Chapter: 383
Avoiding my friends, I snuck out and caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror nestled in the corner of the hallway. It suddenly hit me—the reason everyone in the dining hall was eyeing me with such complicated expressions.
When anyone sees a little girl trying hard to smile while tears drip down her cheeks, it’s no wonder they look like that.
I brushed away the tears pooling in my eyes and dashed back to my room, launching myself onto the bed.
In the cold room filled only with the sound of the freezing wind knocking against the window, my sorrow deepened. My emotions were slowly consuming my rationality.
[In times like this, it’s better to move around than to hide in your room.]
‘Do you think I don’t know that?!’
If I rolled around to the point of exhaustion, surely my gloom would dissipate.
But to do that, I’d need to head to the training grounds, and if I did, a bunch of people would just stare at me with those complicated eyes again.
That would create discomfort for both me and everyone else, so I opted to stay holed up in my room instead.
[You sure are bashful, huh.]
‘What of it? This is who I am.’
[Not what I’m saying, you little rascal.]
Ignoring the old man’s laughter, I buried my face in the pillow when suddenly, a voice I had momentarily forgotten penetrated my ear.
“The melancholic visage of a beauty. Indeed, it’s gourmet.”
Turning my head to follow that creepy tone, I saw the Foolish Fox with a smirk stretched across its face.
In other circumstances, this little brat would be lunging at me, eager to lick my tears. But the current Foolish Fox merely wore a perverted grin and didn’t move an inch. The arrival of winter had rendered it sluggish.
I watched the slow-swaying tail of the perverted fox and eventually stood up.
“Hm? It’s nice that you’re peeking at me with those tear-filled eyes but why’re you coming closer? Why’s your paw twitching? Stop! You wouldn’t want to touch a beast like me!”
Even if it’s a spirit, its origin is still that of a beast. As long as the drowsiness brought on by winter hibernation lingers, the Foolish Fox’s resistance is futile.
So easily, the Foolish Fox was caught in my grasp as I ignored its jabbering and embraced its thick fur and warmth.
“Ahhhh.”
Eventually, the Foolish Fox surrendered its resistance, letting itself relax under my touch.
“I like you, so I have just one piece of advice to share.”
I said nothing and waited for it to continue. Aside from its usual perversion, a wise being like the Foolish Fox isn’t exactly common.
“Emotions won’t disappear just by ignoring them. They’ll only grow. So face them and accept them. Only then can you move forward.”
The wise tone reflected in its words made me chuckle. Why does this magnificent thing only show its beastly side most of the time?
If it continues like this all winter, I might need to keep the Foolish Fox cooped up forever.
“Ah, and it would be great if you could ignore your disgust toward me as much as possible. That face you make when you’re repulsed gets my blood boiling. Gah, yes! That’s the expression! Perfection! I might just die from happiness.”
Scratch that. This creature is someone who should be sealed away for winter till the end of time.
*
Arthur sat in the dining hall, dazed, while the others prepared for their training, recalling the sight he had just witnessed. Lucy, struggling to smile while tears streamed down her face.
Seeing the typically confident and proud Lucy displaying such vulnerability prompted many thoughts for Arthur.
Yeah. That girl definitely possesses absurd talent. She seems trustworthy enough to withstand any calamity that stands in her way.
She could even smirk defiantly at death itself, as if it were just another annoyance.
But she is human. No matter how tough she pretends to be, at the end of it all, she’s still human.
“Joy.”
The moment Joy peeked her head from behind a pillar upon hearing Arthur’s voice, she panicked and tried to hide, only to slip and tumble onto the floor.
Crash! The loud noise filled the dining hall; it was surely painful, but Joy quickly got up, her face flushed red as she forced a nonchalant expression.
“Don’t worry. Everyone else is too busy preparing for training.”
“Can’t you just pretend you didn’t see?”
“If I pretend, I’ll have to deal with someone throwing a fit.”
“Ugh.”
As Arthur’s deadpan words sank in, Joy trudged over and flopped down on his opposite side.
“Good thing too. I had something to ask.”
“What is it?”
“Do you know what Lucy Alrn was looking for in the archipelago?”
Joy’s face stiffened for a moment upon hearing Arthur’s question but the tension was fleeting, as she quickly assumed a neutral expression through her magic.
“Is it related to her finding her expression back?”
But as the next inquiry followed, Joy’s carefully crafted expression crumbled once more.
“…You knew all along?”
“Of course, I did.”
Arthur kept his sense of calm as if he were still limited to his dorm days at the Alrn Knight Order. He had been immersing himself in her books desperately to win their bet.
How could he not know about Lucy Alrn’s excursions?
The same went for her expressions. How could he not notice when she, who always wore an annoying face, suddenly breaks into a bright smile?
“After all the time spent with her, how could I miss that?”
“Wow, that was really a romantic line.”
“Joy, did you want me to curse?”
“Sorry.”
This girl clearly did not care who she was pushing to the ground. Any knight from the Alrn family hearing this conversation would’ve likely tried to kill him.
Seeing Arthur’s frown, Joy cautiously continued on, sensing his mood.
“Why have you been pretending not to know?”
“Because she didn’t want to let me know.”
For some reason, Lucy Alrn never told him about it. So out of respect for her, he pretended ignorance. He upheld his decorum towards her, his benefactor and mentor.
“But why now?”
“For the same reason you came to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Surely you didn’t think I would let this slide by?”
“W-What do you mean by that?”
“It’s obvious. With that devilish look, and yet you have such a soft heart, I just had to step in.”
As Arthur observed Joy’s annoyance at his remark, he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“We’ve only have received so much help from her; if there’s a time to repay it, this is it.”
“…That was the very thing I was going to say.”
“Haha. Sure, whatever. But enough about that, spill what you know!”
“Sigh. To be honest, I’m not sure what the Young Lady was looking for on the island.”
From what Joy heard from the other knights, it was confirmed that Lucy had been seeking a hidden dungeon.
But only Lucy Alrn truly knew what she was after in there. Unless she spoke, there was no way to learn of it.
“However, I think I know why she’s feeling so down.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s coming up to the anniversary of Lady Alrn’s death.”
The loss of her mother. Hearing that word, resonant with a pain he had personally experienced and still couldn’t shake off, Arthur bit his lips.
“This is troublesome. It’s not something an outsider should interfere with.”
Knowing that Arthur still carried scars from his own pain, it was clear he understood it was best to not meddle in Lucy’s sorrows.
“I felt the same, so I was searching for something that could make the Young Lady happy, even for a moment. But nothing’s come to mind.”
Arthur understood Joy’s struggle. The magnitude of sadness was unimaginable, so nothing trivial would shake it off.
No, perhaps…
Arthur closed his eyes for a moment, continuing to think.
The answer came quickly.
The business in the archipelago was over, and he could consider that promise kept.
Well, it wouldn’t be a problem even if it was a misunderstanding. If things went south, he could always intervene.
Arthur used his refined soundproofing magic and began to speak.
“Joy, listen carefully.”
“Yes.”
As Arthur lowered his voice, Joy’s gaze deepened. It must have seemed important enough to warrant her full attention.
“It’s still just a guess, but Lucy Alrn doesn’t seem the type to lash out if she genuinely desires it.”
After finishing, Arthur waited for Joy’s reaction. Either a confusion, disbelief, or her usual foolish response.
But upon hearing Arthur’s words, Joy showed no sign of shock. In fact, her expression conveyed a hint of disdain.
“Why are you reacting like that?”
“Prince.”
“Don’t you believe me? I understand your feelings.”
“Not that.”
“Then what?”
Joy, shaking off her usual highborn pretenses, forged ahead.
“Look. I’ve spent more time with Lucy Alrn than you have.”
“R-Really?”
“I was the first to be rescued by her, to become her friend, and to be trained by her.”
“T-That’s true…”
“But do you really think I’d not figure that out?”
Arthur finally understood the source of Joy’s condescension.
Right, she may be inept but she’s not foolish.
In terms of interpersonal relations, she was better than he was. To have maneuvered around social chaos, Joy had to be clever.
There was no way Joy wouldn’t notice what I figured out while holed up studying.
But.
But there’s one odd part.
If this girl had really picked up on Lucy Alrn’s traits a long time ago, then why…
“Why did you pretend not to know?”
“I’ll just throw back your words at you.”
“…Because she didn’t tell me.”
“That’s right, Lucy didn’t share it. So I observed her from a distance.”
Arthur realized that he was unaware of a Lucy Alrn Joy knew.
The Lucy Alrn who had been stirring up chaos in high society.
Back then, Joy simply thought her antics were part of Lucy’s character.
But what if that wasn’t Lucy’s real nature?
What if, at that time, she was just screaming inside?
What if she was trying hard to appear strong amidst all the criticism?
Was it truly right to tear off the mask she had fought to wear?
When Joy finished her speech, she lifted a hand to her face and regained her usual calm demeanor.
“Then let’s find another solution. Prince.”
Joy would not speak further until she was certain of her doubts.
To avoid damaging Lucy’s resolve from the past, she chose silence.
“…Alright.”
Arthur nodded weakly.
“So what should we do?”
Just then, he startled, turning to the presence that had appeared beside him.
Frey Kent was looking up at him, her eyes innocent and wide.
“When did you get here?”
“Just now.”
“There should’ve been a barrier up around here.”
“I cut through it. It was rubbish.”
Arthur gritted his teeth at Frey’s flippant remark.
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