Chapter: 380
I didn’t give it much thought since it was a matter of survival.
‘Let’s just say it.’
What can I do? In a situation where everything is already exposed, to act stubborn would be like showing off a slit throat and begging someone to pull the string.
Even in a situation where there’s only circumstantial evidence, if I feel the other party is lying, it’s annoying. But to deny it when there’s hard evidence? That’ll get me zapped by Beatrix’s Thunderbolt at close range—definitely more perilous than fighting Dorgon. At least with Dorgon, I could counterattack.
Perhaps this is my last chance. The last opportunity to confess in my own words and avoid having my soul mercilessly threshed.
‘It’s still okay.’
Yeah, it’s not too late. Even though I didn’t mention joining the fight or getting hurt during our communication, this is the first time I’m facing them directly.
I could say I wanted to talk in person because it’s important, instead of through a communication device. There are some logical loopholes, but it’s within reason.
“Let’s just stay like this. When club time comes, we’ll head to the club room then.”
While my mind raced, my mouth moved naturally. Regardless of the pressing situation, it had been a while since I saw Mar and Beatrix.
I should also call Erichabet and Penelia to the president’s office later. If I had known it would turn out like this, I would have brought them along from the start.
“Uh, Carl, can I go to the club room today too?”
As I patted the backs of the two, Mar cautiously spoke up. It seemed she wanted to spend all day together.
Even amidst the instinct to survive, her warm request made me smile involuntarily. If anything, it wasn’t just a request; I would have happily accepted if it were an order.
“Of course. It’s a good idea to stick together all day today.”
“Thank you!”
Seeing Mar’s beaming smile made my heart swell. As expected, first father-in-law Barenti really has a treasure in Mar.
“I’ll be fine even at night, so I’ll leave the door open.”
As soon as I saw that smile, I couldn’t help but add extra words. But seeing her pure appearance, how could I hold back?
“Y-yeah?”
Caught off guard by an unexpected attack, Mar, who had been smiling, stuttered as if she had lost her mind. Her face turned as red as her hair, so it seemed the shock was greater than I thought.
I was satisfied. Mar isn’t particularly strong in offense, but her defense is low too. This is definitely the Mar I know.
“If it’s uncomfortable for you to come, I can go to Mar’s room—”
“Oh, no! I’m fine! It’s not… it’s not uncomfortable, but— I think we should save that for later!”
Mar fumbled in a strange fluster, causing Beatrix to chuckle softly as well. Meanwhile, the mention of “later” suggested that she had some tiny desires hidden in her heart.
“Baby, then is it okay if I go?”
“It’s fine—”
“No way!”
Mar’s swift response to a comment that anyone could tell was a joke made me laugh again. It’s delightful. With all this laughter, it feels like I’ve reached the end of everything.
…While it’s delightful, I could cry thinking this is my last happy moment before confessing the truth.
*
Comforting Mar, who looked pouted, was no easy task. A princess like her wouldn’t have been made fun of, so it’s no surprise she’s sensitive. Plus, with her lover playing pranks right after their reunion, it’s understandable if she feels hurt.
I don’t think teasing someone is commendable, but I also don’t regret it. Even if I could go back in time, I’m sure I would have played pranks on the Mar I knew back then.
“I’m sorry, Mar. I was just so happy to see you that I wanted to talk a little longer.”
“But there were plenty of other topics…”
“Honestly, I want to be with you all day, Mar.”
At that, Mar, who had been sitting on my knee, quietly lowered her gaze. Despite the previous teasing, it seemed she liked hearing I wanted to be with her. Unfortunately, I hadn’t specifically said something like that to Mar often.
Looking back, I realize I was quite something. As a lover, my expressions of affection were severely lacking. Even with all sorts of pent-up feelings, it was excessive in a way.
“And in a few months, we’re officially going to be spouses, so I wanted to practice living together.”
After thinking for a moment, I whispered into Mar’s ear. The affection I hadn’t expressed until now could just double in the future. Flattery may make others cringe, but if lovers enjoy it, then who cares?
“W-well, we don’t need practice for that…”
Mar answered shyly, her shoulders trembling slightly. Still, her voice seemed brighter than before; perhaps mentioning marriage lifted her spirits.
‘From now on, I should speak up more.’
As I said before, with marriage just a few months away, there will be plenty of chances to talk.
Once Mar graduates, I plan to get married right away, so I’ll have to take charge of wedding preparations. However, I will definitely need the bride’s opinions as well. Inevitably, I’ll have to talk with her frequently.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Thus, with this small determination, I planted a kiss on Mar’s forehead. After all, among my lovers, Mar has probably suffered the most, so I need to prepare the best wedding. Even father-in-law should give a standing ovation for that.
Well, if things go south, I might as well ask my mother or nurse for advice. They have wedding experience, so they probably know well what dreams brides have about their weddings. They’ll be able to point out the finer details that I might miss.
“Carl, wait a moment.”
“Yeah?”
Just as I resolved not to seek advice from my aunt, Mar’s lips brushed against my cheek.
“I’ve only received until now. I want to give back as well.”
Despite her embarrassed expression, from the listener’s perspective, it’s incredibly moving. While Penelia would faint just from a mere touch, Mar can retaliate like this.
Tears might come to my eyes. Is this the dignity of a first wife?
No, perhaps it’s just that Penelia is particularly weak.
“I guess I should step outside for a bit.”
‘Ah.’
Before things could get too lovey-dovey between the two of us, Beatrix’s sulky voice broke through as she spoke.
That was a bit much. No matter what, I’d be mistaken for showing favoritism in front of them.
“That can’t be. Today, you two should stick close to me.”
With a smile, I gave Beatrix a light pat on the side, and she quickly came over to sit next to me.
On my empty knee.
“Uh, Beatrix?”
“What’s wrong?”
Seeing Beatrix, with a slight blush on her face, quizzically looking at me, I couldn’t bring myself to speak again. This was clearly a significant act of affection she took courage to make.
“Just… you smell nice.”
So I changed the words I intended to say a little. It’s not right to treat someone poorly when they’ve put their heart into something. Plus, saying she smells nice is the truth.
“Oh, really? I’m glad to hear that.”
I’m not sure what she’s glad about, but it sounded like a nice comeback on her part. Anyway, as long as she’s happy, it’s all good.
‘Now’s the time.’
Only after sitting Mar and Beatrix on both knees, I felt a sense of certainty. With this pink atmosphere accidentally created, confessing now could cut down the times I get scolded to about three instead of ten.
“Being like this makes me realize I’ve really come back. I’m glad I returned without any injuries.”
As I started with those words, both pairs of eyes focused on me. Their gazes seemed to say, ‘I didn’t expect you to bring that topic up.’
For a moment, the urge to retract my words sparked, but I held it back.
If I don’t do it now, I won’t get the chance again.
*
Things got tangled up.
“What on earth happened here?!”
The shout filled with rage and tears pierced my ears. The lady’s maid standing behind the lady couldn’t help but bow her head, keenly aware of how furious she was.
Things got too tangled up. It was something I couldn’t hide forever, so I had planned to tell her eventually, but through her information network, it became clear that Carl had participated in battle. I completely overlooked the connections of Mar, a lady of the Krasius family and daughter of the Wise Duke.
“I distinctly heard he wouldn’t be partaking in any battles! I sent him off with that understanding!”
“L-lady, that’s—”
As I desperately opened my mouth, her sharp gaze bore down on me. It was as if she were saying, ‘How dare you make excuses in front of me?’
After trembling under her sharp gaze for a while, she sighed softly and, in a voice smaller but even more weighted with emotion than before, said,
“I can understand that Carl participated to rescue you, Billy. I’m glad you made it back safe thanks to him.”
“Lady…”
“Silence.”
I was moved by her words of relief and opened my mouth, but in a blink, I had to shut it again. I was a bit clueless.
As I stood there, receiving more piercing glances from her, she muttered helplessly.
“It’s natural for a son to fight to save his father. But why was he at the forefront? Why did he directly confront the enemy leader and get hurt?”
After a moment of looking utterly bewildered, the lady eventually couldn’t hold back her emotions and burst into tears.
I had nothing to say. She had teared up with joy when she received the message that Carl had returned safe and was happy to hear he would soon be visiting the territory with Erich.
But now she wept because her son had gotten hurt unbeknownst to her, feeling betrayal seeing her husband conceal that fact.
‘What can I even say?’
It’s all my fault. I could rationalize that Carl concealed his injuries out of a son’s desire not to worry his mother. But me keeping silent amounted to a husband hiding things about his child.
Carl’s distorted filial piety and his father’s silence. Naturally, the latter would be more shocking. That’s why I couldn’t offer any excuses or apologies to her.
“I’m sorry, lady. I should have told you sooner, but I couldn’t because I thought you’d be shocked.”
Yet, I spoke up. Responding to an incident that arose from silence with more silence would be terrible.
“I share your worries and sadness. I, too, am his father, and I feel that’s only natural.”
Perhaps thanks to our shared bond as Carl’s parents, the resentment etched on the lady’s face was starting to fade a bit.
Thank goodness. It seems she’s willing to listen to me.
“I wanted Carl to be in a safe place too. However, if he wishes to end the matter he couldn’t wrap up three years ago and wants to clear that bond, how could I stop him?”
“End… that matter?”
The lady, still sniffly, managed to speak. When Carl was decided to join the campaign, he had to share with her the stories of the Northern region to persuade her when she wept and fainted. The grief from what he experienced there; the pain of leaving friends and loved ones behind.
All the lady knew was that he wanted to resolve that grief and pain through battle. When Carl persuaded her, he avoid describing the Terenjin or Dorgon as much as possible.
“That boy had an enemy, a sworn foe. He wanted to defeat that being himself.”
As soon as I said that, the lady bowed her head in silence. A wise person like her had likely grasped the situation with just that remark.
With her head bent down, tears dripped from her hands on the table, but her sobs gradually became quieter. She understood the situation Carl had faced, causing the resentment and sorrow to diminish.
I carefully added to her troubled thoughts. It wouldn’t be fair to only share negative news with her.
“But Carl triumphed splendidly. He defeated the enemy leader and brought victory to the Empire. Though he suffered injuries where an arm was severed, he has healed completely—”
“What do you mean his arm was severed?!”
…
Huh?
“His arm… severed?!”
The lady’s fury surged once more. Even the maid standing behind her seemed shocked, her eyes wide in disbelief.
Could it be that she only heard about his injury, but not what got hurt?
“That injury… you covered it up?”
‘Crap.’
That’s a blunder. I thought she would naturally know everything since she was aware of his participation and his injuries.
When I fell silent again, she stared me down for a long time before softly declaring.
“Billy, I think I’m going to dislike you for a while. Specifically, until Carl returns to the territory.”
At that pronouncement, I sadly nodded.
*
After receiving the mistress’s banishment order, I headed towards the family manor in the capital. If I loitered around the territory, she might just pack up and leave elsewhere.
As soon as I entered the manor, Georg, who I had been indebted to since yesterday, welcomed me.
“Told you, didn’t I? I figured you’d be here soon.”
“Shut it.”
Seeing Georg snicker made me feel the urge to kick him out.
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