Chapter: 347
As the sun began to set, the students slowly started to disappear, one by one. On any other day, I would have returned to my lodging by now to rest, but today, I found myself wandering outside.
“…Mother has collapsed.”
Erich cautiously shared this tidbit right after club time ended. Only someone of the 2nd Crown Prince’s temperament could stay silent upon hearing such news.
Honestly, I had suspected it to some degree. I had heard that when I participated in the last war, Mother was greatly worried and overwhelmed. But now, after three years of peace, her husband and son were both heading to war? Even someone with a strong mentality would find that enough to send them into a panic.
Still, I hadn’t expected it to lead to her fainting. Then again, can anyone really build up a tolerance for such a thing?
“The nurse was at a loss too. Mother kept asking for you as she cried, but she had to call for you. And you, with everything going on, are hardly available to talk to. It’s no wonder she came to me for help.”
I let out a small sigh, recalling Erich scratching his head as he spoke. I should have gone to the territory before she collapsed. No matter how much the Patriarch was there for her, I planned to visit her before the war started. Regardless of how much of a half-hearted son I’d been, in her eyes, I was her complete son.
Just like how the Patriarch sees me as his son.
‘Damn it.’
Lately, my head had been throbbing almost every day. And sadly, most of this headache seemed to stem from my own actions.
After wandering around in front of my lodging for a while, a mage from the family appeared via teleportation.
“Sub-lord, I’ve come for you.”
“Got it.”
I had urgently contacted the housekeeper to request a mage. Right next door, the continent’s top mage was available, but this was something I needed to attend to alone. I couldn’t risk sending the news about Mother collapsing to Marcilio or anyone else. It would only cause them more anxiety; I only needed to worry about myself.
“How’s Mother?”
As I nudged the mage who was preparing the teleport, their expression darkened a little.
“Fortunately, she opened her eyes just before I left, but she’s only drinking water.”
I bit my lip at that. At least she was avoiding dehydration, but it seemed that was all she had avoided. From what I gathered, she had gone a long time without food.
“She will be waiting for you. Off you go.”
“Yes.”
I shook off the waves of worry and placed my hand on the mage’s shoulder. I needed to get there fast to show my face, instead of just worrying.
Upon arriving at the lord’s castle’s front door, I rushed to step inside. The attendants bowing and the knights saluting me barely registered in my mind. I just gave a vague wave as a greeting.
Of course, those from the household seemed to see Mother’s fainting as a state of emergency, so they didn’t concern themselves too much with me. That fact only worsened my frustration.
“Sub-lord!”
“Housekeeper.”
Soon after, the housekeeper came rushing over in a hurry.
“You arrived just in time. The lady has just regained consciousness—”
“Let’s go, is she in the bedroom?”
“Yes, yes!”
The housekeeper, who managed most of the territory’s affairs alongside the Patriarch and I, usually presented a composed and calm demeanor. But now, even the housekeeper was stuttering and wearing an unmistakably flustered expression.
‘Just in time.’
Hearing the housekeeper’s words made me feel ashamed. I was late. I should have come long before to hear that I perfectly timed based on her needs.
“Sub-lord, the lady has just regained consciousness, so if she sees you, she might not be able to control her emotions. You are the only person who can soothe her right now…”
I mechanically nodded along to the housekeeper’s explanations. Basically, it meant I was to stay calm no matter how she reacted and to try to comfort her as much as possible.
I fully understood. That was, after all, why I had come.
“And if possible, please convince her to eat a little something.”
“I’ll make sure to do that.”
At my response, the housekeeper let out a sigh of relief.
This was insane. A son begging his mother to eat? How had things gotten so dire?
*
Power drained from my body. I couldn’t even manage to cry anymore.
“Niha, if you’re not going to eat, at least drink some water, will you?”
“I don’t feel like it…”
I replied in a strained voice to Laura’s statement. I didn’t even have the strength to shake my head or open my mouth. I felt like just lying back down and sleeping.
Besides, I had already drunk enough. Three cups should be enough, right?
“You probably spilled more than you drank. Why aren’t you drinking up?”
Laura’s reaction told me to stop with the nonsense, causing her to subtly turn her head in the opposite direction.
I could hear her let out an exasperated sigh, but she didn’t go so far as to forcefully turn my head. Perhaps it was because she understood I wasn’t feeling well.
“Kal is coming too, you know? Are you really going to welcome him looking like a ragamuffin? You want him to see you in such a weak state before he heads off to the battlefield?”
Instead, I tried to convince her using a more convincing approach.
“Kal is coming?”
I slowly turned my head toward Laura. Kal, is he really coming?
“Yes, the housekeeper sent a mage to the academy not long ago. Using teleportation means he should arrive soon.”
Laura saying this handed me a cup of water. It was almost like she was asking me if I had the guts not to drink after hearing such news.
“…I’ll drink it.”
Of course not. As a mother, I had no right to show weakness in front of my child.
“Ah.”
“Ah.”
But just as I brought the cup to my lips, it slipped from my hands. Thankfully, it fell onto the blanket, soaking it but not breaking.
Cold. Why is it so cold when it’s already summer?
“Now that Sara’s better, you’re the one causing trouble.”
I couldn’t lift my head in light of Laura’s disdainful comment.
Truthfully, I knew Laura was going through just as much as I was. She had taken care of Kal like her own child, making it hard for her to be unaffected by all this.
“I’ll get you fresh bedding in just a moment—”
Knock, knock
“Mother, it’s Kal. May I come in?”
With Kal’s voice cutting through Laura’s words, both our gazes turned toward the door.
Seeing the door, Laura quickly lifted the soaked blanket.
“Uh, Sub-lord! Please hold on for a moment.”
“Is there something going on inside?”
“No, um, the lady is just changing her clothes!”
Laura blurted out a ridiculous excuse, quickly shoving the wet blanket out of sight and throwing a fresh blanket at me.
Though my body was too weak, I quickly covered myself with the blanket. I couldn’t let Kal see me like this after hearing about my collapse.
“You may come in now.”
Once I made sure to cover myself, Laura spoke toward Kal.
But was it just me, or did Laura’s voice carry an oddly urgent vibe? Kal didn’t show any reaction at all.
“Then I shall come in.”
Fortunately, a moment later, the door slid open, and Kal stepped in cautiously. His hair was slightly ruffled as if he had rushed over, and the worry on his face made my heart ache.
How strange. I thought I had no more tears left, but just looking at Kal made me want to cry again.
‘Here I am, causing trouble.’
Of course, I knew exactly why I was feeling this way.
I felt ashamed. Kal was the one heading to war, yet it was I who was crying; I surely ought to be the one to comfort him, not the other way around. Instead of a good mother, I was making my son worried and weeping in front of him.
“Mother, are you alright?”
Even now, Kal came over and asked after me gently, treating me like I was still his mother.
“Kal…”
“Yes, Mother, I’m here.”
“Kal, Kal… my baby…”
I couldn’t stop calling Kal’s name as I held onto his hand.
His hands were calloused. They were worn from training and fighting, and I knew they had suffered because of the burden he carried as the Executive Manager. It pained me because he, born of a noble lineage, had borne so many hardships.
And only after holding that hand did I realize—when was the last time I had held it gently? No, had I done so at all?
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry…”
Tears fell like raindrops onto Kal’s hand. I knew I didn’t deserve to cry like this, but I couldn’t stop. I was acutely aware that the more I cried, the more difficult it became for Kal.
“I—I’m just a useless mother…”
A son who was called into war not once but twice. What had I truly ever done for him?
If, just in case—though I hoped it wouldn’t happen, but if today were to be the last time I saw Kal, would I even be remembered as a good mother? Would I remain in his memories as someone who cared?
As I lay in bed, I kept pondering such things. I had dreamed of Kal getting hurt as I slipped into a faint.
That’s why I held onto Kal’s hand tightly. If I let go, it felt like he would vanish from this world forever.
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