his housewife skills to get rid of the blood, he spotted Totogen’s clothes.
“Eh, might as well wash these too.”
Lian stripped Totogen of his robe. Suddenly, the air of authority disappeared, revealing a frail old man whose body looked like it had been starved. Although Totogen was too young to be called an old man, his face was crisscrossed with wrinkles that made him appear ancient.
With the robe off, thin clothing became visible. Not wanting him to catch cold, Lian threw a carpet draped over the sofa on top of Totogen.
“Better wash these quickly before he wakes up.”
He filled the bathtub with water, tossed in the robe and clothes, and started scrubbing. White foam bubbled up like a party in the tub, and in an instant, both the robe and clothes were squeaky clean.
Having to dry them fast, he wrung out the excess water and went out to the terrace, laying them over the railing.
Woosh!
Amidst the hot breeze and cheering, the clothes dried faster than a crispy bacon strip. The rapid drying had Lian sweating like a sauna.
‘The higher the floor, the hotter it gets…’
Thanking his lucky stars for the speedy drying, Lian slipped into the now-dry clothes and carried the robe back into the living room.
“I… uh, talk to me…”
Totogen was mumbling strange things like he was trapped in a nightmare. Lian gently pulled the carpet off him and dressed him in his robe.
‘Alright, now it’s all done… Ah.’
He spotted blood splattered on the floor. Rolling his eyes, he slyly covered the bloodstains with the carpet that had been hiding Totogen.
It seemed a bit awkward, but hey, the bloodstains were totally hidden.
“Eh, it’s not like I did anything wrong. This should be fine.”
Lian murmured to himself and sauntered toward the door.
“Well then, I’m just gonna take my leave.”
Thud.
Not long after Lian bolted…
“Ha…!”
Totogen snapped back to consciousness.
“Heugh… Why am I laying down?”
Clutching his head, he sat up.
“I was sure that …Huh?”
While trying to piece together his memory, he felt a shiver and glanced down at his robe.
Pop, plop!
“What, what, what is this…?!”
Flowers had burst out of his clothes, swaying like they were at a rave, emitting a scent that was weirdly pleasant.
And, strangely enough, a pink aura was softly glowing around him.
“Why has my… my precious robe, bought with a fortune, turned into this… this…?!”
Totogen’s robe was the epitome of luxury, draped in a buffet of magical effects. Just wearing it alone gave off an air of dominance, it corrected his movements, controlled temperatures, and even had a space of its own—it was the Swiss Army knife of robes.
It was also the most expensive piece of gear he owned.
And now, this prized robe exuded an adorable scent reminiscent of baby cheeks.
“Who on Earth did this…?!”
Fueled by rage, Totogen jumped up, shouting.
“Eh…?”
He crashed into the carpet on the floor, losing his balance and tumbling backward.
Thud!
“Guhk…!”
He smacked his head against the corner of the sofa and rolled his eyes back, fainting like a dramatic actor.
*
Stepping out of the zombie’s room, Lian walked down a grand corridor. Soon enough, he stumbled upon a spacious lounging area adorned with long sofas and a fountain. The Odol-like man, along with Iris and the rat beastman, were all there.
The Odol-like man was busy lecturing Iris about some trivial thing, but Lian didn’t pay any attention as he approached her.
“Whoa?! How the heck are you already out?!”
The Odol-like man jumped in surprise at Lian’s sudden appearance. Lian just rolled his eyes for a moment, contemplating.
‘If I said that zombie rudely gutted me and after getting scolded by my own organs I collapsed, they definitely wouldn’t buy it…’
Even if the rules of the gag world were messing with his head, he knew that organs talking were pretty hardcore weird.
“Did you really act disrespectfully toward Lord Totogen… what?”
The Odol-like man, with a twisted expression, was marching over when the rat beastman whispered something to him, leaving him dumbfounded. He cleared his throat and took a step back from Lian.
‘Looks like we can milk this cow for a bit longer. Ahem.’
The Odol-like man started rubbing his hands together like a fly and approached Totogen’s secretary, speaking sweetly.
“Please, be sure to let Lord Totogen know that more quality programs are on the way, and we hope he enjoys them for a long—very long—time as if he’s at home! And—…”
The rat beastman eagerly nodded along.
The secretary listened to the Odol-like man’s words with an expressionless face, tossing in some tips about Totogen’s preferences here and there.
Swish.
While the Odol-like man and the secretary chitchatted, Iris came over and grabbed Lian’s hand.
“Thanks for waiting -…whoah!”
As he was about to shower praise on Iris for being so patient, she suddenly yanked his hand, making him stumble. Before he knew it, Iris’s nose was buried deep in his neck, sniffing like she was trying to figure out a conspiracy.
“Ugh…”
Iris sounded displeased, her tone lower than usual.
“Iris?”
“Smell…”
“….!?”
Is my body… smelly?
As he froze, shocked, Iris followed up with,
“Blood… smell.”
“Ah.”
Hearing that, his despondent heart bloomed into a beautiful garden.
“I spilled a bit of blood earlier, that’s why it smells like that -…ugh!”
In that moment, he felt a ticklish pain shot through his neck. Iris had bitten him! His own child… had bitten him!
“Why, Iris, why…?”
Feeling like a father reprimanded by his daughter, he called out to her. Iris lifted her face from his neck and pouted, her eyes all stormy.
“Promise… is a lie.”
“What..?”
Iris tapped his hand. Only then did he realize what she was getting at.
“Ah—right, the promise to not put a knife to my throat?”
Iris nodded. With her cheeks puffed out in a tantrum, if he said she was cute, would that just make her angrier?
“So you bit me because I didn’t keep my promise?”
Nod—
With a resolute expression, she nodded, and Lian’s feelings of being reprimanded melted away. How could he get mad knowing she was worried for him?
The wound that he thought would ruin his life felt more like a dog gnawing at him for coming home late.
Just look at her, trying to sneakily peek at his reaction.
‘This must be one of the joys of raising a daughter,’ he thought, patting Iris’s head, who was watching with caution.
“I’m sorry. I’ll be careful not to smell like blood from now on.”
At his apology, Iris’s eyes narrowed again. He must’ve stepped in it again. He waved his hands, trying to clean up the mess.
“Uh-oh, and I won’t have anything sharp close to my throat, right?”
Iris gave him a piercing look before nodding. He figured he got it right this time.
“Well then, we’ll be off!”
Finally wrapping up his chatter, the Odol-like man waved goodbye to the secretary and trotted over to them.
“It’s time to head downstairs, so let’s move.”
Lian followed the Odol-like man without a fuss.
*
“Whoa!”
Lian and Iris had been assigned to a room two floors higher than the previous one. Complete with a living room and two bedrooms, it was practically a mini house.
“This can be Iris’s room!”
“…!”
Each of the two rooms had a bed, clearly designed for personal occupation.
At Iris’s age, it was typical to want a room of her own.
‘Sometime soon, she’ll probably get upset about mixing her laundry with mine,’ he thought.
While wiping the sweat off his brow, he noticed Iris shaking her head vigorously.
“Eh? You don’t like this room? Would you prefer that one instead?”
At his words, Iris shook her head again, furiously, let go of his hand, and dashed into the room. Then, she… hoisted the bed!
“Iris, that’s dangerous!”
She could topple a monster the size of a house, but she was still just a fragile girl! His thoughts were all jumbled up as he stopped her from lifting the bed.
“What’s wrong, Iris..!”
“Ugh…!”
It took him a while to realize that Iris was trying to move the bed to sleep beside him.
Just as he was feeling teary-eyed from the sweet gesture…
Knock knock.
“Are you in there?”
A neighbor from the same floor popped by to visit.
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